You Could Call It Gorgonzola
The other night, after my Let’s Talk Sex workshop at Fascinations, Q and I were cuddling in bed. I can’t remember why, but we started talking about vagina. Not about vaginas you see, but about the WORD vagina.
Q doesn’t like it. I personally think it’s an awesome word, and while I prefer cunt, I think vagina is just fine-a. Q disagrees. She thinks it is an uncomfortable awkward word, and wanted to know where it came from. I explained that it came from the Latin word for sheath. She quickly poo-poohed this, and went on to ramble on and on about how they should take the Latin word for “loving, granting,…”
And then she trailed off. She couldn not quite articulate what she wanted the word to be, but she knew she just plain ol’ didn’t like the current term of vagina.
Now, I personally dislike most terms for vagina. I’m ok with pussy, but it’s not really sexy to me. No-no place is a no no, hoo-haa makes me cringle, snatchula is awesome but only in a funny “oh, did you fall down and accidently kick your little snatchula with your skates” (at roller derby practice) way, snatch and crotch seem so high school, cooter just makes me want to gag, and so on. Both of us love CUNT, but there are times and places where it’s not quite as appropriate to say.
So we talked about it, trying to figure out what she didn’t like about the word vagina. I may have rapped about vaginas. Really. And sung some vagina opera for her. Yes, yes I did. But nothing could sway her mind. She did NOT like the term vagina, and nothing I said or did could change her mind.
I asked her what type of term she’d like to replace vagina.
“Something either awesome and powerful, like cunt, or more soft and flowy and nice.”
I asked her again, like what.
“I don’t know like gorgonzola.”
I started at her for almost a full minute, eyes big, and then we both burst out laughing. Once we regained our breath, she explained that she had no idea why that came out, and she didn’t like it at all, especially for vagina, since it’s a strong smelling cheese, but it’s now a fabulous inside joke.
That said, what word SHOULD replace vagina, if we were going to make up a completely new word? Cave of wonders if pretty awesome, but it’s a bit long…
-Essin’ Em
4 Comments so far
Leave a reply
I happen to have a copy of “The Perfumed Garden of the Cheikh Nefzaoui” here. It’s an antiquarian Arab treatise on lovemaking and sexual relationships. While it is by no means the most woman positive book out there it’s still an interesting read. Keeping in mind that the meaning of some words may have changed over time, I offer the following from Chapter 9 – Sundry Names Given to the Sexual Organs of Women. El mokabeul, the ever ready for the fray. El taled, the yearning one. El hacene, the beautiful. El ladid, the delicious one.
I agree with Q, I really hate the word “vagina”. It’s just so unpleasant sounding. Unfortunately I can’t decide on a good substitute either, but “gorganzola” is certainly amusing.
One of the current popular alternatives out there is Vagoo. :)
Snatchula had me literally laughing out loud.
I prefer cunt as well and use it most of the time. Occasionally I’ll use vag, though again, it’s like cunt- a lot of people don’t like the word. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one that doesn’t care for the word vagina. It’s so clinical and impersonal, quite frankly it’s just a weak word. Cunt has power behind it.