Archive for January, 2010
Sex Toy Review: 365 Calendar
Need a reason to have sex? I mean, other than just the tried and true “I want to have sex” one?
Luckily for you, there is now a calender…you know those tear-off-a-day-every-day calendars? This one is special – it provides 365 Reasons to Have Sex. Yup. Furnished to me by the awesome, sex-positive toy company Babeland.
Now, I’m bad at these calendar. You’re probably asking yourself (and me!) how one could be actually bad at a calendar. Well, I, like many people, have a bad tendency to forget about my day-by-day part of the calendar, and never remember to tear off the bloody days. Luckily, this calendar is a bit different than ye olde Far Side day-by-day calendars. It has reasons to have sex. Ergo, I am much more excited to tear off the days, as I want to see what reason they have next. Even if it isn’t something I can use or even want to use, perhaps I’ll text it to Q to give her a good laught(and hell, sometimes it works!)
So…the reasons. The whole, well, REASON for the calendar. How are they?
Some of them are brilliant. Some of them are silly. Some of them are kind of ridiculous. And some…well…meh. But that’s to be expected with 365 reasons. I liked that each page also had a way to communicate the reason to your partner/possible partner including how bad you want sex (please/pretty please/or else/etc), where and when, what to bring, etc. I also liked the pick up line options on the bottom.
Some were offensive. They were. I’m going to put that out there. I don’t know how I would feel about having gotten this as a gift. However, it is very gender neutral, and if you have someone that has this type of sense of humor (not always PC), this would be a great gift for them, for sure!
Click here to get a calendar for yourself, for a friend, for family. Everyone could always use another 365 reasons to have sex.
-Essin’ Em
No comments
Queer Playboy Bunny HNT
I finally took all my Halloween picture off of my camera. It was so crazy during the move that I *just* now got to them.
Q went as a queer Hugh Hefner (asking permission to post a picture – she looked AMAZING), and I in turn went as a queer playboy bunny. We felt it was quite amusing, and perfect for us, and everyone of our friends “got” it and thought it was hilarious. Plus I got to wear ears and a tail and a corset!
I actually think I looked pretty darn cute. And it was comfy…except for it was cold, since that was the giant Denver Snowstorm of Death right before we left.
Enjoy!
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday to you all!
-Essin’ Em
4 commentsFisting Class In Denver on Jan 14th
Photo Credit: John Foley
What? Vagina Fisting For One and All
Where? The Denver Sanctuary
When? January 14th, 7pm-9pm
Cost? $5 per person
Who? Sex Educator and Professional Pervert Shanna Katz (aka Essin’ Em)
Description from FetLife:
Thursday, January 14th 2010
The Denver Sanctuary kicks off the new year with a class on one of my personal favorite activities – FISTING! Vaginal fisting that is.
Presenter Essin’ Em/Shanna Katz will be in town for a few days to offer the class that she had to cancel when she moved from Denver to Phoenix.
She taught this class for a WICK’D Party one night and I had the honor of being the bottom for that class. I can honestly say first hand (or fist) that she is a fabulous presenter on this topic.
I, personally, find fisting an activity that results in the most intense experiences. I also find it often results in ejaculation from the increased stimulation. However, there is a technique to it and safety concerns that need to be addresses. Essin’ Em covers them in a manner that has everyone at ease, even laughing.
This is a class not to be missed.
I hope to see some of you there. Feel free to repost!
-Essin’ Em
No commentsGoing the the AVNs and the AEE!
Last week was my first (half) week at my new job with Fascinations (www.FunLove.com). You can also follow us on twitter.com/fascinationsfun or facebook.com/fascinations.
It was pretty awesome…but it gets even better. I’ll be going this weekend to Las Vegas for the AVN Awards (think Oscars of porn) and the Adult Entertainment Expo. It’s always been something I wanted to go to, and this year is *the* year for it. My celeb crush/friend Jiz Lee is nominated for Best New Web Starlet, Tristan Taormino is nominated (again) as best director, and other awesome queer/feminist nominations include Dylan Ryan’s scene on CrashPadSeries.com, Babeland, Good Vibrations, NoFauxxx‘s Courtney Trouble (best soundtracks), the sexy Madison Young and more. I’m so excited that queer and feminist porn/sex-positive shops are getting such great recognition!
