Sexuality Happens

Archive for April, 2009

Pleasurists #23

April 10th, 2009 | Category: book review,linkage,pleasurists,review,Swag,toys

fishnets

Found via Art or Porn.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #21? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #23? Submit it here before Sunday April 5th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Sex Kits

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Storage

Miscellaneous

 

Pleasurists adult product review round-up banner

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Flashback HNT

April 09th, 2009 | Category: amusing,HNT,linkage,pictures,Real life stories

This picture was taken my my undergrad graduation party, which I shared with my best friend.  She was in town for a day this weekend (she lives in Seattle. I will be going to visit her there this summer as soon as I get plane monies- so WA people, be warned!). I miss her so much…

For our graduation party, we both some how found matching plaid skirts at goodwill, which was crazy, since I’m in the double digit sizes, and she’s like a size 4 or 6.  Add black tops, collars, and crazy hats, and we looked HOT.  We had a door rule – eyeliner required (and provided such for those who didn’t have it).  Regardless of gender or sex, everyone looks better with eyeliner, so we had a party of incredible hottness.

Obviously, debauchery took place.  This is some guy biting my leg. He was intoxicated I’m guessing, but a very nice person overall. Many amazing pictures and mucho fun happened.

I’m trying to figure out what to do for my grad party next month. I mean, I “officially” graduated with my Master’s in August, but I don’t get the chance to walk until May 2009.  However, I’m not flying out to Philly for the express purpose of walking in graduation. That’s silly.  But I *would* like a graduation party…because I didn’t get one! I didn’t get anything for graduation – not a card, not a sheet set (like in HS), not a business card holder (like in college, although I didn’t get anything for graduation then either), nada (I’ve never made any money from graduating anything).  But that’s ok, because I would like to celebrate not dying in grad school with my friends.  Ergo, I need to plan a party for next month. And since all my parties are theme parties, I need to think of something.

Anyways, flash back. I wish I still had that skirt…I think I got rid of it because it was too short to wear in public. Silly me.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

6 comments

Fucking Ratios, Part 2

April 08th, 2009 | Category: bondage,butch/femme,erotica,masturbation,News in my life,non-monogamy,queer,Real life stories,sexual manifesto

A continuation of Fucking Rations, Part 1.

As her fingers entered me, the edge of the cold metal handcuffs rubbed against me. The juxaposition of her warm hand and the chilly metal was sensational.  With my head almost falling off of the edge of the bed, she fucked me oh so well. God, sex with her is getting to the point of fucking incredible.

After I came hard onto her hand, and gathered a few of my wits about me (although not all of them), I sat up. “Get on your knees, and sit up tall” I ordered her.  Once she was in place, I lay on my back, and tried to slide under her in order to lick her cunt as she tried to keep her balance with her handcuffed hands.  

It was a brilliant concept, one that failed in practice. My entire face, including my eyes and hair, was now covered in her come.  As she lubricated my face, I ate her out, going for 30 seconds at a time before having to come up for air in order to not suffocate. This would be an example of sex fail, but I was able to salvage the situation.  Grumbling a little about ridiculous ideas, I slid out from under her and sat up.

I used the key on the necklace around my neck to undo her cuffs, and then pushed her back onto the pillows.  Slowly, I reached between her legs, and gently began to stroke her again.

“One down…three more to go,” I smiled at her wickedly as I continued to touch her, stroke her, tease her.  She was just dripping, her clit hard as my fingers and my hand pressed against it.  Ever so slowly, I slid my fingers into her, curling them up.  As I fucked her with one hand, I pressed my other gently to her neck. “Is this ok?”

“Yes, it’s fine.”

“Good, because dear god, you are turning me on so god damn fucking much.” My hand pressed lightly against her throat, my own clit throbbing between my legs.

“Why do you like it so much?” She looked at me questioningly.  I paused my ministrations for half of a moment. Hmmm. An interesting question. I pondered.

