Sexuality Happens

This week’s theme is to put up your favorite HNT of this year.

I had a lot of pictures this year that I really liked.  So I put it to a vote…on twitter, amongst my friends, and asking Q.

Hands down, the favorite was this one:

Photo Credit: CrashPadSeries.com

I really liked this whole set of photos from my shoot on Crash Pad. The one above is my favorite.

However, I also really like this one:

Photo Credit: CrashPadSeries.com

Click here to see my bio, and the rest of my pictures from my shoot with Rex.

So with that, Happy (almost) New Year, and Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

I broke down and got a Formspring.  Basically, you use it to ask me questions.  Now, I think it’s kind of silly, because you’re always welcome to ask me questions in my comments, or shoot me an email at essinem at gmail dot com. Or tweet at me. Or facebook me. Etc. I don’t really need something else.  However, I now have one.  So please ask me lots of questions.  I’ll post some of my favorite questions/answers on here as well. Here are two to get you started!

-Essin’ Em

Could you give up sex if you had to?

I think it depends in what context, and for how long.

However, if, for example, Q decided that she had no interested in having sex ever again, would I give it up? No. I would stay with her as my primary, because I love her more than I can express, and that love is definitely more than the fact that she fucks like a saber tooth tiger. However, we’d have to renegotiate our current non-monogamous agreement (that I can fuck Johnny Depp, Jiz Lee and/or anyone for porn, and can play kink wise with others) to expand and included tertiary sexual partners. I can’t fathom giving up sex for the rest of my life.

If a magic genie offered to grant you three, and only three wishes, what would they be? And one of your wishes can’t be to have more wishes ;) by mauikink

Hmmmm.

Wish 3: I would like to have perfect health for me and my loved ones. Yes, I could pay for medical treatments with wish 1. However, I can’t fix everything. I’d rather no one have cavities, and I would like to always be able walk up stairs, and get out of bed, and not live my life around my pain.

I’m not a very spontaneous person, but last Wednesday, I did a very spontaneous thing. I book last minute stand by flights to and from New York so I could go home with Q for Christmas.

I’m Jewish. Christmas has never been a big deal to my family. Perhaps brunch at a nice hotel, or going to see an opening day movie. But then again, holidays have never really been a big deal period.  Latkes for channukah with me, my sister, my mother, and when he was alive, my father.  When I had my bat mitzvah, my uncle, aunt and two of my three cousins attended from Israel, as well as my grandfather and aunt from Florida. My sister’s bat mitvah was the same deal, although a different two cousins.  Right now, my entire family in the world is ten people; my grandfather in FL, my aunt and her partner in Fl, my uncle, aunt and three cousins in Israel, and my mother and sister in CO.  That’s it.

So coming home with Q was…interesting…to say the least. On her father’s side alone, there are 12 or 13 cousins.  Three aunts, three uncles. Grandparents. Great aunts. Grandmother in laws (what?). Dogs. Birds. Etc. We flew in and went straight to her dad’s side’s Christmas Eve dinner. There were at least 25 people at this dinner. Overwhelming to say the least…at to that they are an incredibly enmeshed Italian family on Long Island, and yeah.  A bit crazy.

Christmas day was on her mother’s side.  It was just us two, her sister, her mother, and her two aunts. Plus a visit to Nana after. Much more manageable, but still hard.  Q and two of her cousins are the only three people FROM EITHER SIDE who do not live in New York, or New Jersey. The only ones. Everyone knows everyone’s business (her great aunt on her dad’s side told me she “knew” who I was, because she’d seen me on Q’s facebook!), everyone is giving guilt trips, and mentioning events and people for which I’m completely out of the loop, and poor Q feels overwhelmed, and guilty for not coming home more often, and I feel just…so out of place. People I’ve never met are kissing me on the cheek, I’m making up back stories for what my degree is in, and we’re playing the “do they REALLY understand what it means that we’re partners” game.  Oh yes, add to all this the fact I’m a strict vegetarian (as in no chicken broth in my mashed potatoes, none the less eating little shrimps), and they had less than 24 hours of notice that I was coming.

I’m typing this on the plane on the way home (I actually was supposed to fly out Saturday night. It’s now Monday afternoon).  Everyone has been offering me Zanax (xanax?) all weekend. For anxiety, for family issues, for the high pain problems I’ve been having. Perhaps I should have taken them up on the offer. I am so glad I came – her family IS very nice (some of them actually gave me presents!) and I am in love with her Nana. What a wonderful woman.  It was good to meet all of her family, and I have a better understanding of some of her quirks now.

But I couldn’t do this on any regular basis. I’m exhausted. Q broke down in tears this morning (very rare) because she felt like she was disappointing them by not being home more often, and because she was having Catholic (oh yes, I forgot to mention that part) guilt thrown at her by all sides. I’m so glad they didn’t hate me, or so I think…but I can’t imagine doing this all the time. Q’s sister  lives 20 minutes from everyone, and I see the poor thing being pulled in so many directions, trying to please everyone. It breaks my heart.

