Sexuality Happens

I’ve decided to finally get up off my ass, and post part two of The Challenge (read the first part here). So voila. Remember, this is from back in undergrad, so my writing has improved a bit since then. Those will be posted later… Enjoy!

The Challenge, Part 2

“Oh, god please sir, yes sir, I need to come please, right now. I will do anything to do so, sir.” She was almost in tears because of the emotions washing over her.

“Well, we’ll discuss the whole ‘doing anything’ part later on, but I suppose I could let you come. Again. And maybe again.” With that, he turned the egg back on, and her confusion at his letting her get away with disobeying him fled as she focused on reaching that orgasm which he had been denying her. Turning the egg on to its lowest setting, the one he knew wouldn’t allow her to orgasm, he placed it directly on her clit. He then grabbed her favorite vibrator from her night table, a slim, five inch, two speed vibrator. He spread a small amount of warming lube on it, he gently eased it into her vagina, enjoying her moans at the feeling of being filled, and then turned the base on to the lowest setting. Grabbing the saran wrap he had laid out for this very purpose, he fashioned her a type of harness or belt, wrapped once around her waist, with another strip coming down to hold the egg tightly in place against her clit and to keep the other vibrator securely in her vagina. She was getting confused again, but was horny enough not to say anything, in case it kept him from letting her come again. Pushing against the egg served no purpose except to make her hotter and hornier, but she was hoping he’d keep to his word, and let her come. Once his new invention was in place, he turned off the egg, making her moan in frustration again. He spoke up saying “Alright, here’s the deal. Do you want to come?”

“Yes sir, oh my god yes, more than anything.” She answered quickly.

“So if I let you come, you’ll let me do anything?” He was getting excited at this game of his he had created.

“Yes sir, ANYTHING. Please, just let me come!” She was desperate now.

“Ok, this is how it’s going to be. I’m going to turn it on, first to the lowest level, and then bump it up to level two, which I know is the first level that will make you come.” He laughed at the relief that crossed her face. “The vibrator will then stay on your clit, and each time you come, I’m going to turn it up a level, and when you come again, I will turn it up another level. If I get bored, I might tighten your nipple clamps, kiss you some more, anything else I want to do. When you’ve had at least 10 orgasms, then maybe I’ll think about turning it down, or something. Because you wanted to come, and now are going to, until I’m done with you, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.” With that, he stepped closer to the bed as the realization dawned on her face that he was going to make her come over and over again and she had agreed to it.

Before she could protest or let it sink in anymore, he turned the egg back on to the first setting, and she moaned. After letting her get worked up a bit more, he move it up a level, and could see her bucking her pelvis as she reached her peak for the second time that night. She strained against the restraints for a bit, and then relaxed back into the bed, forgetting that she was nowhere near to done. He felt that she was having it a bit too easy, so he grabbed a pillow from near her head, and placed it against the vibrator between her legs, giving her even more vibrations and pressure being placed directly against her already sensitive clit.

He reached up, and with a kiss on each breast, he tightened the nipple clamps a quarter turn and reveled in the sounds of her deep intake of breath. With that, he turned up the vibrator another level. A gasp from her, and she was off again, writhing desperately against her restraints, trying to get away from the sensations and to bring them closer at the same time.

I just took a couple of quick pictures before I took my piercing out, just so I’d have them. Since a couple people asked for a picture, I thought I’d put one up. What you can’t really see is that the top barbell has a red gemstone (CZ), since I decided to bling my thing.

It still isn’t healed right, even though I took it out more than 2 weeks ago. As J says, it looks kind of like a tranny cock. I don’t think it looks as much like that, as just like it’s reading for a piercing…basically, so much scar tissue built up so fast that it is still in the same shape as though a barbell was still in it, raised in a vertical way. It’s kind of weird, and still stings sometimes…but oh well, what can you do.

It’s so frustrating. I’m horny, but orgasms (or sexual stimulation in general) bring on these death migraines. So I couldn’t masturbate for a like 4 weeks because of this damn clit hood piercing, and now I can’t masturbate for fear of getting a death migraine. Am I never going to be able to have orgasms again? Will I remain sexless for the rest of my life?

Has anyone else suddenly started to have super bad migraines because of sex (and orgasms?) I mean, I used to get migraines when I was like 13 and masturbating, because I held my breath when I orgasmed, and that triggered them, but now I’ve changed my breathing patterns, and it hasn’t been a problem up until recently…but in late August, I started getting normal migraines, and now I’m getting literally the worst headaches of my life (that’s how the 5 day long one was triggered; playing with J and the magic wand). Suggestions? Advice? Anything to help me until I get into a doctor? And how the hell to do explain this to a doctor?

