Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson
Are any of you dating people that are in either a significantly different age group, or point in their lives?
I’m asking because I went to visit J. this week at school…J is a sophomore in college. I was a sophomore 4 years ago, but to be honest, it seems like a lot more than that. I’m becoming an old lady! I go to bed before 11 some nights, lying in bed knitting and reading books. I never was a big drinker, so I don’t understand hangovers. I wasn’t into smoking pot. I haven’t slept in a lofted twin bed since I broke up with my boyfriend my first year of college…and haven’t had a *room* mate (as compared to apartment mate) since the first semester sophomore year.
I just feel like I’m robbing the cradle like no one’s business, even though we’re only two years apart. Not robbing the cradle even, just that we’re in very different places in our lives.
Do I want this to work? Oh yes. So much. J is the first person I can say for sure that I have loved, and the only person I’ve been with that has returned my affection at the same level. I like J a lot. I love J. I WILL make this work…or at least do everything in my power to make it work…I just wonder how much I can do. Will the difference be a gaping chasm every time I try to climb into that lofted bed, or hear J’s friends talking about balancing class and clubs? Will I become resentful of the fact that I’m working 40+ hours a week to pay the bills, and that my friends are all getting married and having babies when J’s friends are smoking up and taking hand drumming? I hope not. I don’t *think* so…but I don’t know.
Has anyone experienced this, either with someone older or younger? Or even your same age, but in a different stage of life (college vs. the working world, or parent vs. childless)? If so, do you have any suggestions? I’ve talked to J about how I feel, and assured J that it has nothing to do with us personally, just with our stages of life, and experiences, etc…I wanted to let J know my reaction because we’re honest with one another. And honestly, I will try my absolute hardest. I just need tips and advice and reassurance. And to be in J’s arms again, telling me that we’ll make it…or at least give it a damn good try. So please, reassure me. Tell me you’ve been Mrs. Robinson (or Mr. Robinson) at some point…I need some love here!
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For reference:
http://xkcd.com/314/
And J’s…what, 19? 20? How big is the actual AGE difference vs just the college/point in life difference?
Mikeatron’s 25. I’m 22 nearly 23. So there’s two and a half years right there. We’re in semi-different life places in terms of career. But it works out fine.
It was really awkward when I was dating J***, but not because of age (he was about 2 yrs older), more because he made four times my salary and was headed along a corporate career and suchlike.
Ecch, point is, I wouldn’t worry about robbing the cradle with J. Even if J’s 18, I still don’t find it strange. It’s the person you’re dating, not their age.
(rereads post) Yeah, I guess it has more to do with where you’re at in life. I think it was also weird with me and J*** because we did not share basic values. Mikeatron and I do, and are therefore much more compatible.
I have dated quite a few older women and it’s always been an interesting experience. I live in a dorm, they usually have apartments. I go to class and lounge around, they maintain jobs, careers even, and are self sufficient. I go home during the summers to my mom’s house, they continue to live usually in the city in which I’m at school. I have always found the hardest thing with an age difference is the logistical stuff, not the emotional maturity or whatever. It can definetely work but there are many moments where it feels incredibly awkward on both ends. My usual hardship is that I don’t feel like the butch/protector/dominant person since my partner is usually older and thus driving, providing, hosting, ect.
good to know that it *can* work out.
Interesting about the “butchness” aspect. I never thought about resources affecting how butch one felt, etc…very interesting. Something to think about.