Sexuality Happens

Have you been waiting?

I know you were waiting.

I’VE been waiting.

I’ve been for a perfect, red, 36″ long spreader bar.

Yes. A spreader bar.

This one is particularly nice. Now, I tried a Spreader Bar with Snap Hooks last year. Honestly, it was pretty much a P.O.S and epic fail.  And then I wanted a real one more and even more.  So I was so excited when my sex toy collection was suddenly expanded by a 36″ spreader bar.  I keep saying 36″ because this particular bar also comes in a 24″ option as well. Additionally, it comes in the lovely shade of red that I was happy to get because it matches my collection, but also in purple and pink, for the discerning kinky perverts out there. To be honest, as much as I love the black in my black, red and animal print sex toy collection theme, it’s nice to see a little color variety in kinky toys (conversely, I’d like to see more black and red dildos/vibrators among all the purple and pink ones).

Anyways, I told Q she was in charge, and to use the spreader bar to the best of her ability on me. There was much texting back and forth about it…about me using it on her as she stood up and I ate her out, and she couldn’t bring her legs together…about her using it on me and fucking me until I couldn’t take it anymore, etc. I was so excited and was thrilled the next time I saw her, and she mentioned the spreader bar.

We put some leather cuffs on my ankles, and used fancy schmancy snap-hooks from Home Depot to attach the cuffs (and consequently my ankles) to the ends of the spreader bar. I’m so glad i got a 36″ one – 24″ would have been WAY to short for me. However, there was one problem; because the cuffs had D rings, and was attached by snap hooks, there was a lot of flexibility as to where I could move my ankles. She told me she’d been hoping for something more solid, where I couldn’t move my legs AT ALL as she licked me, sucked me and fucked me.

Gah. I even bought zip ties, hoping that would help (using them with the cuffs, as compared to on their own). Not much better.  Basically, I think I need to figure out some fancy rope ties to tie my ankles directly to the spreader bar, and just eliminate the entire cuff set out of the equation.  If anyone has some brilliant rope ideas, please share.

Anyways, I really really really like my spreader bar. I have a tendency to move a lot and close my legs, especially when things feel really really really good. This works towards preventing that. I loved that Q could hold up the bar, and move my legs (and often times me) where she wanted them in one, quick, fluid motion. I liked the cold feel of the metal. I liked how I looked with my legs spread so wide apart. Basically, the spreader bar fulfilled 95% of my fantasies about it – I just need to figure out a better way to attach my ankles to it.

4.5 stars out of 5.  Pretty damn awesome!

Want a spreader bar? In possibly one of a variety of colors? Well, what are you waiting for?

-Essin’ Em

You know, for a Femme, I’m really not that much for shoes. Other than a nice pair of Doc Martens, I’ve never spent more than $29.99 on a pair of shoes, and usually much less that.  This is one of my favorite pairs – I bought them for ten euros in Germany back in 2005. For heels, they’re quite comfortable, and they don’t bother my knees too much. I can’t wear most heels, and the ones I can, not very often, nor for a long period of time.

Sadly, I wore these last week, and the heel popped off the bottom of one. I need to find some gorilla glue, and see if I can fix it. I love them – they match a flogger I have, and a hat, and a necklace.  And for all that I’m not the biggest shoe lover, you have to admit that these are a pretty sexy pair of shoes, right?

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

from fotodigital.ro via art-or-porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #32? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #34? Submit it here before Sunday June 21st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Njoy Pure Wand Giveaway! Deadline: Friday, June 19th at noon Eastern Standard Time.
• Blowfish Swag Contest Giveaway #1 Deadline: June 22nd
• Name That Sex Toy! Deadline: 11:59 PST June 26th

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets by Epiphora

On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy, pointy, somewhat pliable. They remind you of body jewelry, Hot Topic, the 90s. But this tactile experience does not prepare you for the sensation of the spines in your pussy.

Editor’s Note: It should be no secret that I love Epiphora’s reviews, and this is a particularly wonderful one. Often reviews of bad toys are better than raving reviews of wonderful toys that we reviewers can’t get enough of and this is one such review. The absolute horror of the toy is at once frightening and intriguing as Epiphora takes you through her attempts of trying to find any redeeming quality in it whatsoever.

Vibrators

• Evolved Bottle Rocket Orion by Carrie Ann
• Sublime by Epiphora
• The Boss by Red
• Vibratex Thundercloud by Betty Rocket
• Mini Remote Control 7-Speed Egg by KamaSutronics
• Cal Exotics Intimacy Massager by Miss KissThis
• Review – The Hawaiian Vibrator by ms. YET
• Evolved Diamond Lustre by the kitten pup
• Betty Jo by Carrie Ann
• We-Vibe by Exploring Intimacy
• Climax Silicone Wavy G-shaft by Carrie Ann
• Sublime by Epiphora
• Natural Contours Petite by Domina Doll
• Natural Contours Jolie by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Dildos