I look forward to seeing them again in March, and Christmas next year.  But for once in my life, I’m glad to have a small family that doesn’t put a ton of importance on the holidays.  I’ve been able to get through life so far without popping Xanax and I attribute my distance from and the small size of my family for this.

Give me a day or two, and I’m sure I’ll bounce right back. Let me just say that I have a new level of respect for people in huge families, especially when they live close by.

-Essin’ Em

Today is my first day at Fascinations. I’m their new Online and Emerging Media Specialist, means I’ll be rocking out on Twitter and Facebook for them, as well as writing copy, blog posts, press releases, and more…perhaps expect some video reviews on the way too.  Oh yeah, I’m also their new resident sex educator.  Fancy, I know.

If you haven’t checked them out yet, I suggest you do. They’re the perfect middle between a large, big-box store with everything containing no info/not caring about what they sell, and awesome smaller stores that have great education, but not a ton of selection, hours or locations.

I’m super excited, and can’t wait to see where this will take me. They’ve got a great director of marketing, and I’m really psyched.  Wish me luck!

-Essin’ Em

Haha, made you look.

But how adorable is that? Kali let me wrap her up in a blanket. She doesn’t love it as much as my her leopard print snuggie, but she does love cuddles in blankets. She has stolen and reclaimed the snuggie Q gave me. I can hardly even cuddle in it since the little imp claimed it as her own. Good thing she’s as adorable as she is. I prefer the snuggie to blankets (cause I wear nothing under it, and it keeps me warm when I walk around the house too), but I too suppose I can handle the blankets…if it makes my princess happy.

And just because you came here for the title, I give you two more pictures.

Picture one is of said leopard print snuggie:

Picture two is of my vulva (well, almost):

Love,

-Essin’ Em

This is a continuation of the erotic writing Sex at 2am from a week or two back.

We lay there, all of our limbs entangled, nuzzling one another, showering gentle kisses down upon smooth skin.  My hips were pressed up against her, one of her legs between mine.

Slowly, so slowly that I barely realized I was doing it, I began to work my hips. Forward and back, over and over, up against her leg.  Her leg was nestled perfectly between mine, giving me just a tantalizing glimpse of the stimulation I wanted. Needed. Was craving.

I started moving my hips faster. Hard. With a lot more insistence.  She just continued to hold me in her arms, breathing ever so deeply, almost as thought she didn’t notice me pressing myself against her over and over and over again. As though she couldn’t be troubled by my horniness, and was content to just drift off to sleep.

Sighing, I slowed down my hips. No use in working myself into a frenzy just to have to wait for it to abate as we both slid into the land of dreams.  I held her tighter, and tried to slow my breathing down. Tried to not concentrate on the throbbing making itself very well known between my legs.

And then, before I realized what was happening, she had me on my back, her arms pinning mine above my head. Not a word was spoken, but the power had definitely been exchanged in that moment.

Leaning forward, she placed her mouth on my nipple, beginning by slowly licking and sucking, and working her way into nibbling, biting and pulling. First one, then the other. My hips rose up towards her, hoping to get my engorged clit some of the relief it so desperately needed. Nothing.

However, relief was long in coming.  Putting both of my wrists into just her single hand, she slid halfway off the bed, grabbing a towel to place under me. Returning to the bed, she kissed down the rest of my body, and reached for the bottle of lube.  She squirted some into her hand, and without bothering to warm it up, she reached for my clit.

I gasped at the cold sensation, but before I had the time to really feel the temperature, she was rubbing and teasing me, taking my breath away. It felt so good, but damn it, she knew I couldn’t come just from fingers on my clit. She KNEW she was just firing me up even more. Breath regained, I begged her to fuck me. Begged her for even just a finger or two inside me, something for my aching cunt to clamp down on. She said nothing, just continued to tease my poor, swollen and completely over stimulated clit.

Finally, just when I thought I was going to have to push her off of me, when I thought I couldn’t take it any more, she slammed two fingers into me. I moaned, I groaned, I sucked in air, and then I stopped breathing for a few moments as she just fucked me and fucked me and fucked me.

“Breathe.” Her voice reminded me that air was vital to both living, and to not getting sex-induced migraines. I sucked in more oxygen. As soon as my breathing was slightly more regulated, she added a finger. And then another.  Four fingers fucking me, not letting up, her thumb drawing circles over and over on my clit.

“We’re not playing any games tonight. You can come if you’d like.”

And I did. Over. And over. and over and over and over.  My cunt clenched around her hand as she never let up, fucking me harder and harder as I came on her, clamping down until she couldn’t move her hand, ejaculating on her arm, her hand, the towel, and anything else in the way. Reaching blindly, I grabbed the Hitachi, turning it on low and placing it on my clit.

I held it there and came more. Maybe another 15 times, who knows.  My hand was sore when I let go, almost in pain from clenching the Hitachi so hard. Finally, I came hard enough to knock the wind out of me, and I was done.  I pulled her hand out of me, and pulled her up to me. Koala bear time, I thought as I wrapped my legs around her for cuddling, barely registering the puddle in which we lay.

