Sexuality Happens

This past weekend, I spent Friday evening, and all day Saturday and Sunday at Thunder in the Mountains, one of the larger BDSM conferences/conventions in the US.

It. Was. Freaking. Awesome.

Sasha Sappho was also lucky enough to attend, which was super lucky for me, since I was on crutches all weekend, and she was so kind, and carried my bag(s) around for me, helped me out, drove my car there, etc.

This is what I looked like, but with crutches:

When we got there, we checked in, and then headed over to the vendor area. OH. MY. GOD. It was phenomenal…anything kink oriented you could ever want (plus more) was available. Worse yet, they took credit cards.

We wandering around a bit, and ended up buying a beautiful nylon handled moose flogger, a box of sexy black nitrile gloves, a new wartenburg wheel (don’t know what happened to my last), my very own of that horrible annoying and painful slapper than K hit me with, and a blue synthetic cane to match my broom like thing. As I said, it was dangerous!

Because of my being on crutches, it made for an interesting dynamic with Sasha. She drove my car to the event, dropped my off at the door, carried my bags for me, got me water when I sat down, etc. In an ordinary situation, people would just think she was being nice to a poor gimp (PS, my co-workers have started calling me G-Squared, for Gimp Squared). However, in this situation, everyone made the assumption that she was my sub, and this was part of her service. Because Sasha is quite submissive, and didn’t mind (we talked it over first), we didn’t correct anyone.

I was really surprised at the amount of queer people there. I mean, at a BDSM event, I would expect (based on previous experience) to find many hetero couples, a decent number of bi women, a few transwomen, and a plethora of gay leather men. However, Thunder posted a fairly good number of queer…and that included lesbians, dykes, gender benders, bois, grrls, femmes, butches, and much more. Moreover, all the classes I took made a concerted effort to be very trans inclusive…talking about the gender spectrum, pointing out that not everyone with a cunt is a woman, etc. I was really impressed, and felt very welcome. I met a lovely boi at the Hysteria booth, and we talked both about the queer and queer kink scenes in Denver, and also about me possibly teaching classes. This was one of the first kink events I’ve been to (that wasn’t specifically queer) where I didn’t have a large number of men coming up to me, either to offer themselves to me, or to ask me to be their little girl. It was really bloody nice.

We met a really nice couple. She’s a co-owner of Self Serve Toys, which is a queer friendly, kink knowledgeable, sex-positive toy store and resource center in NM. My friend had actually told me about it last year, but I found it on my own at Thunder, and it wasn’t until the last night when I made the “ooooh, you’re THAT New Mexico sex toy store!” connection. Anyways, she’s awesome, and a bossom buddy (in every sense of the word), and her trans boyfriend is also really nice and super hot. Sasha and I had a blast talking with them (and oogling them a bit) for the rest of the weekend, and i hope to make it down there to visit, and perhaps teach a class or two for them.

Anyways, finally, after a long set of introductions at the “meet and greet,” and sharing artichoke dip and chocolate cake (to get energy!), it was time for the Friday night play party. I hobbled down the ridiculously long hall to the play space. Holy crap, they had it SET UP. It was essentially a convention center ballroom, tricked out with everything you can imagine. Dozens of St. Andrews crosses, all types of scaffolding with hanging cages, hanging crosses, pulleys, etc, a giant playground style dome for suspensions, tables, medical tables, free standing cages, benches, poles, slings, work horses, wrestling mats, etc. If you can imagine it, they had it. Plus, there was also a ‘women only” space and a “men only space,” which was really nice. At the DM station, they had everything; tons of different disinfectants and wipes, alcohol pads, paper towels, sharps containers, vinyl/nitrile/latex gloves in different sizes, hershey’s kisses, mints, condoms and tons of water stations. Everything you just might happen to possibly need.

Sasha and I walked around the dungeon, watching the various scenes. She’s never been to a kink specific space, so it was really interesting for her. We made a few rounds, sat down to watch a few scenes, and finally, decide to play (something we had negotiated before).

