Sexuality Happens

I love hot dyke sex. I mean, who doesn’t? (ok, I know lots of people don’t, but it’s a figure of speech)

However, I was excited to get to review a copy of Best Lesbian Erotica 2009 for more than just the hot dyke sex.

Why? Cause I’m the star of one of the stories.  Yeah, that’s right. Check out the story Diner on the Corner, and you tell me if the rockabilly femme with vibrantly colored hair doesn’t sound just a littttttle bit familiar.  Yup, that’s me!

Ok, you say, you’re biased. You’re a erotica star, so of course you like the book.

Nay! I say. I am biased about THAT story, but not about the WHOLE book. And let me tell you, ME-OW!

There is a huge variety of stories here, from Butch/Femme to D/s, and all over the rest of the incredibly hot lesbian sex spectrum.  There is a plethora of amazing authors, including some of my all time favs; Zaedryn Meade, Sacchi Gre, Radclyffe, Shanna Germain, Rachel Krammer Bussel.

I think my favorite story in the whole book (other than The Diner on the Corner, of course) is Lipstick on Her Collar.  Back in HS, before I came out, I used to love reading historical romance novels, because it was history AND sex, which are two of my favorite things. In Lipstick on her Collar, Green combines the history (Vietnam Era) and the hot dyke sex, making it both and interesting and incredibly arousing story.

Also, I liked Tough Enough to Wear a Dress (by Teresa Noelle Roberts), which delved into the pyschological side of of relationships and sexuality and how things from our pasts color our relationships and futures. Plus, the visualizations that she creates are absolutely scrumptious.

This book has a mouth watering variety of stories, that I’m pretty sure it’ll appeal to a schmorgasboard of readers.  

But as Lavar Burton used to say on Reading Rainbow, you don’t have to take my word for it!

Get your very own, panty wetting, clit throbbing (cock throbbing too probably), fuck me now copy of Best Lesbian Erotica 2009 by clicking here.

-Essin’ Em

Hey all!

I’m going to be in Seattle, Washington July 22nd-29th.

I know some people (Butchtastic Kyle, Scarlet Lotus and Coy Pink come to mind) were hoping to do a blogger like meet up.  That would be freaking awesome. 

Also, I’m shooting with the lovely Furry Girl for her amazing site VegPorn.com while I’m out there, which I’m super psyched about.

On the 26th, I’ll be doing a workshop on sex/disability/kink at the Center for Sex Positive Culture, and attending the subsequent social/play party.

Otherwise, I’m available if you’re interested in having me present, model, shoot, beat you up, etc.  Shoot me an email at essinem at gmail dot com, or leave me a comment with your email.

Additionally, I’d love to get suggestions of things to do in Seattle. I’ve been to the Babeland, and to the really cool bar in a place that used to be a church and has a whole boatload of different martinis, and to Pikes Place market, and to conveyor belt sushi…what else is a MUST see/do? Also, where are good kinky and/or queer places for me to frequent?

Alright Seattle folks – I’m looking forward to some good travel advice, and to meet up with some of you.  See you shortly!

-Essin’ Em

First of all, would like to explain this is NOT a push for you to nominate me. I really could care less if I make it on lists.

However, Rory over at Between My Sheets is accepting nominations for her Sexiest Bloggers of 2009 list, and if you’re a reader of blogs, I suggest you go over there and nominate. I would love to get some more kinky and queer sex bloggers on that list…and I know many of my readers read other kink and queer sex blogs, so I figure where else to find people to nominate interesting and sex bloggers.

Where to go? What to do?

Click here, and nominate any bloggers who you especially like reading. That’s it. Voila. Done.

Repost, pass it on, you know the drill.

-Essin’ Em

I’m sorry I’m not around to do fancy schmancy posts….but all weekend, I’m at Thunder in the Mountains.  Classes, vendors, and play parties galore!

Here is an outfit picture from last year:

and here is a flogger I bought:

And here is a marble dildo I bought:

Here’s to hoping some pictures make up for me being away for the weekend.

If you’re AT Thunder, come say hi!

-Essin’ Em

We all know of my great love and undying devotion for the Hitachi.

However, I’m always willing to give other vibes a go…and I mean, come on, the Acuvibe mini LOOKS like the Hitachi, so I was dealing with pretty good betting odds here, right??? Moreover, it is chargeable (via wall outlet), and then is hand held, which is something the Hitachi is NOT. And you know, you’re not always just next to an outlet, especially during travel.

Sadly, mine is pink. I figure if I keep repeating my hatred of the color pink, the Great Spaghetti Monster will hear me, and I’ll stop getting pink toys. Not that I’m not grateful, but really, pink?

