Sexuality Happens

Everybody with a cunt (or vagina or pussy or woo woo, etc) of any kind should remember to pee after sex – whether oral sex or intercourse.

Why?

Because add bacteria around your urethera, whether from a mouth, or fingers, or cocks, etc, moving stuff around up in there, and you’ve given yourself a great opportunity for a UTI (urinary tract infection).  Urine is sterile, and helps clean away unwanted bacteria.

Pee after sex.

As a side note, as I discovered the other day, if you forget to get up and move around and pee after sex, because you’ve come and come and come and had your brains fucked out, then you may wake up at 3am to get up to pee, and will wind up with lube and ejaculatory love (as Q calls it), dripping down your legs because it didn’t drip out/get wiped up before.

Just in case you were wondering.

-Essin’ Em

Today is Q’s birthday. I have been planning this whole weekend get away with her for like two months…thrift store shopping, hotel for the night, fondue, sex, and more.

I love this person more than words can express. I’m so fucking glad she came to my strap-on class, and that I pursued her for weeks on end, and that we both got over the “I’m not looking for a primary partner right now” issue, and that we both like each others’ cats, and that the sex is the most mind-blowing amazing sex I’ve ever had…on a regular basis, and that I love her so much that sometimes it hurts.

Happy Birthday Baby – I love you!

<3,

Me

As many of you know, I’ve been fighting many of my own health care battles, from injuring my ankle last summer (and losing my job over it) which put me thousands of dollars in debt, to being rejected by not one, not two, but now SEVEN insurance companies, to needing total knee replacements in both knees so that I can walk up and down stairs, only to be told that I need to wait 10-15 years because the doctors feel I’m too young (not that I can afford them anyways).

We all have our health care stories. Often bad, but sometimes good.

In light of all the discussion going on about health care, Bill Campbell has decided to share many of these stories…from Americans and from those in countries with Universal Healthcare. If you’d like to share your story, the information is below.

-Essin’ Em

This month I’m trying to dedicate my blog, Tome of the Unknown Writer, to health care stories from America and countries with universal health care. Since we’re going to be inundated with propaganda from all sides, I thought it could be enlightening just to hear from regular people how they feel about our health care system. So, I’m looking for stories about their experiences, their views on health care, what they’d like to see happen in the future, stuff like that. Then I’ll be posting each story as I get them. I don’t care if they’re pro or con. I only care that they’re honest. 

If you could possibly contribute and/or spread the word or know someone who would be interested and pass it along, it would be greatly appreciated. 

Health Care Stories: International

Health Care Stories: America

I love lube. We know this from the many things I’ve written about it.  It’s brilliant. In my world, you can’t ever really have too much – worse comes to worse, it dries out a little, or you wash a bit off, wipe it off, etc, and go right back into the rocking sex.

However, it is very easy to have not enough lube. And that is never ever good. In fact, usually, it’s bad. I mean, lube can add pizzaz to masturbation, to playing with a partner, to penises/cocks/dildos/vibes/fisting/etc. It’s adds a little more slippery, a little more fun, and a little less ouch and sore.

My problem? Finding the RIGHT lube. I mean, there are silicone lubes, water based lubes, flavored lubes, jack off (oil based lubes), etc. Some are good, some are great, and some are just…well, a wash out.  More over, a lot of sex bloggers/reviewers have their own personal lube preferences, so they wind up not reviewing other lubes, which then makes it even harder to look around online and find good reviews of lubes.

A few months back, I reviewed Eros Bodyglide, a silicone based lube that happens to be one of my absolute favorites…for non-toy play.  Why? Because silicone lube + silicone toys = epic fail. Not so much.  Luckily, both for me and my toys, Pjur (the German company who makes Bodyglide) also makes Aqua, a similar formula to Eros Bodyglide, but in a water-based form.

VibeReview sent me this one to check out, and it’s amazing.  I mean, it doesn’t have quite the lasting power of a silicone lube…but then again, show me a water based that does.  And of course, whenever a water based lube does start to dry up, just add more water; I got Q a shark shaped water gun (mine looks like a cuddle fish) and those are great for adding water (and amusement) into sex play. Also, sprinking water, spitting, pissing, or pouring a glass on your partner are other great ways to really re-vitalize the water based lube.

