Comments on: Types of Attraction

By: StacyCat

StacyCat — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:43:53 +0000

I have several distinct patterns when it comes to who I am attracted to. And, many of those patterns were very bad for me. So, now, I can recognize many of those and work through them.

So, some patterns may change on their own, some you may have to work to change. Find the ones that work best for you.

By: Champagne and Benzedrine

Champagne and Benzedrine — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:18:30 +0000

When I met my wife, I was attracted to her physically in the way you describe – but I also learned to be attracted to her as a friend. Even if we weren’t lovers, I’d want her in my life because I like and admire her. That friendship has helped our relationship survive when the passion has wavered for one reason or another.

By: Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:24:54 +0000

I seem to always be attracted to anyone who is UNAVAILABLE: older married men, attached straight women, wtf, there is something about breaking the TABOO that really engages my mind, spirit & libido…

By: Heavenly Sinful

Heavenly Sinful — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:04:22 +0000

Yeah, I think what attracts you DOES change over time. I think it happened to me rather early. I met my husband online – and ended up falling in love with his mind (for lack of a better term) before I even knew whether I would be physically attracted to him or not. Funnily enough, I was, even though he was the exact opposite (physically) of what I would have considered my “type.”

But Amy’s right – when you find that balance between what you need in AND out of the sack, that’s when you get a good, long-lasting relationship. Unfortunately there’s no telling WHEN you’ll find it.

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 17:50:20 +0000

Hmmm I wish I had something helpful to say. To be honest, I had a completely different problem and that’s not feeling remotely attracted to the men I dated. For a while I thought there was something wrong with me, that I was asexual or something (except for how much I was masturbating.) Until I met my current bf, who I wanted pretty much as soon as I sat down with him in a dark theater.

Granted, I’ll allow that there was one or two guys that, after knowing them for a few months, I was somewhat attracted to, but not insanely hot for. The way I feel about the guy I’m with now doesn’t even compare. But we have a pretty sustainable relationship too, at least so far. We’ve been together almost 8 months.

But, and this is just an opinion, I think it’s a combination of things. I think it’s attraction, age, timing, and life philosophies that all work together to make a relationship stable or not. One guy I dated I did find myself becoming attracted to, but he didn’t talk very much. He was a good listener. But after 3 months I didn’t even know what his favorite color was. Whereas the guy I’m with now, we laugh and talk all the time. Even when we’re not together we’re talking on IM or on the phone. It’s just little things.

And just because you find someone hot, doesn’t mean they’d be a good partner. Or just because someone fits you emotionally, doesn’t mean you’re attracted to them physically.

I think you need to find a balance between that which you find emotionally conducive to a relationship and that which is sexy. Wish I could be more specific, but I AM a total stranger on the internet ;)