Sexuality Happens

Hey all! I’ve just started a gig reviewing toys for EdenFantasys.com. My first toy I reviewed was the White Heat Double Delight…which is both a G-Spot AND clit stimulating vibrator. When I first got the package, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but when I got the batteries in and the motor humming, Woooo-hoooo! What a fun little toy; definately a keeper in my book. Now I like a little more stimulation than most ladies, and I would have prefered a little thicker toy (particularly in the g-spot area), but all in all, this is an outstanding toy, and definately worth checking out. It certainly tickled my fancy (among other areas), and I would recommend giving a try for anyone looking for a combo g-spot/clit vibe. Check out this toy, other great toys, and this and future reviews by me at EdenFantasys.com

4 ooohs (out of 5)

-Essin’ Em

Read my entire, longer review, and check out the White Heat
***Originally Posted on www.hotmoviesforher.com***

This is part two of last week’s column on masturbation. I discussed many types of masturbation, but there was a glaring hole in the writing; no talk of sex toys. Why? Because they’re so awesome that I decided they needed a section all to themselves. Now, I’m not saying that everyone needs toys, but they are definitely fun to try, and if you’ve been trying the masturbation thing, and think you need a little more, or if you’re an old hand at it (no pun intended!), toys can take you alone time to a whole other level.

Let’s start with definitions, I know all these crazy names can get confusing.
A vibrator is pretty simple; it’s a toy that vibrates. They come in MANY shapes and sizes. Eggs are egg shaped, and can be used for clitoral stimulation, or shallow insertion into the vagina. Usually they come with a cord that is attached to the power pack. Different eggs have different types of settings. Some just have 2 or more levels, some have a dial that you can use to turn it up and down, and (my personal fav of the eggs) have different “programs,” so you can have fast pulses, slow pulses, roller coasters, random, and more. Eggs can be made out of plastic, rubber or silicone.

Then, there are your traditional slim-line type vibrators; these are long and relatively thin (although they do make them in thicker versions as well), and are slightly taped at the top. These are usually made out of plastic, although sometimes they are made out of silicone or rubber. Most of them have a twist knob at the bottom that you can use to turn it up or down. Many women use these for insertion, but of course they can also be used for clit stimulation. They tend to be a little less powerful than the eggs, so it depends on what you’re looking for.
Next, we have the family that I like to call the rabbit vibes (although they now have all sorts of animals on them) that were made popular by Charlotte on Sex and the City. These have a main shaft, and then an animal of sorts (a rabbit with ears, a dolphin tail, a panther nose, etc) that when the shaft is inserted, rests directly on your clit. These vibes are silicone or rubber, and usually have two different control settings; one that directs how fast the clit extension vibrates, and the other controls the shaft settings. Some shafts vibrate, others have beads in them that move or rotate.

Lastly is my absolute favorite of the vibrators is the wand vibrator. The main one is the Hitachi Magic Wand (see my review), but other companies make them as well. They plug in to the wall. That’s right, no batteries needed, they carry 110 volts. AMAZING. Now, if you only like a little stimulation, this probably isn’t for you, unless you put a pillow, blanket, or something in between you and it, but I personally swear on this vibe. It has a plastic handle with a two-speed switch (high and higher!), and then a soft, almost microphone shaped head. You can place the head anywhere on your body (nipples, mons, etc), and on your lips and clit. Additionally, they made attachments of different sorts for penetration; smooth, bumpy, g-spot stimulating, etc. Just be warned that if you used it during a rainstorm and the power goes out, you’re going to be one unhappy camper. Other wise, I am in love. With a piece of machinery.

Next, we come to dildos (and many vibrators are mistakenly put in this category). Dildos, which can be plastic, silicone, rubber, or the stunning pyrex, are long, phallic shaped (though not all are made to look like penises) toys which are meant for insertion into the vagina or anus. Some times call dongs, these are the things you see in movies that DO NOT vibrate, and are usually used when women are masturbating and are pushing it in and out of their vagina and/or anus. You can use a vibrator and a dildo at the same time (or for that matter, two vibes at the same time); feel free to be creative. A note; the only dildos that should be used for anal play are ones that have a flanged base (far larger than the tip), because unlike the vagina, the anus is a hungry beats, and will suck things up into it, far into your rectum and beyond, and you don’t want to have to explain to the ER doctor why you’re doubled over in pain. Anal plugs can also be used during masturbation; just again, remember, the bigger the base (not the toy itself of course), the safer you are! NEVER put an egg, or any corded toy in your anus, as the cord can break during removal.