Now, Aqua, like Bodyglide, is a thinner lube, which I like for the most part. For some fisting and anal play, you might want to look into a thicker lube, but this works very well for me. It feels good, not too greasy, takes a good deal of time to dry out, and doesn’t get goopy. It lasts a long time, and I really like it. My one beef with it (and Q has the same one), is that the screw on cap makes it more difficult to open and close during sex (and has involved using teeth to open it because hands are already lube-y, and has also spilled on my bed, because we couldn’t close it).  However, compared with the pump bottle caps, it is better for travel, so I guess it’s a trade off.  As far as water based lubes go, I give this a 5 star rating (out of five).

As a huge fan of Aqua, I suggest you get your own here.

Then, there are, as always, the flavored lubes. This is always tricky, because some have an evil glycerin after taste, others just taste too sweet or icky, and some actually are flavored with sugar. Because yes, let’s put sugar in my cunt. Good plan.  I mean, are they in cahoots with Monastat for yeast infection cream sales?

Now, a few years ago, I discovered a brand…a brand known as Sex Tarts, at my local sex toy store. And by a few years ago, I mean circa 2003.  I bought the strawberry flavored one, after doing extensive taste tests, mostly because it tasted almost exactly like a jolly rancher. At the time, I didn’t know about ingredients and glycerin and all that, so I just went with it.  I’ve used it on bio cocks, silicone cocks, and cunts alike…and it still tasted delicious.

Some women have VERY bad reactions to glycerin – yeast infections and so on. These are not good. I’ve been lucky in that the only yeast infections I’ve gotten have been in response to partners who smoke (I’ve also gotten bacterial vaginosis from that), and from an all natural lube that used vegetable glycerin.  Ergo, I CAN use this lube, while not in large quantities. It doesn’t directly use sugar to sweeten it (rather, aspartame, so if you have allergic reactions to that, as does my sister, stay away from being on either side of this).

As I wanted to mix up my sex toy reviews with some lube, I asked to try a flavor of this I haven’t seen before; SexTarts green apple fizz.

Delicious. Again, I love this lube because it actually tastes like Jolly Ranchers and is delicious. Like yum. It doesn’t have the odd aftertaste I find so often in flavored lubes, it does taste yummy, it doesn’t give me (or Q) yeast infections.  It’s great for use on dental dams/saran wrap (far more exciting than licking latex, or well, saran wrap), and lately, I’ve been tasting a bit bitter due to the plethora of drugs I’ve been on to try and kick this tonsilitis.  Ergo, this has been in use more than usual (both of us love the taste of natural cunt) as a nice cover up for some of the bitterness. Now, in general, if your taste changes (either you like to check it out, or your partner/s notices something), you should go to the clinic/doctor and get checked fro yeast/BV/STIs. I just happen to know it’s from the drugs…because I asked my doctor.

Anyways, as far as flavored lubes go, it’s not bad. I really want to try the O’My Flavored ones (glycerin free!), and have to yet to do so, which means I can’t compare.  I wouldn’t use this for a lot of fucking or fisting etc, given the glycerin content…but if you’re looking for a good flavored lube, check out Sex Tarts (in a variety of flavors). I can personally vouch for the strawberry and green apple. (oh yes- PS – it’s really cheap!)

So that’s my current place in the epic saga of looking for lubes…tune in again next time!

-Essin’ Em

Because who doesn’t love to get a text, while you’re out of town, from your hot butch partner, informing you that they (said hot butch) are about to masturbate in your bed?

No one, that’s who.

Especially when it’s accompanied by the picture above. You can see that Q got her hands on my Nob Essence toy…it sounds like she had a ton of fun with it.

God, my partner is so fucking hot.

