Sexuality Happens

By now, most of you have read about, or at least heard about my concept of the Femme Spiral, mostly written about on the Femmes Guide to Absolutely Everything.

It is visibility. It is validation. It is physical proof of belong to such a strong and powerful group of women, queers, dykes, and more.

It’s bigger than I had planned on, but I’m glad. My first tattoo (the moon, stars and tear drop on my left shoulder) is the one tattoo I wish I’d done bigger…but I have no regrets on the others. I don’t want any of them smaller.  My mother took one look at it and said “I thought you said you could cover it with a large watch!” That had been the plan…but the artist drew in onto my wrist freehand, and as it wound into this, it was perfect.

Like my other tattoos, people let their own ideas, experiences, and more color what they see.  My first inital starts with an S (which is funny when people call me Ess’), and some have asked me if that’s what it is.  Others have asked me if it’s a crest of sorts. I keep waiting for someone to ask if I have a wrought iron fetish, as the curves in this are similar to the wrought iron at the base of my people embracing on my back.

It’s not any of those. It’s a mark that I am Femme. 

Now, granted, as many people have pointed out, it’s not going to work as intended (to be a slightly secret “ps, I’m a queer Femme” sign) unless other people get it, and unless people learn about it, and know about it. I have explained it to countless people, and at least in Denver, so few queer, lesbian, etc people even know about the blue stars, so this spiral may take a bit. That’s ok. Movements start somewhere…and while infinitely small to me, this IS a movement.

Some people tattoo latin quotes on them, things they live by. Others tattoo important dates. Clubs, gangs, matching tattoos between friends and lovers, etc.  I’ve seen more astrological signs than I can count. I know absolutely shit about astrological signs (other than that I am apparently not supposed to be with Aries…and that I’ve dated two of them)…so getting a Sagitarrius symbol on my body would be silly.  I don’t really identify with that. But I DO identify with Femme. This is who I am. While I didn’t always know the term for it, I have always been a Femme, despite not always in the stereotypical definition of what that means.

So behold my newest tattoo, my Femme Spiral. You know, maybe no one else will ever get one…and that’s ok too. I do this for me, for my identify.  Because just as I am connected with my father every time someone asks me about the flying pig on my back, and I am able to tell them about what a wonderful person my father was, now every time someone asks me about the spiral on my wrist, I will be able to tell them about me, my identity, and who I am.

And that, my dear readers, is all.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday,

-Essin’ Em

PS! I have Crash Pad (and Pink and White…and UltimateSurrender.com…and WiredPussy.com…and Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco) star Shawn, aka Syd Blakovich on my radio show tonight. It’s on Radio Dentata at 9pm EST/6pm PST. If for some reason you miss it, tomorrow (Friday), you can hear it at 9pm EST/6pm PST and 3am EST/Midnight PST. Shawn talks about being visibly queer in the porn world, her and Madison Young’s adventures at the AVNs, being a lover and a fighter (literally – she is a mixed martial artist), having on-screen sex with real life partners and much more. Make sure you tune in!