Sexuality Happens

I was really excited about this book, and not just because I have a bit of a fetish for collecting every sexuality based book IN THE WORLD (ok, not really, but close). Moregasm is Babeland’s new Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, written by the owners/founders of the lovely Babeland (who sent me this book to review. Take that FTC).

Why was I so excited? Because I was really for an all-encompassing, queer and straight friendly, monogamous and non-monogamous, rocking sex ed book, ready to take the world by storm. As a whole, Babeland is a great company, providing accessible and inclusive sex education to people of various genders, identities, backgrounds and more.

Maybe I hyped it up too much in my own mind, but I do have to say that I wound up being disappointed.

Some parts were great. I loved that they showed different XX bodies; women, genderqueer, gender fuckers, different races, different sizes, etc. Awesome.  They also showed lots of different vulvas, showing that everyone is unique. Again, awesome. They did a great job with talking about cuntacular/vulvar plumbing.

But then the poor pensises didn’t get that kind of love. There weren’t pictures of lots of different XY bodies.  Nor were there pictures of different types of pensises, to help normalize different sizes/shapes/circumcized/uncut.  I remember the first time I saw an uncut penis in a text book in college, and it was a whole different world to me.  Lots of people have never seen one, or are concerned about their size, whether they are curved or not, etc.  I thought it was kind of sad that they chose not to show the awesome variety of men out there.

So I started thinking that maybe this should be called the Queer Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, which, in my mind is a needed book, and that would be awesome.  Yes, Babeland is women focused, but the poor cis guys were getting the short end of the stick here.

Never fear; the chapters on blow jobs and intercourse completely reinforced hetero-normitivity.  All the illustrations showed a traditional looking woman (pretty hair and all) with a traditonal looking man (biceps and all).  Cause you know queer people don’t give blow jobs or have sex.  The strap on section was ridiculous short, and not as inclusive as I had hope.

What did they do well? I thought they showed off a great variety of sex positive toys in all of the chapters. The one exception to this was the lube chapter, where they ONLY showed Babeland lube. Now, Babeland carries other awesome lubes, like Maximus, so it wouldn’t be promoting something they don’t carry, and I know I personally get yeast infections from their Organic Babeland Lube. Ergo, I don’t know why they didn’t expand that chapter.

The book itself is beautiful; I love the color, the pictures inside, the quality. I love the list of resources in the back. I love the relaxed tone they use to talk about sex (although I’d say that lots of women/gender queer people with cunts, myself included, don’t like being refered to as “babe” but I totally get that it IS “Babe”-land).

I think this book would be good for an open minded straight couple, or maybe a therapist working with lots of hetero couples. I’d give it 2 or 3 stars (out of 5), because it is well written, but I was just really sad not to have an inclusive book coming from such a great company.

Click here to be the owner of your own copy of Moregasm.

-Essin’ Em

Photo Credit: Hawksdream

I found this cow coat at a vintage thrift store in college.  It was $50, but it was 20%, and I came back to look at it about a million times that day, so I wound up buying it, thinking it was a ridiculous purchase.

One of the best decisions of my life.

I love this coat. It’s faux fur, in case you were even wondering (would never wear real fur). It’s warm, it’s fabulous, and it goes with any outfit; sexy, casual, dressy, you name it.  Plus, when I wear it, people always compliment, or at least come over to chat me up because I’m wearing such a crazy awesome coat.

Does it go with the leopard print heels? No, not really.  But do I love this coat, and this picture of it? But of course!

Oh yeah. It’s Olympic week at HNT. This is Olympic-y because I’m wearing a warm coat when it’s 65 degrees in AZ. In honor of the cold of Canada.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday y’all!

-Essin’ Em

Hey all –

Someone was kind enough to nominate me for a Lezzy, which is an award for lesbian authored blogs. I’ve been nominated in the  Sex/Short Story/Erotic blog category.

I didn’t post this before, because I don’t really identify as a lesbian; I identify as queer. However, I get where they are coming from with this, and would love to make it to the top three.

How do I do this? I need more nominations. You can nominate one blog (URL) per category per 24 hour period. All you do is fill out a little form, and then click on the email to confirm (the email part is important, or else it doesn’t count).