Now there are all sorts of other toys you can use, many of them you can use with a partner (dual vibrators, double dildos, remote vibrators, nipple clamps, etc) as well as with yourself, so I think I’ll do a different column on toys with your partner, so keep an eye out for that.

In the mean time, let’s have a quick talk about cleaning your toys. Firstly, if you’re going to share your toys, use condoms on they. Yes, you can transmit STIs and other germs (and you don’t want a bacterial infection there, I promise) by sharing toys. Also, if you’re going to use a toy in your anus, and then in your vagina, condoms are definitely needed. Other wise, just clean them regularly. Glass dildos are easy; you can boil them. Plastic toys you can rub down with rubbing alcohol, or soap and water (just keep away from battery compartments). Silicone and rubber toys need soap and water; alcohol can dry them out. And as a side note, using lube on your toys is a great plan, just NEVER use silicone lube on silicone toys; it WILL melt them, and then no more toy.

As far as buying toys, many bigger areas now have female and couple friendly adult stores (many with toys out on the counter with batteries in them to let you know what they feel like) that are well lit and fun to shop in. Still nervous? There are TONS of awesome online sites (that bill with non-descript names) with lots of choices, and customer reviews. We have a link to the Toys in Babeland sit below; VERY female friendly.

Happy hunting!

Essin’ Em

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

Masturbation is a subject that is traditionally not talked about as much among groups of women as it is between guys, probably because it used to be (and kind of still is) very taboo for a woman to masturbate at all, let alone admit it to other. Well, I’m reclaiming masturbation. I masturbate!!!! And for those of you women out there who do so as well, awesome! And for those of you who tried it, and it wasn’t your thing, good for you! And for those of you that haven’t tried it yet, hopefully this will encourage you to go give it a try if you feel so inclined. Ok, enough kudos…on to the juicy bits.
Tons of women masturbate. Kinsey’s studies proved it, and Cosmo proves it in a more modern association. Women like to get off, it’s true. There are TONS of names for female masturbation. Some of my choice favorites include; ringing Southern bells, clicking the five fingered mouse, crossing the mason-dixon line, visiting the little man in the canoe, tip-toeing through the two-lips, misstressbating and jillin’ off, just to give you a little taste. The point it, you’re not alone. Your friends (at least someone them) probably do it. Your co-workers probably do it. I hate to break it to you, but your mom has probably at least tried it. It is nothing to be ashamed about, and I think it’s ridiculous that people don’t talk about it. Masturbation, in my opinion, is amazing, and I want to share it’s wonderfulness with everyone. And I’m starting with you.
The lovely thing about being a woman (well, one of many) is that when it comes to masturbation, you have a schmorgasboard of things to try. Studies have demonstrated that they have yet to find two women that masturbate in the EXACT same way, in the same order, etc. So see, we’re like snowflakes. Masturbating snowflakes.
You can always give a go at the hand; an oldie but a goodie. There are all sorts of things you can do with your hand; you can use your fingers to stimulate your clit and lips at various speeds and pressures. You can use the palm of your hand to rub against your mons pubis (that cute little bump that is naturally covered with hair). You can lie on your whole hand and rub your body against it; there are so many things to try, and that’s just on the outside.
While research says less than 2% of women masturbate ONLY using penetration, lots and lots of women like a little penetration with their outer stimulation, and we all know that we were born with fingers for a reason. You can play with the opening of your vagina, or stick one, two, or how every many fingers you want into it. Once inside, more choices! Move them around, bend them, keep them still. It’s like choose your own adventure, except the ending is way more exciting. And remember, you have two hands, and a very advanced brain; you CAN multi-task. Some people also like to use one hand to play with their nipples, hair, lips, neck, ears, and more while doing it.
However, that’s not all folks! There are tons of other ways to misstressbate (oh, check me using my favorite terms!). Have access to a bathtub with a faucet? Well, you’re well on your way to joining the ranks of the O-army. Some women like to lay on their back with their feet up against the wall with the water from the bottom faucet running on their clit and other lady bits. I myself have a personal fondness for the massaging shower head (although I realize now that mind didn’t move, and I had to do the back thing as well…but they sell ones that you can take off the wall and move around. How technology has changed things), and my friend’s mother finally told me that she had discovered hers, and it’s helping her get through her divorce.
Not into water? How about the women that rub up against things? You can place a pillow on a bed, couch, etc, and lie on top of it, rubbing against it. Or put on a pair of really tight jeans and straddle the arm of a couch (don’t even get me start on tight jeans and washing machines…). Arm of a chair, corner of a rounded table, you name it; if you can rub up against it, I bet you some woman has done it.
As you can see, there are tons and tons of ways to get yourself off, all requiring next to nothing. It is very important to remember that this is you time; do what feels good to you, explore your body, try out new things. You might not always (or even ever) get to orgasm. If you do, great, but if not, remember that this is a journey, and shouldn’t be goal based.
Oh, what’s that? You wanted to know about toys? Well, I am a huge fan of all types of toys as well. But sadly, I only have so much space, and I want to keep you reading, so keep your eyes open for masturbation part two; toys, toys, toys!

