Sexuality Happens

Apparently, I only write about the negatives. I’m realizing that…I need to remember to write more about the positives.

Why the negatives? Because they stick in my head and bother me and get bigger and badder and worse and rantier until I write about them. And then I forget to write about the positives.

So, some clarifications about the last few months:

a) The break-up with J was bad because it was my first break up with someone I loved. However, J was as supportive as someone could be through the whole thing. When I had the whole ER episode, he was there for me on the phone (he was at school in NY) through the “kidneys not processing my meds” induced overdose, making sure I was ok, talking me through it. When I was upset and angry, and even when it was with him, he was there. J is an amazing person, and he’s been there for me. So even when I was upset and said angry and mean things, and was all negative, there were so many positive things as well.,

b) Philadelphia is a horrible place that is sucking my soul and giving me migraines and has racial and socio-economic issues like WOAHFUCK. I do not take that back. However, it also has yummy eggplant parm sandwiches. And um…an easily accessible airport? And….an awesome roller derby league. Ok. I tried.

c) The guy I hooked up with on New Years Eve. Re-reading that post? Yeah. I clearly needed to do a post about the sex we had (although again, he didn’t consider it sex). It wasn’t bad. I came. A lot. And I gave him head, and he had a nice cock. A very nice cock. In fact, probably my favorite that I’ve ever gone down on. But see, again, I let the negatives build up in my mind (couple that with my woah, what the hell is going on with my sexual orientation AND my why do people make such a big deal out of intercourse when there are so many other fun things to do spiels), and that’s what came out. So I really don’t want to leave the impression that I didn’t have fun – because I really did. Obviously, I need to type up a sex post…stat. Will do. Strike that bitchy post from your memories; remember, I was spending a week living with my mother…wouldn’t you be bitchy too?

d) Yesterday’s rant on darling/doll/honey/etc. To clarify – I’m more angry at the social construction that makes it ok to use terms like that to make women all sweet, and innocent and little and weak like that (how often to you call a random strange man darling at a gas station?), not at the individual people that do it. I’m just angry at sexism in general. When women no longer make $.70 to the dollar, then you can call me sweetie, and we’ll talk.

Ok, that’s it. One hot and steamy sex post, coming up.

And I’ll try to remember the positives. Think positive. positive.