Sexuality Happens

I like pretty. You know this, I know this, the whole world knows this. I’m really into matching things; red, black, white and animal print. Now, granted, I have some toys that fall outside this color scheme. When people send me free stuff, all I ask is that’s not pink; if it’s free, I know I can’t really be choosy. So I have a turquoise Form 6, and a purple Fun Factory Curve, and an orange Ina.  In the case of the Ina, they only make it in bright colors! 

However, these cuffs? They’re perfect. They are beautiful wrist restraints made in black with red scalloped edges. Not only that, but they have matching ankle restraints (and collars!). How cool is that? I’m all about looking sexy through color/style coordination, and Stockroom (who makes these) really knows how to make a submissive/bottom look sleek, sexy and sassy.

Let’s talk about the cuffs themselves.  I have a lot of kink/fetish products, but these are some of my favorites. They are absolutely goregous, fit a variety of wrist sizes (yay for fat friendly items), and just look stunning on wrists; mine, Q’s, or anyone elses. Plus, they are lined with fleece, to keep from rubbing and add a little comfort during play, if that’s your thing.

Now, Q and I have another pair of fleece lined cuffs we’ve used before, but they leave black marks on her wrists post sex because she sweats (I’m doing a lot to her — you’d sweat a lot too!) and then the dye comes off. Not a problem with these cuffs. They’re obviously VERY good quality, so no dye issues. However, they’re also still pretty affordable (get both wrist and ankle restraints for under $100!), which I love. I hate the concept that you have to be super rich to get a ton of kink toys.

What can you do with them? Let’s see. I put them on her, then tied her wrists together all tight and such with bondage rope and teased her with a variety of sex toys. Later, I attached the cuffs with snap hooks to my lovely Under the Bed Restraint System, cause their “restraints” suck, but the concept is brilliant, so I just use nice cuffs with it, and it makes it a much better, super awesome and totally not as pervy as the rest of my house set up.

I liked them a lot, and am considering getting the ankle ones as well, for a complete and beautiful set. Q liked them because they were comfortable, looked good, and could be worn for a long period of time.  We were both very impressed, and I’d give these lovely and affordable cuffs 5 stars (out of 5)!

Click here to get pretty wrist restraints, and click here to get pretty ankle restraints!

You don’t really get to see much of Q on here; protecting her privacy is very important to both of us.

So while you still don’t get to see her face, here is a glimpse of us on the day we decided to get engaged, at the mass commitment ceremony at Phoenix Pride.

As you see, I wanted an engagement bracelet instead of an engagement ring, and Q, being the loving partner that she is, bought me a beautiful onyx and boulder opal bracelet. I love it, but it’s a little delicate, so I may have a chain mail bracelet made that I can wear every day and keep this for special occasions. Isn’t my bracelet just beautiful and so perfect for me?

For her, I got her a titanium ring.  Neither of us believe in buying diamonds, given the way that most of them are procured, nor do we believe in showing out loved through thousand dollar pieces of jewelry. We’d rather get fairly affordable pieces that we like, and save the money towards a honeymoon, and eventually, a down payment on a house. So her ring is simple, but I like it a lot. I think it’s fairly classy, and it’s different than most guy’s rings.  She likes it too. Currently, it’s getting re-sized, as we kind of wound up getting them in a hurry.

So there you go, a look at both of us, and a glimpse at our engagement. The rest of the photos are pretty nice too!

Happy HNT to y’all!

-Essin’ Em

This is a letter I wrote to the Mayor of Phoenix regarding Senate Bill 1070, which, when it comes down to it, legalizes racial profiling.

After discussion and rude comments on my facebook wall regarding this, I remind you that only POLITE AND RESPECTFUL commenting and discussion will be tolerated.  You may disagree, that is fine, but if you are disrecpectful to me, to any group of people, to other commentors, etc, your comment will be deleted.

That said, a few things

*We are all immigrants here unless you’re Native American.  We’re living on stolen land. The treaties we made were broken, and we were sneaky in how we got the land. Put that in your soup and sip on it.

*I am not against immigration reform. I just do not feel that legally being able to pull over (or knock on the front door of) any one “brown” or of Chicano/Latino descent is the right way to do it.

*One of the few counties to pass a similar law (in Virgina) lots ridiuclous amounts of everything.  Their economy plummeted, people stopped visiting, over one third of the houses were foreclosed on, etc.  THIS IS NOT HEALTHY FOR OUR ECONOMY. 