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

Masturbation is a subject that is traditionally not talked about as much among groups of women as it is between guys, probably because it used to be (and kind of still is) very taboo for a woman to masturbate at all, let alone admit it to other. Well, I’m reclaiming masturbation. I masturbate!!!! And for those of you women out there who do so as well, awesome! And for those of you who tried it, and it wasn’t your thing, good for you! And for those of you that haven’t tried it yet, hopefully this will encourage you to go give it a try if you feel so inclined. Ok, enough kudos…on to the juicy bits.
Tons of women masturbate. Kinsey’s studies proved it, and Cosmo proves it in a more modern association. Women like to get off, it’s true. There are TONS of names for female masturbation. Some of my choice favorites include; ringing Southern bells, clicking the five fingered mouse, crossing the mason-dixon line, visiting the little man in the canoe, tip-toeing through the two-lips, misstressbating and jillin’ off, just to give you a little taste. The point it, you’re not alone. Your friends (at least someone them) probably do it. Your co-workers probably do it. I hate to break it to you, but your mom has probably at least tried it. It is nothing to be ashamed about, and I think it’s ridiculous that people don’t talk about it. Masturbation, in my opinion, is amazing, and I want to share it’s wonderfulness with everyone. And I’m starting with you.
The lovely thing about being a woman (well, one of many) is that when it comes to masturbation, you have a schmorgasboard of things to try. Studies have demonstrated that they have yet to find two women that masturbate in the EXACT same way, in the same order, etc. So see, we’re like snowflakes. Masturbating snowflakes.
You can always give a go at the hand; an oldie but a goodie. There are all sorts of things you can do with your hand; you can use your fingers to stimulate your clit and lips at various speeds and pressures. You can use the palm of your hand to rub against your mons pubis (that cute little bump that is naturally covered with hair). You can lie on your whole hand and rub your body against it; there are so many things to try, and that’s just on the outside.
While research says less than 2% of women masturbate ONLY using penetration, lots and lots of women like a little penetration with their outer stimulation, and we all know that we were born with fingers for a reason. You can play with the opening of your vagina, or stick one, two, or how every many fingers you want into it. Once inside, more choices! Move them around, bend them, keep them still. It’s like choose your own adventure, except the ending is way more exciting. And remember, you have two hands, and a very advanced brain; you CAN multi-task. Some people also like to use one hand to play with their nipples, hair, lips, neck, ears, and more while doing it.
However, that’s not all folks! There are tons of other ways to misstressbate (oh, check me using my favorite terms!). Have access to a bathtub with a faucet? Well, you’re well on your way to joining the ranks of the O-army. Some women like to lay on their back with their feet up against the wall with the water from the bottom faucet running on their clit and other lady bits. I myself have a personal fondness for the massaging shower head (although I realize now that mind didn’t move, and I had to do the back thing as well…but they sell ones that you can take off the wall and move around. How technology has changed things), and my friend’s mother finally told me that she had discovered hers, and it’s helping her get through her divorce.
Not into water? How about the women that rub up against things? You can place a pillow on a bed, couch, etc, and lie on top of it, rubbing against it. Or put on a pair of really tight jeans and straddle the arm of a couch (don’t even get me start on tight jeans and washing machines…). Arm of a chair, corner of a rounded table, you name it; if you can rub up against it, I bet you some woman has done it.
As you can see, there are tons and tons of ways to get yourself off, all requiring next to nothing. It is very important to remember that this is you time; do what feels good to you, explore your body, try out new things. You might not always (or even ever) get to orgasm. If you do, great, but if not, remember that this is a journey, and shouldn’t be goal based.
Oh, what’s that? You wanted to know about toys? Well, I am a huge fan of all types of toys as well. But sadly, I only have so much space, and I want to keep you reading, so keep your eyes open for masturbation part two; toys, toys, toys!

