Sexuality Happens

When I was visiting J at SUNY-Purchase in NY, I met one of J’s friends; the lovely and oh so talented Mal Blum. I was delighted to rediscover her a few weeks back on Myspace, and am hoping to convince her to make a stop in Colorado (I mean, she has a VEGAN song.  So perfect for Boulder, right?).  Anyways, she has a music video.  It amuses me.  A lot.  And goddess knows we could all do with a few good laughs right now.  So without any further ado, I present Mal Blum and her music video for Ode to Kulele.

-Essin’ Em

Today is my day to do the Visabe: A Femmethology books blog tour. Some people have done write ups of what they thoughts of some of the writings.  Others, like Sinclair Sexsmith, have done interesting things with audio.  I’m going to be a little different.  For a few reasons.

A) I AM a little different. Why not carry it through to the blog tour?

B) I’ve had a hell of a time with the PDFs they’ve sent us freezing my Mac when I try to open them or DL them.

C) Femmes are different. Femmethology is different. My stop on the blog tour is going to be different too.

How different is this book?  This is the cover:

Yeah. That’s what I said. And that’s what a lot of people said.  This cover along inspired comments, conversation on twitter, blog posts, and so much more.

And regardless of your thoughts about the cover, conversation IS important. Re-examining your ideas of identities, also important.

I remember when I first started writing for the Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything. I was intrigued, confused, and interested to think and discuss the idea of Femminitity, especially when I realized that a fair number of the contributors were bisexually identified Femmes, a few of whom had cisgender male partners. It boggled my mind. I’d never thought of Femme as anything other than a queer dyke identity, yet here were these Femme identified women, from all different orientations and identities. I had to stop, and think about how I had defined Femme, and look at how I could redefine it to included these other people who identified as such.

Visable: A Femmethology I hope will do the same thing. The cover alone has already inspired so much conversation that I can only imagine that the pieces within will do the same. Femme is not exclusive, and the definition for Femme can morph and change and open to accept more and more. If nothing else, Femmethology will challenge you, make you question, encourage you to stop and think, discuss Femme and other identities, and more.

And that is why YOU should read it, regardless of how you and/or your partner(s) identify.

Get it at Homofactus Press! And then come back to discuss.

-Essin’ Em

I was lucky enough (I am so lucky, aren’t I?) to become an affiliate and reviewer for Liberator.com. Yes, that amazing place that sells all sorts of sex furniture and things to make sex more fun and even more amazing that it already is.

Currently, I own the Liberator Ramp in Leopard (here is my review), and the Fascinator Throe in Safari (here is my review). The Ramp is nice…I use it occasionally to spice up my sex life, and often times in classes, especially ones on disability.  Moreover, I totally use it in bed to prop myself up to the right height for watching movies (am I nerd? yes. But it just shows the Ramp’s multi-uses). The Throe? That I use all the time. It’s bloody (haha…no pun intended) brilliant. I use it all the freaking time. If either me or my partner is bleeding from the cunt, if there is possibility of ejaculation, if there is gonna be fisting, when I plan on long fucking sessions, when I have a partner who is deliciously wet all the time (and I remember to put it down), with wax play. You name it. I love it, I use it, and then I wash it, and let it air dry.

So you can imagine how excited I was to see the giant Scoop box on my door step. Actually, let me clarify.  Liberator sent me the Black Label Scoop, so it has a black cover with clips to hook restraints to. I got it out of the package, let it air out, and before I could even move it to my bedroom, both Kali and Kinsey were on it. I had it on the rounded side, and they LOVED jumping on it and making it rock.  Le sigh.  Let’s play a game; sex toy, or cat toy?  Who knows!

So I read through the booklet of all their other furniture items (ok, who think the Buckaroo looks hilarious, and wonderfully amazing at the same time?), checked out the restraints and blindfold, and waited to reclaim my Scoop from my fur kids.  Finally, it was MINE!

