Sexuality Happens

As we all know, I love sex toys. A lot.  A lot a lot in fact.  However, I also really like porn, especially good queer porn.  And this night, this night o’ Christmas Eve (Erev Christmas, as the Jews would say. Or at least the Jews in my family do), I have decided to give you a review of a freaking amazing, sexy, salacious, dyke-a-delic porno. 

You may glance at me quizzically.  No, I am not talking about the Crash Pad Series. No, nor am I talking about Good Dyke Porn. Not even am I talking about NoFauxxx.com. Although of course, you can find hot queer porn at all of these places.

My friends, let me introduce you to Madison Young. She is queer, she’s kinky, she makes really hot porn that she stars in, and now, for our (at least my) viewing pleasure, she’s put together a steamingly sexy porn movies with some of the hottest queer people around.

Please, let me introduce you to Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco.

This movie features some of my favorite stars (many of which are seen in other queer movies), such as Jiz Lee, Shawn, Carson, Lorelei Lee and of course, Dylan Ryan. Amazing line up, if I do say so myself.

My favorite two scenes of the movie are the first and second (possibly because my first time watching it, we made it through the first two enjoying them, and about halfway through the third scene, with Shawn and Carson, we wound up starting to make out, and then ended up getting into a super hot n’ heavy spanking scene, and missed the last scene and a half. I had to re-watch it…poor me :)  

The first scene has my porn crush of all time (yes, Jiz has now surpassed both Nina Hartley, AND Nina from Working Girlz), Jiz Lee.  Scene opens with the monkey bars, and Jiz is doing things on them that make me thing really naughty and inappropriate things. I mean, monkey bars…and sex? Bad Essin’ Em.  But then it follows Jiz to a picnic blanket, and there we find Lorelei Lee…with Jiz. And a camera. And strawberries. Cue hot public sex park fucking.  New fantasy for me…not much of one for sex in the grass, but with Jiz Lee, I’d do anything! (Edit to save myself from awkward questions: No, I wouldn’t break my hard limits, obviously)

Cut to next scene. Shawn. Oh, Shawn. F is deeply, deeply, deeply in lust with Shawn. While I personally have a bigger crush on Jiz Lee, I certainly have Shawn in my dream/fantasy cast as well (Jiz, if you’re reading this, I’m doing the awkward turtle hand motion right now. Maybe the awkward snail too, but that looks like I’m fisting my hand…). 

Anyways. Picture Shawn, who is super hot period…in a MECHANIC’S JUMPSUIT. Ok, if you didn’t come a little right there, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.  Enter lots of hot fucking, including really cute little oil/dirt smudges all over Shawn as the two of them (Lorelei is also in this scene) fuck like monkeys in a motorcycle garage.

The next scene is hot too, in a tattoo shop. Three words for you; Black. Latex. Gloves. Did you get wet when I said that? Cause I’m getting wet just thinking about it.  Shawn comes prepared to be tattooed by Carson (um, with PS, the sweetest line I’ve ever heard in porn; Shawn wants a broken and sewed up heart tattooed, and Carson asks if Shawn is sure.  Shawn: “It’s already been done.”  Cue “awwww….” Seriously. We both said it)…and when I say comes prepared, I also mean strapped on.  Mmmmm.

Last scene needs no explanation. Dylan Ryan, one of my favorite Femme queer porn peeps, and Jiz Lee, my favorite genderqueer, super sexy, hi I want you in my bed queer porn peep. Together. In Trouble’s (from NoFauxxx) bed. Fucking. End. Of. Story.

So go out and get this film. Really. It’s one of the best porn MOVIES (as compared to scenes, like Good Dyke Porn and Crash Pad) I’ve ever seen. And as I’ve seen more than a thousand films, I think that says something. Just saying.

Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco. Get it. Love it. Come a lot.

-Essin’ Em