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

My partner watches porn all the time…does that mean that he wants me to be blonde and skinny with big boobs, and get cum all over my face? Does his watching porn mean he wants someone better or different? Am I just not good enough for him?
-Jane from Morristown, NJ

For this question, I decided that I needed some male opinions as well, because I don’t have a penis, so I can’t answer completely for them as a whole (well, I could, but I’d prefer to give y’all more accurate information). So thanks to the guys that answered my probing inquiries on this one.
The general consensus among the boys was that no, they don’t want you to be porn stars. One even went so far as to say that the only reason he watches porn with woman that have fake breasts is because that is all there is out there (and while there are some companies that aren’t like that, he is right in that the majority of porn uses a certain type of woman). Many guys said that they don’t like breast implants, or bleached blonde hair, and they certainly don’t want their girlfriends changing themselves into starlets; there is a reason that they are dating you, and it probably has nothing to do with the color of your hair or natural vs. realness of your breasts.
Another thing that we talked about a lot was imagination. Porn opens peoples’ minds, stimulates the imagination, and provides something different than the norm. It’s kind like eating food; you can absolutely LOVE something…let’s say chocolate (not that I’m channeling or anything!). You can eat lots of chocolate, different flavors, different types, etc, but eventually, you will get tired of chocolate (I know from experience…ever have a chocolate Passover seder? It’s over before the 3rd cup of chocolate milk), and have to move on to some other delectable treat, or at least take a break. Porn can provide the same change of scenery for both guys and gals, without having to try the real thing. For some guys, seeing the girls on the screen can make them realize how thankful they are for the woman that they have; beautiful, real, and in love with them.
Granted, some people might get ideas from porn; “hey honey, we’ve never tried it on the kitchen counter…want to give it a go?” but by and large, most guys do not want their significant other to emulate the star of cum sucking MILF whores gone wild volume 69 (in the same way that I personally don’t ever want any of my partners to slap me across the face with their dick, yet that happens in a lot of the porn I watch). Porn is just something different, some of it is arousing, some of it is watched solely for WTF (what the fuck) value, and some of it is just because it’s there. And women watch porn too (clearly…look at what site you’re on!), and I don’t think the majority of us expect our partners to be exactly what we see on the screen.
Let’s take romance novels as well. Romance novels, or Bodice Rippers as my mother calls them, are a completely acceptable form of erotica for women…I even gave a historically accurate one to my high school English teacher. You can buy them in the store with out feeling to awkward, and most sales clerks won’t even bat an eye. Yet, what is in romance novels (other than far too much plot, and many strange synonyms, like “sword sheathed in velvet” or “flowering bud of womanly desire)? Porn. Yup, good old written-word porn. I’ve read it, my friends read it, and middle-aged ladies on my train read it. How many of us really want some Scottish rouge from the highlands to sweep us off our feet and drag us back to his castle to worship our bodies? Ok, bad example, but seriously, we read these books because they are fantasy; we can imagine doing things we might never want to try, and we can imagine being with people that we’d never want to be with in real life. Visual porn is similar; inspiring, arousing, fantasy, but not what we want to come home to every night.
Maybe you would feel more comfortable if the two of you checked out some porn together, so it doesn’t seem so secret, or like he’s trying to distance himself from you. Check out some movies that are by women, or made for women (we’ve got plenty) that the two of you can watch together. See if you can find a movie you both like, or a fantasy that the two of you share; you don’t have to watch hard core or fake breasts if you don’t want to. Find something that if comfortable for the both of you. OR, try looking for some stuff on your own, whether that’s written word or visual. Every person has different fantasies and turn-ons – find yours and run with it.
Just remember, while he might be checking out the porn stars on screen, who is it that get goes to bed with? You. And that’s what matters.