F was over for a birthday lunch I was cooking her, and was kind enough to (while clothed) get an idea of some of the positions that could be used…both for fucking and in a kink sense.

Now, I have to say, I wasn’t sure about this. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do with moving/rocking furniture item. And while yes, it was fun to play around with, I was wanting to incorporate it into sex. While playing around with it at home, I discovered what I personally find to be the single most brilliant thing about this item:

When you flip it over (so the curved side is up), and lie over it on your stomach, there is NO PRESSURE ON YOUR KNEES. None.  It’s all on your chest and hips.

For those of you that read me often, you’ll remember that I’m disabled.  One of my biggest sexual frustrations with this disability crap I deal with is that I love rear entry/doggy style sex, and I love being spanked. However, both tend to either involve being on your knees for a period of time, or bending over the bed, which after a few minutes causes too much pain.  This piece of furniture has re-opened some of my favorite sex positions to me.

First of all, I took it to one of the local dungeons for a play night.  My pet moose Melinda was kind enough to be my test dummy for the Scoop in a kink sense. I had her bent all over it every which way, spanking her, caning her, paddling her, you name it.  I had her lie on it forwards, backwards, across it, over it, on both sides. One of my favorite things was putting her on her hands and knees on it while it was in a rockable position, and tell her not to let it move as I spanked her. Of course, if she moved, there was a punishment. Much fun.  Also, I liked that I could get onto the Scoop with her for closer contact.

Next, Q became my guinea pig.  I put the Scoop on my bed, and had her lean over the rounded side so I could spank her.  It was perfect – she didn’t have to bend over too far, and it was quite comfy.  Then, I had her move it back on the bed (flat side down still), and lean over it backwards. FUCKING. BRILLIANT.  Her cunt, with her legs spread open, was perfectly at face level when I was sitting comfortably on the bed. No knees needed, and no neck cramps. Very well thought out. Then, to make sure that it worked well for the receiver of oral sex, she oh so kindly went down on me (for product testing, of course!) as I lay over the Scoop.  At one point, I propped up my neck/head a bit with a pillow, as I had some how propelled myself farther back as she ate me out, and was getting quite the rush of blood to my head. But mmm. It was good, and a nice back stretch at that.

As far as the restraints? Well. I’m kinky. Really kinky. And to be honest, velcro will not hold me, or any of my partners. I kind of wish that the restraint attachment sites were D-rings, so I could just hook my own cuffs to them, but they are plastic buckles that are only compatible with Liberator restraints. I wonder if I could somehow change them out. I mean, I tried the wrist cuffs and thigh cuffs, and not only did the very comfortable velvet like material slide down my legs in an instant, but I could get to the velcro to undo my cuffs  Bah.  But the blindfold is very nice, and quite comfortable.

The other day, I had some severe knee pain while giving Q a back massage. She actually suggested that next time, I put her over the Scoop for her massage to get a better angle at her, where I don’t have to be on my knees. I think that’s a really good idea, and next time she’s over, I will definitely give it a try.

Did I mention that the cover zips off and is machine washable?  Which is good, since I totally use the Scoop as a piece of furniture for guests to sit on when they’re over (I’m dead serious – I’m all about multi-tasking items).  Also, it comes with a dust cover/case for carrying it, handle included.

I’m not sure I recommend the Black Label Scoop over the good ol’ Scoop. It depends if you’re really into bondage, or if you’re more vanilla and just want some fun, softcore tying up.

However, if you are going to get one piece of Liberator furniture, I would suggest the Scoop. The Wedge is a bit small, the Ramp is nice, but doesn’t have too many ways to use it. But the Scoop? It’s good for oral. It’s good for intercourse. It’s good for kink (spankings, canings, etc). It’s AMAZING for those people who have disabilities involving their ankle or knees, or anyone with joint problems. It’s comfortable. It’s useable as an extra seating area. I love it, and it’ll definitely be getting a lot of use in my place of sex worship.  Maybe I’ll even use the throe under it for a fully…LIBERATED…bed.  Groan. I know.

