Sexuality Happens

I love fisting. A lot. Being fisted and fisting my partner(s).  In fact, I’ve even gotten Q into it. Sometimes it’s been more planned, and it has worked. Sometimes, it hasn’t. The other night, I was fucking her, and her cunt just opened up before me, and I slid my whole hand inside of her, no extra lube needed. Then she wanted less so she could come.

Now, in my experiences, I’ve met anti-fisting people, mostly because they’ve never done it.  Their idea of fisting is a giant fist being shoved into an unwelcoming cunt or ass. Not the case. There is love and care and trust behind fisting.  I’ve been fisted by 3 people ever – people I felt incredibly connected to. It doesn’t just happen.  Moreover, while punch fucking (a closed fist being shoved in and out, with lots of lube and what not) can feel amazing for some, most fisting is much slower, and less, well, fist-like.  Think of a duck bill.

Anyways.

A little bird brought this post to my attention. In case you’re not all about linking, here is the text:

Fisting Virgin

And may I say I intend to stay that way. I’ve tried out all manner of sex toys and devices over the years but have never felt the need to indulge in fisting.

To me a cock, fingers, dildo or vibe are all sufficient to bring me off. I don’t need to have something fill me to capacity and beyond for it to feel good.

It also raises the question, “if you become accustomed to having a full hand shoved up your you know what how will you ever feels satisfied with the vanilla lifestyle most of us have?”

Surely compared to a hand, a dildo, butt plug or cock for that matter are not even going to touch the sides.

Nice that they thought about the hygiene aspect by creating this Fisting Glove. I think I’ll stick to cock it may not be extreme but it does the job for me. 

This was my comment (keep in mind I’ve been cranky between the pain, tiredness and new meds). I’m sure it could have been written better, but really?  Just because *I* don’t like teh butt sechs or fleshy penises doesn’t mean I’m telling everyone that their vaginas are going to fall out if they have PIV, or that they’re going to have rectal bleeding because of anal sex.  Gah.

Wow. I find this to be one of the most sex-negative, judgmental posts I’ve read in a while. To me, it falls in the same category of “but if you use a vibrator, you’ll never enjoy non-toy involved sex again” or “you’re not a real lesbian if you use a dildo to emulate straight sex.”

Really? I mean, I’m glad that a cock, fingers, dildo or vibe are all sufficient to bring you off. While I’ve never gotten off from a flesh on blood cock, I can assure you that a cock, fingers, dildo or vibe are all sufficient to bring me off as well. Look how much alike we are.

Except I’ve been fisted. Quite a bit actually. And it in no way hampers my ability to get off from any other methods. In fact, I usually can’t come from fisting unless I’ve come from other ways first. My partner has also been fisting (by yours truly). Actually, last night, I fisted her for a good half hour. And then she wanted to come, so I fucked her really hard with 2 fingers so she could. She *can’t* come from fisting.

To me, fisting is not a vanilla vs. kink thing. It’s not a straight vs dyke thing. What it IS, at least in my book, is another fun sexual activity to add to your repertoire only when there is an inordinate amount of trust and chemistry. It does nothing permanent to your cunt, but it does send me flying high, makes me feel closer to my partner, and makes me moan on a primal level.

In the same way I would never tell people how to have PIV intercourse, because I don’t have it, I would hope you wouldn’t attempt to scare people with rumors of what *could* happen with fisting when you’ve never tried it yourself.

I am NOT a fisting virgin, and my cunt can crack walnuts. Maybe check your information in the future?

Then they responded (well, Alex, that is), telling me I was extrapolating from what she’d said. Now, yes, I was cranky in my original comment, but I don’t think that when someone says “surely” they’re asking a question, but rather putting forth information.

So I wrote this more stuff.

Basically, I felt this post called out a certain activity, and suceeded in fear mongering.  I was upset about this, as I feel our community should come together and support one another, as compared to telling people what they do is extreme, and could (in their minds) prevent you from ever being satisfied by a cock, dildo, vibrator or fingers ever again.

But yes, I could be wrong. And I invite you, as always, to tell me such.

K. That’s all I’ve got for now. Discuss.

-Essin’ Em