I’ll be watching you,

Essin’ Em

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

I’m trying to figure out an extra special present for my partner, and was thinking about the idea of nude pictures (or maybe bringing the camera into the bedroom), but I’m a little camera shy…what are your thoughts?
-Shy in Cheyenne

What a great idea! I personally am a huge proponent of nude photos, having had several done of myself, and realizing the amount my self esteem and confidence increased afterwards.
There are several ways to go about this. If you want to get some beautiful pictures done and give them to your partner as a gift, you have two choices; you can either go find a professional photographer who does nudes, or enlist the help of a good and artistic friend. It really depends on your budget, how comfortable you are stripping in front of a stranger, and what kind of friends you have. Either way, I’d highly suggest having them done in black and white; not only is that extremely classy looking, but everyone looks good in black and white photos; they soften everything, and make your curves look even more beautiful.
You can bring props with you; whatever makes you feel sexy, whether that is satin gloves, a sex toy, lingerie, a collar, etc. These pictures about you; do whatever you need to feel beautiful both while getting them, and then later on while looking at them. Pose in ways that feel comfortable to you…you don’t have to echo the latest Maxim or Playboy models, just do what feels right for you.
If you’re going for something a little more risqué, try taking some pictures yourself, either in the mirror, or with a camera with a timer.
If either you or a friend is doing the photos, make sure you know exactly where the negatives/digital pictures are. Delete them off your camera before going clubbing or to the church potluck, because Murphy’s Law comes into play; if you have naked pictures on your camera and are in public, someone will borrow your camera, and see them. It’s just how the world works. Trust me, I know. Bad bad bad plan.
As far as getting them printed, you might not want to go to your local grocery store or pharmacy, depending on how small your town is, or how well you know the clerks. Another option is to use the websites on the net that let you upload digital photos, and have the prints shipped to your house. A little less personal and a little more private (unless of course you live with your parents, and they sometimes open your mail. In that case, this would be a bad plan).
These basic suggestions apply for couple pictures as well. If you want some pictures of you and you lover engaged in all types of hot activities, I’d highly suggest investing in a camera with a timer, unless you just want pictures of entangled limbs. Also, a video camera can work well too; just make sure you label the tapes/dvds so that no friends, children, etc are in for a naughty surprise.
All in all, naked pictures (and movies) can certainly add a whole new dimension to your relationship, and can make you feel so much better about your body…just make sure you take a few precautions to make sure your foray into photos doesn’t cause some embarrassing situations.

Just a click away,

Essin’ Em

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

My partner isn’t very good at pleasuring me. He/She is more of a wham, bam, thank you ma’am kind of lover, and doesn’t have a lot of experience with manual stimulation/cunnilingus, but wants to get better. What kind of advice or hints can I give my partner so I can get more enjoyable sex without sounding too bossy or controlling?