• Climax Silicone wavy shaft by Amorous Rocker
• The Titan by Essin’ Em

Anal Toys

• Anal Electrodes by KamaSutronics
• Bootie by Beautiful Dreamer
• Cyberskin Dream Cock by Eliot Bodem
• Aluminum Mini 3″ and 4″ by Epiphora

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Kama Sutra Mint Tree Luxury Bathing Gel by Ansley Agnello
• Lover’s Choice Flower Balm For Her Pleasure by Thursday’s Child
• Sliquid Organics Natural Gel by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Wet Naturals by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Door Jam Cuffs by The Master
• Dr. Kaplan Nipple Pump System 2 by Thursday’s Child
• Nexus iStim by Sleeping Dreamer
• Fetish Fantasy Wooden Paddle by Eliot Bodem
• Jennings Dental Mouth Gag by Domina Doll

Adult Books/Games

• Lesbian Sex 101 by Ansley Agnello
• Spin Me from JimmyJane by Sleeping Dreamer
• The Clitourist by Ansley Agnello
• Books by Anna Hooper by Red
• Books By Tracey Cox by Red

Adult Movies/Porn

• Big Ass Fixation 4 by Sommer Marsden
• Amateur Angels 22 by The Porn Librarian
• women in Cell Block 7 by FrzKey
• Cynthia by J.D. Bauchery
• No Swear Words by The Porn Librarian
• Office Perverts by FrzKey
• Dana Dearmond’s Role Modeling by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Kegel Exercisers

• Pleasure Pearls by Baby Sinead
• Kegel8 Tight and Tone by havingmycake
• Smartballs by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Miscellaneous

• Fantasy Swing by Ginger Leigh
• Contour I by Sleeping Dreamer
• The eXtreme Plow Fucking Machine by KamaSutronics
• Crazy Girl Pheromone Diva Dust by Jessie M
• Adult Toy Cleaner by Jezebelle
• Liberator Fascinator Shag Throe by Epiphora

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts dildos

Lined up all pretty in a row!

I love sex toy cleaning day. Actually, I’m not being facecious, I really truly do.  There is nothing that quite matches that feeling of stirring a pot full of dildos, wearing hardly anything, mixing the traditions of housewifery with the perverseness of having a pot full of sex toys.

Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Metals (such as stainless steel), ceramics (like porcelain), silicone, and glass can be sterilized for sharing.  You *can* dishwash them on the top shelf (with no soap), you can wipe them down with a 10% bleach solution, or, like me, you can BOIL THEM!

It’s fun, it’s good for sharing toys (or just cleaning them really well in general), and if nothing else, you can shock your friends while you’re letting your toys dry. Although I think I’m well beyond shocking my friends.

So this just serves as a little reminder to clean your toys. Bonus points if you share pictures!

-Essin’ Em

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #168? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Every Time You Orgasm, An Angel Gets Its Wings

“There is nothing that screams “fuck you” to the pain and the hurt in the world than screaming “fuck me” to the person in your bed.”

HNT: Spanked

“I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. But tonight, I was sure.”

A Thousand Kisses

“This wasn’t enough. I knew that I had to try something else.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Congratulations, you’re invited!

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: Religion

Editor’s Choice

Food, fun and commitment

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

It’s another one of these contests.  Ooh La La is holding a contest where if you post a wishlist on your blog, you can win up to £500 worthe of toys (they, they’re a British company).  Ergo, I figured I’d throw my hat into the ring…especially because they have zebra print plus size lingerie! 

Here are the rules.

My list:

Zebra Bustier – I love animal print, and don’t have ANY zebra print lingerie.  Plus, they match one of my pairs of glasses. What isn’t to love? Cost:  £59

Diamond Fishnets in Black and Red (2 pairs) – I have a fishnet fetish, black and red are favorite colors, and like most derby girls, I’ve discovered how cool it looks to layer two colors of fishnets. Cost:  £6 each, £12 total

Lovemoiselle – Aveline Ceramic Dildo – Ok, so we know how much I love cool materials in my cunt?  And even though I have a GoldFrau, I really like this shape and design. Plus, it’s CERAMIC! Cost: £54

Feeldoe Original – This is the only type of new-style double ended dildo that I don’t yet have, and I really want it. A lot. Cost: £109

Little Chroma Red – I don’t have any JimmyJane vibrators, and this one is not only small and cute, but it’s also RED, which makes it ideal for both my sex toy collection, and more importantly, my purse.  This way, I can pull it out for not only myself, but any deserving partners! Cost: £144

OhMiBod Vibrator – Because I have an iPod, I LOVE music, especially during sex, and I think mixing sex and music is brilliant. Cost: £41

Enchanted Evening Kit – I do in fact, believe it or not, have my sweet and romantic side.  Candle, Champagne and all that sound exquisite…with the right person. Cost: £31

Afterglow Candle in Bourbon – I actually have this candle in FigLeaf and LOVE it…so does my partner Q. I’m running low after a few months, and would love a refill, but in a different scent. Cost: £31

Vanilkla Fetish – Well, cause I love both giving and getting massage before and after, and sometimes during sex.  And it’s all natural. Beautiful. Cost: £17

Lavetra Strong Condoms – Sounds silly for this dyke will sterilizable toys, right? But I’ve broken many a condom on my hitachi while sharing, and would love to try some extra strong condoms to see if that helps. Cost: £2.