More over, Fascinations is donating a raffle basket to Kelly Shibari’s Breasts and Bondage Fundraiser (for breast cancer), so I’m excited to be attending that.
On Friday the 8th, I’ll be attending the panel on women in adult entertainment (porn and retail) at the AEE, with many awesome feminist and queer speakers, and then hopefully seeing the awesome Jamye Waxman.
Saturday night, the sexy Always Aroused Girl will be my date to the AVN Awards. We’re both going to look sassy.
If you’re going, and have a moment to come chat with me, or want to meet up, do drinks/tea/dinner/etc, drop me a line. I’d love to see you while I’m there!
-Essin’ Em
5 commentsNothing is perfect, which is why there is communication
Nothing is perfect, no matter how hard we try.
Sometimes people have asked me via email, twitter, comments and in person, how Q and I have this perfectly perfect relationship.
The answer is that it ISN’T perfect. But we communicate about the imperfections, and we move on.
There are nights when we’re falling asleep, and I wind up crying because she didn’t tell me she loved me before she passed out. It’s a weird issue I have from my dad dying when i was 13, and she’s usually REALLY good about it. But if I’m in vulnerable place already, and she’s tired and forgets, it might set me off. So she hugs me and she holds me (after she asks if I’m crying and I valiantly try to shake my head and she tells me not to lie to her and I tell her I could never lie to her really), and we talk about what it was that set me off.
Or one of us brings up something about gender, and she cries, and I think I said something wrong, and it was really just the conversation about gender that set her off, and we talk about it, and hold each other, and discuss it and she lets it out, and we cuddle.
When we came back from New York, we had the worst fight we’d ever had. Over the cat litter. Why? Neither of us had slept in two days, we hadn’t had any time alone as just us in five days, we’d been traveling all day, and were stressed. So I got frustrated that she was sleeping and Jasper was trying to pee outside the litter box because it was a mess and she’d forgotten to tell me we were out of litter and she got upset that I was frustrated, and kaBOOM. I left sobbing, driving to three groceries at midnight (all closed) trying to get cat litter. Then I came home, and we crawled into bed, holding each other, telling each other how much we loved each other, and how sorry we were. The next day we talked about the fight, how it came to be, I bought cat litter, and she changed the litter boxes. Then we fucked. And we talked some more.
We talk about everything. Even if it seems little, menial or unimportant. I tell her when something she’s said doesn’t sit right with me. She tells me if I get over plan-y (as I am often). Little things, yes, but we talk about it before it becomes something big. We tell each other we love each other all the time. We set aside talking time. We have date night. We never ever go to bed angry, or at the very least without discussing it.
And that is why, even though our relationship is not perfect, even though each of us has a plethora of flaws and issues and nit-picking, we are able to maintain this wonderful relationship with one another, without driving each other crazy.
People ask what’s wrong with people today, why relationships don’t last. My thoughts? Turn off the TV. Shut the computer. Put your cell phone on stun. Talk to your partner. Not just about their day, but about them. How are they feeling? Are they happy/sad/mad/upset/worried/frustrated/satisfied/etc? What else do they need? What else do they want? If you can’t communicate with your partner (and they with you, and you each with yourselves), how can any relationship work?
-Essin’ Em
8 commentsE-Lust #4
HNT Courtesy of Molls (via Eat The Cake NYC)
Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #5? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦
Interrogation - I looked up at him, feigning cluelessness. “I know you can understand me. So I ask you again. Where are the lenses?” Another strike. I crumpled into the bench.
Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me….
Fire and Ice – The rain comes down harder around us, the freezing drop pelting whatever skin lies exposed over the surface of the water.
◊ e[lust] Editress ◊
By the Twinkling Lights… - His lips found my nipples and I forgot about the cold. If a car were to drive by and the passengers were to look past the twinkling lights on the tree, they would have seen a naked woman’s rear end pressed against the glass wall..
♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦
Ronjazz: Late Night Rendezvous - Meet me in the parking lot at the post with the broken lamp. 10PM sharp! Do not be late! Stand facing the post, eyes closed. Wear a flimsy dress and heels – nothing else!