-Essin’ Em

Below is what I had originally written to go up. But last minute, Q’s father sent me buddy passes to fly back to NY with Q (on stand-by. Let me tell you, my anixiety disorder did NOT like that part) for only $100. So off to New York I went.  And that’s where I am. Voila.

-EE

And I do mean happy holidays.  Regardless of your religion, or spiritual beliefs, or your hate/love of consumerism, I wish you happy holidays.

I am alone in Phoenix. Q is visiting her family in NY. Tickets were over $500, which I can’t afford (and think it’s kind of silly to spend that much money now, when we are planning to visit New York at the end of March for a lot less using Buddy Passes). I’d rather save the extra towards the new car I’m going to need to buy this spring before it gets hot, or towards paying off our massive debt. And I’m going to Denver without her in January (using my Frontier points, so it’s free) without her, so I understand the need to visit your roots. AND I’m not Christian, so it’s not like I’m alone on my holiday.

But I don’t know really anyone here. I have no one to eat Chinese food with and go see Sherlock Holmes with me on Christmas Day (you know, traditional Jew celebration). I don’t have other things to distract me.

So I’m going to make some of my own traditions. Perhaps cooking something special. Cuddling with the kitties while I watch bad shark movies and re-watch Season 1 of Dexter. Who knows? But I shall make my own holidays, and not be limited by Chinese food and movies in the theatres.

Happy Holidays, however your celebrate (or don’t) to one and all!

-Essin’ Em

SO for this week’s HNT, rather than a picture, we’re to choose holiday wishes to wish upon three bloggers. Not actually something, but something we’d give them if we had the time/money/opportunity/ability/etc.

Number one:

I’d give Britni (britisstillshameless.blogspot.com/) the ability to be with her partner/Dom/Master all the time.  There are so many things keeping them apart right now, and I see the pain that this causes her. If I had the ability, I’d bring them to the same location, with the legal ability to be together with no problems, and all of that awesomeness.

Number two:

I’d give the lovely Curvaceous Dee (curvaceousdee.blogspot.com) an all expenses paid trip to come on a vacation (with as many or few of her partners as she’d like) in the US, so I can finally meet her, and she can enjoy some good,  and much needed relaxation.

Number three:

I’d give Jiz Lee a win at the AVNs in January. Here is the list of nominees.  It includes lots of awesome queer people and companies (which is AWESOME), but I feel Jiz Lee has done so much not only in the queer and porn communities, but for all of her communities as a whole, and it would be great if he got recognition for all of hir amazing actions and performances.

And here is a picture, just for you, since it’s Erev Christmas and all of that.  It’s our holiday shrubbery (Q is Christian, I’m Jewish, and we both enjoy Monty Python). See if you can find Kinsey hidden in the picture.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

HNT Courtesy of 13Messages

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Claiming: Assume the Position

I’ve started reviewing for another company. They’re called Trinity Romance, and they are based in Canada. Both a brick and mortar store as well as a website, they pride themselves in only selling phthalate free products.  In addition to being sex-positive, they are also environmentally conscious - they even sell bamboo underwear (I know, they sent me a lovely pair as an affiliate welcome gift. Super comfy!)

Here is a little from their “about us:”

Trinity Romance Shop is a socially responsible, community minded, health conscious retail outlet located in the small mountain town of Squamish, in between Vancouver, and Whistler. We are a small operation priding ourselves on the customer service that we give as well as the quality products that we sell. Due to lack of government regulations it has forced our industry to be self regulated in terms of healthy, non-toxic products that are available in the marketplace. We at Trinity pride ourselves in the lines that we distribute, and the manner in which our consumer is educated. Discretion and a comfortable, unique, informative atmosphere where consumers can explore their more intimate side are paramount in our approach to meet our customers needs.

With that said, they were kind enough to send me Ducky Doolittle’s book Sex With the Lights On.

Now, I own a lot of sex books/guides/etc. However, I’ve sadly missed out on owning this book until just now. I follow the author on my twitter, and love hearing what she has to say.  Her book was definitely a must have.

It’s arranged in different categories, from chapters about body parts to chapters about activities. What makes it different than most sex books? Instead of an information only format, the majority of the book is written in a question and answer basis, again, divided by subjects. She also includes some fun facts, little paragraphs of info in some sections, on some great real life experiences/thoughts/quotes from actual people.

If you own every sex book out there (which I am on my way to doing…), it’s not going to be so much awesome.  It does contain a lot of the same info as other books because let’s face it – sex info is sex info. However, she does it in a fun, no pressure, definitely not scary way, which is very much needed in today’s culture. Reading Sex with the Lights On is kind of like having a sex conversation with a close friends or trusted educator; you know you’re getting accurate info, but it’s just fun to talk about it instead of being boring or intimidating.

I’d suggest this as a great book for a newly minted sex-positive friend, for a teen/college aged young adult asking for sex info/advice, or for someone look at opening their mind, and possibly experimenting sexually, and wanted some good, solid 411 before they jump off the deep end. Great holiday/birthday/any day of the year gift.  I’m glad to have it on my self, as I’m constantly lending out books, and know this one will be frequently borrowed.

Want to get your own copy of Sex With the Lights On? Click here!

-Essin’ Em