Sexuality Happens

For a really long time, I was incredibly frustrated that I couldn’t ejaculate. I tried EVERY thing I could possibly think of; I read the “right” books, I watched the “right” movies, I even heard Beverly Whipple (one of the co-authors of “The G-Spot”) speak. I could not for the life of me ejaculate…squirt…gush…whatever you’d like to call it.

Finally, I broke down. Everyone I knew said that the Njoy Pure Wand was the cause for their/their partner’s first ejaculatory episode. Ergo, while on my quest for ejaculation, I bought myself (this was when I still had a full time, paying job) a Pure Wand. I used it on myself, by myself.  Nothing.  I had J use it on me, with fingers, with a hitachi, before coming, after coming, during coming. Nada.  I used it on J, and poof, J ejaculated.  A year later, I used it on F. Poof; F ejaculated.  The magic of the Pure Wand was there; I was just somehow impermeable to it.

Finally, F and I were having good sex, on a fairly regular basis. At the time I thought it was mind blowing, and it was. I now have new forms of mind blowing sex….but nevertheless, the sex F and I had was very satisfying, and enjoyable.  Eventually, I realized that it didn’t matter whether or not I was able to ejaculate; I could still have very strong and incredibly fulfilling orgasms.  Couple my lack of ejaculation with my minimal lubrication, and I was a very un-messy fuck, which was how I put a positive spin on it.  Much of the material I’d read had said that not every woman could come, so I chalked it up to that. I drank lots of fluid, was incredibly comfortable with my body, and could definitely have orgasms, so I didn’t think any of those reasons were the culprit.  I resigned myself, not bitterly though, to just not being able to ejaculate.

But then, there was my experience of having ridiculously hot sex in San Francisco.  And I ejaculated, for the first time EVER!  It went something like this.

S: So, do you squirt?

Me: No. Well, I never have.

S: Really? That’s surprising.

*much fucking*

S: I thought you said you didn’t squirt?

Me: Huh? What? 

*Reaches down to find a fairly large puddle at the base of my cunt*

Me: Oh. Well. Yes. Ok. There’s a first time for everything I suppose.

I realized that maybe it was a little like fisting; I wanted it so bad for quite a while, and possibly that was one of the reasons it never happened. Once I gave up, I was able to be fisted finally.  This might have been similar; I no longer care about whether or not I could ejaculate, and suddenly, I could.  Also, S was a very enjoyable and knowledgeable sex partner, so that might have tipped the scales as well.

Fast forward.  I was starting to sleep with Q on a fairly regular basis, and had an episode of ex-sex with F.  No more ejaculating. I chalked it up to a one time thing, and moved on with my life.

Till one day, Q topped me for the very first time. God, was it hot. And when I finally was allowed to come, I came and came…and gushed. A lot. Um. Ok.

And since my ejaculations re-started up with Q, I can’t stop. It’s beyond a trickle now…you could say it’s usually a fountain.  Sometimes once, occasionally twice or thrice, depending on the sex. But basically, we need the Fascinator Throe or a hell of a lot of towels whenever I’m getting fucked. 

It’s interesting. It’s just with her. I can’t make myself squirt/gush (apparently, I’m much more of a gusher), no matter what combo of toys/hands I use.  I shot porn with the lovely Sabrina Morgan at Sex 2.0, and it didn’t happen then, even with the amazing Njoy Eleven. Yeah, I know.

But it happens with Q. Every time she sticks her fingers inside me to fuck me, suddenly, the forecast called for rain.  Luckily, she thinks it’s really hot, even when we forget to put towels down and stain her sheets, or when I splash all over her. Sometimes, I can’t even feel it – I just hear the sloshing, see the look on her face, or roll in to the giant wet spot after.

The other day, we were having a quickie before I headed to Florida. I came and came and came and gushed so much that I could just feel it rush out of me, and I went to grab the Hitachi for my clit, but when I turned it on, all that happened was masses and masses of come and ejaculate, and just general liquid from in and around my cunt sprayed up, splashing and soaking both me and Q. Imagine a car spinning its tires in a rainstorm. It took us a few minutes to stop laughing…she kept her hand inside as I used a towel to mop up the excess liquid, and tried again, more successfully. She fucked me twice more before I left, and both times, woooooosh. Or as she said “waaaah waaaah waaaah.”  She makes light of it, in her amazing and silly way, and told me I had “drenched her in my ejaculatory love.” I give her many hearts for that.

So I got what I waned. I ejaculate…a lot…and often. I’m changing my sheets all the bloody time, and now have to have designated come towels all around my room. Honestly, I can’t always feel it, and even when I do, it doesn’t really improve my orgasms, although it does make it wetter, which is nice since I don’t lube much naturally. Otherwise, I personally could take it or leave it.  Q likes it though, and I think she’s proud to help facilitate my ejaculation, so I’m glad it’s worked out for both of us like this.

At that, dear readers, is my story of ejaculation, or who I came to squeeze water out of a stone. With some outside help as well.

*takes a bow*

-Essin’ Em