Good for kink, good for queers, and good for those with disabilities. Five stars!

-Essin’ Em

from www.positivevoid.co.uk found via Art or Porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #23? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #25? Submit it here before Sunday April 19th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Gforce Wand Giveaway Deadline: April 14 11:59 pm EST.
• CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009.
• My First Sex Toy Contest! Deadline: 11:59 PM CST May 1st.
• Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.
• Spring Contest Time! Deadline: TBD?
• Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree! Deadline: Friday, June 5, 2009

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Smart Balls by Eliot Bodem

[P]lacing them as is shown in the little instruction booklet left me feeling that they were always in danger of falling out. But now that I think about it, I suppose that’s the point; you instinctively clench around the balls and that works the PC muscle.

Editor’s Note: I try to pick posts which are not only well-written but also which are somehow unique or unusual and make me desire to own the toy being reviewed. While I’ve seen many reviews of the Fun Factory Smart Balls I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of discovery in this review and it made me want to try them.

Vibrators

• LELO Liv by Mina Meow
• Pocket Rocket Jr. by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Hot Love by Sxychikadee
• Tantus Buzz 1 by Marla Singer
• Vibrating Bullet by Beautiful Dreamer
• The Cone by Ginger Leigh
• Sasi by Mina Meow
• Vibrating Rabbit by Beautiful Dreamer
• Chill Pill by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• SinFive Vuali by Marla Singer
• Siena Symphony by Sleeping Dreamer
• LELO Liv by Holden
• Orchid G by Adriana
• Passion Wave Stimulator by The Countess
• Desire from Evolved by CarrieAnn
• Fun Factory Delight by Beautiful Dreamer
• Perfect Touch Mega Bullet by Dangerous Lilly
• Vibrating Mini-Bullet by Adriana

Dildos

• Fun Factory Share by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• LELO Olga by Beautiful Dreamer
• Share by Domina Doll
• Silky by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Dai Do #3 by Bad Bad Girl
• Helix Rocket by Viviane’s Sex Carnival
• Blue Ripple with LED by Ang
• Fun Factory Curve by Catalina Loves
• Energie by Bad Bad Girl

Lube & etc.

• Sliquid Organics Natural Gel by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Love Balm by CarrieAnn
• ID Moments by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Thigh and Wrist Harness by Thursday’s Child
• Under the Bed Restraints by Backseat Boohoo
• Bondage Tape by Domina Doll
• Nipple Tit Clamps with Bell by Ang

Adult Books

• Tantra for Erotic Empowerment by Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

• Jennifer Welles Big and Natural by J.D. Bauchery
• Seka Gets What She Wants by The Porn Librarian
• Karakuri Ninja Girl by FrzKey
• Barcelona Sex Project by Ansley Agnello
• New Romantix by Beautiful Dreamer
• Flawless by J.D. Bauchery
• Muscle and Cum by The Porn Librarian
• Nina Hartley’s Guide to Bondage Sex by Backseat Boohoo

Storage

• Lockable Vibrator Case – Large by Jezebelle
• FYN Toybox by Essin’ Em
• Sugar Sak XL by Adriana

Miscellaneous

• Sex Clean Toy Cleaner by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Packing Strap by Erin Leone
• G-Plus Massager Attachment by Shay
• Thigh Harness by Thursday’s Child
• Durex Avanti Condoms by Shasta Gibson
• Soft Pack by Carnivalesq
• Love Seat (for the Hitachi) by Bad Bad Girl

So I live in Colorado.

Many people think we’re a snowy wasteland of white death.

We are not.  I think this year, it snowed maybe five or six times all winter.  Some days in January and February were in the 60s and 70s.  Doesn’t mean it won’t snow in May, but it’s definitely not Antarctica.  In fact, we have 300 days of PURE, unadulterated sunshine.

We had a nice snow a week or two ago. I decided to go out a do a mini photo shoot in between drinking tea, eating cupcakes, and watching the BBC version of the Silver Chair that the oh so hot, and even nerdier Natt Nightly gave me for a late birthday present.