That is all

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

via taraxos

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #39? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #41? Submit it here before Sunday August 9th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Tantus Giveaway! Deadline: August 8th at 11:59 pm PDT.
• Steal our Blog and win $100 Deadline: August 28th.
• Our First Contest! Deadline: August 31st.
• Hello Kitty Vibe photo contest Deadline: September 1, 2009.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Femblossom with heat by Carnivalesq

I really did not think I was going to like the heat feature. I thought it would be too hot, or that the heat just wouldn’t be my thing, or that the Emotional Bliss people were downright weird for making a heated vibrator. I’m so glad to tell you kind folks that I was dead wrong.

Vibrators

• Comparing the Hitachi, Magic Massager & My Magic Massager by Dangerous Lilly
• Comparing the Acuvibe, Acuvibe Mini & Ideal by Dangerous Lilly
• Vibratex Starburst by Domina Doll
• omG G-Spot stimulator by Valynn
• LELO Liv by Eliot Bodem
• The Cone by Domina Doll

Dildos

• Candy Cane by True Pleasures
• Jollies Original by Essin’ Em
• Tantus Purr by The Duchess
• Tantus Goddess by Miss KissThis

Anal Toys

• Flexi Felix by Carnivalesq
• Tantus B-Bomb by Laurel
• Luxotiq Anal Plug by Carrie Ann
• Tantus Ryder by Valynn
• NobEssence Romp by Miss KissThis
• Tristian Taormino’s Anniversary Edition Plug by Him & Her

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Gun Oil H2O by Bill Turner
• Bwarm Soy Massage Candle by Miss KissThis
• Kama Sutra’s Treasures of the Sea & Bathing Gel by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Door Jam Cuffs by True Pleasures
• Door Jam Cuffs by Beautiful Dreamer

Adult Books

• Pleasure Bound: True Bondage Stories by Sarah Estrella

Adult Movies/Porn

• Ashley and Kisha by Domina Doll
• Nina Hartley’s Guide to Stripping for Your Partner by Carnivalesq
• Pro-Ball Cheerleaders (Remastered Grindhouse Edition) by J.D. Bauchery
• The Portal by FrzKey
• Bella Loves Jenna by The Porn Librarian
• The Pinch by J.D. Bauchery
• Taboo Charming Mother Vol. 1-Unfulfilled Wife by FrzKey
• Triple Play Solo Edition by Eliot Bodem
• Hardcore Circus by Epiphora

Sex Furniture

• Liberator Freestyle by Miss KissThis

Lingerie

• Penthouse Signature Stretch Lace Panty by Sommer Marsden
• Satin Chemise Set by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Miscellaneous

• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Nadia
• Burning Angel’s Spiked Duotone Balls by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Vibrating Velvet Harness by Epiphora

Extreme Masturbation on August 6th 

Who?

Everyone that loves to get down with their bad selves.

Where?

Hysteria Boutique

114 South Broadway
Denver, CO 80209
Ph: 303.733.3373

Masturbation is more than a menage trois with you, a sex toy/your hand, and your bed.  Get ideas for new places to enjoy your self love, new ways to make it fresh and exciting again, talk about group masturbation (who said circle jerks are only for men in 80’s porn?), and much more. 

Cost: $15

Class taught by Shanna Katz, M.Ed

Shanna has many years of experience working with a variety of individuals and groups, providing both consultations and workshops/classes. Some of her specialties include: safer sex workshops, ally education programs, and sexual assault prevention/consent classes. Her popular “Taking Sex out of the Dark” talk is an intimate session which gives students an opportunity to ask a “sexpert” their deep (and often un-answered) questions. She also does trainings and consultations on LGBTQ issues (both in workplace and school environments), work with human resource departments, alternative sexualities consultations, advice about sex toys/sexual aides and more. Additionally, she works one-on-one with individuals, couples, and small groups as a sexual wellness coach, helping people explore their sexuality in a safe and open-minded manner.

Her focuses include queer sexuality, kink and the BDSM community, sex toy education and safety, and sexuality in regards to disability. She has done trainings, workshops and written curricula for numerous places, including Princeton University (Princeton, NJ), the State University of New York – Purchase (Purchase, NY), the University of Pennsylvania (Philadelphia, PA), Widener University (Chester, PA), the Planned Parenthood Association of Bucks Country (Doylestown, PA), Passional Toys (Philadelphia, PA), S.E.X. PhD (Denver, CO), Colorado College (Colorado Springs, CO), Femina Potens Gallery (San Francisco, CA), Sex 2.0 Conference 2009 (Washington DC) and Hysteria (Denver, CO).