Oy. That’s all I have to say

I am now on anti-inflammatories for my knee, compazine for my head, and the Z-pack for the bacterial infection inflaming all my lymph nodes. I have been to 5 different pharmacies in the last 5 days…including 2 today. I am at home drinking chai and Emergen-C like the world is going to end.

To add insult to injury, I’m on my period. I’m not supposed to be. I’m on a CBC plan (continuous birth control) due to my abnormally long and painful periods, so I only have them twice a year…but I started randomly, and I’m not even near the end of a hormonal cycle. So I’m having horrid cramps, and can’t have an orgasm to alleviate them, because orgasm = migraines coming back. And the headache center I’m supposed to go to on weds at 1pm called and left a message confirming Tuesday at 9am, and I can’t call back to check until Monday. Bah.

All I want to do is have J here with me, feeding me tea and soup, curled up around me in bed, rubbing my back, petting my hair. As much as I love my independence, sometimes I hate living alone, because when I’m sick or tired or sad, there is no one to make me feel better or offer sympathy, or turn on a hot steamy shower for me. I just feel so alone.

And all day, my left outside thigh has alternated between pins and needles, and going numb. I have no idea what that’s a sign of, but I’m not going back to the doctor or an ER unless I’m dying and am breathing my last breath. I have stab marks and bruises in all my arms and elbows and hands.

I just want to be better.

On the positive note, I’m watching Camp Nowhere, circa 1994. What a gem :) Is it bad I remember watching it when it was a new release?

I am now on anti-inflammatories for my knee, compazine for my head, and the Z-pack for the bacterial infection inflaming all my lymph nodes. I have been to 5 different pharmacies in the last 5 days…including 2 today. I am at home drinking chai and Emergen-C like the world is going to end.

To add insult to injury, I’m on my period. I’m not supposed to be. I’m on a CBC plan (continuous birth control) due to my abnormally long and painful periods, so I only have them twice a year…but I started randomly, and I’m not even near the end of a hormonal cycle. So I’m having horrid cramps, and can’t have an orgasm to alleviate them, because orgasm = migraines coming back. And the headache center I’m supposed to go to on weds at 1pm called and left a message confirming Tuesday at 9am, and I can’t call back to check until Monday. Bah.

All I want to do is have J here with me, feeding me tea and soup, curled up around me in bed, rubbing my back, petting my hair. As much as I love my independence, sometimes I hate living alone, because when I’m sick or tired or sad, there is no one to make me feel better or offer sympathy, or turn on a hot steamy shower for me. I just feel so alone.

And all day, my left outside thigh has alternated between pins and needles, and going numb. I have no idea what that’s a sign of, but I’m not going back to the doctor or an ER unless I’m dying and am breathing my last breath. I have stab marks and bruises in all my arms and elbows and hands.

I just want to be better.

On the positive note, I’m watching Camp Nowhere, circa 1994. What a gem :) Is it bad I remember watching it when it was a new release?

So if you’ve been following this blog for more than a month or two (or perhaps even then), I’m obsessed with sex toys. I have them for sex, for demonstration, for decoration, you name it. My dream house has a large entrance way with shadow boxes of sex toys made from creative materials (ceramics, glass, metal, wood and stone so… far).

One toy I have always wanted, and yet never bit the bullet and bought was the NJoy Pure Wand…even though I’ve wrote about craving it many a time.

Well, I finally broke down and bought it. I figured that at the very least, it would look pretty on my wall. However, who would have guessed the amazing times it would bring?

I brought it with me to J’s when I went up to NY for a visit. I also brought other new toys…which I’ll write about later (including my first time with a strap-on~I know, what kind of queer kid am I?!?!) J looked at it skeptically, especially when I asked J if it would be ok to top J with it. I’m sure J’s thoughts ran something like “crazy sex crazed maniac wants to stick metal in my cunt say what?” But being the good partner J is, I got the ok.

This is two days blending into one…I think J came 4 or 5 times with the Pure Wand. Here are two of my favorites…the first, and the time J ejaculated, all rolled into one story.

I set the mood…lots of mental topping (that’s the kind I’m best at…not so good at the rest) with a few strikes here, a few slaps there, and naughty nibbles in all of the most delicious places. J was wet and wanted to come, and I hadn’t even started fucking yet.