The muff (not my cunt, my muff! As in stuff it full o’ chestnuts and carry them around to warm your hands muff) is OBVIOUSLY fake fur. I’ve had it for years and years…maybe almost a decade. But I only really use it when I’m wearing my giant velvet cloak (project for a theatrical costuming class in college – 18 yards of velvet and satin – it’s HUGE). Ergo, I was psyched to bring it out for a shoot.

Here are my boots:

They’re these ridiculous things my mother got me a few years back.  Faux Uggs (ugh) WITH SNOWFLAKES BEADED ONTO THEM.  I think I’ve worn them about three times in my life, usually as a joke.  But they served quite well to get me out onto my balcony in the snow.

And then…there is my scarf. One of my two best friends knit it for me in college, and I LOVE it.

Take a good look:

What do you think of?

The correct answer is Gryffindor, from Harry Potter. She knitted herself one in the Ravenclaw colors before the second movies came out our first year, and when we all (the theatre kids) went to the midnight premiere dressed up, I wore my muff, my aforementioned cloak, and of course, this scarf.  Oh yes, I am that nerdy.

However, Q holds that it is my “DU Scarf.”  DU as in University of Denver. As in the arch rivals (in hockey – men’s and women’s…and I played women’s) of CC (Colorado College), which is where I went to undergrad.  I wore it one day in the elevator in my building, and since I live near DU, some woman asked if I was a DU fan. I am not. I am an ANTI-DU fan. At least for hockey, and men’s rugby. Which is odd, since I used to figure skate there when I was younger, but you can’t really choose your rivals.

Anyways, I told Q this story, and she thought it was amusing. I showed her these pictures, and she didn’t tell me I was cute, or hot, or adorable, or even silly for taking pictures all by myself in the snow.  No. She said “awww…look! You’re wearing your DU scarf.”  She is a brat. Just putting it out there.

Gryffindor scarf debate aside, I enjoyed my snowy day photo shoot.  Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

First of all, happy birthday to my BFF who lives in Denver. I love her to death – love and hugs and all that jazz.

Ok. I know I’m in the middle of my Fucking Ratios story, and part 3 was just published yesterday. I’m not going to do a whole other erotic story for you, since I know how much they bore you. :)

However. Oh. My. God. Sex.

So last week, Q came over. She’d kind of flaked on me the day before (but with fairly good reason), so I was able to very easily pull the “well, I guess you’re just going to have to get a spanking…and let me tease you a long time…and make me come a lot a lot a lot in order to make it up to me.” And damn if that wasn’t one of the best sex sessions I have. I say sessions because she showed up around 4:30am…and we fucked. Then I made us dinner. And we fucked. And there was a shower, and we fucked in the shower. We came out of the shower, and we fucked. Then there was some cuddling and talking, and she left a little after 1am. Have I mentioned how bloody much I love marathon sex?

We are now at the point, after fucking for months (aren’t we proud of me for fucking someone more than once or twice, and yet not getting involved in an unhealthy relationship? *pats self on back*), where we know each other’s bodies well.  I love how wet she is, and how long I can tease her, and the noises she makes (and doesn’t make), and how swollen her clit gets, and stroking her cervix, and playing with her nipples, and just GOD. I cannot stand to be near her and not touching her, playing with her. I mean, we were eating dinner, and all I could do between bites was slide my hand between her legs to play with her clit, and lightly kiss and nibble her nipples.

I don’t know how she feels about fucking me, but I can tell you I LOVE her fucking me. Love it. Like. Wow. The sex we have is absolutely out of this world. She slides her hand into me, and just. Oh. Fucks my brains into mush.  I love that she’s fine using toys (on her and on me), and doesn’t mind when I grab my Hitachi and hold it on my clit like it’s the last thing keeping me alive as I come over and over and over again.  The other day, I had some of the most amazing and intense orgasms, all in row, that I have ever had as she fucked me.  I love that she likes to go down on me. I love that she lets me try out sex toys with her (even though sometimes they are epic fail). I love that I can be silly and awkward and 100% myself with her – whether we’re hanging out, or fucking. I love that I can talk about other sex partners, crushes, kink buddies, etc, and she doesn’t flip out. It’s actually a working open-relationship/situation, instead of one in theory that blows up in practice.