*I do not condone murder, kidnapping and rapes (as someone on facebook suggested I do). I agree that the drug cartels and coyotes are a HUGE issue, and need to be stopped.  That said, pulling over anyone of color is not going to fix that situation one bit, and in fact might wind up getting more people killed.

*We are eliminating checks and balances and letting government into our lives even more. I’m not ok with that.

*Even many police departments here do not like this law because it allows so much individual choice on who gets pulled over and checked.  While many police offers are good people, just like within the regular population, some are not and will abuse this. Regularly.  With no oversight, this creates an opening for the racial tensions already present here to bubble out of control.

And in keeping those thoughts in mind, here is my letter to Phil Gordon.

Dear Mayor,

I am fairly new to Arizona, having moved here this past fall with my partner from Colorado.

The day SB1070 passed and was signed was the day we thought we’d made a mistake about moving here.  It is shameful to us to be living in a state that so blatantly perpetuates racism and racial profiling. Immigration may in fact be an issue here, but as I’m sure you know, this bill does nothing but legalize hatred, and give cart blanche to individual officers to discriminate as they will.  I’m afraid that it will spread not only racism, but also include homophobia and transphobia, as those following this law make those who do not fit into society’s gender standards show their documentation, and begin to pull over cars with HRC stickers and rainbows. I am not prepared to carryaround my birth certificate and/or passport with me at all times; no one should have to do this.

I have hope in you, sir, that you will do the right thing and begin the steps to create a discrimination and inequality suit that will get this law declared unconstitutional. I have hope that you will make us change our mind about this state, show us that there are people will to stand up for right, for equality, for human rights.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me about this issue, and I look forward to seeing you stand up for justice for all.

When I got to visit Kink.com’s Armory in San Francisco back in January of 2009, I fell in love with all the fucking machines. They are so cool, so interesting, so wonderfully built (and the builder? Talk about eye candy!).  Since then, I actually have gotten to ride a fucking machine, but it wasn’t anything like these.

This week’s eye candy is the lovely Lorelei Lee and Charley Chase on FuckingMachines.com…and god, I wish I was a fly in the wall there. These two are hot, sexy, and give it all they got…and then the machines fuck them even more. If I could get onto one Kink.com site, it would be this one, because hot DAMN! Plus, the squirting? Super hot!

Enjoy the eye candy!

Click here to see the whole hot scene with Lorelei and Charley!

I love porn. We know this.  This love has included being in it before, including this particular DVD, which is taken from scenes on CrashPadSeries.com. 

This particular DVD is entitled “Crash Pad Series Volume 5: Revolving Door“, and is starring Stacy Staxxx, August, Rex, Me, Red, Cyd Loverboy, Kuma, Julie Warren, Shawn and Mickey Mod. Thanks Babeland for sending it to me to review :)

The big talk about this DVD was the last scene, the one between Shawn and Mickey Mod. Why? Because Micky is a cisgender guy (his gender matches the sex his body was signed at birth; the opposite of transgender). He’s the first cisgender (and may still be the only cisgender) identified guy to be on crash pad, and so this scene was talked about a lot for whether it was queer or not (oh, I sure as hell think that is is), whether a cisgender guy should be allowed on a queer porn site (I hate that cisgender men seem to not be allowed to identify as queer sometimes?), etc.  So now I’ve covered the discussion centering around that scene, and am going to move on to discuss the rest of the DVD. If you’re interested in reading more, just google “Crash Pad Series Revolving Door” and you’ll get other reviews discussing it.

I loved the first scene with August and Stacy. There is just something there about the sweetness, the connection, the almost innocent power exchange, the hotness (and pervertedness) of dripping birthday candle wax on someone, the loving way they played with each other, the femme-tastic-ness of Stacy, the light bondage, the “plot” of celebrating a birthday…I loved it all. Was it full of hardcore S/M? Nope.  Lots of fisting? Nope. It was just sweet, sexy, hot queer porn, and honestly, I fucking love that.

My scene? Obviously I enjoyed it.  As some people joke, I may have broken the sound barrier with some of my screaming…but I *am* known for being a bit loud in bed, and else where.  Rex and I had only met once before, and hadn’t even really kissed, so it was really interesting figuring out our chemistry and interaction on camera. I enjoyed seeing that aspect a lot.