“I like the feel of your pulse below my hand, and feeling you swallow and take in air, all as my hand rests on your throat.”  As my cunt pulsed, I continued. “I also know how much I like it, how much it turns me on to have someone’s hand around my throat as I come, and I want to share that.”  She looked at me and nodded in understanding.  I went back to fucking her, curving my fingers up into her G-spot, my thumb circling her clit.

“I’m going to make you come again.” She struggled to sit up, and push me away from her.  I held on and kept fucking her. Pressing against me, we began to wrestle a little.

“I never said I was going to make it easy for you.” Laughing, I kept fucking her as we tussled, and she finally was able to slip a few of her fingers into me. Wrestling and fucking with much laughter interspersed, she flipped me onto my back, and began to fuck me at a quicker pace. As my breath caught in my chest, she placed her other hand on MY throat. Within only a few seconds, I came HARD. And again.  Maybe once more.

Of course, I counted it as just one. I mean. Cheat to win, right?  But god, her hand on my throat…so good, like a shock of electricity fed directly into my cunt.  

After letting me catch a breath or two, she started to move her hand and fingers again, rubbing my clit with her thumbs as her four fingers explored my cunt.  My hips began to gyrate to the same rhythm, my hand reaching down to force her deeper inside me, doing kegels as I gasped with the sensation they provided.  Her eyes closed, she worked in and out of me, picking up speed and power until I was coming and screaming and coming and falling off the bed and… and then I was trying to breathe and sit up and not fall and…

“Just give me one second.  I promise I just need a sec.” My body was starting to shake as I curled up around her.

“Take your time” she smiled. My cunt was still quivering, and my clit throbbing as I tried to get as much of my naked skin to touch hers as humanly possible. I have a thing about touching when I’m about to come, and after I come. I crave touch, as much as can physically happen.  I’ve been known to look like a koala as I wrap my arms around someone after I’ve been fucked properly.

After a minute or two, I was ready to be up and at ‘em.  I pushed her flat on her back as I attempted to tower over her. Earlier, I’d lit my Afterglow candle, and now, I grabbed it, pouring the wax on her stomach, then rubbing it in. Hot wax is much fun, especially this kind, because it actually smells good, and then turns into massage oil.  I poured more onto her legs, rubbing it in, even massaging it in a little, while at the same time, I lowered my head between her legs, and went back to going down on her.  We lay there as I sucked her clit with my mouth, fucked her with my gloved hand, and used my other hand to continue to rub in the massage oil. I took breaks between to massage her legs, pulling her muscles into my hands.

“Wow, it’s very interesting having the contrast of the relaxing massage while I’m getting fucked” she spoke up. I paused.

“Does that mean you like it, or not?” I don’t claim to be omniscient, and prefer that the people I’m fucking enjoy themselves.

“Yes, it’s just different. It feels really good.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“I think it would be cool to have a back massage sometime.” 

“I like giving back massages. That can be arranged. I was totally the hall back massage giving slut in college.” With that said, I started moving my hand again, and returned my mouth to her clit for a bit.  

Then, removing my hand, I moved her over, so that I had her just where I wanted her.

To be continued…

-Essin’ Em

1 comment

Sugasm #162

April 07th, 2009 | Category: linkage,sugasm

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #163? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Justify My Love

“All I could think of was to have his arms around me so that they could make everything right.”

Tied Naked In A Field Of Grass

“Growing up on a farm has its advantages.”

On Machismo

“It’s very weird, this rigid interpretation of gender in America.”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Compassion: The Angry Family

Editor’s Choice

Heat

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

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SexualAbility Deadline Extended!

April 06th, 2009 | Category: call for help,linkage,News,sexual manifesto

The deadline for submissions to SexualAbility has been extended to April 30, 2009.  Please repost widely, and if interested, submit to this anthology.  Thanks!