If I don’t make it into the top three, that’s fine. My happiness doesn’t rest on this. However, I think it would be awesome if I did a) because it’s awesome, b) because I’m a lot of different things (kinky, queer, disabled, non-mongamous in some counts, femme, Jewish, alternative, fat, etc) and would love to get to rep all of that and c) because it would be nice to have a queer person win and explain WHY I don’t identify as a lesbian.

If you’re up for helping me out, please CLICK HERE to nominate me, or just type in TheLesbianLifesyle.com whenever you get a chance. Remember, you can vote once a day!

Thanks in advance for your support!

-Essin’ Em

As many of you know, I’ve been working for Fascinations as their online media specialist and resident sex educator.

This Thursday, Feb 18th (aka, tomorrow!), I’ll be putting on a free workshop at one of our Scottsdale, AZ stores called “What’s In Your Toy Box.” It’ll be a great sex toy 101 on what toys are designed for, how they can be used, the care, storage and cleaning of sex toys, other ways you can use them, etc.  Should be lots of fun.

For more information, click here for our blog post on the subject. Would love to see you there!

I have a kind of confession. It’s only kind of a confession, because my friends all know this about me.

I LOVE taking care of people.

In college, I’d drive around on many weekend nights (before I started going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show weekly) in my mini van and then Stratus, blaring 80′s music, picking up my drunk friends and driving them back to campus. Then, when I was an RA, I was the person that would make tea for sick residents, give chocolate to homesick/broken hearted residents, tuck in drunk residents with a Nalgene full of water.

I love taking care of friends who are sad, hurting, broken hearted, sick, recovering from surgery, etc.

Weird? Yes. It’s just who I am.  Someone told me it’s because I’m a 2 (enneagram something?), others because I am a caretaker personality, and some because I’m counter-dependent.

So it’s been frustrating to me that in the over 14 months we’ve been together, Q has never been sick. I’ve been sick multiple times, plus pain days, plus surgery recovery. She’s had to take care of me a lot. I never got the chance until know to do it for her. 

I mean sure, I’ve had nights where I’ve cooked of her, brought her everything she needed, given her a back massage, and fucked her silly for hours. Yes, in a way, that IS taking care of her. I’ve also been there for her during gender breakdowns and other cry sessions, but those are few and far between; she’s not one to really show her emotions.

But this past weekend, Q got sick.  It was sad, as we had to cancel plans with friends, and the couples massage I’d scheduled. Plus, she’s not sick very often (we’re talking a cold once every two years), so she was sad and grumpy about being sick.

However, it was so nice. Because it was the weekend, I was home, and I could take care of her. I made her tea regularly (interspersed with Emergen-C, Jamba Juice and Theraflu), I went out to get her lots of foods that she wanted, walked over to get more Nyquil, tucker her in, forced her into hot showers, cleaned up her tissues, rubbed Vicks vapor rub on her chest, scratched her head as she fell asleep, etc.

And I loved it.

Obviously, I don’t WANT her to be sick. I know how much I hate being sick, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. However, it’s nice to know that I’ve still got it, that I still have that Jewish mom (without kids) vibe that I enjoy getting to rock out with so much!

-Essin’ Em

Lots of people have been asking me about how my new job at Fascinations as their Resident Sex Educator and Online Media Specialist is going. The answer? Just swimmingly.  As you can see above, they got our sex ed department a full sized vulva puppet, who we’ve named Vivian the Vivacious Vulva. Side note: a reader bought me a mini vulva puppet, who is ADORABLE, and who I’ve named Veronica, for when I do my own sex ed classes.

Anyways, the above picture is at a Let’s Talk Sex open house. We’ve been doing some sex ed classes, with Tristan Taormino and Oh Meghan, and are really looking to expand this spring.  We’ve got a whole list of awesome educators that I can’t tell you about till they’re confirmed, but it’s going to be super cool.

Obviously, I went to Vegas for the AEE and AVNs.  It was awesome. But we’ve already talked about that.  Let’s talk about new things.