– Women all over the universe

Ah. The question I kept asking myself all through my undergraduate years. With out buying a pocket pussy, and licking it myself to show my partners exactly what I wanted, how in the hell was I going to get what I wanted? And since I wasn’t ready to buy a silicone crotch, I suffered in silence (or faked it) for many a long night.
But then I realized that most people actually want to be good at pleasing their partner. I know I really do, and have no qualms asking my partner if what I’m doing feels good, if they want more or less, what else they’d like me to do. That’s easy for me, but even I, Miss Sexpert Extraordinaire, have issues telling my lovers everything I need to get off. So, if you’re in the same or similar boat, here’s a cheat sheet to hand to your partner with coffee, leave on the pillow before your next tryst, or to read out loud together in a funny accent to make it less intimidating (ok, maybe the accent thing is just me).
Each woman is, for lack of a better analogy, like a snowflake (clearly, I like the snow. I AM from Colorado), completely different. Some women like lots of clit stimulation, others like 1 finger penetrating, and others like a lot more. It totally varies from person to person, and even the same woman may like different things at different times. Firstly, realize that this shouldn’t be 100% goal based; too much pressure to reach orgasm can cause performance anxiety, and make it even harder, so know that the journey of getting there (all the playing and fingering and licking and sucking) are very enjoyable to both parties. And sometimes, we don’t want to have orgasms…I’ve never been with a guy who seemed to get this. Sometimes the stimulation is nice, and I like to play, but I’m not really in the mood to come. Really. I’m not lying. And sometimes that’s all I want, so please get to work. Also, many women need a little more time to get aroused than most men do; keep this in mind. Not everyone does, but most of us can’t go from 0-60 in the time it takes to unbutton my pants. If she enjoys kissing, give her lots of that. Neck, ears, lips, breasts, nipples, belly button, etc. If you think you’ve kissed and petted her enough, do it a little more. Then keep moving. Additionally, some women (myself included) really really really like their breasts played with (although just FYI, nipples do not equal radio dials). Other women are not so mammary focused, so again, this is the point when you ask. Talk to her, ask her what feels good, if what you’re doing is enough, if she prefers faster or slower. Look for feedback; moans, back arching, eyes closing, pushing herself closer to your hand or mouth. If she is pushing your hand away, or tensing up and moving away from you, that would probably be a bad sign. Try different things, if you’ve made it to her lower set of lips, give them a lick or a stroke, and keep going to her thighs, and then come back on up. For the most part, teasing is good. Start with her lips, NOT her clit, and start lightly and slowly and work your way up. If she tells you to go faster/slower/harder/softer, do it. And once you’ve found the right speed and intensity, don’t speed up or push harder; just keep doing it. And once you’re getting to that point, DON’T STOP. While I keep stressing communication, I realize that a) this is hard, and b) sometimes you just need to know what to do. I have a book fetish; I collect sex books. Some are good, some aren’t so wonderful, but most of them have sections on cunnilingus and finger a woman. Why don’t you try reading it together, and having her tell you what she likes/dislikes as she reads it? Or give the different techniques a try. My favorite book would have to be “The Guide to Getting it On”, which is available at Babeland, linked off of our main page, but most sexuality related books will suffice.

Wishing you some joyful journeying,

Essin’ Em

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

It has occurred to me, and the rest of the office, that some of these are more outfit based, and not so much role-playing. You can do it either way; whatever works for you. And if you have some kind of role playing fantasy that isn’t on here (suggestions from the co-workers; hitchhikers, star trek, naughty nuns, mail carriers, sales clerks, etc). have at it; figure out what turns you and your partner on, because as we all know, that’s really all that matters. Here is the continuation from my last list of the top 10 role playing fantasies.

5. Genie

Magic and mysticism always can be fun, and what is more enticing than getting three wishes? Find some silk, satin or chiffon scarves, and some loose pants or see-through teddies, beautifully colored vibrant make up, burn a little incense, and *poof!*, it’s time to come out of the bottle. Agree on some limits before hand, and once those are in place, go ahead and make your wishes, and watch your dreams come true.

4. Prostitute/Escort

To some people, this is a huge turn off, but for others, the idea of sashaying up to a working girl (or guy) and paying for what you want (and getting in, getting off, and getting out) has some major fantasy appeal, particularly when you’re not in danger of getting any STIs or spending the night in a real jail cell. Again, agree upon some limits before hand so no one gets uncomfortable, and then head out to a street corner, or put in a call to your loved one’s cell phone to arrange for a…happy ending. Outfits for the ladies could include high boots, sexy stockings, matching lingerie, short skirts, etc. For the guys; tight pants, mesh or tight shirts, etc.

3. Strangers

Strangers in the night…exchanging glances. This idea of picking someone up at a bar, and going home with them right then and there is very popular, but in today’s age of diseases, stalkers, etc, it usually isn’t the best of ideas. However, pretending that your partner is a stranger, and picking them up can be lots of fun, and can make it easier to try new things. Decide on a venue first; do you want to go classy with a cocktail lounge, or are you two more of a dive bar type of couple? Dress in one of your favorite outfits that makes you feel confident and sexy, and figure which one of you is going to be doing the picking up and which one will be the one being picked up. With this set up, go out, have a drink, and wait for that sexy stranger to buy to a drink.

2. Secretary/Librarian

It could be the glasses, or the button down shirt, or the hair pulled back tightly in a bun. Or maybe it’s the idea that an office assistant or library lady is so reserved in their daily job and activities that there is a wild woman inside who is just dying to get out. Start with a pencil skirt or well fitting pair of pants, add the button down shirt, sweep your hair up and back, and then finish the look with a pair of “sex-retary” glasses. When the time comes, look over the tops of the frames at your lover with a sultry glance before pulling your hair out of it’s knot and shaking it loose. If they get too loud, don’t forget to shhhhh them before moving on.

