But what bothers me is look at the sexism of it; how many times do you see a man being called darlin? or hon? or sweetie? It’s not the specific people I’m mad at per sec, it’s the social construct that it is once more ok to belittle women…well, not belittle them, but to make them smaller, sweeter, more gentle and innocent, and weaker, by calling them these gooey icky (in my opinion) names, while guys get called Sir, dude, or whatever.

Just my $.02.

And PornCrank – thanks for the comment about filling up. I never though about it as a penis in vagina. Shows you that my anti-semen sentiment is shining through…oh the bias! Thanks for making me think :)

When I say (to my significant other only) that I’m going to “fill her up” I’m generally referring not to semen, but just to penetration. That is, I’ll fill her vagina up with my penis. Or something :)

Of course, a stranger saying that to you is outrageous.

But the affection names… darlin’, sweetie, etc. I have to say that it’s usually an innocent politeness. I’ll say “dear” to a lady with nothing but respect. Of course if you hate it, you hate it, but I assure you that most people saying it think they’re just being polite — and isn’t it the intent that really matters?

but…i actually like being “darlin’ed” by complete strangers if it’s completely obvious that it is done innocently. i think it humanizes interactions (and, yes, i think that even interactions with complete strangers should have a hint of that). i realize that it’s pretty damn subjective to decide when it’s innocent (usually being old helps in my book) which is what makes it dangerous to say. but, really, the context and tone of voice always makes it pretty clear to me.

the other problem is i hate being called ma’am. i’d much rather be called ‘hon’

of course, your objection is much more feminist and easier to back up than mine, so people who care are going to err on that side, and it’s probably best that way.