Cyd Loverboy and Red’s scene is full of hot cock sucking, fucking, and a little anal action; all hot, and having the two gender fucking queers fuck was pretty arousing to watch. Seems like Cyd’s porn career is starting to take off a bit now, and I look forward to seeing where that goes next.

Lastly was the scene between Kuma and Julie Warren; Kuma is quite the dapper leather daddy (I love the look he starts with!) and Julie Warren is such a lovely blonde.  I really loved this scene, but please note that what I love it for are things that often make people nervous; knife play, chest hitting, canes, stocking ripping, floggers and more. I liked seeing this heavier SM side of CPS, and really enjoyed this scene.

All in all, I’d say this is one of my favorite CPS compilations, and not just because my scene is on it. It’s one of the DVDs I actually see myself watching and enjoying again. 5 stars (out of 5).

-Essin’ Em

Click here to get your own Crash Pad 5.

Always Aroused Girl has been blogging a bit lately about the oh so fun game of trial and error with her pills, and I feel so much empathy for her, she doesn’t even know. I actually have to have a spreadsheet now of what pills I’ve tried for which problem, their dosage, why they didn’t work, etc…other wise, I have no idea when the doctor asks me if I’ve tried Alavil, and if so, why it didn’t work.

I take about 8 or 9 pills every morning, depending on the condition of my knees. Then 2 at lunch, and another 3 before bed. This is assuming I’m not in any intense knee pain (up it by one more pill every 4-6 hours), or having a migraine (I get 2-3 a week…then add 3 pills to start, and 1 every hour till they knock me out).

People joke with me that I’m a travelling pharmacy when they see my giant travel pill box. But I have to have it with me at all times, because I never know when something will act up. Plus, of course I keep a bottle of IBprofen in my purse, because that’s my first line of defense for my knees/hips before I add the oxycodone.

I hate it. A lot. I hate having to swallow literally a handful of pills every morning. A whole handful. If you ever meet me, you’ll be very impressed with my ability to swallow almost a dozen pills all at once. I’m like a python or something.  It takes practice. I remember having to learn to swallow pills when I was younger, and I got to practice with M and Ms. Which actually sucked, because you didn’t get the taste the chocolate.

I hate not being able to go anywhere without the clacking of my pills. Without my purse, I get nervous.  What happens if ___.

I mentioned on twitter my frustration with all the damn pills (keep in mind some are not traditional Western medicine; I take glucosamine chondrontine for my knees, and flaxseed Omega-3 for my heart and B-12 cause I’m a vegetarian), and someone said that when they felt that way, they just stopped taking them all for a few days.

While this may work for some, please note how dangerous this can be with many drugs. In college, I was on Paxil, mostly for my insommnia.  I got sick of taking it, and so in my 16 year old mind, the best option was to just stop taking it, ignoring the fact it had taken 2 weeks to ramp up to my current dose.  4 days of cold turkey and I ended up in a severe depression and tried to kill myself. PLEASE be careful with your drugs.

The point of this post? There really is none. Just me bitching about the ridiculous amount of medication I have to take on a daily basis, and to please warn people about going off any med (prescribed or OTC or natural) suddenly. Your body needs time to adjust.

I don’t need any more migraine med recommendations. I’ve gone through the list. The med my current neurologist wants to put me on has been refused by my insurance (like my allergy medication), and costs $160 for 4 pills. FOUR PILLS.  It’s cheaper for me to go to the ER ($150 copay) than to pay out of pocket for the migraine pills I need to keep me out of the ER.

So I just up the doses of what I have, and hope it works.

People wonder why I don’t really care about gambling…it’s because I do it every day with my health. Trying to figure out which pill fucked up which part of me, trying to avoid taking pain killers, but guessing whether the pain will become unbearable. It’s all roulette…just with me, instead of red and black.

-Essin’ Em

If you’ve been enjoying my video reviews from Fascinations, it’s time for yet another one. This video review is of the Ina by Lelo. It’s the first rechargable, silicone covered, rabbit style toy out there, and I’m pretty impressed with the design. Granted, dual-stimulation toys have never worked for me, so I am not going to sing its praises myself, but Q love love loves this new toy, so I have to give it a big thumbs up.  I mean, Q LOVES this toy.

The buttons are easy to use, the toy just feels good, plus it comes in it’s own little satin bag, and with a charger. No batteries needed. What more could you want?

