Sexuality Happens

Pure Wand as a weapon?

Long story short; last night, someone tried to break into my apartment, twice. I yelled at him a lot through my locked and bolted door as he tried to peer in the peephole at me (ps – that is one of the creepiest things ever), phone in hand, ready to dial 9-1-1, telling him that he’d “better fuck off before I call the fucking cops.” He finally left. I waited up an hour to make sure he was gone for good, and then took something to help me sleep. Today, I called my landlord, and went to the police station to file an official report, in case he tries to come back.

Everyone keeps asking if I have a bat/telling me I need to buy I bat.

My answer? I have a 3 lb steel dildo; The Pure Wand.

Can you imagine someone going to jail with some head wounds, and his cellmates asking what happened?

“Some feisty fat chick beat me up with her steel dildo.”

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

(Don’t worry, I also put my pepper spray that my mother gave me for channukah by the door. Granted, I’m sure she meant it more for when I’m hanging out in the city than for the “safety” of my own apartment, but hey, it’s something, right?)

Colorado = 5 months. Philly = further down upon my shit list.

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5 comments

5 Comments so far

  1. techreader January 31st, 2008 11:31 pm

    I am glad that you are safe after this minor incident, and that it went no further. You were lucky; you don’t KNOW how lucky. Let me tell you.

    IN Wisconsin, a was woman being stalked by an ex-boyfriend, who was not so sensible as the man who tried to harass you.

    It is IMPORTANT to remember that if you dial 911, you may be waiting for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

  2. whatsername February 1st, 2008 10:59 am

    Wow wtf!

    I would have called 911 even as I yelled at him I think. That’s incredibly creepy!!!

  3. Ms. Avarice February 1st, 2008 12:42 pm

    That’s awful! I think this warrants a countdown on your blog page like Sinclair has. For real, I’d be counting the days, too! Glad you’re safe.

  4. Bob February 1st, 2008 12:46 pm

    don’t forget to video said beating with/dildo – you’d make a fortune selling it to those police video shows.

    I’m glad you’re safe and he went away.

  5. lady brett February 1st, 2008 1:58 pm

    ick, glad you’re ok!

    …but that’s very “lock, stock and two smoking barrels” ;)

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