See also: Pleasurists #58 and #59 for all your sex toy review needs
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Erotic Writing
The Slut Chronicles #10 ~ The Interview
Today’s Specials: Orgasms, Wet Panties, and Margaritas
Kink & Fetish
My very first experience of BDSM
Play Piercing? Seriously? Why?!?
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Ask The Negress: Privacy & Perversion.
Gyne-Vestiphobia: Fear of Women’s Clothing
On My Experience With Sex Toys
Riding The Crimson Wave – Having Sex On Your Period
The Gangbang as Social Commentary
TPE (Total Power Exchange): A Novice’s Perspective
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Sex Toy Review: Sliquid Silk Hybrid Formula
I haven’t gotten to review a lube in a while, so I’m glad that a certain sex toys company sent me some Sliquid Silk Hybrid Formula to review, even more so since I’ve been hearing such great things about sliquid, yet never got to try it. I have and love my Maximus (for water based) and my Eros Bodyglide (for silicone based) – Sliquid Silk Hybrid Formula is actually a combo of both water based lubes and silicone lubes. I couldn’t wait to give it a go.
Lube is ridiculously important. Q and I have long sex sessions, often times more than 2 hours. While she does lubricate quite a bit naturally, that usually winds up winding down after the first 30 or 40 minutes. I have never been a big lubricator, and so I always always always need lube. Ergo, I’m constantly on the hunt for the perfect lube. This one is not, in fact, perfect, if for nothing else than it contains silicone, and therefore CANNOT be used with silicone toys. Please keep this in mind. On the other hand, it is both glycerin AND paraben free, so it’s 100% body healthy.
However, the bottle is hilarious. It claims to last longer than most Hollywood marriages. I was reading it out loud to Q as I fucked her with our new ceramic dildo, and we both got a good laugh out of it. It’s a very thick, viscous-y lube, like most water based lubes, but smoother, like most silicone lubes. It’s white, rather than clear, and looks like either vaginal fluid or semen. Which is kind of cool and kind of gross…but at the same time.
With the ceramic dildo, it didn’t, in fact, last longer than a Hollywood marriage. In fact, I had to re-apply multiple times in a 25 minute fuck session…which was more than annoying. Q was quite under impressed.
However, when she was fucking me (sans insertables, with just her oh so fabulous, should-be-marketed-as-a-sex-toy hand), it actually worked really well. It was just the right amount of lubrication, it felt smooth, it kept going and going, and unlike water based lube, my ejaculatory love (as Q calls it) didn’t wash it away.
So…I like it for being fucked by hand. It wasn’t too shabby on my clit when I used the Hitachi on it. However, if you’re using toys, it definitely dries up far faster than I like in a lube. Final verdict? If you’re having flesh on flesh fucking (fingers, hands, penises, feet, etc), it’s brilliant. If you’re wanting to use some sex-cessories, than it leaves something to be desired. I’m going to keep it on hand for Q’s hand, but there are much better water-based lubes for playing with toys.
Love lube and want to give this one a try? Click here to get your own bottle.
-Essin’ Em
2 commentsHappy New Year!
On 16th Street in Denver last year for New Year
Last year…I found myself wandering alone on 16th street in Downtown Denver until I ran into some friends of my Ex (F) and F’s sister…and this guy I’d had a crush on back when I was 13 and in HS.
I made out with him on New Years. He was the best kisser of any of the cisgender guys I’ve kissed (a LOT and 98% of them were horrible kissers), and he was fun.
I actually got a bit of a crush on him…until I found out he has NO interested in me…not because of my personality or looks. But because I was queer, or in his eyes, a lesbian. He told a mutual friend that he’d “never” consider having sex or dating a lesbian, or even a bisexual woman. Why? Because it was hard enough competing with other men…why would he want to compete with women as well?
Yeah. Total douche hat. I hate that dumb statement. Lesbians often say the same thing about dating/fucking bisexual women. It is just as bigoted there.
Luckily, I found the right person for me. She doesn’t care who I find attractive, as long as I make kitty and dino noises, and we fuck each other senseless. I have no idea what we’re going to do this year, and what life has in store for us, but there isn’t anyone else I’d rather have by my side.
You can also read my new year wishes in my Front Range Femme Column at Out Front Colorado.
Happy New Year to one and all!
-Essin’ Em
1 comment
