Sexuality Happens

I love lube. You know I do. When I am not playing with silicone toys, I love me some Eros Bodyglide (which just so happens to be made in Germany…hmmm…die Deutsch know what is up), and when I need something silicone compatible, I love Aqua, by Pjur (um, also German. I’m sensing a theme).

I don’t think enough people use lube. Seriously. When I’m with guys, I usually have to do the whole “no, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m on anti-histamines, which means I don’t lube up as much and blah blah blah blah blah” thing to explain why I’ve busted out a bottle of the good stuff. Um…hello? It makes sex BETTER. Why the hell wouldn’t you want to use it? If I’m not lubricating, it gives me some. If I’m a little lubricating, it gives me more. And if I’m dripping, well then, let’s add some in the middle when I’m drying up so we don’t start a fire (there is a reason people jokingly call sex between lesbians a bushfire – friction with no lube = BAD). Lube = GOOD.

I use lube when I masturbate. I use lube when I finger people. I use lube (if I have it) of the flavored variety when I give blow jobs….Eden doesn’t carry it, but I have this AWESOME strawberry flavored lube by “sex tarts” that tastes like jolly ranchers, with no after taste (they also make grape, green apple, etc). I use flavored lube when I eat people out. I DEFINITELY use it when my fist is going in someone’s cunt. If we’re using toys? Out comes the water based lube. Yay lube! When we tried anal(and decided it wasn’t for us), lube was out best friend. So I just really don’t get why people don’t love lube?

I love the feeling of lube being dripped on me…sometimes my partner (or maybe I’ll do it myself) will warm it up in their hands, and then rub it on my cunt and my clit, getting my nice and dripping and slippery, ready for whatever comes next (hopefully me!). Sometimes, I like it when it’s room temp on my hot cunt. Occasionally, I’ll be tied up, and they’ll let it drip out of the bottle onto my burning clit, and it feels freeeeeeezing. I LOVE that.

Lube drying up a little (water based, not silicone)? Keep a squirt gun by the bed and reactivate it with a little shot or two of water. Less fun minded (or quirky) than I am? Spit will do the trick, a few flicks of water, anything with water. Don’t keep adding lube – it’ll just get gummy!

Anyways, why the emphasis on lube? Well, the researchers at Indiana University have decided to FINALLY do a study on women and lube. Yay! Now, the study (I just registered for it) is not the most up to date on gender issues For example, under the qualifying questions, it asked if my “gender was female.” Um. Sex is female. Gender is ________. So I give you that warning. It is a study about women, so it is not open to anyone male, and I assume that means anyone male bodied who identifies as a woman, sorry :( ***EDIT I’ve finished the sign up process, and in the background info, they do ask your gender, and the options are woman, man, trans FTM and trans MTF, so apparently they are letting people of all genders participate, so know I’m really confused*** But I still think it is a very important study, and they are looking for over 1000 participants. If you participate (it’s all done online), you get sent lube in the mail to use for the study (you do have to give them a mailing address), and if you complete the study, you get a $25 gift card, and get entered to win a $100 gift card…and you’ve helped with important research. YAYAYAYYAAY!

So, participate if you’d like.

Essin’ Em

Here’s the info:

Our research team at Indiana University is recruiting adult women (18
and older) to participate in what is, to our knowledge, the first ever
systematic study of lubricant use among women.

Many women use lubricants during sexual activity alone or with a partner
and for many different reasons including to make sex more comfortable,
to reduce pain, to reduce the risk of tearing during sex, to feel more
pleasure, because they are curious, or because their partner wants to
use a lubricant. Other women have never used a lubricant during sexual
activity that occurs alone or with a partner.

The study that we are recruiting for, the Women’s Sexual Health Study,
takes place entirely online. Women who participate in the study will
receive three bottles of water-based lubricant or silicone-based
lubricant and will be asked to use it during sexual activity that occurs
alone or with a partner, and to respond to online questionnaires about
their experiences.

Please feel free to forward this email to colleagues, friends or members
of your organization who may be interested in learning more about this
study. Women who would like to read additional information about the
study and decide whether they would like to participate can go to this
web site: www.womenshealth.iu.edu

If you have additional questions about the study, please feel free to
send us an email at cshp@indiana.edu or call 812.855.0364.

Thank you for your time.

Kind regards,

Debby Herbenick, PhD.

Associate Director, Center for Sexual Health Promotion School of Health,
Physical Education and Recreation Indiana University Bloomington, IN
47405