Comments on: The female "gaze"

By: Nels

Nels — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 03:27:00 +0000

There is definitely nothing wrong with a gaze, a glance, a look, a glimpse. Those moments are great to give and receive. If checking out the figure, form and beauty of someone will make you feel good for a few moments, I say go for it, but you need to know when the gaze becomes…for lack of a better word…scary.
Like today, I had to do some driving. I happened to pass a woman in her car who, in that spontaneous moment, I thought deserved a closer inspection. I looked her over while my car passed hers, made breif eye contact, and was on my way. I like to think I may have made her day, or at least part of it…

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:45:00 +0000

"women are safer than men." -lady brett

I have to say that I agree.
A woman is unlikely to plunge her hand up my skirt in the chaos of a concert because I spoke to her 8 songs ago. The man behind me last night did. That's unfortunate, but that’s the truth. Women must be aware of our safety; we are so very often prey. And yes, that means that the male gaze is assessed a high risk quotient.

Thanks for this post Essin'Em. I appreciate the insightful comments from all above too.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:44:00 +0000

By: Danielle

Danielle — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 07:34:00 +0000

I think it’s funny you mention about the gaze..
sometimes, I get that dear caught in the headlights look… and very rarely is it while I’m staring at a man. Sometimes I have to be reminded to close my mouth, I get it that bad. There’s just a magnetism about women, when they are real and confident and bold, that gets me.. bad.
occasionally I feel bad, or guilty, about it later, or even during.. but I know there isn’t much that I can do about it.. ignoring it feels just as bad, unnatural.

By: Mnemonic

Mnemonic — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 11:17:00 +0000

Hey – happened upon this blog through High Maintenance Femme’s, so I hope you don’t mind me reading/offering my two cents. It’s a very interesting post here.

As I understand it, the male gaze – theoretically at least – isn’t purely about objectification; it’s about the attitudes that attend on that. It’s actually extremely ambivalent: i.e. it’s as much about a desire for control and even a sense of unease around the object than it is about plain desire. Ideologically, the female gaze doesn’t really function in the same way. Although probably no one really gives a toss about ideology at the time, heh – but it’s still heavily ingrained.

Oh, and the gaze being returned is even more important. That way it’s no longer just a matter of ‘I’m the subject, you’re the object’.

Plus, heck, if you’re going to dress in hotpants, fishnets and short skirts, you’re kinda demanding that people take a look!

By: Bob

Bob — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:12:00 +0000

I think that, especially in this environment (this blog & it’s readers), people are not afraid of their sexuality – it is acknowledged and valued for it’s contribution to the quality of life. So – someone who is open about their sexual side isn’t automatically threatened or put off by “the gaze” of another. Even if there’s no chance to follow up the gaze (and therefore prove that there’s an appreciation of the person and not just the bod) the benefit of the doubt is more likely to be given.

I wish more of our society were that open.

By: lady brett

lady brett — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:19:00 +0000

bob – i agree, kind of.

i can only speak personally, but i certainly agree with entelle that a stare is a compliment of sorts. and i’ll take compliments from anyone ;) but (and here’s where i think you are right)
a) i am trying to attract women, so i’m more appreciative of that “gaze,” and thus probably allow women more leeway
b) women are safer than men. so even if i don’t appreciate the gaze or the follow-up, i feel it is something i can deal with or escape.

By: Essin' Em

Essin' Em — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:50:00 +0000

Bob – I agree, and that is why I asked this question. we always talk about the male gaze, but never the female gaze. I hear women objectifying women, and men, all the time.

How come female bodied people never get called on it?

By: Essin' Em

Essin' Em — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:50:00 +0000

Bob – I agree, and that is why I asked this question. we always talk about the male gaze, but never the female gaze. I hear women objectifying women, and men, all the time.

How come female bodied people never get called on it?

By: Bob

Bob — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:40:00 +0000

how many males would be given the benefit of the doubt that Essen’ Em has from these commenters? When a man is caught staring at a woman, he is automatically accused of the male gaze, of objectifying that woman. Not that men haven’t done that, especially in the past when society’s prevalent attitudes were to relegate women to 2nd class status. But still, today, men don’t get credit for appreciating a woman for more than just a sexual partner.