I took it over to Q’s house for a toy testing sleepover party (that involved just the two of us), cause you know, I’m so cool like that. However, we had to plug it in and wait for 8 hours to charge. Ergo, if you decide to rock out with your Acuvibe mini out, make sure you give the thing enough time for its original charge.  The charger is cool, and the toy lights up while charging, which I appreciate, since I tried to charge a vibe on a dead outlet once for about two weeks, and thought it was my vibe that was defective, not the outlet.

It’s a little quieter than the Hitachi, but not by too much.  Q and I read the instructions, which made it pretty clear that like the Hitachi, this was designed to be a back massager, not a sex toy. It even said things about not putting it on delicate tissue. Fuck that, I did it anyways, solely to help YOU, dear reader, know whether it was a worthwhile toy.

The verdict? It’s a nice toy. Nice. It felt good, certainly. Neither of us came from it though. It’s not quite the *right* kind of vibration that I like.  You know, you find THE vibration that works for you, and everything else is just 2nd tier?

But guess what? It makes an absolutely, positively STUNNING back massager. I mean, wow. I keep it in my car now for when I am getting stressed out, or feel a migraine coming on, and it’s absolutely amazing!  I can honestly say I think it’s a better neck and back massager than the Hitachi, and I plan on getting it as a non-sex driven gift for people, as odd as that might seem coming from me.  But yeah, epic massager. I like.

Head over to Babeland, and get your own Acuvibe Mini, or…if you’re like me, pick up a (nother) Hitachi Magic Wand.  Just saying.

-Essin’ Em

Picture by RLCK Studios

I love leopard print. OBVIOUSLY.

I also very much enjoyed the fan blowing up my skirt/dress/neglige thingy ma jigger. It felt quite nice, as you might be able to tell by my smile.

That is all.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

Via photokonkurs.com

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #36? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #38? Submit it here before Sunday July 19th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Get Some Balls! Deadline: July 17th at 11:59 pm PDT
• Who wants a free vibrator?? Deadline: Friday, July 17 at midnight
• Hello Kitty Vibe photo contest Deadline: September 1, 2009.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Outlaw Leather’s The Fix by Beautiful Dreamer

It also works very nicely for when he has already came multiple times and I still want more- I strap this on him, set him in a chair, and fuck myself silly. He enjoys watching me get off, I enjoy the intimacy I still feel by being connected to him, and I have my blissful orgasms.

Editor’s Note: Not only is this a wonderful review, as always, from Beautiful Dreamer, but just recently my girlfriend and I were remarking how we needed to try a thigh harness and so of course there was not one but two thigh harness reviews in this week’s list, gotta love when things like that happen. I hadn’t seen The Fix before, and it’s a gorgeous product worthy of this great review.

Vibrators

• Serenity Pink by Mystyfi
• AcuVibe Mini by Coy Pink
• LELO Iris by Sexorcism
• AcuVibe Mini by Miss KissThis
• High Intensity Bullet by Red

Dildos

• JimmyJane Form 6 by CarrieAnn
• Tantus Acute by Backseat Boohoo
• Marcos Banderas Uncut by Jess
• Twisted Crank by Shay
• Chaos by CarrieAnn
• Cyclone by Beautiful Dreamer
• Red Glitter Fantasy Cock by Mystyfi
• E-glass Screamer by Eliot Bodem
• Triple-X Galaxy Dichroic Glass Dildo by Carnivalesq
• Tantus Echo by Epiphora

Anal Toys

• Awkward Yet Electrifying by Sleeping Dreamer
• Ophoria Rapture #5 by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Fun Factory Bootie by Miss KissThis
• LELO Bob by Jake Holden

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Wish Vanilla Sugar Pheromone Massage Candle by True Pleasures
• Astroglide X Silicone Lubricant by That Toy Chick
• Smooches Delicious Body Dust by Jessie M

BDSM/Fetish

• Luxury Silk Bondage Sashes by Beautiful Dreamer
• Burning Angel’s Alternative Bondage Tape by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Aslan Leather’s Jaguar Restraints by Beautiful Dreamer

Adult Books/Games

• Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Thursday’s Child

Adult Movies/Porn

• Das Haus der Schlafenden Schönen by Backseat Boohoo
• Michael Lucas’ Auditions Volume 4 by The Porn Librarian
• Steal Runway by FrzKey
• Girls Kissing Girls 3 – Make Up, Makeout Sessions by J.D. Bauchery
• Tommy Gunn’s Point Blank P.O.V. by The Porn Librarian
• Queen and Slave by FrzKey
• Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels by Backseat Boohoo
• Champion by Epiphora

Lingerie

• Lycra Inductrial Net Backseam Pantyhose by Ginger Leigh
• Bra & Skirted Thong by Beautiful Dreamer

Miscellaneous

• Mr. Limpy – small by Jess
• Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner by Carnivalesq
• The Amazing Hot Heart Massager by Jessie M
• Thigh Harness by Essin’ Em
• Commando Harness by Jess

Since Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is coming out at midnight tonight, and Q and I are going to go see it (I’m dressing up of course), I am embedding the trailer:

Also:

Here is me at the premiere for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in college (I’m far left)

And

This one is summer 2007 for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

So for those of you going to the midnight premiere tonight, have fun. For those of you going in the future, enjoy.  And for those of you non-HP fans, well.  Bugger on you.

