Sexuality Happens

I was just thinking about how much hair styles have changed over the years, and I don’t mean the bob to the bee-hive.

I remember when I was in college, and decided to try shaving my vulva. It wasn’t for anyone; I was single and not sexually active at the time, so it was just an experiment. I discovered that I liked having less hair down there, as it meant that I could feel the vibrations of my toys better, and I just liked the way it felt, and the way it looked. When we did our yearly nude photos for the Vagina Monologues cast, I was the ONLY woman out of 20+ that removed public hair, two years running. People questioned my feminism, others stared; I felt like a minority by shaving.

I continued to shave (and waxed once…it worked well, but I don’t see the purpose in dropping that kind of a money when I can get razors much much much cheaper). Some of my partners commented on it with surprise, but slowly, it became more mainstream, and less people said anything. Until I started sleeping with queer people. Many of them were shocked that I chose to remove hair, or at least commented on it as odd; at the time, many people in the queer community weren’t removing their pubic hair.

That too has changed. A lot. It seems that most femmes and feminine people (including many guy-identified people) choose to remove their pubic hair. To the point where, at a talk I was having the other day, I said something about the labia majora naturally containing hair, and someone raised their hand and asked why, since “everyone just removes it anyways.”

Not everyone removes their pubic hair, and I do feel, for some part, that pubic hair removal is a trend. Just like not everyone wore a bob, or a beehive, not everyone changes up their pubic hair. Some grow it and groom it with pride, others let it go wild, some people trim it, other leave strips of hair, and some go all bare. All of these are 100% valid choices, as long as they are made by the possessors of said hair, and not partners telling them the way they should or should not look.

Please, let’s not make peopel feel shamed for choosing to cultivate their pubic hair in the same way that I was made to feel shamed by fellow feminists for choosing to remove my hair. Hair is a personal choice, and I want to make sure that when we talk about sex positive, and cultural change and norms and all that, we look at how our views on pubic hair have changed even in the last half decade, and support people’s choice, regardless. Cause as they say, hair today, gone tomorrow.

-Essin’ Em