Z – What is ABIP?

I think as liberal thinkers we can hairsplit ourselves into corners because broadbrush distinctions reek of racism, sexism, and a few hundred other examples of overzealous categorization. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with the concept of applying a selection criteria itself-it has to do with applying it overeagerly, inappropriately, and with cruelty. Regulating access to a job based on race is clearly of no use and wrong-applying statistical conclusions about the effect of heart medications on people of different races is clearly good sense.

Biology has a similar problem, in that no one can exactly say what a species is. You can’t look at a lineage and find a point when an animal of one species gave birth to another, or a day and hour when two isolated populations claded into different species. No switches are thrown. The fact remains, however, that creatures tend to come in related lumps that (nearly) always breed with only members of the same lump, and when they do breed outside the lump, (almost) never create lineages fertile into the indefinite future. Biologists know the boundaries aren’t razor cut, and acknowledge the boundary cases in footnotes and such, but the term ‘species’ is still such incredibly useful shorthand that it is used.

I’d say something like ‘lesbian’ is a similar case. I call myself ‘straight’ but contained in that term is no mortal opposition to a theoretical male partner, or that every human being being I’ve ever eyed could be guaranteed to have XX chromosomes-it’s just shorthand that I am biologically male, and the odds are high that, all other things being equal, the significant majority of the partners I would consider pursuing romantically right now would be biological women. Nothing more political or ontological than that.

That got long fast. Rant off. ;-)

I think queer is more liberating, less confining. It leaves the door open for change. If you change your mind or find someone new that peaks your fancy, you don’t have to change your term.

But in the same regard, I think people can define themselves as lesbian as well. I think everyone needs to define themselves, and you define yourself well.

i mean, i don’t think it wildly inaccurate because although i do like some boys, i only like them a little bit, and i don’t see myself in a relationship with a guy again. also, if i do happen to date a guy in the future, i have no problem with changing my orientation/label if i need to. like, “well, i was a lesbian, but now i’m —–, and maybe in the future i’ll be something else.”

and it serves my purposes. it puts out the general “i like girls, not boys” message, which is close enough to true, and makes my life a lot easier. i kind of dislike that in theory, but it is convenient.

i love queer, though. i love the ambiguity. because, really, what could be a more accurate description of sexuality than ambiguity?

I don’t use sapiosexual as much because I don’t want to have to define it to people who don’t understand it.

I don’t use queer, because I don’t feel like I have the right. I live with my girlfriend, she’s my primary partner, and we pass in the world. We haven’t had to face the discrimination that queer folk have had to.