Watch the video review for more of my thoughts!

Thanks again to Matt Helm, my co-worker/awesome director of coolness who shot and edited the video to make it look all professional like.

Want to get your own Lelo Ina?? Click here to get a purple one (also on the site in lime green and orange!)

-Essin’ Em

This will be the third year I have posted it. As with last year, I have tweaked it slightly, but not much. All of the feelings and sentiment remain the same. My father is one of, if not THE greatest influences in my life, and this is him, his story, how much I miss him. Eleven years have passed, but I still feel him with me every day.

That’s me on the right, at an ice show rehearsal circa 1995?

Today, April 23, 2010, is the 11th anniversary of the death of my father, the greatest man I will ever know. He was one of the most amusing, inspiring, intelligent, wonderful people to ever grace the face of this earth, and that’s not just my biased view. You didn’t see the number of people at his funeral, the number of people who came out of the woodwork to tell him goodbye and to tell us how much he had meant to them, the kind words written about him online by people all over the world, and so on. He was a great man.

When I was younger, I remember visiting him in the hospital in my Care Bear outfit (yes, I’ve been a nerd since a very young age). He had cancer (non-hodgkin’s lymphoma) and was occasionally hospitalized for pneumonia, or other infections. He went into remission in the early 90’s. Then, summer 1998, when we were in Europe, he started feeling off again. He was re-diagnosed at the end of the summer. My family didn’t tell me until Feb 1999, because they didn’t want to throw off my skating competition (WHAT THE FUCK — I still resent this immensely) or worry my sister and I.

Now I know why he cried at that competition when I put my first place medals around his neck and told him it was all his fault that I’d won. It’s a good thing they told us when they did – my dad ended up in the hospital the next week. It was a hard time – mydad was constantly in chemo, and was in and out of the hospital. I stopped doing my math homework; who cares about algebra and equations when your father was sick and his life hung in the balance? I spent every night after school either at rehearsal for my play, or with my dad at good old St. Joe’s, getting him ice chips, and joking around about the disgusting food, and taking the crosses off the wall.

At the end of March was my last show at the Logan School for Creative Learning (my elementary and middle school). I had a starring role in “The Madwoman of Chillot,” but didn’t think my father in his weak state could go – 3 flights of stairs, and sitting in a folding chair for 3 hours just wasn’t going to happen. My school loved my dad though, and banded together. They were able to help him up the stairs, and put him in the tech director’s special high backed rolling arm chair so that he could keep his neck upright (carried up those 3 flights). At the end of the show, they unrolled a banner signed by every single member of the cast and crew that said “We love you Sol!” and dedicated the show to him. By this point, he was bald (I called him Daddy Warbucks), and had lost more than 50 pounds. He was sunken in his chair, but had tears streaming down his face at this show of love by the people in his life. It was an amazing night, and the best performance of my life, bar none.

He started getting better, and was put on a list for a stem cell transplant. Every night before he went to bed, I told him how much I loved him…that’s just how we were. Until the morning of Friday, April 23, 1999, when I was woken up by my mother at 10am, which was odd, since it was a school day. She took me into my sister’s room, and told us that he had died in the night. She had woken up when he made a noise, and called 911, and tried to give him CPR, but it hadn’t worked. She was terrified that we would wake up with the ambulance’s sirens, and paramedics running through the house. We didn’t.

That day, I missed school, but they held an all school assembly in memory of my dad. I stayed home, cleaning up the house for the after funeral party. It snowed that day, a lot, given that it was April. I answered the door for the people coming by, took the flowers and arranged them. That night, I went to rehearsal for the ice show, because that’s what my father would have wanted, and I didn’t see any reason to not go.

Saturday, I went to the funeral home with my mother (Jews don’t believe in embalming, so funerals happen fast), and she was a wreck. I helped to plan my father’s funeral, to pick out his casket, to figure out how many police on motorcycles we needed. I was 13, and making choices as to how my father would be buried. Try telling me that hasn’t affected me every day for the rest of my life.

We asked for the small, 75 person chapel at my temple. When we arrived on Sunday morning, they had already had to move it to a large chapel, because too many people had already shown up (which was unexpected – we didn’t even publish an obituary with a funeral time). By the time the service started, it was standing room only. I wore a black dress with one of my father’s Hawaii shirts over it. He wore a Hawaiian shirt every day – to work, to skating, to school, etc. So I wore one. I read a poem, and after the service, my mother, sister and I opened the casket, alone. He was wrapped in a traditional Jewish Shroud, but underneath, he was in his $6 goodwill tuxedo he had bought for the father daughter skate, a Hawaiian shirt, and his rainbow suspenders. I left a little pig scupture in there with him.