-Essin’ Em

Call for Submissions (Anthology)

Working Title: Sexual Ability: Embracing the Intersection of Sexuality and (dis)Ability

Editor: Shanna Katz, M.Ed, Human Sexuality Education, Widener University

Contact: sexualability@gmail.com

Submission Deadline: April 30, 2009

Even as we approach the end of the first decade of the 21st century, there is still a large gap in people’s minds when they think about sexuality as it relates to people who are disabled, whether cognitively or physically. While some studies have been performed regarding the potential for differently-abled people to lead satisfying sexual lives, in which satisfying seems to center around the ability to orgasm, very little has been written about the experiences involving the sexualities and experiences of people who identify as handicapped/disabled/differently-abled, as well as their partners.

People of all ability levels are sexual beings. Sex is hard enough to navigate and negotiate when one fits in with society’s notions of what a sexual being is, but once you add in the concept of ability, it can become quite challenge. This anthology, Sexual Ability, seeks to bring forward the stories, challenges and experiences of differently-abled people and their partners, putting a face on the trials that so many valuable members of our society must face. By sharing the experiences of the disabled community in relation to sexuality, Sexual Ability hopes to challenge people’s viewpoints, foster discussion and conversation, and open doors towards a shift in the social constructions surrounding sexuality and disability.

Essay submissions should be well thought out, and written in a scholarly manner. Acceptable submissions can be in the form of short research papers, non-fictional accounts of personal experience(s), discussions on issues regarding sexuality and disability, etc. Fictional pieces/erotica will NOT be considered. Each author may submit a total of two (2) essays for consideration.

Some topics that authors might consider (but are certainly not limited to) include;

*Coming out to a new partner and facilitating the “disability discussion”

*Reclaiming words surrounding sexuality and disability, such as “crip,” “handicapped,” etc.

*Issues within the medical community; talking with doctors about being sexually active when you’re differently-abled.

*Having to create new sex techniques, positions, conversations, or having to re-define the traditional definitions of sex, etc.

*Disabled and queer, disabled and of color, disabled and religious; reconciling multiple identities alongside sexuality.

*Re-conceiving your sexuality after loss of previous abilities, either solo or with a partner.

*Ability and kink; negotiating within the BDSM community when differently-abled.

*Sexuality and ability through out different cultural experiences.

*Portrayal of disabled people in the media (film, TV, art, advertisements, etc) and the connection to sexuality.

*Disability rights; the fight for them, and how they affect sexuality amongst the disabled community.

*Birth control/contraception; getting it, using it, adapting it, as well as pregnancy/adoption/abortion.

*Creating your identity as a disabled person who is a sexual being; how did it evolve, and what was your journey.

*Any other subjects you feel cover the topic of sexuality and (dis)ability.

By April 30, 2009, please send:

*Your 2,000 – 6,000 word submission, as a word document attachment. It should be titled as such: SubmissionTitleAuthorName.doc (example: SexualAbility.ShannaKatz.Doc). Submissions must be received in 12 point Times New Roman font and sent in via Word documents (other files and cut/pasted text will not be accepted).

* Your complete contact information, including legal name, pen name (if you have one), phone number, email, address, and website (if you have one).

*A 50-100 word biography about yourself.

Please submit the above to: sexualability@gmail.com with the subject line of “Sexual Ability – Submission.” Submissions will be read and reviewed as received, but decisions will be made final by July 2009. Please note that accepted submissions will be approved on a tentative basis, pending editorial board approval once the anthology has secured a publisher.

Questions can be directed to Shanna Katz at sexualability@gmail.com or please visit the Sexual Ability MySpace page at www.myspace.com/sexualability.

Please distribute widely. Feel free to post on blogs, websites, social networking sites, listserves, etc.

A note: I would not dare to define what disabled/handicapped/differently-abled meant to anyone. Please do not ask me if your disability counts; if you or your partner identify as such, then I welcome your submission to this anthology.

2 comments

Stripper Pole Kit Review

April 05th, 2009 | Category: amusing,linkage,News in my life,Real life stories,review,toys

 

In case you’ve missed all the excitement and discussion on Twitter, I am now the proud owner of a stripper pole.  A moveable, adjustable, take it with you in the included carry-bag stripper pole.

