Sexuality Happens

I am now on anti-inflammatories for my knee, compazine for my head, and the Z-pack for the bacterial infection inflaming all my lymph nodes. I have been to 5 different pharmacies in the last 5 days…including 2 today. I am at home drinking chai and Emergen-C like the world is going to end.

To add insult to injury, I’m on my period. I’m not supposed to be. I’m on a CBC plan (continuous birth control) due to my abnormally long and painful periods, so I only have them twice a year…but I started randomly, and I’m not even near the end of a hormonal cycle. So I’m having horrid cramps, and can’t have an orgasm to alleviate them, because orgasm = migraines coming back. And the headache center I’m supposed to go to on weds at 1pm called and left a message confirming Tuesday at 9am, and I can’t call back to check until Monday. Bah.

All I want to do is have J here with me, feeding me tea and soup, curled up around me in bed, rubbing my back, petting my hair. As much as I love my independence, sometimes I hate living alone, because when I’m sick or tired or sad, there is no one to make me feel better or offer sympathy, or turn on a hot steamy shower for me. I just feel so alone.

And all day, my left outside thigh has alternated between pins and needles, and going numb. I have no idea what that’s a sign of, but I’m not going back to the doctor or an ER unless I’m dying and am breathing my last breath. I have stab marks and bruises in all my arms and elbows and hands.

I just want to be better.

On the positive note, I’m watching Camp Nowhere, circa 1994. What a gem :) Is it bad I remember watching it when it was a new release?