Comments on: When is “You Turn Me On” Not a Compliment?

By: Miscellaneous Sex

Miscellaneous Sex — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:19:58 +0000

I was trying to explain this to a friend of mine recently, and it was very difficult. I spent a weekend with a good female friend and her male partner where he constantly complimenting me on how sexy I was. Now we’re all polyamorous, so there’s no issue there. But I’ve never so much as hinted that I was interested in him, and this weekend I was very clear that I was taking a break from sex in my life. I could have understood one or two compliments…but bringing my sexuality up every hour felt demeaning to me. Neither one of them could understand why it was bothering me since he intended it to be polite and respectful.

~ MS

By: miss avarice

miss avarice — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:36:59 +0000

Agreed on all points.

By: Roland Hulme

Roland Hulme — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:01:55 +0000

I have never understood guys who just go ON and ON and ON even after they’ve been politely rebuffed.

Is there a percentage of girls who eventually get worn down and surrender to the inevitable? Or are these guys just completely clueless and never get any?

Back when I was single, if I chatted up a girl and she wasn’t interested, I like to think I’d back up, change my tack completely and just get chatty and friendly. Even if, deep down, it was because I really, really liked this girl and hoped that she would learn to see my attractive qualities in a non-threatening friendship and finally come around to realising how perfect we’d be together.

But that sort of long-term planning doesn’t work in a bar or a club. But, then again, the girls I was always attracted to were generally worth an extended campaign. And even if i never got anywhere with them, the whole reason I found them attractive in the first place is because they were awesome and isn’t it always great to have awesome friends?

By: Panthera Pardus

Panthera Pardus — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 12:14:58 +0000

You hit the nail on the head; too much of a good thing can be bad.

A local guy (*coughstalkercough*) I know told me over IM that he wanted to ask me out on a date. When I told him that I was flattered but that I wasn’t interested in dating right now, he said “Oh, okay.”. Soon after (couple of weeks), he said “Boy, I sure wish I could date you”. Odd turn of phrase, but I politely ignored it. This went on once every couple of weeks for a good while, with me either ignoring or flat out saying thanks but no thanks.

Finally he asked if he could come over so he could ‘practice his oral sex skills’. At this point, the ‘block’ button got hit without another word. We were not friends, we were acquaintences; we’d met maybe three times two years ago in a non-sexy way. He probably had technically crossed the line long before, but when it moves from awkward but flattering to downright creepy and in your face, that was it.

I have even less patience with strangers on the street.