I took the wand out of its beautiful box, the metal shining against the red satin. Lubing it up, I slowly inserted the small end into J, who jumped at the sensation of a cold, metal dildo being inserted. After giving it a few seconds to warm up to J’s skin temp, I slid it in and out, slowly, because I’d never done this before and didn’t want to hurt J accidentally (on purpose is ok, of course…with consent!). In no time at all, it was clear that we needed the bigger end.

J’s cunt was dripping, so I didn’t need anymore lube, I just used what was in front of me to prepare the bigger end. It stretched the opening a bit going in, but once it pop it, J’s eyes squeezed shut as I gently moved the toy inside.

We had a bit of trial and error as we figured out what felt good, but eventually I was fucking J with the Pure Wand, just the two of us, in a twin bed on the floor of a college dorm room. So random, but so fucking hot.

Soon, J wanted to come. After a bit of teasing, I said yes. I had plans…plans J didn’t know about. J came with some finger stimulation…I took a quick pause, and went back to fucking J with the wand. Hard. God, the noises J makes just send shivers down my spine (the ones J makes when I’m going down? I’ve almost come just from those). After more teasing, taunting and fucking, I brought out the big guns; The Hitachi Magic Wand.

It was like some sort of warped Harry Potter porn with the dueling wands; the Pure Wand against the Magic Wand…excepted instead of working against each other, they worked together to turn J on so much…almost more than I had ever seen. I was using the Pure Wand to fuck J so hard, and the Magic Wand on J’s clit, making J squirm, just the way I wanted it. J asked to come. I said no, and turned off the wand. After a minute or so, I turned it back on…and J was just starting to ask to come when…

J’s roommate came home, and knocked on the door. After assuring him that we’d only be 10 more minutes, he hopped in the shower, and I turned the wand back on, letting J hold it this time. J put it in the perfect place, and then after a few seconds, asked to come. I said no…and J moved the Magic Wand. I moved it back, telling J that if J wanted to come, that Wand better be in the right place, and J better be trying. Again, the Magic Wand brought J to the edge, and J asked to come. Again, I denied the request. J turned the wand off – I turned it right back on. J was so confused, trying to explain to me that if I didn’t move the wand, or turn it off, that J was going to come. I said no, I didn’t say you could, keep it on the right spot, but don’t you dare come.

Magic Wand back in place, J moaning, my arm working the Pure Wand into and out of J’s cunt at a rapid speed, J asked to come again, I said no again, and then…

J’s cunt clenched against the wand. J’s knees tried to close, tried to push me aside. J’s body bucked into me. Noises that make me so hot and horny came out of J. J came.

Not only did J come…J also ejactulated. Liquid, more than just lubrication, flowed onto my hand, drenching my hand, my arm, the toy and the bed. It was so incredibly hot; ejaculation is something I’ve always wanted to do, and never have been able to, so the next best thing was to give my partner that experience.

At first, J was a little concerned and confused…since all J had seen of non male bodied ejaculation was porn movies. We sat together, discussed it, watched the Nina Hartley video of it…and suddenly, J was a lot more excited about it…so excited, that soon, all of J’s roommates…and their partners…well, it seemed as though everyone knew.

It was a wonderful experience, and I’m so glad to have had it, and with such an awesome person to boot.

Now, me next!

This was always one of my favorite nude pictures of myself. It’s just so fun, relaxed, and may I please add that I think my breasts look fucking AWESOME? Cause, well, I think they do.

Having spent far too much time in the ER lately, can I mention how pissed I am about the marital status choices? Single, married, divorced or widowed. What about people (of ALL genders, sexes and sexualities) that make the choice not to get married, and are just in a long term committed relationship?

With all the emphasis on gay marriage, what about people that just plain don’t want to be married, but want the same rights as everyone else. I support “gay marriage” in that I feel everyone should have equal rights, but I don’t really support the idea of marriage in general. Why do we reward people on the ability to fall in love, and the desire to sign a piece of paper and possibly spend a lot of money…when so many people don’t care about the certificate, but only get married for the rights. Take my college friends who got married to move off campus, or people who get married for a greencard. How is marriage sacred? And why do I have to tell these damn people that I’m against the institution of marriage when all I want is my migraine to go away?

More on this later.

I <3 this so freaking much.

