I statements
They always tell you to write and speak in “I statements,” so as to “own your own shit” (as a former classmate once said), and to really focus on what I need, I feel, I think, rather than assumptions.
F is amazing. F makes me feel. I cry in front of F. She’s only the second person I’ve had sex with that I’d really cried in front of. The other night, we had a kind of deep talk that involved a lot of emotion for me. And some crying and tears.
So here are some of my I statements.
*I know that my past experiences color my view on things
*I have been hurt a lot in the past by people cutting me out of their life
*I know on many levels that no matter what happens, F will not do that to me
*I am scared on some deeper levels that she will…even though that isn’t like her at all
*I trust F more than I’ve trusted almost anyone in my life, aside from my two best friends
*I panic about these kinds of things really easily
*I over think things way too much, all the bloody time
*I need to work on just letting things happen, not thinking, not panicking
*I appreciate F.
*I think F is one of the most amazing, safe, open minding, growing, witty, funny, amusing, talented, awesome people I’ve ever met, and I’m honored to have her in my life.
*I LOVE the sex we have. Hottest sex of my life…over and over and over.
*I am so happy I’ve found someone where the open relationship thing is really ok. And I think it’s hot to watch her kiss other people, PS.
*I am going to stop making these statements, because I think I’m over thinking things again.
But just for posterity, I am, right now, am so happy. We may be very different, I may be having to learn new things, accept new things, change some of my ways of thinking about things, but I can say that am so happy with this aspect of my life. And I am NOT going to run away this time. I promise myself that. Because I am happy, I am getting what I need, and I am now done with I statements.
-Essin’ Em
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[...] I statements(10 October 2008) They always tell you to write and speak in 8220I statements,8221 so as to 8220own your own shit8221 as a former classmate once said, and to really foc… [...]
Good for you for seeing what’s in front of you and appreciating it, or at least trying very hard to appreciate it, instead of sabotaging it by worrying all the time. Things will go the way they go and even if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, well then at least you can take solace in knowing that while it was good, you truly enjoyed it for all it was worth. That’s the goal – to just really live the good stuff.
What’s weird is reading this and then reading your twitter acct. I know you post early here, but on the twitter account it sounds like things aren’t necessarily as great as they sound when you read the blog. I hope you’re okay!
I think those are great “I” statements. <3
Randi – A lot depends on the moment. Like with L last night telling me to put my shirt on, yes, frustrating, so I twittered it, but then we talked about it. Twitter is things I’m feeling at the moment….the blog is me thinking things through and posting.
Last night, I broke down and cried in front of/with/about F on a street downtown. If I had twittered at that moment, it would have been about hating life and wanting stuff to just freeze. Then we talked. Today, I feel much better. Twitter is in the moment, the blog is more processing :)
I too think those are great I statements. Owning your shit is an important part of processing. I think if one can be honest about one’s own issues, it’s easier to separate them from the problem at hand, and easier to see what needs to be solved.