We underestimated how many cops we would need to get to the cemetery. It was ridiculous – we figured just a few friends would come along. Everyone did. It snowed a little as he was buried. I remember the vase of flowers we left on his grave; we had too many at home already.

A few weeks later, his doctor called, and told us that his last tests had shown the cancer had spread all over his body – nothing could have stopped it, and nothing could have prevented him dying. Funny you know, because non-hodgkin’s lymphoma is considered a generally non-fatal type of cancer. A week or two after that, we got a message from the hospital – my dad was now at the top of the list for a stem cell transplant, and could he come in the following day? That was hard. As were all the calls from solicitors…especially the one when I said “No, I’m sorry, he’s deceased” and he said “when would be a good time to call back?” I asked him if he believed in reincarnation. What can you do?

My dad was a wonderful man. He was born in Sweden, moved to the US at age 1, and learned to speak Yiddish. English was his second language. He was kicked out of several schools for making mischief after he finished his school work before everyone else. He was in the air force for 3 years, stationed in Germany. He came back and got his bachelor’s in 2.5 years by working the hell out of the system. Then he got a Master’s in geology. After years with the government (BLM) as a geologist, he went back and got another degree as a computer scientist and stayed with the BLM. And did a lot of fancy computer programming stuff that I really don’t get, but he’s been called a pioneer in the field of meta-data analysis, and there is an award out there in his name.

He was a field trip parent for my classes – he had a giant suburban with a CB radio, and would show up for almost every trip. He came in to read stories to my class. Every year, we made latkes for everyone. At our roller skating parties, he’d be out there teaching every kid how to skate. Around Channukah, he’d dress up completely like a traditional Eastern European Jew, and re-enact (with my help of course) “Herschel and the Channukah Goblins.” Everyone knew and loved my dad.

When I took up figure skating, he did too, so that he could stay a little ahead of me, and help me learn things. After a while, I by-passed him in skills, but he kept skating. He even got a few jumps (he took this up at 44 or 45!), and quite a few bruises to prove it (never skate with a pocket knife in your pocket). One year, my sister and I skated to “the Sorcerer’s Apprentice” in an ice show – she was Mickey, and I was the Sorceress. Well, my dad put all on brown, tied some grass skirts around his knees, grabbed some buckets, and he became the brooms. I’m so not kidding. It was hilarious. In the father daughter skates in the ice shows, he had found a $6 tuxedo at goodwill, and wore it with a giant sequin bow tied and matching cummerbund, every year. And every year he’d try to throw some of his cool moves in (a little bunny hop here, some backwards skating there), and every year he’d get yelled at by the ice show director.

We used to see the circus every year, and one time, it was like our personal family at the circus day. My sister and I got picked from the audience to fly in a toy plane from the top of the coliseum, and then my father was picked for a clown skit. It involved “lay-people” tossing plates at each other, that broke when caught, and the audience people were supposed to just look confused and upset. Well, my dad started juggling them, throwing them under his leg, clapping them together, etc. He even followed the main clown around, mocking him (to the amusement of the crowd)…he told us later the clown told him in a heavy Russian accent to “cut it out! This is my show!” Later on, everyone was asking him if he was a plant, because he was that funny.

In 4th grade, I was farther ahead than everyone in my Hebrew class except for one girl. He volunteered to teach, and came in every weekend to teach special lessons to the two of us. Didn’t get paid, and got a lot of crap from me, but he did it, Sunday after Sunday.

When my girl scout troop was without a leader, he stepped up, becoming the only male leader in the Denver area. We learned knot tying, macramé, fire starting, archery, etc. I used to go to the “parent-daughter” girl scout camp weekends, and he’d go with me – usually one of only 4 or 5 dads (so we’d get the nice cabins with plumbing!).

On our own, he taught me to use a bow and arrow, how to play catch, how to carve words into sticks and trees. He made his own fireworks with steel wool. He took me with him to work all the time, not just on the official day. We had matching beanie propeller hats, except his had a little pig, and mine had a frog. He drove me religiously to dance and horseback riding lessons, and we’d listen to NPR on the way. We used to go thrift store and garage sale-ing every weekend spring-fall, and in the winter, we’d go to the lumber store sometimes. He built a two story play house for my sister and I in our back yard…that never got finished because of his death. It’s still there.

