Sexuality Happens

I met Q when I was teaching my strap on 101 class at Hysteria, back in December. She had come with a group of queer women, all grad students at a local university (key word: grad…I’m not doing the college student thing again, don’t you worry!).  After the class, they invited me over to one of their houses, where we hung out, chatted, played pictionary, smoked a hookah, and you know, chilled. I tried to flirt with Q, I even played the question game, which in the past, has brought me much success.  No luck.

A week or two later, the same group went out dancing. My goal was to attempt to seduce, or at least be seductive towards Q. I busted out all of the Femme moves I knew (minus the high heels). First, I didn’t know where we were going…she started to give me directions, and I looked confused.  She paused, and offered to ride with me. Now, I have a map of Denver in my glove compartment. I *could* have figured it out, but see, this way, we could chat.  Once there, I put my purse in the trunk…AND my jacket.  Because then I shivered, and she offered me her coat. I’m trying here, I’m trying. I bought her a drink. I tried to dance with her.  When we left, she offered me her coat again…and this is when it came into play, because then I could offer to drive her back, since you know, I was wearing her coat.  I got her back in my car, and drove her to a late night pizza place (we’d shut the club down, but there is a yummy NYC pizza place open till 3am). Nyet.

Then, we went for coffee. We talked for a long time…two, two and a half hours. Ok. Good sign. Then later that weekend, we went and saw Slumdog Millionaire (amazing movie, PS).  During the movie, there was less touching than any movie I’d ever attended with someone else before…so I was like “ok, not interested in me.” But then we walked around the area, and there was an outdoor rink, and she told me we could go skating sometime. Ok, interested in me.  Then we walked for a bit, and I was the one that wound up linking arms because I was cold. Not interested. Then I suggested tea, and she went with me. Interested. Then she walked me toward my car, we said our good byes, and she turned to go. “What, I don’t even get a peck on the cheek?” (keep in mind that we’d kissed briefly before).  She walked back, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Ok, definitely NOT interested.

Then there was the Doll Ball (the roller derby formal). I was supposed to go with F, but then shit went down. So I was supposed to go with my friend, but she called out sick about three hours before. EVERYONE brings someone to this (date or not), so I called up Q and asked her if she wanted to go with me. Luckily, her best friend from college is the girlfriend of one of the players, so she was actually kind of excited about going. I picked her up, we went, I think we both had a really good time. She actually held doors for me, walked me to my car to put money in the meter, got my coat…and helped me into it.  THIS is the kind of chivalry I like. I went to drop her off, and asked if I could use the bathroom…so I could come in. And I did, and we hung out for a little, chatting, playing with her cat, and then I left, and she walked me out to the car.

The other night, I stopped by after dinner, and we each had a cup of tea (seriously, a woman after my own tea-lovin’ heart), and talked again. I love talking gender theory, social constructions, etc…and I have had a lot of trouble find people in Denver who I can talk about these things with…so that was really nice. I asked her if she wanted to help me test out these Massage Candles I needed to review, and we set a date to do so…I know, I’m smooth like chunky peanut butter.

More to come…including me. Wink wink.

-Essin’ Em