Comments on: Sick

By: Nadia

Nadia — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:48:54 +0000

I wish I lived near you. I can relate to this post in so many ways (from the frequent illnesses to the mother who can’t be bothered to do her job). *hugs* *sends you virtual vegetable soup*

By: Jerry

Jerry — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:55:06 +0000

awwww, wish I was there to do those things for you….*huggers*.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:49:11 +0000

Wow. I really relate to you on a number of levels. I was just talking to my boyfriend about this last night. He’s an FTM, and I remember one of your exes (maybe L is one too). Anyhoo…I have what you call “daddy issues.” So it’s really important for my partner to protect me from the world, myself, etc. I’ve gone to a lot of hospitals on my own but for different reasons. I went to college in Florida, and my parents were 18 hours away in Texas, so instead of them hopping planes, interrupting their lives to come tend to me, I had other people in the area fill in the gap. Friends and people I went to church with were kind enough to step into those parental shoes when I was 19, scared, and far far away from home. I thank God every day for their love and support of me. I didn’t know how to ask, but they did it for me anyway.

Your mom sounds a lot like my dad. He’s the type of person who thinks I’m super competent and invulnerable to the world. What he doesn’t know is, the opposite is true and when I needed him to step in and be my father (when I was a teenager, in a gang, huffing rubber cement in a bag) he was emotionally available? Why? Because he was on drugs. But I didn’t know that until much later.

Now I’m an attorney and he has the nerve to brag on my accomplishments while denying that he is in any way responsible for me being a fucked up individual emotionally. That’s my baggage. But your blog speaks to me in a real way. And I thank you for telling your story because a lot of people feel the way you do.

It’s okay to ask for help.
None of us are impervious to the outside world, sick, healthy or otherwise.
Having support is a big deal and if F cannot step up to the challenge, maybe you should reconsider. (I don’t know her or the dynamics of your relationship. That’s just my humble opinion.)

Be blessed and get well.

By: lalana

lalana — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:15:50 +0000

Why is it that those of us most willing to help others can’t ask for help ourselves? I’ll go out of my way for anyone, but have few people close enough to me that would do the same… and I think part of it is the same as your experience with your mother. You ask, and get shot down… eventually you get so used to it you become afraid to ask anymore. Sometimes people surprise you, though… it’s just a matter of working up the courage to put yourself out there and risk the rejection.
And NO, asking here where no one can really say yes doesn’t count, though I’m sure many (myself included) would if we could :)
lalana

By: N

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:52:52 +0000

Hi Em, new reader to your site and new fan! I completely here you, I’m always calling myself “Mama Maternal” as i take care of everyone else but not always myself. I know how hard it is to ask, i struggle with that myself.

You deserve your soup, your tea and snuggles…i really hope whoever it is your asking, replies!

By: Molly Ren

Molly Ren — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:45:15 +0000

This is why I read you, ‘Em: you have a lot of the same problems that I do, but you write about them when I try to keep mine under the rug.

I have the same view of myself as “always alone”. I’m always by myself at the movies, I’m usually alone when I go out to eat, I have lots of online friends but I don’t know my neighbors. When I was in college, I had crazy viruses too (though not as bad as yours.) Once I ended up being so dehydrated I had to go to the ER by myself in a taxi…and I was there alone for something like six hours. Finally a couple friends (who I didn’t even think of as my best friends) called my cell, came by with crackers, held my hand, and helped me home. I hadn’t been to class that day and they had wondered where I was.

It made me think about who my friends were, but it also puzzled me: how can I be in college for four years, with M. in another state, and not have someone to call when I’m sick? Sometimes I’m sure it’s because I don’t fit in, and people suck…other times I’m sure I’M the one who sucks, if no one wants to reach out to me. Sometimes I think it’s because I’m just too cautious when it comes to people.

When you were writing about your lack of job and money, tho, I remember thinking: where the heck is F., that she loves so much and thinks is her support? Does F. not know about all these problems? But F. seems to be the chick you hang out with the most…so ask, ask, ask, ‘Em! Ask for help! Even if you think she’ll say no. ‘Cuz even tho I haven’t figured out how to have a “support system” yet, I know that’s the first step to trying to make your own. And the thing is, we all need one, so no matter how hard it is to ask, we need to figure it out.

By: Beautiful Dreamer

Beautiful Dreamer — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:19:30 +0000

If I was there.. I’d bring you those. & a giant hug. Feel better. :/

By: Roland Hulme

Roland Hulme — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:55:18 +0000

“I was hit on the bridge of my nose with a boomerang at Temple when I was three…”

Wha… How…? Boomerang? In Temple?

Forgive me, an ignorant gentile, for wondering, but how on Earth does that happen? And how can you write such a thing without expanding on it?

By: trish

trish — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:57:34 +0000

Well, if I were there I’d make you a big pot of veg soup(but seasoned with cornedbeef, sorry)and bring it to you. I’m in GA,but I hope you feel better soon.