When I wanted my hair French braided, he went to a hair styling for kids class with me at Kazoo and Co. He was the only male there, but volunteered to practice for the demos, etc. We used to build hyped up remote control cars together for the critter crunch – trying to demolish our opponent’s cars. When I ever wanted a “new” computer, we’d build it together from spare parts, just the way I wanted it, even if that meant 3 floppy drives (totally pointless by the way). He got me games for DOS from all over the world. In NM, he used to take me shooting with my uncle, and was so proud of me when I turned out to be good at it. Once, we made our own wine…from a jury-rigged distillery we made in our kitchen. He taught me how car engines run, how to use a power drill, and how to waltz and summersault. Even our cats liked him best – always following him around, sleeping with him in his arm chair, leaving mice under his chair.

My father was my everything. He taught me so much, even when I didn’t want to learn (like the one summer he made me fill in a blank multiplication table every day, or the next year, when I had a daily long division problem). His crazy shirts, bolo ties, and tucan hats (as well as the rest of his antics) made me realize how important it is to live life to the fullest every day, because you never know what might happen. I even wrote my college essay on him. I got into my first choice because of him.

He never got to see me do my bat mitzvah, even though I wore his toucan hat during it (which miraculously survived the house fire we had a month after his death). He didn’t get to see me go to high school, to see me win any awards, to see me graduate high school, college or grad school. He never got to see me direct my first play, or sing in a musical. He would have been astonished that I was the President of the Jewish group at CC. He never got to threaten my partners with his .22 like he always promised. He would have LOVED Kinsey and Athena and Kali and Jasper, and would have played with them more than I do.

That day, not only did I lose a wonderful father, a great friend, a teacher, but the world lost a great man. It’s only in the last few years that I realize not only how much he influenced me, and how much he brightened my life, but that he did the same for hundreds of other people. It’s hard now – none of my current close friends, or my partner Q have ever met my dad, so they don’t know what exactly I’m missing, what piece of me is gone…I reacted differently to his death than most people react when they lose a loved one. We had never left anything unsaid, and I had nothing to feel guilty about. But the farther away I get from him, the more sad I am. I don’t remember anymore exactly what his voice sounds like. I don’t always remember his wry smile. I don’t believe in heaven or hell – I believe that when you die, your body is done, and your spirit goes into those whom you loved. I feel that as life trucks on and on, there is less and less of him in me, and that’s so hard.

Q often reminds me of him. Not all the time, but just here and there. Don’t they always say that girls go after guys that are like their daddies? I guess I found one like my dad in Q.

People ask me how long it took to move on. I tell them you never move on, you only work on healing.  How can you ever move on from someone who created who you are?

Here we are making potato latkes in my middle school

If you feel so inclined, wear a Hawaiian or brightly colored shirt today, in honor of him and his vibrant life. Or please donate to the American Cancer Society.

Thanks for reading that huge diatribe.

-Essin’ Em

When I was in Denver last, I went to a FuK (Fetish und Kink) party at the RACK Room with my moose Evey. My outfit was a school girl gone bad…a bad influence that turned sweet innocent school girls into raging lesbians.  The above is a picture from the outfit, that involved much lipstick kisses. By the end of the night, I was covered in even more lovely lipstick kisses from a variety of “turned” school girls. Silly? Yes, but so am I. Don’t you wish you could have gotten your paws on me? Or more likely, vice versa!

Hope everyone has a fabulous and happy HNT!

-Essin’ Em

Bowl of Temptation by Raven Girl Photography

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #73? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #75? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday April 25th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Zestra Giveaway Deadline: April 21st.
• Celebrate Earth Day: LELO Gigi Contest Deadline: April 22nd.
• Contest! Deadline: April 24th @ 11:59pm.
• I Dare You… Giveaway! Deadline: April 25th.
• Click N Charge Deadline: April 25th.
• Jollies Dildo Giveaway Deadline: April 30th @ Noon Eastern.
• Contest: Sexy Scavenger Hunt! Deadline: April 30th @ 10pm Eastern.
• Tell Me Your Best Undercover Kinkster Moment Deadline: April 30th @ 11:59pm Central.
• Ophoria April Sweepstakes Beyond 1 Deadline: April 30th @ Midnight Eastern.
• Lover’s Choice April Sweepstakes Horny Hot & Wild Dice Deadline: April 30th @ Midnight Eastern.
• Facebook Friends Contest Deadline: May 3rd.
• Calling All Hot Mamas! Deadline: May 3rd @ 11am Central.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #11

