Sexuality Happens

I feel like I’m really bloody good at finding the kink in people, and bringing it out.

It actually really reminds me of the monologue I’m doing this year for the Vagina Monologues (I’m doing “The Woman Who Loved to Make Vagina Happy”).  She talks about “finding the moan” in other women. She makes love to moaners, finding a place deep in them, and surprising them with their moaning. She makes love to moaners, and helps them to find a deeper, more penetrating moan.

Q and I have been hanging out a lot.  I remember one night, when I was driving her home, I asked if she liked to be bitten…she told me she hadn’t ever been bitten. As we’ve continued to hang out and chat, I began to see the kink in her. It was there, it was SO there, I just, like F, like Sasha Sappho, like L, needed to bring it out of her.

It started with the Babeland Massage Candles. I ask her if she’d help me review them with me, and she so gratefully acquiesced. I poured the warm wax/oil onto her back, rubbing it in.  She liked the feeling of the wax dripping onto her, as did I when we switched places.  We chatted a bit about kink…I showed her my lovely bruises from playing with S (she’s a former rugger, so she can appreciate bruises with the best of them). Finally, we made it into her bed room (I can’t remember how I got her into there…but I got her into there for sure).

I made her lay back….I alternated between kissing her, biting her, nipping her, and leaving deep scratch marks all across her skin. I love to mark people up (consensually, of course). I love biting into them as their back arches off the bed. I love scratching them as they can’t decided whether to move their body away from me, or push it further into me.

And then, I discovered her nipples.  They were perfectly and deliciously sensitive, but they could also take so much. She moaned as I bit them, scratched them, twisted them, pulled them. By now, she was dripping wet, and I just kept playing with her, teasing her, making her wait.

It went on for almost two hours. Yes, I teased her, tempted her, tortured her for two hours.  Her skin had beautiful marks all over it, her nipples were so hard and incredibly tender to the touch. I just ran my hand over her, and she would shiver. And when she came, she came hard, and it was almost beautiful to watch.

Since then, we’ve played more, and had more sex.  She’s perfect for me – I can laugh and say silly and odd things, and she hasn’t run away yet. I tried spanking her and hitting her with various things…a paddle, a slapper, a acrylic broom. I’ve tried clothespins and other clamps. She likes my hand on her throat. She let’s me slap her face and shove my hand into her mouth and pull her head both towards and away from me. She let me tied up all her limbs as I fucked her. Hard.  She’s a whole lot of fun.

I’ve found her submissive side. She even told me that, how she feels so incredibly submissive when she’s around me, when we’re naked, or lying in bed.

Right now, she’s a bottom. The other day, we lay on the couch watching Champion…both of us incredibly turned on (she has a pornstar crush on Dallas…adorable!). We lay there, my head resting on her chest, as she scratched my head, petted my arm, and purred, occasionally nipping her.  I was a kitty, and she was taking such good care of me. I mentioned kitty play, and we talked about it.  Her thoughts? “So, with puppy play, usually the puppy is the sub, and the owner is dominant, right? But with kitty play, clearly the kitty is the dominant, and the owner is the sub, yes?”  And it made perfect sense as I stretched across her lap, reaching up her shirt to leave a few claw marks.

So she’s a bottom. But I see the dominant side in her as well. The hints of toppiness, the snippers are snark – they’re there. I feel how hard she bites my nipples, I love how hard she holds me down.  I WILL bring it out in her…it may take a while, but she’s a switch, I can feel it.  

F came to me in the beginning for me to top her, to show her how to play, to let her in to the world of BDSM.  Only a week or two later, she was running knives on me, controlling my orgasms, leaving handprints on my ass, and forcing me to come until I couldn’t breath.

L once told me that she thought she might want me to force her to have sex with her.  And then, the other day, L told me that she wants to learn how to be dominant. I put my offer on the table. I wonder if she’ll bite.

I find the kink in people. The top, the bottom, the switch, the unknown. I find the kink, and I bring it out. Sometimes quickly, sometimes over time, and sometimes without even meaning to. And I love it.

-Essin’ Em