I love what we have.  Afterwards, we lay in bed spooning (and thank god, she is a big spoon. And a good big spoon at that). Talking, chatting, etc.  At one point (I was still in my 20 minute get-out-of-jail-free grace period), I started talking about relationship mapping, and open relationships, etc.  In the midst of much babbling, I asked her if she was ok if I thought of her as a secondary partner. I mean, I’m not looking for a primary right now – I have myself, my kitties, and my best friends. And nor is she looking to be someone’s girlfriend (that works out well then for both of us).  We make jokes about her having a suitcase in her car, and I call red on u-hauling.  But she’s also more than a tertiary, an occasionally hook up/friend I see rarely.  She’s in the middle, and according to my own personal definitions, she’s a secondary.

I always get nervous when I bring these things up. I don’t want us to move in or have serious LTR. But I also like that we cuddle and talk, and can hang out and have good conversation.  I wanted her to know I appreciated the relationship that we have, and that I’m very satisfied with our interactions (and after that sex, I was satisfied for like a week. Which is unheard of).

But she was ok with it. We talked more, about how we both like to stay out of drama, and just have fun and good sex, and good friends. It was a really affirming and validating conversation, and I felt like we were really on the same page.

So then I decide to give her a massage. A) Because she fucked me so well, and I know how exhausting that can be. B) Because she’s really hot. C) Because I love to give massages and D) Because I had a new massage oil candle to try out (that turned out to be superb!).

I straddled her back, and used the warm oil. I was really enjoying massaging her, and rubbing the oil in, and chatting when I started feeling sharp pains in my knees. I had been having a fairly good knee day…so I had hoped I’d be able to actually use them in a normalish manner. I was wrong.  I slid off her back after 20 minutes or so, and very painfully straightened my knees, almost bursting into tears.

“Are you ok?” she asked, sounding actually concerned. Many of my partners haven’t really “gotten” the disabled part. I mean, they are kind and understanding when I explain it, and enjoy the use of my handicapped permit, and laugh at my crip jokes, and think I’m hilarious on narcotics…but when in comes down to it, when I can’t get out of bed, or we have to choose a different place to go because I can’t climb three flights of stairs that day, they shut down. It’s too much for them. So I’ve stopped talking about it seriously with most partners for fear of that moment of rejection. So my shock at her concern had nothing to do with her, but only with my past experiences.

“I’m fine! I’m so sorry, give me a second, and I’ll keep going from lying next to you.” I hate my knees. I hate letting other people see me in pain. I hate putting my disability onto other people. It’s my own weight to bear, and I make the required changes in my life, and when they hurt bad enough to take percocet, I lock myself away so that others don’t have to deal with my stupid fucking crap.

I rubbed my knees a bit, biting my lip until the pain subsided enough to completely straighten them.  I lay next to her, continuing to rub her back. At some point, she flipped over on to her side, looking at me.

“Are you ok?” she asked again.

“No, I’m not fucking ok. I’m so angry at myself, and my knees, and my life being ruined. It’s dumb I know to be upset, especially because it’s just my knees, and it’s not as bad as it could be and I’m not in a wheelchair, but I just forget how much I can’t do anymore and I get sad and frustrated and I’m so sorry for you to have to deal with this and me and…” I just couldn’t stop. The words poured out, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I blinked for a bit, and then focused across the room to try and contain them.  Suddenly, I was telling her about discovering ice skating tapes of when I was little that had survived my house burning down because my grandmother had them, and we were going through her stuff, and had found them. I told her of missing my dad, and missing skating. Regretting all these things I’d had to give up because of my god damn fucking knees.