Shanna is a former sex tips columnist for the “popular by women, for women” site Hot Movies For Her, and has an interesting outlook on sexuality from a feminist and sex positive perspective. She worked as the Community Outreach Coordinator for the sex positive company Eden Fantasys; writing reviews, articles and erotica as part of the site’s total view of sexuality.

Currently, she is an active member of AASECT; the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. You can also read her on the Advice Panel at The Lesbian Lifestyle, and under the pen name Essin’ Em at Best Sex Bloggers, the Femmes Guide to Absolutely Everything, and Live Girl Review. At the moment, she is a resident Sex Educator with Hysteria, and continues to provide classes, trainings and workshops to a variety of clients in the Denver area. She also is the Denver Sexual Health expert for Examiner.com.

Shanna feels that sexuality is something which is a very personalized journey for each individual, and leaves extra time at the conclusion of all of her trainings for people to approach her with individual questions, comments, concerns and more. She understands that many people don’t feel comfortable raising their hands in a group setting, or even asking questions afterward, and allows for this by also being available to answer any and all inquiries via email. She is completely accessible to all of her programs’ participants, even after the fact; she believes in full spectrum sexuality. The journey only continues on after the training is over, and she hopes that the participants of her programs become life long learners, and only continue to reach, expand and grow as they explore their horizons. Even if a participant attends multiple trainings (whether on the same or different topics), it is her hope that each time, they are able to glean something totally new and unique out of each one.

I love Q.

A lot.

More and differently than I’ve ever loved anyone else before.

The other night, we lay in bed.  She’s been having a rough time with not being able to find a job, and is getting depressed and frustrated about it.  I’ve been sick with this stupid tonsilitis for 8 weeks now, and I have all these wonderful (read: horrible) knee and joint problems.  Both of us have our cranky moments, our hurting moments, etc.

And we’re both relying on each other for support.

We lay in bed, and we were talking. And then we were crying and all my emotions just poured out. I told her how much I cared about her, how much she meant to me. We talked about how we suddenly realized that we were a couple.  Still Q and Essin’ Em, but a couple, two people together. She asked me if that was ok with me, if I was sure this was what I wanted.

I thought for a moment. I never imagined caring about anyone like this. I never imagined talking about the future. Never thought I might be willing to move somewhere.  But as she looks for a job and is having to look in other job markets, I realize that I would be ok moving with her, if I could .

It’s scary. I’m terrified. I have a deeply internalized fear of people leaving me once I really care about then. I mean yes, everyone has that fear. But I have had both partners and friends that have really screwed me over once they found out how much I cared about them/they meant to me.  So I’m scared.

But you know, it’s ok. It’s ok to be scared. Especially because I trust her. And because I think she is scared too. And we’ll just have to figure it out together.

-Essin’ Em

I do a lot of toy reviews.

Not as many as some, more than others.

I also review books, movies, etc.

But here is my question to you;

What do YOU want to see me review?  What do you want to know about? Heard about a product and you want to know the 4-1-1 before you buy it?  Let me know. I’d love to hear about what you want to hear about.

So leave me a comment, shoot me an email (essinem at gmail dot com), and I’ll see what I can do about hooking you up with the information that YOU want.

-Essin’ Em

Despite it ending in a night of epic fail, the other night, while in Seattle, my friend asked me to quickly, off the top of my head, name 10 things that I love.

Here are my 10.  Do they surprise you?  Apparently they shocked her partner.  And now, give ME 10 things that YOU love. Snap decision style.

-Essin’ Em

1. Cats

2. Tea

3. Connection

4. Creativity

5. Performance

6. Hanging out in bodies of water (bathtubs excluded)

7. Books. Reading them, buying them, smelling them, organizing them, collecting them.

8. Laughter

9. Sleeping

10. Lighting people on fire/being lit on fire