1. School Girl

I can’t think of any one fantasy that is more popular than that of the innocent-turned-naughty schoolgirl (or teacher for that matter), and this is one of the easiest role-plays to try out. With a plaid skirt (short or long…doesn’t matter, as it will be coming off), a white button down, and some pigtails, anyone can be transported in to the realm of bubble gum, boyfriend drama and a ruler knocking you on the knuckles. You could play it from the naughty angle, and have the bad schoolgirl in detention, or go for more of a sex-ed or corruption tactic. To complete the outfit, maybe have some white stockings, Mary Janes, and/or a pair of cute glasses.

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

Well folks, it’s time that I write about something very near and dear to my heart; fantasy roll playing. No, I’m not talking about online RPG games, I’m talking about heating it up in the bedroom with a little pretend Everyone has an imagination, and hopefully most of you are using yours. Sex should be fun, and exciting, and to keep it such, a great thing you can do is mix it up a bit from time to time.

To help you out a little, I’ve asked around the office, held a unofficial poll and we’ve come up with ten of the most popular sexual role playing fantasies, and I’ll give you a little info and some ideas about each of them.

10. Fireman/woman
Yes, yes, there is always the appeal of a guy with a big hose, but there is more to it than that. Maybe there is something to being rescued, whether to be saved from a burning house, or if you need them to put out the fire of passion burning in your panties. Either way, this is always a fun one. Start with some back pants and the hot suspenders, and maybe even crank up the thermostat to get the blood pumping and sweat dripping. After being rescued, take a nice cool shower to cool the two of you down, and you can always slide down the fire pole again and again.

9. Cowgirls/Cowboys
Whether you’re into the more countrified version or more of a rhinestone cowgirl kind of a deal, chaps look good on everyone. And cowboy/girl hats are easy to come by, and look just as hot. See if you can find a mechanical bull near you to get you in the mood; otherwise, just wrangle your partner and ride them long and hard into the night. Rope is a great prop with this one.

8. Medical role play (nurses and doctors)
It might be the pure, crispness of a nurses outfit, or all the intimate places a doctor gets to go, but nurse/doctor, nurse/patient and doctor/patient scenarios are definitely everywhere you look! If you don’t feel like buying all new outfits, check out your local thrift store for scrubs, and a kids store for a play stethoscope. When you’re a really adventurous person, you can even get a plastic speculum and check out things down there…enjoy being the naughty nurse or devious doctor you’ve always envied!

7. Cheerleader/Sports Team
One of my co-workers from Hotmovies.com is apparently all about the joggers and swim instructors, so I’ll throw that in here just for him. Cheerleaders and the football team, or the team coach and star player, or even teammates, there is something about coming off the field, track or rink while hot and sweaty and with adrenaline pumping. Any short skirt can help to pull of the cheerleader look, and a sports bra and athletic shorts can be used for the athletic look. If you want to be more accurate, stop by a thrift store or sporting goods store to pick up the more authentic pieces…and then, play ball!

6. Police/criminal
While jail fantasies are certainly popular, finding a place with bars and a padlock can be difficult. To make things easier, get a cheap pair (or two) of handcuffs (furry or plain) from your local costume or adult store, and then it’s time to commit a crime. Maybe it’s breaking curfew, or stealing the last cookie from the pantry; whatever it is, it’s time to stop in the name of the law. The cop can wear a blue shirt, and most toy stores have fake badges. Make sure the ‘criminal’ gets a through pat down, and then a strip search. Later on, a more complete body cavity search may be needed.

Try these out for size, and next week, part two with the top 5 role-playing fantasies!