I felt like an idiot.  As I wrote a lot around this time last year, I hate crying in front of people. I’m counter dependent – people come to me for help, and cry for me, and I help people, and hold them, and listen, and fix whatever I can. I don’t cry in front of them, and unless I really trust them, I don’t ask for help with my problems.  And here I was, in front of someone I’ve only known less than four months, dumping all this crap about my disability on her.

And you know what? She told me it was ok.  She accepted it. She told me I wasn’t putting it on her, that she was there and willing to listen. And she got me an ice pack for my knees, and curled up with me, petting my hair, as word vomit just spilled from my throat.

And you know what else? I didn’t panic completely, or shut myself off. I talked a bit through it. I didn’t cry, but I didn’t hide. I covered up most of my crap, because I have 9 years of anger towards my knees and my life that no one needs to deal with. But I let some of the hurt out.

Then, we were back to talking about 80′s music and avoiding drama (did I mention she totally tutted while I was fucking her when Walk Like An Egyptian came on? I LOVE fucking Q). And it was normal. She didn’t panic as though me sharing part of myself that I repress with her suddenly changed things. It just felt right.

And it was nice. I really appreciate her as a person, as a friend, as an AMAZING fuck, and just, as, well. A secondary. Someone I can talk to as well as have crazy hot sex with.  I’m glad I got all feisty femme on her when we met, and made her talk to me.  We have a lot of fun together. My cunt is happy. And oh yes, I think I might have finally started to trust someone I haven’t known for the better half of a decade.

But no more dramatic outbursts for a while. I think once a month is more than enough for me.

-Essin’ Em

This is part three of a sex story entitled “Fucking Ratios.”  You can read part one here, and part two here.  This is the last segment. 

My hand slipped between her legs, and the black nitrile glove was wet and shiny within seconds. She was already halfway to the moon when I spoke. “So, you have to make me come how many more times?”  I could see she had completely lost count as she racked her brains, trying to do math as a circled my finger around her clit, my fingers working in and out of her. 

“Um. Ah. Let’s see. Um…” she stammered a bit as basic math failed her. “Two times? Three times?”

“Which is it?” I tried to look stern.

“Um. Three times.” She was so not interested in doing the math, as she was paying much more attention to me working her cunt, stroking her, feeling her, fucking her, thumb circling her clit. “I think I’m going to come soon…”

I froze my hand. “No, I don’t think you are…remember, you still have to give me another…what was it, three, orgasms?” Waiting a second, I started moving my hand again, but at a much slower pace. “Unless…well, I guess I’ll give you a choice.” I paused. I loved giving choices; 10 more smacks with a paddle, or 5 with the cane kind of choices. “You can either come right now, with me just stroking your clit, my fingers in you…or if you finish this, then you can come HOWEVER you want, with any toys, or my mouth.  Don’t you want me to use a vibrator on you?” Smiling, I looked at her questioningly. It took her a few moments to respond, as I was still using my gloved hand on her.

“Um. I don’t need a vibrator, I could come right now, just like this.  But I’d really like your mouth…so…”  She broke off as I sped up my fingers, fucking her more quickly for a moment, and then slowing down. “Get on your back so I can fuck you.”

I figured I’d given her a hard enough time already. I flipped myself onto my back as she covered her hand and my cunt in lube. My cunt was already at the point where I was starting to get pleasantly sore, and the lube was very welcome as she slid deep into me. Have I mentioned how good she fucks me? I mean, wow. My cunt clamped down on her hand was she worked it in and out of me. I came. She kept fucking me. I came again. And again. It was relentless and continuous and absolutely amazing as she continued to fuck me, her eyes closed as she used her body weight to lean in and fuck me more and harder.

I reached over to grab my Hitachi. Turning it on, I slipped it between us, resting it on my clit.

Oh.

My.

God.