She’d bought a new pair of restraints, and was enjoying wearing them, so I helped her out of her bustier, and hooked her up to a St. Andrews cross in naught but her black lace underwear. I was worried, as she’d never played in public before, and had never been topped by a woman, but we re-discussed safewords, and I started by running my hands, and more specifically, my nails, all over her body. She shivered a lot. I like that. I progressed to to different sensation play; the wartenburg wheel, slightly brushing/tapping her with my synthetic broom, hitting her harder with that (until she politely informed me that she’d discovered that she didn’t like sting). Then I brought out my new flogger, and broke it in. It handled quite nicely, and so did she. I alternated the flogger, spanking, and nails down her back, punctuated with kisses, checking in with her every so often. She seemed to really be enjoying herself.

I took her arms down to turn her around, in order to get access to her breasts, but once her arms were down, she said her circulation felt funny in one wrist. Problem solved; we left the general play space, heading to the womens only space, and bent to over a bench as I continued to flog her. It was harder trying to move around, what with my ankle, but I managed. I had a tendancy to ask her far too often if she was doing ok, but hey, this is why I’m not really a top. I’m way too concerned about if they’re ok, if they’re processing alright, etc, to really let them get into the scene, or head space. I think my topping is far better done in the context of more of the bedroom, where I can tie someone up, and banter and have fun, but maybe it’s not that hardcore, or really a “scene.”

Then, once I was fairly certain that she was quite into it, and was ready for a bit more, I had her lay down on her back on a table, and close her eyes. I slapped, pinched, and just generally played with her breasts, alternating with slapping her thighs, running the wheel up and down her body. Finally, after checking in again to make sure she was still ok with it, I made her spread her legs, applied (with the beautiful snap) my black nitrile gloves, and dripped lube on her. Slowly, I worked from one finger, to two, to three, and was fucking her as she bucked off the table and moaned. I grabbed a vibe (that I’d already slipped into a condoms…I’m smooth like buttah), and pressed it against her clit. She continued to buck and moan and press against me…and then I heard a different noise. I slowly extricated myself from her, and moved up the table to be next to her. She was crying.

Ok. Of the two people I’ve topped in more of a “scene” like setting (as compared to like with J, where it was just more playful), I’ve made them both cry. Non-negotiated crys. So I stopped everything, and hopped on the table with her, and held her. I told her it was ok, and that maybe what she needed was an emotional release (of course after making sure it wasn’t something unplanned that was hurting her), and we sat like that for bit. I got her a glass of water, helped her change into one of my negligees (way more comfy that getting back into her school girl outfit), cleaned up the table, and we just sat for a bit, and then walked around a little more, meeting up with our friends from Soft Serve to chat (where she totally busted his cock out in the middle of the dungeon, and distracted me from conversation…I really want to be fucked by someone strapped on more and more…) before we decided to call it a night.

We talked in the car on the way home…Sasha told me she thinks she has an easier time being topped by men, because of social constructions around power, which I think is really interesting. I’m the other way; I’m much more ok with women and FTMs topping me, because they have experience the same type of oppression and violence in our society, and so I feel that we’re coming at it from a more understanding and equal level than an XY guy. So it was interesting. I felt like a bad person, but only for a little, and didn’t have the same amount of guilt as the last time I made someone cry.

I was talking to K about it, and he suggested that because I’m a more emotional person, I bring out more extreme emotions in my bottoms…making them confront things that make them uncomfortable. Again, something interesting to consider. Or perhaps, I’m really not meant to top people :) Either way, it was an interesting scene with Sasha, and I have to say, I love wielding that flogger!

Once home, Sasha crashed on my couch, and I hopped into bed for a little quality time with my Hitachi before falling asleep…we didn’t get home until 2ish, and had to be up at 8am to make it back to the hotel for the 9:30am classes.

And that was Friday :)

-Essin’ Em