Sexuality Happens

Halloween just so happens to be my favorite holiday. Moreover (just to prove to you, once more, how perfect we are for one another), it is also Q’s favorite holiday.

Usually, I start planning my costume in March or April. Some years, I have multiple costumes for different events/audiences. Here is last year’s halloween post with a plethora of previous costumes, and then an HNT of my Medusa outfit from 2009.

Last night to see the midnight showing of Rocky Horror…and as always, I dressed as Magenta — here is a picture from previous shows:

However, most of our Halloween celebrations took place LAST weekend, due to our move. Because we’re leaving tomorrow morning, we figured celebrating ON Halloween wasn’t the smartest plan, nor was making really nice and expensive costumes, when we’re both broke and trying to minimize our possestions. Originally, when the move wasn’t in the plans, she was going to be Wolverine and I was going to go as Rogue…but with the move, and our new “low cost, keep it simple plan,” we went mostly with stuff we already had.  And what does that mean?

She went as Hugh Hefner, and I went as a playboy bunny.  Total Outfit Cost (both of us put together): $20 ish for the bow tie, tail, hair spray and pipe. Cheap, amusing, and I have boobies. 

Pictures to follow.

Anyways, to all you whipper snappers celebrating this weekend, happy halloween, be safe, have fun, and PLEASE post pictures of your costumes!

-Essin’ Em

Everybody’s talking about the Alumina Motion, and now I’m one of them.  I have sex toys made out of a whole plethora of materials; stainless steel, granite, glass, ceramic, silicone and wood, so this aluminum toy really added to my collection.  I love dildos made out of fun materials — they feel amazing inside of you, they’re fun to try out, and plus, they look really cool just hanging out around you home (I may or may not be planning on eventually having shadow boxes on my wall of all the coolest dildo materials and such).

What about this particular one? Q LOVED it. When I say loved it, I mean, this is her new favorite toy.  According to her, it beats out her old favorite dildo (wood), her rocking yet basic favorite vibe (good ol’ bullet), etc. Nothing she likes more than this toy. In fact, when I tried it out for the first time, fucking her with this (and eventually using the Hitachi Magic Wand on her clit), she flew high in sub space for over an hour.  I asked her what she thought of it, and told me it felt nice. I asked “what felt nice” and all I got back was “the feeling. The feeling feels nice.” Yeah, she was pretty spacey on orgasm highs there.

Since then, she continually asks about this toy.  Granted, she can never remember the name, but she always wants to know where the super awesome purple metal toy is.

I tried it as well, obviously. I liked it (I love the feel of cool metal in my cunt, as I warm it up to a pretty hot temperature with just my body heat), but honestly, it wasn’t the cat’s pajamas to me. Perhaps I need to have Q fuck me with it (instead of just playing with it on my own) to really see how it is “supposed” to feel, but I like the shape of the NJoy Pure Wand better, and the stainless steel metal feeling just as much. But that’s just me. Obviously, Q loves it.

I do like that it screws apart at the middle, and if you get other items from the Tantus Alumina line, like the Revolve, you can play tinker toys with your sex toys, and make zombie style dildos for your own personal pleasure.  Also, it’s phthalate free, and easy to clean.  However, they say that you can use the Motion in your butt — I would really suggest AGAINST this, as it has no flanged based, and you REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t want you anus sucking this bad boy up. But then again, that’s just me.

This toy gets five stars (out of five) from Q, and four stars from me. I think it’s a great toy, it just doesn’t hit all of my personal buttons. However, I love the noises Q makes when I use it on her, and really, what more could you want in a toy?

Click here to get your very own Alumina Motion!

-Essin’ Em

In honor of my favorite holiday ever (which also happens to be Q’s favorite holiday as well), I thought I’d post a holiday related HNT. 

Not only is boo on my butt, but it is also sparkly. And really, could anyone ask for anything more? Other than comfy underwear…which these just happen to be.

I’m also a little impressed with myself that I took this picture on my own, without anyone’s help. You know, just to toot my own horn.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday! (and an early Happy Halloween to everyone as well!)

-Essin’ Em

via slutsoft

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #50? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #52? Submit it here before Sunday November 1st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Blogiversary blowout: oodles of sex toys Deadline: October 27, 2009 @ 11:59 p.m. PST.
• They say it’s your birthday! November 8th @ midnight Central.
• Happy Blogiversary to Me Contest! November 18th.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• Liberator Axis by Nadia West

And when you’re not getting it on, you can use it as a back support as you sit up in bed. I think there’s many uses I can come up with for the axis, it’s just a question of creativity and time.