I came so hard. And again. And again. And again. She hit the button to make it go to high. “No, I’m not fucking ready yet, just keep fucking me please keep fucking don’t stop just don’t stop please fuck me don’t stop AHHHHH.” I had turned it back to low, and came again. I could feel her hand moving inside me, my cunt grasping her as I continued to come and come and come. Finally, I could feel her slowing. “No, please I’m almost please no stop don’t stop more please keep going please close” I begged and pleaded as she sped up again, continuing to fuck me as I reached that point of no return, that final last mind blowing, brain exploding, falling off the face of the earth, can’t beat it so much goodness orgasm. I came as I screamed and screaming as I came and threw the Hitachi to the other side of the bed. Still breathing heavily, I wrapped my legs around her, bringing her as close to me as I possibly could, skin on skin, as I recovered.

When I could breathe slightly normally again, I flipped us both over again, putting her on her back. With one hand reaching up to play with her nipples as I slipped my other hand inside of her, my tongue flicking her clit for a moment before I put my whole mouth on her cunt, licking and sucking her as I fucked her. Within about 10 minutes, she had gone silent, which I now know is a sign that she’s about ready to come. I kept up my rhythm with my hands and mouth working in tandem as she came, and came hard. I kept sucking and licking until she couldn’t take it anymore, and pulled my face out of her cunt.

“Wow. That was amazing. I came really hard.” She said before we curled up on my bed, with her as the big spoon, as always. I smiled.

“I’m brilliant. Orgasm control is wonderful, isn’t it? Plus this whole ratio thing? Brilliant.” I was still a bit horny, so I pulled the Hitachi out again, and slid my trusty Curve dildo in my my cunt, and jilled off until I came again, body pressed up again Q’s.

I snuggled up into her arms, and Kinsey hopped up on the bed to come spoon with us.  We all cuddled for a while before we got up, did the routine post-sex peeing, and she reclothed. I slipped one of my negliges over my head as I followed her to the door. We hugged, and I let her out, locking the door behind me.

I headed into bed with a good book and a mug of hot tea, my cunt aching and throbbing. I felt, for one of the few times in my life, very satiated. I curled up around my body pillow like a cat, and drifted off to sleep.

-Essin’ Em

I was sitting in a hot tub in Boulder the other day with some of the amazing women from the first show of the Vagina Monologues I did this year (the second is this weekend). They were talking about how amazing men were in a sexual context, and I was trying to figure out what it was.

“Well, men smell amazing.”

I looked at her like she was nuts.

“Not like icky just worked out for an hour, but they smell good, and they have that just natural, good man scent.”

I thought to myself “yup, definitely queer.”  While I enjoy the scent of many men’s colognes (especially on my partners), the “natural man smell” is a no go for me. When I play hockey in college, we shared a locker room with the men’s club team. Holy. Jesus. Dead. Moose. In. My. Nose.

Shaking it off, I asked them to continue.  One of the women said “well, there is that thing where you’re having sex, or making out or whatever, and suddenly WHOOSH – you’re just where you need to be.  That’s hot.”

Mmmm. I was smiling and nodding in agreement. “Yes. That’s fucking amazing…but um, I don’t think that’s a man thing. When I was sexually active with cisgender men, they always treated me like I was breakable. But hot damn, some of the queer people who have fucked me have just flipped me and fucked me so damn good.”

That got me thinking.  The next day, Q came over, and we had ridiculously hot, incredibly satisfying, I wasn’t actually horny for a day or two (shocking the world), sore cunt, amazing sex.  And at some point in the middle of all of it, I reiterated this conversation for her.  She looked at me puzzledly when I told her that I’d brought her up in the conversation (nameless, of course), and told the girls how much I’d liked it when she flipped me and fucked me.

“You like that? Cause I wasn’t sure, and didn’t want to hurt you and….” she babbled.  

“Oh no. I fucking LOVE that. Because you know what, and I’m not going to say this again, you’re stronger than me.  I love it when we wrestle, when we fight for who gets to fuck who, like earlier in the shower, or in bed. And I love it when you pin me.  Not very many people can pin me and actually hold me down. Surprisingly, I’m stronger than I look.” I was going off on a tangent by this point.