I will leave you with this video and song:

-Essin’ Em

If you happen to not know what LBD is, it generally stands for Lesbian Bed Death. It’s the idea the after two lesbians/dykes/queers/etc are together for a while and slowly, there is a decline in the amount of sex until sex isn’t existent, and then it’s more like being friends who live together than being partners.

Q and I had an LBD scare. Well, let me rephrase.  Q had an LBD scare, I had a “I’m totally illogically terrified you’re going to break up with me because our sex has diminished a bit.”

Let me back track. In the last six weeks, I’ve had tonsilitis for five of them, have been on three rounds of antibiotics, have started a new job working 30-40 hours a week that involved getting up very early, and have been doing about one presentation/workshop a week.

I’m exhausted.  The doctor (I’m seeing an actual doctor now, rather than the clinic) has no idea what it is. I’ve been on steroids, antibiotics, had multiple tests, and had lots of blood drawn.  I’m waiting to hear back from more tests, and if they’re inconclusive, then I’m off to see an infectious diseases specialist. I don’t know if my exhaustion is part of being sick for over 35 days, or if it’s from getting up early, driving, working and driving home, which I haven’t done regularly for over a year.

Either way, our sex life has slowed down. No, it’s not non-existent. But we’ve gone from having sex three-four times a week to once or twice a week, because sometimes I’m too tired.

It’s NOT LBD. I am still just as horny, and want to fuck her just as much. God, our sex is AMAZING, and she’s so fucking hot and smart, and I love love love having sex with her. I just am so tired.  So she’s internalized it a bit, and is worried it’s her, or LBD, or ______.  And I know how frustrated she is, and so I’m irrationally afraid she’s going to break up with me before I can figure out how to fix this situation.

So I have a question for those of you that have had similar issues – long term illness, or ridiculous schedules, etc. How have you made it work?  Our relationship is fine, except for not being able to have sex as often as I’d like….so how can:

a) I figure out why I’m so tired?

b) I figure out how to have sex more often, even if I am tired?

c) Q feel more secure in this not being LBD?

d) Q feel more secure in knowing it has nothing to do with her?

e) Both of us solve this problem?

All advice and suggestions welcome!

-Essin’ Em

I will be presenting a class on sex and disability, and negotiation disability in a BDSM context at the Center for Sex Positive Education in Seattle while I’m there in July.  Would love to see some of you there!

-Essin’ Em

Description: 

Contrary to many social assumptions, people with disabilities and those who are differently abled are sexual beings. Sometimes it is hard to have a partner who is differently abled, or to be someone who is physically or mentally disabled entering a sexual relationships.  Moreover, many people practice BDSM in a certain way, and have trouble changing it when they have a partner who is differently abled.  This will discuss who to include ability level into pre-play negotiations, new ways to try things, and more. Open to everyone, but particularly oriented to those who are differently abled/disabled and their current/potential partners.

After the workshop there will be a short social and  play party. 

Shanna Katz has recently completed her Master€’s in Human Sexuality Education at Widener University in Pennsylvania. She also has her B.A. in Sociology from the Colorado College.

Shanna has many years of experience working with a variety of individuals and groups, providing both consultations and workshops/classes. Some of her specialties include: safer sex workshops, ally education programs, and sexual assault prevention/consent classes. Her popular “€œTaking Sex out of the Dark”€ talk is an intimate session which gives students an opportunity to ask a “€œsexpert” their deep (and often un-answered) questions. She also does trainings and consultations on LGBTQ issues (both in workplace and school environments), work with human resource departments, alternative sexualities consultations, advice about sex toys/sexual aides and more. Additionally, she works one-on-one with individuals, couples, and small groups as a sexual wellness coach, helping people explore their sexuality in a safe and open-minded manner.

Her focuses include queer sexuality, k trainings ink and the BDSM community, sex toy education and safety, and sexuality in regards to disability. She has done, workshops and written curricula for numerous places, including Princeton University (Princeton, NJ), the State University of New York – Purchase (Purchase, NY), the University of Pennsylvania (Philadelphia, PA), Widener University (Chester, PA), the Planned Parenthood Association of Bucks Country (Doylestown, PA), Passional Toys (Philadelphia, PA), S.E.X. PhD (Denver, CO), Colorado College (Colorado Springs, CO), Femina Potens Gallery (San Francisco, CA), Sex 2.0 Conference 2009 (Washington DC) and Hysteria (Denver, CO).

http://www.ShannaKatz.com/