Sexuality Happens

Holy heck, that title had a lot of apostrophe’s!

Following in Amber’s footsteps, I’ve decided to give you a quick and dirty post about all of the letters (and come names) you will find in my blog. Some of them have been in my life, and are no longer (or are no longer an active part of my life), others you’ll read about currently. So voila; the Key to Essin’ Em, and her semi-love, more kink and sex life. It’s KIND OF (kind of being the operative part) in chronological order. Let me know if I’m missing anyone.

Q - Updated: Q is my primary partner, the love of my life, the daddy of my kitties, my rock and so much more.  We live together in a 2-bedroom condo in Phoenix, AZ. She’s really smary, witty, sweet, caring, nerdy and awesome. I met her at the Strap On workshop I taught at Hysteria in December 2008. Hot damn if she doesn’t fuck me well…she does fuck like a siberian tiger. And when I can’t move and am in so much pain, she brings me pills and ice packs and lies in bed with me stroking my hair. I love her more than words can say.

F - F and I were primary partners. We were together most of fall and winter 2008. She and I had gone to HS together, but not really been friends…we re-met when I was on a date with L, and really hit it off. She started out as a total submissive who hadn’t gotten to play before, but morphed into an excellent switch. We had a lot of kink play, from bondage to edge play to breath play, spankings, caning, orgasm control, forced orgasm. For all of our other issues, we connected really well during sex, had good sexual communication, and fucked good and hard for hours.  Like more than two dozen orgasms at a time.  Also, the first person who has fisted me.  We’ve since broken up. However, as the Denver dyke scene is very tight, and the Denver kink scene is close knit, and we’re both kinky dykes, we ran into each other a lot, and we’re cordial.  She is now in AA, which I really support her for.

Ms. S – Local Denver Domme who owns a dungeon, and is hilarious and a ton of fun to play with. She’s the one who did fire cupping and some violet wand play with me. I like her a lot as a person. She also teaches at Hysteria. She jokes about being a creepy old lady playing with people in their 20s, but I feel much more comfortable her than I do with lots of kinksters my age.

S- A long time crush, interesting person with deep thoughts and lots of fun overall. We had some fun and amazing sex when I was in SF, and other fun and adventures. First (and only) person I ejaculated with, and there were other firsts. A really fun, really enjoyable and completely satisfying experience.

Miss P and Miss D – Friend of mine who have now become very good friend’s of F.  Both are part of a local female domination house, and I’ve played with both. I kind of feel weird now, since we played when F and I were together, and now they play with F, and Miss D and F shot a kink set (porn) for a site together, right after F backed out on me for CrashPad. So yeah. They’re really nice and fun though.

L – L is the lovely woman I met and hit on at the DMV the first week I was back in Denver, channeling Sinclair to be forward and slightly suave. We went on a few dates (she’s the one I broke my foot with), and then actually, on the same date where I met F, she told me that she wasn’t ready to be dating people. We’ve become really good friends, and hang out a lot. I’m in the midst of perverting her (and the lady she’s currently dating…who went to HS with my sister…oy) – she likes fire and electricity play now, and is totally a switch…I just don’t know how much she knows it. I really want to play with her at some point, but that remains to be seen.

M - Turns out M and I knew each other for a hot second in HS (M was a freshman when I was a senior, but we met briefly through a friend), and we re-met one night at the local dyke bar. M helped me to test out the Shunga Chocolate Body Paint, and we had a nice make-out session. Then I took M to a local play party, and later that night we had enjoyable sex, and interesting/awkward conversation (such at the whole “My anus is bleeding!” interaction). M is now engaged, and M’s finace is really nice and adorable. We still talk, and I just got Kate Bornstein’s book My Gender Workbook back, which M had borrowed.

Sasha Sappho - Sasha and I went to middle school together, and have reconnected. She’s currently in NY, but will hopefully come back when she graduates college in May. We played at Thunder in the Mountains last year, but otherwise, are just really good friends.

KW - KW stands for Kinky Whore (by her own choosing). She was a good friend who I had made in Philly who screwed me over and completely cut me out of her life, really hurting me. That’s all.

C – I met C through a friend of mine in Philly who used to be a pro-domme, and was involved with Roller Derby. We hung out a few times, chatted, danced, etc…and in the week before I left Philly to move back to Denver, we had two amazing nights of fun, enjoyable, really connective sex. We talk occasionally on the phone, but not that often.  Amazing person.

K - K is…well. He’s intense. He’s smart. He’s interesting. He’s fucking hot. He’s…well, he’s K. I met K when I interviewed him as my replacement for my position at EdenFantasys when I left.  Biggest lust crush ever. I would have let him do pretty much anything to me.  I tried to flirt, and failed mostly, as usual.  We finally got to play at the Submit party in NYC and it was an absolutely blast.  He also made me cry when I really needed to and couldn’t.  We still talk on G-chat regularly, and he was helpful in talking to when Athena died. We hung out and he hit me (in a good way) when I visited NYC in May 09. A very cool person, and I’m glad he’s in my life. He’s also a FTM Pro Dom.  Email if you’re interested in sessioning with hi,

J – J and I dated for about 6 months in 2007. We met on Craigslist (oh yes). First time I had my heart really bruised was when we broke up.  There were lots of issues with this relationship, like long distance, and age difference, and J being a sophomore in college and into drinking/drugs when it really wasn’t my scene, and me being more OCD about planning, etc. However, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. J was the first person I loved, and we had a lot of fun, tried lots of new things, and I learned a fuck ton about myself during and after this relationship. Also, the first person I fisted.  We kind of stopped contact on and off for about eight or nine months, but have recently reconnected. She now identifies as a high femme.  My mind is still trying to wrap itself around this.

The Asshole – First and only cisgender guy I ever had intercourse with. He also told me that I hadn’t really been sexually assaulted – that it was only a misunderstanding. He told me that rape was only perpetrated by strangers, and that domestic violence was only physical, never emotional or threatening. I left his apartment in tears, and have not seen him since…this was about three years ago.

Julius – Julius had been my best friend from about 7th or 8th grade.  He went to most of the dances with me in HS, even though we didn’t go to the same HS. We spent hours every night talking for years. He was my second “real” kiss. He was the first person to tell me that he loved me. He came to see one of my shows in college, and we hung out when I got back.  Then, about a week before I moved to Germany my junior year of college, we hooked up.  I never heard from him again. He blocked me on facebook, he didn’t return my email or hand-written letter. When I called him in 2006 before moving to Philly, he answered my call “accidentally” and then pretended to be someone else.  Last year, I wrote him a note on myspace apologizing for whatever it was that I’d done, and wishing him the best in life. He read it, but never wrote back. That’s Julius.