Note: Not only do I think this review is wonderfully succinct and has a great comparison of the Axis and Wedge (something I’ve been wondering about) but I couldn’t help but love the suggestion above as I’m currently lounging against a Whirl and using a Ramp as a laptop table.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Fairy Mini Mini Wand by Epiphora
• LELO Gigi by Undressed Reviews
• Ophoria’s Finger Vibe by Domina Doll
• Zen Tranquility Vibe by Domina Doll

Dildos

• Tantus Sire by Darling Dove
• Tentacle by True Pleasures
• LELO Ella by Darling Dove
• Double Head Fantasy Deluxe by Carrie Ann
• Doc Johnson Large Big Stuff by Melen’s Rayne
• Obama by Domina Doll

Toys for Cocks

• Senso Pocket Gal by namelesschaos

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Boy Butter by Lucius Scribbens
• Sliquid Organics O Gel by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• System JO Flavored Lube by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Intimate Organics Energizing Body Souffle by Melen’s Rayne
• Babeland Body Essentials Kit by Melen’s Rayne
• Tantric Candle by Domina Doll
• Babeland Natural Organic Lube and Pleasure Essentials Kit by Domina Doll
• Flower Balm by Domina Doll
• AloeCadabra Organic Lubricant by Sexorcism

BDSM/Fetish

• Kookie Riding Crop by Melen’s Rayne
• Kookie Riding Crop by Beautiful Dreamer
• Spartacus Bell Clit Clamp by Curvaceous Dee

Adult Books/Games

• A Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn by Toygirl
• The Anal Sex Position Guide by Undressed Reviews
• Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion by Melen’s Rayne

Adult Movies/Porn

• Champion by Kyle Jones
• My Sister’s Lover: A Tale of Interracial Love by J.D. Bauchery
• From Dusk ‘Till Porn by FrzKey
• Beef Jerky: Tim Collins by The Porn Librarian
• NoFauxx Roulette – Scene 3 by J.D. Bauchery
• Scary Sex Movie by FrzKey
• Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out by Domina Doll

Sex Furniture

• Super Sheet by Red
• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Sexorcism

Storage

• Tunti Toybox by Joan Price

Lingerie

• Naughty Nurse by Domina Doll

Miscellaneous

• Stripteuse Kit by Shay
• Fun Factory Smart Balls by Melen’s Rayne
• P-Style by Essin’ Em
• Silky Sheets Spring Rain by Melen’s Rayne

Someone told me I should have more shocking titles, because it meant that people would actually read my posts.  I’m not sure if this one is shocking enough, or if it’ll change my readership, but it was quite fitting.

I don’t hate “breeders” in that I don’t hate straight people.  If you’re unfamiliar with the term breeders, it refers to straight people, hetero people, people having flesh penis in vagina intercourse.

I hate the TERM breeders.  It’s used mostly (although not exclusively) by LGBTQ people to refer to the “straighties” if you will.  

Don’t get it?  See, it comes from the concept that all straight people want babies. Henceforce, they’re breeders. And clearly, lesbian/gay/queer/etc couples can’t make babies, cause you know it’s impossible, so they don’t breed.

Ugh.  Let’s talk about sterotypes. All straight people want to make teh babies. Riiiight. Which is why contraception and birth control and tube tying is so popular.  Hello! Lots of straight/hetero couples are childless by choice.  They don’t little munchkins.  Yet, they still fall under the “breeders” tag.  On the other hand, lots of queer couples are having kiddos, whether via IVF (in-vitro fertilization) or adoption or using a friend of the couple for sperm or eggs. But noooo, they’re not breeders, not even when they are, in fact, breeding.

Basically, it’s a ridiculously stereotyping term, but it’s somehow “ok” because a minority is using it on the majority (think people of color calling white people “crackers”). Why? Broad generalizing terms that are not claimed by the people you’re using them on (if someone WANTS to identify as a breeder, obviously, I completely respect that) is just not a Samuel Adams. 

And that, my dear readers, is why I hate Breeders.

-Essin’ Em

I have written a lot on this here blog about submission over the years. About how I wasn’t sure if I was submissive at points, about how I was sure I was submissive at points, at how I first realized my submissive side during a dream I had when I was ten.  About how I am I feel genuinely submissive to some people I’ve played with, such as K, and how with others, I felt a complete brat, or moreover, like I was playing the wrong role.

I’ve written about this new subject some over the past year, but I figured you can always write about it more.

