Spoons (and a poll)
I like to cuddle. A lot. If I never had sex with another person again, I’d cry, and be sad, but I’d survive. That’s what my dildos and vibrators are for.
But sex toys don’t kiss. They don’t make out, and they most certainly do not cuddle.
There are many ways to cuddle:
*On the couch together while watching a movie
*With one person’s head in the other’s lap, their head/hair gently being stroked
*Lying in bed, facing each other, wrapped in each others arms
*Standing in line, with one person wrapping their arms around the other from behind
*etc, etc, etc
And then there is spooning, lying together (usually in bed), both facing the same way, called spooning because it is like two spoons in a drawer.
I LOVE spooning. So freaking much.
But here is the deal; I like to be the little spoon, the one on the inside, facing away, with my back and butt molded perfectly into my parter. I like to have their arm(s) wrapped around me, where I am held, and feel protected. I like to feel their breath on my neck. I like to snuggle on back into them. I like that I can curl up the way I like to sleep, and still be spooning.
J was ok with this sometimes, but sometimes wanted me to be the big spoon. I’m not good at being the big spoon. It feels awkward and uncomfortable to me. I don’t feel protected, I don’t feel loved. It’s weird, I know. But I’m bad at it, and I don’t like it. I don’t know which came first; being bad at it, or not liking it (hello chicken and egg), but that’s just how it is.
Maybe some people have a specific “spoon preference.” Maybe I should start putting it on my personal ads on craigslist. Maybe it should become part of my identity: I am a pansexual kinky switch femme little spoon. I don’t know.
Some people are spoon switch hitters. I was talking to a (straight) guy friend of mine, and he says he enjoys it either way; big or little spoon. That’s great for him.
I need to find someone who a) likes to cuddle, b) likes me and c) likes to be the big spoon. My life becomes more and more complicated, now that I’ve added flatware into my life.
And what the hell do you do in a threesome? You have the big spoon, the little spoon, and the…squished spoon? the middle spoon? the sandwich spoon? How do you decided who gets stuck as the monkey in the middle spoon?
This is far too much for me. I need to go back to studying for my exam for this weekend.
But before I do, a little poll (leave your answer in the comments please!)
Which spooning style do you MOST prefer?
1) I like to be the little spoon, just like Essin’ Em.
2) I like to be the big spoon, and therefore should email Essin’ Em (just kidding!)
3) I like both, and am fine with whichever my partner likes.
4) I like both, and need it to be switched up. I can’t *always* be the big spoon.
5) I hate spoons. Fork you!
6) I have another answer, and will explain.
14 Comments so far
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Hmm!
I am a combo of 2/3, but mostly 2.
2) I like to be the big spoon, and therefore should email Essin’ Em (just kidding!)
3) I like both, and am fine with whichever my partner likes.
The funny thing about being a 2 is that I am definitely more submissive, so you would think that I would prefer to be spooned, rather than do the spooning.
My ex. had a hard time sleeping; she liked me to lay my head on the small of her back, and make butterfly/spider fingers on her ass cheeks until she fell asleep. I always enjoyed that!
Ciao,
Marcello
ah, I friended, you via the internet. creepy. ay? but I will totes have platonic big spoon sleepovers/hangouts! um check your cl email.
-Amanda
#1. the little spoon like darling Ess.
Additionally, I can’t stand the lying down facing each other because i end up breathing the other person’s exhaled breath and i start getting dizzy from the carbon monoxide! stale air blechH!! Am I weird? It would be nice if I had a cool apnea mask like Rouge has, though. I think that pretty much proves my weirdness. It’s hard to cuddle in FL because it’s always so damn hot and I’m a very warm person so I can cuddle for a little while and then I get overheated and I have to roll over… Go study!
#1. I’m definitely the little spoon! A former significant other liked me to play the big spoon sometimes, and I was terrible at it.
1…3…6…
that is, i like being the little spoon best…but i’m not that picky…but i can’t sleep as the little spoon – if we’re going to bed i have to be the big spoon
otherwise, yes, i feel the same way about cuddling! i miss my platonic cuddle buddies.
This reminds me of a Good Omens quote, about the postman, looking at the bank of a river where he and his wife would picnic and spoon, “and on one memorable trip, to fork”
I tend to be a spoon switch, but it depends on the person. I like to be big spoon when Avah and I cuddle and sleep, and I like to be big spoon with boys after I do mean things to them.
It also depends on sleeping. I like to be little spoon when I sleep on my left side, and big spoon on my right.
You know, I’m thinking I actually like big spoon more now than I used to. Maybe this is tied into the ‘waiiit….I’m a top?’ revelation I’ve been having. Hrm.
i am a switch-hittin’ spoon! i like to sometimes be the big spoon, sometimes the little spoon. altho if you look at your flatwear, they’re all the same size. ;-)
mal simon and I spoon all the time. You all go the same way or the middle lies on their back and the others facing in. It can work =P
-J
I am a big spoon sorta person. I love to feel the curves of the girl press into my stomach and hips. I love to wrap my arm around her chest, belly, lay it on her thigh… touching. I desire to burrow my nose into her hair, or to find the curve of her neck, the soft skin there, and just inhale the scent of her.
Being the big spoon makes me lower my eyelids in satisfacton, and if I could purr, I would do so at that moment.
I am a big spoon girl.
#4 for me. I really enjoy both. I think I tend slightly more towards big spoonery….but at heart, I’m a switch.
I have found that my spoon preference can changed depending on the person I’m spooning with. But, for the most part, I’m right there choosing #1.
Oh, and for three in the bed? You make a sandwich – the one in the middle on their back, and the ones of each side rolled into snuggle under their arm. I find the middle person role is the equivalent of ‘big spoon’.
xx Dee
I like both. And I would adore spooning *you*. We’ll have to talk next time I’m on the east coast (wicked grin).
With the Ex, I would go to sleep as the little spoon and wake up as the big spoon with his cock in my hand. He tells me that he once tried to move my hand, to get up and pee, and I clutched more tightly in my sleep and muttered, “mine.”
I am mostly a two, I love feeling like the protector, but I’m an okay three as well sometimes. This proves difficult sometimes because I am a femme and sometimes have to undertake with my more masculine partners the battle for big spoonery. :)
I guess I would have to go with 3, switching!
I like to be the little spoon most of the time, especially with males.. but with females, I think I prefer to be the big spoon… its sorta messing with my mind that I don’t have a concrete answer. But if they tell me what they want, I’ll do that unless I’m really craving being the little spoon, then I’ll beg.
But with three, I love being the middle person/spoon… there’s so much love and I get to feel engulfed in it.