How did this come about? I was having a drink in San Francisco with two of my friends (including Fivestar), and the bar had a built in stripper pole. FIvestar said she had her own pole, and used it to get the ladies down to their skivies, because it’s easier to stick to the pole when you’re only in your underwear (I’m obviously paraphrasing here – she speaks much more eloquently).  With a glass or two of wine in my system, I decided that *I* needed a stripper pole, and texted to Twitter “Does anyone want to give me a stripper pole to review.  By the time I had interwebs working again, the lovely Domina Doll, who runs a sex toys review program, had offered me a pole. Yes, a real, live, working, adjustable stripper pole.

When the box shows up, it looks like this:

Now, when it told me it came with the pole (in three pieces, plus hardware, a top, a bottom, etc), a carry bag, and an instructional DVD, I assumed that it was a Carmen Electra DVD (it’s her bloody pole kit) DVD tell you how to use the pole. It was not. The DVD was instructions on how to set it up; two ways.  You can either (suggested, esp for heavier people and those doing advanced moves) screw it into the ceiling, or you can tighten it enough, and it stays up pretty well. If you choose the screwing route, they tell you that you should get yourself a handyman to help while you stand on the ladder…which I thought was a bit sexist.

Anyways, I have lofted ceilings, which while perfect most of the time, were too tall for the pole, which goes from 7’2″ to 8’6″. Luckily, my good friend Vee was nice enough to let me set it up in her apartment, without the screws.  We got it pretty stable, but after 2 hours of using it, it slid off.  Luckily, we put it back up with no issues. It now looked like this (note the how to put it together DVD on the TV screen):

Since it didn’t come with any instructions as to how to use it, we did what any other tech savvy people might do; we turned to YouTube to look for “how to pole dance” shorts.  And voila – we were set.  Set-up had only taken 20 or 25 minutes, so my strawberry daiquiri was just starting to kick in.  We began with this dip like thing:

Where you then, holding on with you arm, slide all the way down to your back on the floor. This one we both got quickly, and it actually looked pretty cool when it was done, and wasn’t that difficult.

Moving on, we tried lots of moves off of YouTube.  Some were epic fails, some worked for both of us, and some only for Vee (anything that involved heavy knee action = vetoed for me). I got (kinda) creative and was trying to figure out ways to use the pole on the floor, thereby saving my knees. I look a little sexy and a little silly:

Usually more silly, as evidenced above.

Finally, we worked on learning the jumps up onto the pole (we didn’t quite make it to sliding down it). It was far more difficult that we thought, especially for me, as I don’t have much upper body strength. I wish I could post the pictures of Vee – she actually caught on after a while and looked pretty good.  I looked more like a koala holding onto a tree for dear life as I slid down the pole, creating mince meat of my inner thighs:

It was definitely a good work out.  Even with the back door open, we were both really sweating.  I think it would be ideal if you could screw it into the ceiling, but since we couldn’t, it did pretty good for what it was supposed to. I would have appreciate more of an instructional “how to use the pole” dvd, but I guess I’ll take what I can get…a good ab work out, regardless of how I looked.

The carry-bag is ridiculous. It saw Carmen Electra Pole Kit on the side in HUGE LETTERS – so if you want something discreet for your pole, this is NOT it.  I just wish I could find a place where I could put it up semi permanently in order to practice on a more regular basis – I’d love the arm and ab strength I’d get from it. But for now, tis a traveling pole, stored along side the rest of my sex furniture.

Hope you enjoyed the review and silliness of the pictures!

-Essin’ Em

4 comments

Pleasurists #22

April 04th, 2009 | Category: linkage,review,Swag,toys

fishnets

Found via Art or Porn.

 

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #21? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #23? Submit it here before Sunday April 5th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

Sex Kits

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Storage

Miscellaneous

 

Pleasurists adult product review round-up banner

No comments

Meeting People

April 03rd, 2009 | Category: butch/femme,dating,linkage,News in my life,non-monogamy,Q and A,queer,Real life stories,relationships

People ask me (although I’m not sure why) where to meet queer people. They tell me they’re interesting in dating, marrying, fucking, conversation, and they just don’t know where to meet lesbian, dykes, transguys, butches, femmes, bois, grrls, etc.

