Sexuality Happens

People ask me a lot about my body alterations, my tattoos and piercings. So here you go, my explanations!

I have four tattoos.  And seven piercings. I used to have eight when I had my clitoral hood pierced, but we all remember that and some of the drama that it brought. Ergo, it is SOOO gone.  Most of my body work has marked a significant step in my life.  Although I am more liberal with my piercings (they’re a bit more removable than tattoos), I don’t just randomly get them.

I got my ears pierced the first time when I was 14 and a half.  I wasn’t allowed to do it until I was 13 (”If it’s good enough for Chelsea Clinton, it’s good enough for you” - My Mother), and then once I could, I was nervous.  I did research on places, waiting until I was really ready and wanted them, used titanium posts (not common at the time), and got them done.  Voila.

My second set of lobe holes came when I broke up with the Asshole my senior year of college.  I guess break up is the wrong word. Got in a huge fight over the movie Rocky, which then turned into him telling me he didn’t believe sexual assault existed, that rape was only done by strangers, that what happened to me was not sexual assault but just “an unfortunate circumstance,” that domestic violence was only physical and never mental, emotional or threatening, etc.  I think I threw the DVD box or something at him, and left to go cry in the ally behind his building. I was so upset that I had had sex with someone who had those view points.  That night, I went and got another set of holes, kind of a cathartic release for my anger.  Pain dulled the anger, in a good way.

My cartilage I had done in Germany, as kind of a permanent reminder of the amazing time I had living there. My little host sister (12) went with me.  The guy kept trying to explain things to her, expecting her to translate to me, but then I’d answer him. He was so impressed that I spoke German that fluently, and asked me why I didn’t have a boyfriend. It was cute. I got it done at a little shop that had metaphysical stuff downstairs, and tattoos and piercings upstairs.  It was called Silbermond (Silver Moon), which is also the name of one of my favorite German bands.

My third set of holes I got done in Pennsylvania, right before I flew home for my third knee surgery.  I had just finished my first semester of graduate school, and it was a reward to myself.  Hey, piercings can be a reward, right?

My first tattoo I started doodling back during my sophomore year of high school, right after my dad died.  It was a crescent moon, with a few stars, and a falling tear drop. The tear drop was the saddness in my past; my dad dying, my friend’s brother dying in Columbine, my house burning down, my cats dying in the fire, having to do my Bat Mitzvah without my dad, etc.  The moon was my present, representing both the light and dark side of life, and that you can very rarely see the entire picture in the present. The stars were my future, lighting the way.  I waited to get it done until I graduated college (undergrad), as kind of a new step in my life. Plus, I’d been drawing it for years - I was SURE this was what I wanted.  Here it is right after I got it done:

My second tattoo was a memorial to my father. He died when I was 13, and I got the tattoo on the 8th anniversary of his death.  It was a flying pig, with a banner below.  The banner is in Hebrew, and says “Aba” (which is Hebrew for daddy/father).  Pigs were my father’s favorite animal, and in general, they remind me of him. The summer before he died, we took a family trip to Europe, and we all wrote in journals. His journal had flying pigs on it.  I remember sitting in hotels and on trains, with him reading his journal entires out loud, causing us to laugh so hard we cried. His writing style was HILARIOUS, very stream of consciousness. Kind of like mine. That is why a flying pig.  It has nothing to do with pig angels or “when pigs fly.”  Not everyone gets it, but those who ask do. Here is a picture when I first got it (but the aleph is now better defined):

Then, last summer, I decided on a quotation I wanted; “Not all those who wander are lost.” (From Lord of the Rings…why yes, I am a nerd!).  Originally, I wanted to get it on my foot…and then I broke my foot.  I was trying to decide whether to wait and get it done on my foot, or keep my appointment and get it done else where.  And then, oh OCD person that I am, I realized that if I got it done under my first tattoo, it would be more even with the pig and banner.  I went with my friend on the release of the 5th Harry Potter movie (she got a Gryffindor tattoo), and my artist did it in about 25 minutes.

And then, I wanted a tattoo to celebrate my passion for sexuality. Something about sex. Something that was kind of both obvious and deep. I mean, as much as I love sex toys, I didn’t really want dueling vibrators on my back or anything.  It took me a while, and then when I was in Florida summer 2007, I saw a beautiful glass sculpture of two people embraced.  You couldn’t really tell the sex or gender of either person. I wanted something like that.  After much google searching, I found the perfect painting for what I wanted, and then my artist changed it into a tattoo.  It was my present to myself for my last semester of my Master’s degree.  It’s two people.  The front one looks slightly more feminine. That’s me. The other person, you can’t tell.  Could be any gender, any type of person. I like people.  You can’t define my orientation with any one word. Queer comes close, but that’s it.  Anyways, this ties my pig for my favorite tattoo. I LOVE it.  Here it is a few days after it was done.

So yup. That’s it (for now). I have two tattoos I want to get in the near future.  I want one that involves a combo of the gender spectrum/trans symbol with the feminist fist. I also want to get my Femme spiral (I am totally doing this, PS).  I just have no money (but please, feel free to donate to my rent and body art fund on your right!). I also have a gift certificate for a piercer, and want to get a double eyebrow piercing, but have to wait until I get a job first, because the hair is easy to dye, but I don’t want to take piercings out.

There you have it. Story of my life :)

-Essin’ Em