“Oh, so you like this kind of thing?” She took my wrists in her hand, and I fought with her half-heartedly until she pinned them against the bed. I began to struggle against her, legitimately trying to break her hold. I did once or twice, and let her grab my hands again. It was so incredibly sexy to have her hold me where and how she wanted me, right before she fucked me oh so well again.

I like it when someone moves me, when someone is stronger than me and can pin me, flip me, whatever.

Why? 

Part of it is a bit of my Femme side. I like feeling like I’m with someone strong, who will fuck my brains out, and protect me should some rabid bear come charging through my living room (having taken the elevator up to the fourth floor, of course). I like feeling little sometimes. Yes, I like being put where they want me, and fighting back, and getting pinned. It’s a little of my submissive side, a little of my Femme side, a little of my feisty, I want to fight back side. It’s all of that. But I love it, damn it, and am glad to have someone like Q who can wrestle with me, and usually win. 

So flip me, fuck me, and you’ve got me.

-Essin’ Em

Recently, I’ve found myself hanging out with some very interesting people from a local dungeon.  Amazing people, intriguing conversation and interactions, and the person who seems to be the matriarch of the group is down right inspiring. Moreover, she puts things in an excellent perspective. 

As a queer woman, I’m always getting those guys telling me that all I need to do is have sex with them, and voila, I’ll never turn back, that they’re the guy to “fix me,” that I’m a dyke because I haven’t had the right man yet.  One of my favorite lines is, when I ask why they think they’re going to fuck me better than a woman, is “well, honey, I’ve got a cock.”

That’s when I reply “well, I’ve got about ten, so I can choose.”

Often, I’ll get “well, mine is different,” or the lovely “yeah, well, I’m hung like a horse.”

Answer? “I can be if I want to as well. In a variety of colors and designs.”

But this woman, the matriarch of this group, put it all in fabulous perspective.

“Can you slam it in a drawer, and walk away?”

This line may be one of the best “bugger off and stop trying to straight-en me out when I’m as queer as a four dollar bill” lines I’ve ever heard.

And for that, I bow to her.

-Essin’ Em

Firstly, let me say that MY box (my FYN toybox, obviously not as a synonym for my vagina) happens to be of the leopard print variety – VibeReview just didn’t have any pictures of that particular pattern.

I have lots of sex toys, and I have the For Your Nymphomation Rolling Sex Toy Trunk, and the FYN Toy Chest for the majority of my toys, and a cool box from Tunti Enterprises that I use to carry my edge play toys in. However, sometimes I just want something to carry a few small things with me.

Now, this case was much smaller than I thought – for some reason, the pictures had me thinking it was quite a bit larger than it actually is. In real life, it’s less than a foot square, and only a few inches thick, and holds less than I had expected.

That said, it’s pretty hearty – I took it to a dungeon, left it in my car for a few days (and it got quite a beating there as things got dumped all over it), and there was no damage to the case, no issues with anything inside the case, and I was pretty satisfied.

Inside, there is a small, half-side pocket on one side, and on the other are a few elastic straps to help hold in toys.  Not so great for carrying most kink toys, or odd shaped vibes like the Tuyo…and sadly, my Hitachi doesn’t really fit in it comfortably. On the other hand, other things, like dildo, and all of the Lelo vibes fit pretty perfectly, and stay relatively secure in transit.  Also, a plus – if you happen to spill lube all over the inside (not that anyone other that me would do anything silly like that), it wipes off the inside pretty easily.

All in all, I really like this toy box – I think I’m just spoiled from having so many toys, and usually needing large boxes to store them. However, it’s perfect for short trips – it fits a few dildos, lube, a vibe or two, and some gloves. And really, when it comes down to it, how much more do you really need at any given time? Plus, it matches my red/black/leopard print theme, and we all know how important that is to me.  Four stars!

Click here to get your own FYN toybox!

-Essin’ Em