Editor’s Pick

• Awkward Mother’s Day: A Dual Review of Form 2 by Carnivalesq

If you all remember, Mom helped out with a brief comment about LELO’s Liv. The reason I wanted her in on the Form 2 review is… well, there are so many reasons. One? It’s catchy. A dual review of the Form 2, which is itself a dual-motor vibrator? It’s got a nice ring to it. Also, Mother’s Day is coming up (HINT!). But the real reason? I know there are a number of readers who are older than I am, who are probably closer to my Mom’s age.

Note: If the fact that it’s a dual-review done by Carnivalesq and her mother doesn’t already want you to read it (though I don’t know why you would need more incentive than that), they also comment on some “gems from the user manual” and lots of links to amusing videos littered through the text.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Lucid Dreams #54 by Jessie Beth
• OhMiBod Club Vibe by Mistress Kay
• Onye Fleur by Darling Dove
• Onye B2 Fleur by Jessie Beth
• Jimmyjane Form 2 by Carnivalesq
• Ice Vibrator by Jessie Beth
• Close2you Sinfonia by Marilyn
• Duo Obsessions Lavish by Mistress Kay
• Sexy Bunny by Jessie Beth
• Iconic Rabbit by Sammi
• Sqweel by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Lipstick Vibe by Muffyspingulove
• Ez Bend by Keeshia
• Rhythm O Bounding Bunny by Syd Vicous
• Laya Spot by Kaijah
• Bet on Black by Sammi
• Rampant Rabbit Thruster Review by Joanna Cake
• Close2you Opus by Marilyn
• LELO Gigi by Pretty Power Tools
• One Touch Magic Bullet by Sammi
• Blueberry Buzz by Lux Zakari
• G-Swirl by Sexorcism
• G-Swirl by Missy
• Venus Penis “G” by PandaDementia
• OhMiBod Club Vibe by Kylie
• OhMiBod Freestyle by Marilyn

Dildos

• Vixen Creations Mistress by Darling Dove

Anal Toys

• Nexus GPlay Trio by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Dichroic Glass Anal Plug by Mistress Kay
• Aneros Helix by Colby H.Encore by Sex, Lies and Prelaw
• Pfun Plug by Toys in Love
• Nexus Excel by Thick Shady
• LELO Bob by Cooper

Toys for Cocks

• Miho Love Pillow by namelesschaos
• 4Us Vibrating Ring by Sammi
• Tenga Egg “Clicker” by Jessie Beth
• Tenga Egg “Silky” by namelesschaos
• Vibrating Support Plus Pleasure Point Ring by Keeshia
• Tantus Stroker XL by namelesschaos
• LELO Tor by Cooper

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Sliquid Organics Silk by Jessie Beth
• Emerita Oh by True Pleasures
• Gun Oil by Chops McGruff
• Babeland Body Massage Candle by Sexorcism
• Swede Aqua Comfort by Toys in Love
• Zestra by Nanny Berry

BDSM/Fetish

• Kinklab Men’s Anal Plug Harness with Cockring by Kyle Jones
• Japanese Bondage Rope by Essin Em
• Aslan Ball Gag by Pretty Power Tools

Adult Books/Games

• The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Mistress Kay
• The New Topping Book by Juliettia
• An Enchanting Evening by Mistress Kay

Adult Movies & Porn

• Glamazons by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Award Winning Sex Scenes by Juliettia
• Better Sex Sexplorations Series by Mistress Kay
• Prison Planet Escape by The Porn Librarian
• Bordello by FrzKey
• Pippa the Posh Bint by J.D. Bouchery
• Swimsuit Calendar Girls Vol. 2 by The Porn Librarian
• Talk To Me Baby: A Lover’s Guide to Dirty Talk & Role Play by FrzKey

Lingerie

• Bra and Cincher 3 Piece Set by Isabel0329

Miscellaneous

• Condom Cube by Mistress Kay
• Pleasure Me Purse Kit by Luscious Lily
• Enhance Me Breast Forms by Mistress Kay