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com

So what’s the deal with all this safe/safer sex stuff anyways? In the last 20 years, the discovery and spread of HIV/AIDS as well as research produced on other STIs (sexually transmitted infections) has necessitated the use of safer sex methods with most sexual activity. It’s not the most fun thing in the world, but safer sex keeps you and your partner healthy and safe, and able to keep having hot sex over and over and over again.
Now, I know all the letters get confusing. Gnarly sex germs used to be known as VD; venereal diseases. Then the wording changed, and behold; STDs – Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Over the past couple of years, the term has changed to STIs which stands for the Sexually Transmitted Infections that we now know.
EVERYONE who is sexually active is at risk, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation (yup, even lesbians and bi girls have to practice safe sex too!). These infections don’t discriminate, they go after everyone. Activities which are generally considered at risk are cunnilingus, fellatio, vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, and some say even manual stimulation (handiwork, fingering, jerking someone off, etc) on someone else can carry risks.
There are condoms. Condoms come two main types; male and female (yes, there ARE female condoms). All female condoms are poly-urethane, whereas male condoms can be latex, poly-urethane or lambskin. ONLY LATEX AND POLY-URETHANE MALE CONDOMS ARE PROVEN TO PREVENT THE SPREAD OF MOST STIs. While female condoms can provide a better barrier against herpes according to some studies, they’re not marketing to prevent STIs, and lambskin condoms do nothing against STIs. You can use condoms when giving/receiving fellatio (a blow job), vaginal sex, or anal sex. The condom needs to be put on BEFORE any penetration (pre-cum can carry infections as well) and taken off, tied and tossed right after you are done, before the guy loses his erection. If you put a little lubrication inside the tip of the condom, it’ll feel better as well. They make flavored condoms, and better yet, a whole ton of flavored lube if that’s what you’d prefer during oral sex; I know I prefer strawberry or mint to the distinctive flavor of latex.
For giving/receiving cunnilingus (eating out) or analingus (rim job), dental dams or non-microwaveable plastic wrap are your best bets. You can also use a condom cut in half length wise, or a latex glove with all the fingers cut off, and cut open at the thumb. Put some lubricant on the side that is going on the vagina or anus, and then stretch it out, and go at it. Again, I’m a fan of flavored lubes, but do whatever works for you.
As far as fingering, jerking off, etc (vagina, penis and anus), you can choose to use latex gloves and lube as well. It can make like a lot easier too if you have long nails, hang nails, calluses, etc – all things that might make your nether regions a bit sore.
Important things to remember; always use a new condom after ejaculation, use a new condom when going from anal intercourse to ANYTHING else, use a new dental dam/piece of plastic wrap when switching from analingus to ANYTHING else, NEVER use two condoms EVER (the friction between the two will make there more likely to break, so you’re WAY less safe), and make sure you’re lube is oil-free – Crisco, lotion, olive oil, etc (anything with oil in it) causes condoms to disintegrate, which kind of defeats the whole purpose.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a period of time, and have the birth control thing under control (if it’s even an issue), and want to practice safer sex without a barrier method, it’s time to get tested. Sadly, we’re not in grade school, and this isn’t a test you can study for, and depending on your insurance, it might run up a bit of money (although local health clinics such as Planned Parenthood tend to have sliding scale fees). The health care provider will talk to you (and your partner if you go together) about what infections you may have been put at risk for, and will test for them. Most people chose to get tested for HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis, Chlamydia, herpes, and HPV (and in case you haven’t heard, HPV causes cervical cancer…pretty scary if you ask me). Sometimes you may have to come back to get tested, as different infections have different incubation times. Usually you can get the results over the phone, but some clinics may have you come in to pick them up in person. Either way, once you’re tested, you can see if you need to seek treatment for any infections you may have (and if you have a viral infection, you cannot cute it; rather the meds will you help get it under control). Once you have a clean bill of health, you and your partner can have latex (or poly-urethane) free sex! And you don’t have to be in a relationship to be tested; some people get tested on a yearly or bi-yearly basis (including yours truly) just to be on the safe side, and to know where they stand.
And if you do have an infection, that doesn’t mean you can’t keep having great sex. But it does mean you have to be extra careful not to infect your current (or future) partner (s). Also, there are many strains of every infection; just because you already have herpes doesn’t mean you should go practice unsafe sex with everyone who has herpes; you could get it AGAIN and have twice as many outbreaks, which would be no fun.
So keep it fun, sexy and safe. Watch out for yourself, watch out for your partners, and watch out for your friends. Spread the word, and have steamy safer sex.

The right selection is to protect your erection and if you really love her, wear a cover!

Essin’ Em

Originally Posted On HotMoviesForHer.com