When I moved back to Denver, I slowly edged my way into the scene, attending parties, munches, classes, etc.  Denver is lucky enough to have three public/membership dungeons, and one really really awesome pro-domination house/private dungeon that happens to throw really cool public parties a few times a month. While my first fetish party was at said pro dungeon, my first scene in Denver was at one of the dungeons…as a submissive. I played there again shortly there after, again as a submissive, even though I had started playing with F as a top, and then a switch, with us giving the power back and forth. Sadly, an incredibly frustrating and a bit of a heart wrenching break up with her made me feel uncomfortable going back to that dungeon, given some of her actions.

So then I started going to more parties at another public dungeon, and at the private one.  While I bottomed occasionally, such as when I had the lovely Mistress Saskia perform fire cupping on me, suddenly, people were asking me more and more to hit them, to top them, to beat THEM up.  I had done it before….before F, then with F. And I had a few skill sets – I’ve been going to BDSM educational classes/workshops for six years.  Ergo, in many situations, I did. I paddled and cropped and caned and flogged. I suddenly learned of the joy of sharp objects, and I began to use vampire gloves and knives as part of my scenes. 

It was odd.  When I identified as a submissive, most people (K was a noted exception) kept asking me if I was sure, if perhaps I wasn’t a switch.  People would tell me they just couldn’t see me as a submissive. It wasn’t that I talked back a lot, or that I “wouldn’t” submit.  They just didn’t get it.

But then, once I started topping people (and in the beginning, it was definitely topping – I wasn’t in the mental space to be dominating people at this point), no one asked me if I was sure I was a top. In fact, people I didn’t know started asking me to top them…quite odd for me, as I was still trying to figure out what was up with my submissive identity.

Since then, I’ve pushed and pulled on parts of myself. Trying to figure things out.  Q came into the picture, and I perverted her life up reeeeeal fast.  Luckily for me, she likes kinky shit. A lot. Not always to the public extent that I do (our first play party was the beginning of May – she didn’t go back with me again until sometime in July), but she humors me.

It’s interesting. I like it when she tops me…and sometimes, even if she doesn’t feel she’s dominating me, I slip into submissive space (yessir nosir, floaty, you know the spiel). However, that does happen very often.  In fact, our relationship has fallen into such a place that she calls me Mistress, I am her Mistress, and she is mine…about 90% of the time. It’s only a sexual thing – she’s not gung ho about service when we’re not sceneing or in a dungeon/club, nor do I want her to be.  She’s not super into pain, but has definitely pushed her limits for me. I’m going to write about this whole Mistress thing at some point.

But it’s not just with Q.  Other Tops/Doms/Dommes/Mistress/Masters let me play with their bottoms/subs/slaves/bois/girls/boys/etc. I’ve had them hand over their partners to me, telling me to cane/slap/bite/paddle/flog/so on them for a while. I personally like it best when they tell me to just do whatever I want to them. I get invited to FemDom socials. Most people in my community see me as a Top/Dominant person who occasionally bottoms.

When did this happen? I have no idea. The first time I fell into a top role, I was in an uncomfortable sexual situation, and that was the only way I could think of getting through said situation without having to take off my clothes (and it worked). From there, it seems to have been a snowball rolling downhill.

And me? How do I identify now? Well, on my Fetlife profile, I identify as a kinkster, because deep down, isn’t that what most of us tend to be? As far as me though, I don’t know. I’m Q’s Mistress, who occasionally bottoms/submits to my partner Q. I top many people at parties and whatnot. I, for a few months, had a house boy, and I was his Domme. I bottom to a select few people; Mistress Saskia, a wonderful man who does excellent fire play with me, Lady Arcayda, and a few others.  When K and I have played, I bottom to him.  So I suppose I’m a switch with dominant tendencies? But really, what does it all even mean?

This is Q’s chest.

One might wonder why there is a giant NO written onto her skin, on said chest.

One might ponder a while, wondering as to why it was there, and one might think it is there because she had done something wrong, and that I was telling her no. Conversely, one might stare at this picture, and conclude that I had told her not to do something, and was re-cnforcing it by carving a reminder into her chest with my nails.

And either one would be wrong.

I have so much fun playing with Q’s breasts, and more specifically with her nipples.  However, she was in the kitchen, cooking dinner for me, wearing only her sports bras (by the by — I want to get her a binder instead. Does anyone have good suggestions?). And it was distracting, because I could just grab a breast in each hand…or slide my fingers over her nipples and elicit such delicious and amazing moaning. And dinner began to take forever, and she was getting concerned that the quinoa was going to burn.

So, I tried to tell myself no. I did, I promise. But they were RIGHT there, and what is a femme suppose to do with a hot butch wearing nothing on top but a few flimsy sports bras? Yeah. I know. Seriously.

