Comments on: Coming Out About Coming Out http://essin-em.com/2009/12/coming-out-about-coming-out/ Tue, 02 Aug 2011 03:39:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Callaigh http://essin-em.com/2009/12/coming-out-about-coming-out/comment-page-1/#comment-10604 Callaigh Sun, 13 Dec 2009 19:34:59 +0000 http://essin-em.com/?p=3048#comment-10604 @Morquendu: Why not hug and congratulate them, as well? In both cases of coming out (assumed-straight to GLB and/or T and assumed-dyke to bi) the person involved has figured out something new about themselves and had the courage to overturn the prevailing assumption about them, even if that might result in censure from their social circle. I'd say that's worthy of congratulating, as is any breakthrough in self-knowledge. @Morquendu: Why not hug and congratulate them, as well? In both cases of coming out (assumed-straight to GLB and/or T and assumed-dyke to bi) the person involved has figured out something new about themselves and had the courage to overturn the prevailing assumption about them, even if that might result in censure from their social circle. I’d say that’s worthy of congratulating, as is any breakthrough in self-knowledge.

]]> By: Moriquendu http://essin-em.com/2009/12/coming-out-about-coming-out/comment-page-1/#comment-10601 Moriquendu Sun, 13 Dec 2009 05:27:28 +0000 http://essin-em.com/?p=3048#comment-10601 I've never done it (representin' the B and T in GLBT!) but when I heard my stereotypically butch dyke friend came out as being bi and having a male friend-with-benefits, I stared at the mutual friend who had told me, shaking my head in disbelief for a good five minutes while trying to form words and failing. We didn't have a problem with it, even decided we would beat up her new "friend" if he was an asshole and talked about "turning her bi" (he didn't), but it was just so *weird*! If one of my straight friends came out as GLBT, I could hug them or congratulate them or something, but what do you do for someone who comes out as not-gay-anymore? I’ve never done it (representin’ the B and T in GLBT!) but when I heard my stereotypically butch dyke friend came out as being bi and having a male friend-with-benefits, I stared at the mutual friend who had told me, shaking my head in disbelief for a good five minutes while trying to form words and failing. We didn’t have a problem with it, even decided we would beat up her new “friend” if he was an asshole and talked about “turning her bi” (he didn’t), but it was just so *weird*! If one of my straight friends came out as GLBT, I could hug them or congratulate them or something, but what do you do for someone who comes out as not-gay-anymore?

]]> By: Garnet Joyce http://essin-em.com/2009/12/coming-out-about-coming-out/comment-page-1/#comment-10600 Garnet Joyce Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:00:34 +0000 http://essin-em.com/?p=3048#comment-10600 I guess the way I see it is that most people just assume you are of the majority unless you prove otherwise. Most don't need to come out as straight, monogamous, or vanilla because its just assumed that's what they are. But like you said, it depends on your community. For example I have to come out as monogamous because often my community will assume otherwise. So in general, coming out is about changing assumptions. And maybe some day there will be such a diversity that there will be no assumptions, but I'm not holding my breath I guess the way I see it is that most people just assume you are of the majority unless you prove otherwise. Most don’t need to come out as straight, monogamous, or vanilla because its just assumed that’s what they are. But like you said, it depends on your community. For example I have to come out as monogamous because often my community will assume otherwise.

So in general, coming out is about changing assumptions. And maybe some day there will be such a diversity that there will be no assumptions, but I’m not holding my breath

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