We’ve stopped selling anal eaze, shrink creams and numbing balms on our site. You can read about it here.  Taking it out of stores will be a longer process that involves educating the customer, but we’re on that too.

We’ll be working with Sex 2.0 on sponsorship of this awesome event.

We’ll be doing video reviews on our blog.

We’re sending out other items to be reviewed and or given away on other blogs.

We’re consistantly rocking out on our facebook and twitter, including giveaways.

In many of our stores, we now carry Good Releasing titles, and will have them online soon!

Soon, we’ll have an awesome new affiliate program where we’ll have a 30% commission payout! (info coming on that).

We’ve brought some great sex education writers on board as well.

I got to go give an awesome safer sex/general sexuality talk to a dorm on the ASU campus…including tons of free condoms, lube, some dams, and toy giveways.

I also got to go with Q (not pictured obviously) to the Arizona Fetish Ball, as seen below:

Plus, we’re giving members of local kink organizations in AZ and CO 10% off of all in store purchases.

Yeah. While the whole getting up ridiculously early to get to work thing is frustrating (my ideal work schedule; 10am-7pm), I do love this job, and I’m so excited about the change we’re enacting at FunLove.com.

-Essin’ Em

I know everyone is writing about Valentine’s day, cause that’s what you do on Feb 14th right?

Q and I don’t really believe in a specific day that you tell each other you love each other; we do it every day.

Plus, I wrote about Valentine’s Day and Singles Awareness Day last year.

So we won’t really be celebrating; I got her a binder that she wanted for her chest.  Yesterday, we went and got couples massages; hers to relax, mine to work on preventing migraines. And a lovely reader of mine actually bought me a mini vulva puppet, as per my request.

So instead, you get a few old school heart pin-up pictures by Ken Norcross circa 2008:

Photo Credit: Hawksdream

To those of you who may have missed the multiple but sometimes not attention grabbing memos, I am, when not writing under this pen name, a fabulous Sexuality Educator and fisting faciliator and all that jazz.

In order to find out where I’m going to put on classes/workshops/trainings,etc, to hire me to teach/consult/train/lecture/etc, to learn about me, to find out about sex coaching I can provide, to contact me regarding sexuality education, etc…

I’d like to present the new, and oh so improved (thanks to the lovely AAG!), and accented with leopard print (of course!),

www.ShannaKatz.com

That is all. Please enjoy. I have some blog posts there (more educations/news based/informative) than the ones on here, I have my schedule, contact info, and so on.  Have fun, and enjoy your Saturday.

by Jen Dixon via modelmayhem

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #63? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #65? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then you can use our submission form and submit it before Sunday February 7th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Cupid’s Fun Factory Contest Deadline: February 10th @ 11:59pm.
• Vagazzle Your VaJayJay! Deadline: February 13th.
• Glass Plug Contest! Deadline: February 14th.
• Love is Back Deadline: February 14th @ 11:59 Eastern.
• Now’s Your Chance for a Second Valentine’s Day! Deadline: February 15th @ 11:00 am CST.
• Silver Bullet Giveaway Daedline: February 16th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
• Porn & Fleshlights Deadline: On Saturday nights each week in February.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #7

Editor’s Pick

• LELO Ina by Raven Quince

Yes! Yes! Yes! Do it again! Mmmmmm! Wow. Thank you, baby.

INA has given me insta-orgasms. On my first try, despite not knowing how to work the controller and accidentally attempting to insert both parts of it into me, I fumbled my way to a gushing orgasm in just a few quick minutes. The second trial included my husband’s cock and a butt plug – I came strongly and in no time flat. INA my new best friend.

Note: Possibly the most adorable LELO review ever! Who doesn’t love to see photos of the reviewer in a bunny suit to celebrate LELO’s awesome rabbit vibe! Seriously, go look at the pictures and read it.

Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Better Than Chocolate by Sammi
• LELO Gigi by Britni TheVadgeWig
• Velvet Sweet Heart by LikeSunshineDust
• Better Than Chocolate by Saraid
• Layaspot by Undressed Reviews
• Touche Ice by Alley
• My Cute Tickler by Pretty Power Tools
• Madame Butterfly Pillow Stimulator by The Duchess
• Venus Butterfly by Rori
• Kiwi by Alley
• Onye Fleur by Carnivalesq
• 1969 L’insolite by Pretty Power Tools
• Sqweel by Sexorcism
• Satisfied by Alley
• LELO Elise by BootyBandit
• KiWi by Carrie Ann
• Passion Flower G by Alley
• Fun Factory Dinky Digger by Kynky Kytty
• C-Teaser by Carrie Ann
• Sex Tarts Kit by Alley
• LELO Ina by Carnivalesq
• Onye Fleur by Alley
• Wahl by namelesschaos
• Little Chroma by Carrie Ann
• LELO Elise by Joan Price
• Jimmyjane Form 2 by Joan Price
• SaSi by Domina Doll

Dildos

• LELO Ella by Lady Evyl
• LELO Ella by Britni TheVadgeWig
• Rascal O2 by Britni TheVadgeWig
• G-Pop by Domina Doll
• Fun Factory Whirly by Kynky Kytty
• LELO Ella by Wilhelmina Wang
• Radiant Gems Ballsy Cock by Sammi
• Jollie by Joan Price
• Fun Factory Scrudy by Kynky Kytty

Anal Toys

• Bendy Beads by Essin’ Em
• LELO Billy by Mistress Kay
• Ryder by namelesschaos
• Nexus Excel by Red
• The Fury by Profligacy
• LELO Billy by Kiss My Kitty
• Crystal Delights by Domina Doll
• Doc Johnson Anal Probe by BootyBandit

Toys for Cocks

• Tenga Egg by Nadia West
• Double Cock Ring by Kiss My Kitty

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Intimate Organics Relaxing Lemongrass & Coconut Cleansing Gel by Saraid
• Aromatheraphy Foaming Bath by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Kinklab Vampire Gloves by Domina Doll
• Basic Breathe Easy Ball Gag by Undressed Reviews
• Silver Prongs Nipple Jewelry by Red
• Fur Tickler & Flogger by Domina Doll
• Sinvention Silicone Ball Gag by BootyBandit
• Zomi Cuffs Kit by Domina Doll

Adult Books & Games

• Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot & Orchid G Combo by Undressed Reviews
• Safe World by Mistress Kay
• Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot & Orchid G Combo by EffinSara
• Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot & Orchid G Combo by Lady Evyl
• Discover Your Lover by Mistress Kay
• Hugs and Kisses Coupon Book by Mistress Kay
• Moregasm by Juliettia
• “Fetish” the Board Game by Mistress Kay
• Carrie’s Story by Alley
• The Human Pony by Mistress Kay

Adult Movies/Porn

• Nostalgia by Epiphora
• Speakeasy by Epiphora
• Roulette by Epiphora
• Roulette Berlin by Epiphora
• Roulette Dirty South by Epiphora
• Seven Minutes in Heaven by Epiphora
• Seven Minutes in Heaven 2 by Epiphora
• Nostalgia by Domina Doll

Storage

• Tunti Illuminated Boudoir Case by Pretty Power Tools

Lingerie

• Brocade Mini Skirt by Red

Miscellaneous

• Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo Uno and Duo by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Fascinator Throe by Shanna Katz
• Off With Your Head by EffinSara
• The Hitachi Magic Wand Accessory Kit by Mistress Kay
• Eat Whatever Mints by Sexorcism

When I was back in Denver in January, I got to do a fun shoot with the photographer Hawksdream, as well as part of the shoot with two other models.  One I know is ok having her face up online, as she has an MM profile.  The other one, I’m not sure, so you get a photo that has a delightful view of one of her best ass-ets. Her ass.

I had a lot of fun with this shoot, especially the teacher/school room part.  I really like the nuturing yet strict dominant role, and got to play with that a lot, both in setting up the shoots/poses/etc, but also in using rulers, switches, paddles, etc on two very sweet and “oh so innocent” (not!) school girls.  I’m hoping I can put up more from this part of the shoot, as they came out really well, but have to check with the other model first.

So happy half nekkid thursday! You get clevage, ass, and an adorable smile, all from different ladies. What more could you want?

-Essin’ Em