My answer?  Everywhere and anywhere.

L, who I dated a while, and have become really good friends with, I met at the DMV. No really. I awkwardly flirted with her, and wound up on a date with her.

F, although we’d gone to HS together, I met at a CD release party at a local club.

Rex, who fucks me on CrashPadSeries.com, and I met when I went to see the Pornotopia Film Festival (put on by Self Serve Toys) in New Mexico.

The most adorable submissive who I have a mini crush on and I met at a play party.

I met Q and a bunch of other incredibly interesting queer people at the Strap-On 101 class I taught at Hysteria.

Sasha Sappho and I went to middle school together (and are currently competing as to who has hooked up with more people from said middle school.  Including each other, she’s at 3, and I’ve got 4).  We’ve been friends on and off for years, and have reconnected.

J and I met on craigslist when I searched “queer” as a keyword.

I met someone else at a Team Gina concert, and flirted with a cute woman at the Denver Roller Dolls after party. I have some great queer friends I met while performing the Vagina Monologues.

Do things that interest YOU. It’s silly to try and go meet dykes at a local bar if you’re not a bar person. I’ve learned this.  Go to book groups, to rock climbing, to whatever it is that YOU like to do.  There will (likely, unless it’s a KKK or super conservative religious meeting) be other queer people there as well. I mean, as surprising as it is, we are amongst you, infiltrating society with the homosexual agenda.

Meeting people is hard, for sure. I know this far more than I’d like to…but the best way to meet people, especially those who share interests with you is to do things that you actually like, and get to know other people in the same boat.

Just a thought.

-Essin’ Em

1 comment

April Fool’s HNT!

April 02nd, 2009 | Category: amusing,HNT,linkage,News in my life,pictures,Real life stories

OBVIOUSLY (I guess not so obviously if you didn’t figure out), yesterday’s post was most definitely an April’s Fools joke of sorts. I am so entrenched in writing and the sex blog community, there is no fucking way in hell that I’d be shutting down this blog right now. Borrowing from Cher in Clueless, AS IF!

I was actually shocked how many people believed it.  I’ve never pulled off an even decent April Fools, so I was shocked that people fell for it!

So sorry if I freaked you out…and not so sorry if you were rejoicing (you don’t HAVE to read me). But I’m here to stay, hopefully for a good while.

Last week, when AshleyBird was here, we took her to Casa Bonita to visit.  If you haven’t heard of Casa Bonita, either you live under a rock, or have never watched South Park (or both). It’s a giant (25,000 square foot, 1,100 seat) Mexican themed restaurant/indoor entertainment center. It’s got a 30 foot waterfall with lagoon featuring cliff divers, fire divers, a “300 pound gorilla” (a person in a gorilla suit), arcades, Black Bart’s Hide Out, puppet shoes, pinata breakings, and more.  The food is horrible, and it’s totally a tourist trap, but everyone once in a while, it’s fun to bring new Coloradans and out-of-towners to dinner there. I worked there one summer while in college.

One of the extra features is the Magic Room. Every night in the summer, and on weekends in the off season, they have a magician in there at night doing tricks.  However, my parents always referred to it as the Brothel Room, because the entire room has mirrors on the ceilings, with gold gilding.  Very Victorian Brothel.  We went in there so he could spank Ashley, and while there, I decided to try and take a picture of myself in the mirror. Try number one with my lying on the table resulted in the table tipping over and me eating it.  Attempt numbero dos gave me the above picture.  Not super nekkid, but there are boobies! And a brothel ceiling!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em (who is oh so here to stay!)

5 comments

End of the blog

April 01st, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized

I feel like I’m going in circles. I’m saying the same things I’ve been saying for more than two years. I don’t know if there is any reason in continuing this blog anymore.  So for now, I’m taking a hiatus, and this may prove to be the end of Sexuality Happens.

-Essin’ Em

15 comments

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