Ergo, I created my own solution. I carved NO into her chest with my lovely nails, so that every time I had half a mind to do naughty things to her, to make her shiver and moan and make noises that made me wet, I’d see the NO and remember to stop so that we could eat dinner.

Of course, having carved NO into her chest was just as hot an experience if not more, so we made very quick work of dinner, and proceeded to my bedroom, where we fucked like bunnies. On crack.

The end.

-Essin’ Em

HEADCASE: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, And Queer (LGBTQ) Writers and Artists on Mental Illness Edited by Teresa Theophano, LMSW

Headcase will be an anthology comprised of 15-20 nonfiction pieces by writers and artists both established and new, exploring the theme of mental health, mental illness, and mental health care in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning (LGBTQ) community. The book is currently being considered for publication by a major queer press.

The anthology seeks essays, poetry, and comics by queer consumers of mental health services or queer individuals who have been diagnosed, but do not identify as patients, with mental illness. Works should explore the intersection of queerness and mental health and can include topics such as psychotropics; Gender Identity Disorder and its acceptance or rejection as a legitimate mental disorder; conventional v. holistic treatment; experiences in therapy, groups, and/or institutions; how race and ethnicity, class, sex, gender identity, age, and disability impact access to treatment; addiction, self-medicating, and recovery.

Modest compensation provided upon publication to contributors whose pieces are chosen.

Guidelines:

* Pieces should be between 750 and 1500 words (approximately 3 to 5 double-spaced pages).

* While the deadline for a 2010 publication date has not yet been established, submitting your piece by December 1, 2009 is recommended. Descriptions of pieces in progress are also welcome.

* Submissions should be sent as a Microsoft Word document, double-spaced, 12 pt. font, Times New Roman font.

* Please provide a brief (100 words or less) bio with your submission

Teresa Theophano is a licensed social worker, out queer mental health consumer, and the author of Queer Quotes (Beacon Press, 2004).

Please send submissions/project descriptions to her at headcase_anthology (at) yahoo.com

Want to be peeing in style? Then obviously, you’re missing out unless you have so oh so fabulous P Style.

I got my rocking (albeit pink) P Style courtesy of Babeland, although I have seen them at Hysteria too.

Actually, I’ve wanted one of these for a while, and was ecstatic to get mine in the mail, despite its color (unfortunately you can’t choose the color). There are a million and one reasons to have a P Style:

*Camping (so you don’t have to squat, or if you’re like me and physically can’t squat)

*For trans folk to make going in their identity’s bathroom easier

*Pridefest when all the bathrooms are full

*Events with porta-potties when you don’t want to sit

*For people who can’t easily use toilets the traditional way

*To pee your name in the snow

Ok, so I haven’t tried the last one yet, and since I’m moving to Arizona, I probably won’t get to give peeing my name in the snow a go, but it’s definitely a goal of mine. Otherwise though, it’s pretty awesome.

My first try, I decided to play it safe, and tried it out naked in the shower, in case I failed and it dripped on me or the ground. 

Success! I was able to perfectly aim and hit the drain.  Next stop, naked and the toilet. Again, success.

My only failure came when I tried to use it with regular pants and underwear.  It was hard to get set up, and then I stood there for about 10 minutes, trying to pee. When I sat down, I had to pee, when I stood up, suddenly, no peeing possible. I kept trying this, but epic fail.

Maybe I need more time, more practice. I don’t know. But I DO know that this is a brilliant design.  Not only is it easy to put between your legs and use hands-free, but you can use the back of it to wipe (no toilet paper needed to prevent dripping), and it’s super easy to clean. It’s pretty inexpensive ($12), and you can even easily make a cute little bag to carry it (although it is a bit big to carry around).

All in all, five stars, out of five. I think that with practice, I’ll get better at the whole “peeing standing up thing.” Practice does make perfect.  It’s a great concept, and executed very well. I know my personal one is going to get a lot of good use in the coming months, and even years.

To get in style with your very own P Style, click here!

-Essin’ Em

These pictures for this week’s feisty fall HNT are donated to the lovely Sequoia Redd.  Check her awesome site out!

Anyways, I was talking about all the beautiful colors here in Colorado, and she wanted a picture with lots of the beauty.

Here’s another:

A few of these leaves are fake, because right as the leaves started changing, we had a big snow storm that killed most of the remaining leaves…so I borrowed a few fake ones to make up for it. But I mean, really, with my nipple right there, are you even thinking about the leaves, or more about the nakedness?

And one more to help you to enjoy the fall foliage:

So happy fall to all of y’all, in addition to my usual Happy Half Nekkid Thursday! Enjoy.

-Essin’ Em