Sex 411: The Sex Ed You Never Got in School
I’ve decided to write a series of articles, both for here and for Good Vibrations. It’s going to be called Sex 411: The Sex Ed You Never Got in School. It’s going to be informative, interesting and amusing, and it’s going to cover things that I (and hopefully you) deem important things about sex/sexuality/etc that you never got in your middle school/high school/college sexuality education classes. I already know some topics I’m planning on writing about, but I’d love to hear from you, from your friends, your partners, your kids, etc, about subjects that warrant discussion.
Here are some ideas I’m already planning on writing about:
*Lube; different types, when to use it, ingredient allergies, social perceptions
*Safer sex; how can we make barriers less icky and more sexy, since no one REALLY loves a condom/dam
*Period sex; pros/cons, how to do it safely, talking about it, etc
*How to talk with your partner about relationships styles (mono, poly, partner but playing, etc)
*How to come out as kinky
*First timers; how to deal with fears, concerns, etc, and figure out the right time
*Toys; introducing them, figuring out what works for you without blowing the budget
*Post sex activities; clean up, peeing (no UTIs), etc
*When you DO have an STI: people DO get them — how do you tell current, future and/or past partners
*Casual sex; how to have it while making it as safe and fun as possible
*Role playing: Types, discussions, etc
*Sex with/as a survivor; how to provide/ask for support, resources, etc
Any other ideas? I’d love to hear them, and hopefully write about them. Please comment here, unless you’d like to be more anonymous and send me an email at essinem at GMAIL dot com. Either way, please, let me know topics you wish you’d learned in sex ed in your school(s), or from your parents, etc. If you can re-post, re-tweet, etc, and let people know about this, I’d really appreciate it!
Thanks!
-Essin’ Em
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While not particularly relevant to me, here’s another one that springs to mind that was certainly never discussed in school: sex during pregnancy
*How to come out as NON-kinky, i.e. after someone comes out to you as kinky and you aren’t interested but don’t want to seem judgmental–you can be not into something and still think it’s okay for others.
*Learning about different labels, both in the BDSM world (top, bottom, submissive, dominant, etc) and the LGBTQIIA world (did I miss anyone?) i.e. I have heard “transman” refer to someone going MTF and FTM (usually the latter, but I’ve heard the former), how to keep from offending people with labels (sometimes unavoidable), and oh, while we’re talking about double meanings.
*The importance of clear language; terms may not have the same meaning everywhere!
great and speechless
I think that sounds like a great idea! As you’re researching and thinking about things to discuss, I’d definitely check out the Midwest Teen Sex Show, which aims to be “sex information, not sex education.” They’re absolutely friggin’ hilarious and, although they’re aimed ad a slightly different audience than it sounds like you are, they do cover some similar topics.
(I’m not affiliated with them, just love watching their videos.)
i’m really glad that you’re doing this, and looking forward to reading a lot of those potential articles :)
more ideas:
* personally, i’ve always had trouble verbalizing my desires. i’ve experienced many different kinds of sex by now but that’s one thing that still makes me feel embarrassed, and it makes certain things kind of difficult – e.g. bringing up kinks when i’m in a sexual relationship with someone i’m not sure is kinky or not
* opening up a relationship that began as monogamous; or broaching poly to someone who doesn’t typically do that
* introducing toys into a sexual relationship
… i realize that most of what i’m interested in is “how can i introduce this thing i like to someone else without weirding them out?” lol
Great list. I recently overheard a group of about a dozen female college students discussing masturbation as “the sex of last resort”. I’d like to see more about the value of solo sex in its own right (self-discovery, self-acceptance, self-satisfaction, etc.). That it can be more than mindless and mechanical and it’s not inherently inferior to partnered sex.
great idea! looking forward to the writings.
You are awesome. :)
peace…
How about an article about sex on your period – is it safe? Or increased risk for HIV?
Also, tips for using harnesses correctly?