Sexuality Happens

In case you’ve missed all the excitement and discussion on Twitter, I am now the proud owner of a stripper pole.  A moveable, adjustable, take it with you in the included carry-bag stripper pole.

How did this come about? I was having a drink in San Francisco with two of my friends (including Fivestar), and the bar had a built in stripper pole. FIvestar said she had her own pole, and used it to get the ladies down to their skivies, because it’s easier to stick to the pole when you’re only in your underwear (I’m obviously paraphrasing here – she speaks much more eloquently).  With a glass or two of wine in my system, I decided that *I* needed a stripper pole, and texted to Twitter “Does anyone want to give me a stripper pole to review.  By the time I had interwebs working again, the lovely Domina Doll, who runs a sex toys review program, had offered me a pole. Yes, a real, live, working, adjustable stripper pole.

When the box shows up, it looks like this:

Now, when it told me it came with the pole (in three pieces, plus hardware, a top, a bottom, etc), a carry bag, and an instructional DVD, I assumed that it was a Carmen Electra DVD (it’s her bloody pole kit) DVD tell you how to use the pole. It was not. The DVD was instructions on how to set it up; two ways.  You can either (suggested, esp for heavier people and those doing advanced moves) screw it into the ceiling, or you can tighten it enough, and it stays up pretty well. If you choose the screwing route, they tell you that you should get yourself a handyman to help while you stand on the ladder…which I thought was a bit sexist.

Anyways, I have lofted ceilings, which while perfect most of the time, were too tall for the pole, which goes from 7’2″ to 8’6″. Luckily, my good friend Vee was nice enough to let me set it up in her apartment, without the screws.  We got it pretty stable, but after 2 hours of using it, it slid off.  Luckily, we put it back up with no issues. It now looked like this (note the how to put it together DVD on the TV screen):

Since it didn’t come with any instructions as to how to use it, we did what any other tech savvy people might do; we turned to YouTube to look for “how to pole dance” shorts.  And voila – we were set.  Set-up had only taken 20 or 25 minutes, so my strawberry daiquiri was just starting to kick in.  We began with this dip like thing:

Where you then, holding on with you arm, slide all the way down to your back on the floor. This one we both got quickly, and it actually looked pretty cool when it was done, and wasn’t that difficult.

Moving on, we tried lots of moves off of YouTube.  Some were epic fails, some worked for both of us, and some only for Vee (anything that involved heavy knee action = vetoed for me). I got (kinda) creative and was trying to figure out ways to use the pole on the floor, thereby saving my knees. I look a little sexy and a little silly:

Usually more silly, as evidenced above.

Finally, we worked on learning the jumps up onto the pole (we didn’t quite make it to sliding down it). It was far more difficult that we thought, especially for me, as I don’t have much upper body strength. I wish I could post the pictures of Vee – she actually caught on after a while and looked pretty good.  I looked more like a koala holding onto a tree for dear life as I slid down the pole, creating mince meat of my inner thighs:

It was definitely a good work out.  Even with the back door open, we were both really sweating.  I think it would be ideal if you could screw it into the ceiling, but since we couldn’t, it did pretty good for what it was supposed to. I would have appreciate more of an instructional “how to use the pole” dvd, but I guess I’ll take what I can get…a good ab work out, regardless of how I looked.

The carry-bag is ridiculous. It saw Carmen Electra Pole Kit on the side in HUGE LETTERS – so if you want something discreet for your pole, this is NOT it.  I just wish I could find a place where I could put it up semi permanently in order to practice on a more regular basis – I’d love the arm and ab strength I’d get from it. But for now, tis a traveling pole, stored along side the rest of my sex furniture.

Hope you enjoyed the review and silliness of the pictures!

-Essin’ Em