Total cost:  Cost: £500, EXACTLY.  Yes, I am that good.

Please pick me! Yahoo!

This is just a quick bit of amusement or explanation.

The other day, I had twittered something about wishing I could do something that involved the internet.  The lovely Mollena suggested something fancy and internet like for the phone.

And actually, when I was at Sex 2.0, many people expressed their surprise that I didn’t have either an iPhone or a Blackberry.

Here’s a little secret of mine:

I don’t have internet on my phone.

Nope. None.  I mean, I think it MAY be feasible (but it really is a piece of shit, cheaper than cheap phone, so maybe not), but I definitely don’t use it. Moreover, even if I wasn’t piss poor broke, I wouldn’t buy an iPhone or Blackberry, or any other way of having internet at my finger tips.

Why?

Because I’m trying to be good and self aware and all of that. I’m setting boundaries.

I spend, most days, between 6 and 14 hours online, depending on how much I’m working. I have to check my email multiple times per day. I twitter from my phone via text, and receive direct messages on it as well.

I do NOT need internet on my phone. I get texts on my phone, I tweet from it.  When I am away from my computer, I need to be away from my computer.  I need to set boundaries for myself.  I’d be responding to emails and twitter messages, changing my facebook status, trying to write blog posts, etc, when I was needing to be elsewhere – like grocery shopping, working not online, teaching, out with friends, having dinner, etc.

I’m not going to lie – sometimes I wish I had the ability to look up someone’s number, or googlemap something, or check details in an email when I’m out and about. If it’s really important (like when I forgot to bring a ring to Florida, and was trying to get the number for Planned Parenthood to call in a prescription for me), I’ll text/call/tweet a friend, and ask them to text me or call me with the information I need.

So yes, occasionally I missed out.  But on the other hand, I have set a boundary for myself that I know is important.  I am NOT always accessible. I am NOT always online. I am NOT constantly checking my email (which I already check at least a dozen times a day). I am able to go out to eat, to the park, to play parties, to friend’s houses, and am not tied to the interwebs.

So that’s why I’m one of the very few sex bloggers that isn’t all up to date on fancy schmancy phone technology, but other than monetarily, I have a reason for it.

-Essin’ Em

This one is from GlassDildoz.com.  Don’t ask why there is a Z, but there is. In fact, it’s called the Titan. It’s pretty, it’s glass, it’s shiny. There is just one problem – it’s partially pink!

I love love love toys made of interesting materials; glass, metal, ceramic, stone, wood, etc. Love them.  So I was pretty exctited to get this one in the mail, especially because Q has never been lucky enough to use glass toys, and I totally got to try it out on her. Yes, I took her glass virginity.

I’d been teasing her for a while, so I thought I’d be really nice. I put a little bit of lube on this beautiful (albeit pink) toy, and slid it into her…carefully, and gently (because when you fuck someone too hard with a glass toy, you can accidentally cause a lot of pain, much more so than with a softer material, like silicone.  Then I lowered my head to her absolutely delicious cunt, and slowly started to lick her…her lips, her hood, and eventually her clit.  At the same time, I slid the Titan in and out and in and out of her.

Q told me that getting eaten out when I fuck her with a glass dildo like the Titan is one of her favorite ways, if not her absolutely favorite way, to come.  Given how much we fuck, and in how many ridiculously awesome ways we fuck, that says a lot.

I like curves on my glass dildos, because then you get great G-spot stimulation without having to angle it too much. This one has a great built in angle – I approve.

While you *can* use glass anally, the base on this is so small, I’d be hesitant to do that, especially because it’s a really skinny toy, and glass is slippery as fuck.  To clean, you can wash with soap. To share and/or sterilize, boil it for three minutes, put in the top shelf of your dishwasher with no soap, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution.  Yes. It really is that easy.

Fun, affordable, and a nice shape, this is no Mercedes of dildos, but it’s a great beginner toy. I’d give it 3.5 or even 4 stars.

-Essin’ Em

This is me being silly in the kitchen while playing around as Q cooked a delicious dinner for me.  In hindsight, my lime green underwear doesn’t *really* go with the black bra and leopard print apron, but it was mainly a spur of the moment thing.

Oh, and Q wanted me to post this photo too, because she likes it better than the other one I posted.  As a side note, she now has a fairly hawky-fauxhawk and I want to take more pictures of her (and will….if you tell me it’s worth it to post more of her incredible deliciousness) and her new hair.  But this is us together in the kitchen while she cooks:

See, we’re sooooo cute.  It’s kind of gross how cute we are, but I mean, what can you do?

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday to all of y’all, and let me know if you want more pictures of my lovely partner.

-Essin’ Em