Am I the only person left in this world who is put off by people who type ” U R 2 Kewl” or “Das wat up!”? Because seriously, if you’re trying pick me up on myspace, or facebook, or by sending me an email…telling me ‘ur so hott i wanna bang u all nite long’ is NOT going to arouse me.

Writing using correct grammar, and preferably some sense of humor…I may not write back, but maybe I MIGHT consider looking at your profile, rather than deleting and moving on. Just saying.

That is all.

-Essin’ Em

It’s that time of the week again…

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #98? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
The Manifesto of the Cuntcentric Hedonist “I’m not being selfish, I’m being altruistic when I open my legs and offer my body up.”

No reservations, part 4 “By this time, said balls felt twice their normal size and very full.”

Sex Work And Religion: The Violent Priest “We were to seduce one of the young ladies in the church’s choir.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself JBS Underwear
Editor’s Choice The Top 10 Reasons to avoid “Pregnancy & Sex” bulletin boards

More Sugasm Join the Sugasm See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

See the rest of the posts in Sugasm 97 …

Migraines that last 5 days are sucky.

Migraines that last 5 days and result in a trip to the ER are worse.

Trips to the ER where they don’t even give you an ice pack for 2.5 hours, and you can forget about getting a blanket, or even a band-aid when you get two shots in your ass are icky.

Trips to the ER where they tell you that you have to stop taking your migraine meds and take vico-profen instead are frustrating.

But 5 day long migraine headaches that result in ER trips where they tell me not to take my normal meds, and give me strong narcotics that almost make me wreck my car when driving to work (the pharmacist told me I was OK to drive), and then cause me to repeatedly fall asleep at my desk, combined with the migraine still being there and making my so nauseous that the only reason I’m not throwing up is that I’m sniffing rubbing alcohol, and has throbbing in my head, sharp pains in my stomach, and shaking in my arms, and I can’t take more of the vico stuff because then I can’t drive home, AND I don’t know which is causing the death symptoms; the migraine or the drugs…AND I haven’t heard back from the neurologist I’m supposed to see, either about an appt or about what’s happening to me…despite a message left yesterday and one left today?

Yeah, that’s pretty fucking horrible.

I am pretty close to just wanting to die. But I have 4 more hours of work before I can. Shit.

People keep asking me via comments and emails whether J is male or female.

Because I want to write a post later on about our weekend, and our first time experiencing non-seminal/female bodied/female ejaculation, I’d like to give a little explanation.

J is genderqueer. Female bodied, but doesn’t identify as either side of the gender binary. Given this fact, I purposely don’t use gendered pronouns when writing about J. J doesn’t care which pronouns you use when talking to him, she is ok with either set of binary ones, and zie is also ok with ones “made” for transgendered people.

I usually use male pronouns when talking about J. There are a variety of reasons why…one of the main ones being that I too like to fuck with the binary. Many people view J as female (because as a society, we feel like we need to box people in, and see them as either male or female), and I want to mess with that idea. If you see someone as female, and they are then referred to with male pronouns, you usually are a bit confused, and question your beliefs about their sex/gender. I want that.

It’s also really hard for me (here is me owning my shit) to use a variety of pronouns, or constantly say “they” when I’m talking about one singular person. So I chose a set of pronouns, and male pronouns worked better for me.

Please don’t ask if J is having/has had surgery, or about hormones, etc. IT DOESN’T MATTER.

This is why I tell people I’m pansexual; I like people for who they are, and am attracted to people’s personalities…it doesn’t matter what’s between their legs.

J is not FTM…which important to note. J does not feel as though he is man. Nor does J feel as though she is a woman.

As I’ve stated, we use the word cunt for our genitals, and thankfully, J let’s me fuck, as well as be fucked. We have incredible sex…best sex I’ve ever had, and J told me this weekend that we had the best sex that J had ever had. Did that make me feel cocky, since J has had more partners than I have? Oh yes. When we’re together, I get fucked by fingers, toys, cocks. I suck cock, I lick clit, I fuck cunt. Sometimes I fuck J with J’s cock (oh, we’re screwing up the binary like nobody’s business). I top occasionally, J tops more often, and we have a lot of non-top/bottom sex as well.

I hope that explains things. Gender is fluid, just FYI, in case you missed that band wagon. Now you know. And while I may mess up in the future and use a pronoun or two, I hope that explains why I usually don’t – I don’t want to play into the gender binary. That is why.

I couldn’t ask for a better partner than J. I may not always be the best girlfriend, but I try my hardest, and wouldn’t give J up for the world.

-Essin’ Em