Sexuality Happens

I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe Abby Lee, author of Diary of a Sex Fiend. A cross between me (quirky, fun, sex-obsessed), Bridget Jones (she says so herself) and someone just wondering around trying to get a good shag. She is indeed a girl with a one track mind.

This book is a good read. It’s a fun book that’s great for the train, the waiting room, right before bed, or while lying on your back icing your knee at physical therapy. It’s not deep, no. It’s nothing that is going to make you re-think your sexuality, and you’re not going to be able to cite it for any classes. She’s pretty vanilla and pretty straight and pretty monogamous. She’s pretty much not me in every aspect as far as those definitions of her sexuality go.

However, she’s very interesting, and she has some good things to say. More importantly, she’s British. I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading books written by Brits because their terminology is immensely more exciting then what we American deign to call English. Some words I honestly had no idea what they meant, but at least I knew what frigging meant, and she did that on a multi-weekly basis, so I was pretty much set.

Most importantly, Abby has wit. The book is humorous, and it’s my kind of humor. It’s as if Eddie Izzard grew a rack and talked about sex a lot more than he talked about lies, maneuvers and the French. I laughed quite a bit. In fact, I laughed a lot. Partially because it was quite funny, and partially because I could picture myself in many of these situations. Abby is the woman next door, trying to work a full time job, live her normal life, and oh yes, spends every waking movement thinking about sex. I’ll admit, I don’t think about penises nearly even close to as much as she does, but I do understand the worry of wondering if anyone else in the world thinks about sex even close to the same amount that you do.

In between each month (again with the Bridget Jones, this was written in a daily diary format) were slightly more intelligent Cosmo-like lists of things like “How to behave in an adult store when you’re a man next to a women” and “What things mean from a man’s stand point and a woman’s.” I really had higher hopes for these. When I say slightly more intelligent, I put the emphasis on slightly…these were not incredibly feminist, nor liberated, and they were most certainly heterosexist.

Overall, it was a fun book, and one that I will recommend; to my straight female friends. That’s fine; I have a plethora of them, and a few will be getting this for the holidays. I think that’s who it should be marketed to, and probably not full spectrum sexuality savvy queer feminist sex bloggers who eat girls who “try out being bi” for breakfast. I guess it’s my own fault. I was really hoping for someone like me. A sex fiend; check. A feminist; check. Someone who is a bit awkward; super check. But as discussed last week, about how I make my life so academic, about how everything is about being sex-positive and PC, I don’t know how I feel about some of these between the month Marie Claire-esque stylings, and I just didn’t get a lot of sex fiendishness that I was looking for. I was hoping for more discussion…her talks about how she always had multiple orgasms were great, but I wanted more self-reflection. Maybe something more about Blog Boy’s lust and then decision to pull back. The threesome with no satisfaction was a good inclusion because sex isn’t always satisfactory, but again, not enough discussion. I guess I just wanted a more in-depth look at the inner workings of the mind, the deeper ponderings of the diary of the sex fiend, and all I got was the powdered sugar coating.

So for ME personally, I give it 3.5 stars out of 5. It was a fun book to read, but I probably I not going to re-read it any time soon. However, for my less academically obsessed and psycho-analytical friends, it’s the PERFECT holiday present, and I’d guess they’d rate it a 4 or a 4.5 out of 5. Again, it just goes to show how much perfection is in the mind of the beholder. Non-straight, non-vanilla, non-monogamous and super radical sex bloggers; this may not be the ideal book for you… every one else; two thumbs up, and I hope you enjoy it (and enjoy the British language…goddess knows I did!)

If you want a copy for yourself or a friend for the non-denominational winter holiday season of joy, love and giving, go grab a copy of Diary of a sex Fiend by Abby Lee at Amazon.com or elsewhere, or read her blog at girlwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com.

That’s all I have to say on this folks,

Essin’ Em