Sexuality Happens

I’m not actually sad in this picture; I was just getting out of the shower, and all my eye make up had smeared down my face. It reminded  me just a bit of this really really really hot video that a certain Fierce Kitty made a couple of months ago.

I don’t think crying is sexy, although I’ve hear many a person tell me that they think it is so hot. When I was doing a lot more of submissive scenes, people always told me how hot it would be if I could cry, streaming make up down my face. It never worked; I was a very stoic submissive, or at the least, very snarky.

But I love the look. I lovethe smeared make up look. To me, it looks less like crying, and more like epic sex look. I had so much hot sex that my make up sweated down my face (this has happened before) and I just look a hot mess…key word hot.

This picture, right after I stepped out of the shower, accomplishes this look.  Q thought I looked awful, like I stepped out of a horror movie.  I guess everything is in the eye of the beholder.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

Happy Half Birthday to Me!

June 9th is my half birthday.  Last year I wrote a whole post about why my family celebrates my half birthday, and why I celebrate it now. This is why my half birthday is important to me.

I’m 24.5, so close to being a quarter century. Close to being able to rent a car for much cheaper, close to having less costly insurance. So what does 24.5 matter?

It matters because I’ve made it this far. I’ve struggled with depression, suicide attempts in the past, mega medical issues, ER visits, pills pills pill and more pills just to function and make it through the day, emotional abuse, sexual assault, the death of my father, and so much more. And yet I am here. Another 6 months. Another period of time where I have not only survived, but prospered.

I have a partner that makes my heart flutter every day. I have a job that makes me want to get up in the morning. I have three lovely and healthy kitties who give me infinite love. I have a roof over my head. I live in a state that is so hot that cars catch on fire, yet I have a place to live with air conditioning, and car with air conditioning, and a job with air conditioning.

As much as I get frustrated with money issues, and the political climate of this state, I am still here. I am lucky. I am growing, and aging, and living my life.

And that, my dear readers, is a reason to celebrate.

So happy half birthday to me!

-Essin’ Em

We’re back for Eye Candy this week with one of my favorite queer-tastic, kinky as fuck and sexy as anything queer porn star Madison Young. This red head runs her own kinky bondage site, but also models for other sites, such as Hogtied.com, which is where this week’s pictures are from.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet and hang out with Madison multiple times, and she is just as sexy in real life. Add that to her ridiculous sexy brain and cutting wit, and you’ve really got the full package. I’m in awe of her and her life in general, and this shoot just shows off how much she loves what she does, plus her incredible kinkability.

Click here to see the rest of the pictures and the video from this hot bondage shoot with Madison Young.

Hey you…yes you!

This Thursday night in Phoenix, I’m teaching a NEW sexuality workshop. It’s called Anal 101: What’s Up with the Butt? You’ll learn the ins and outs (pun intended) of anal sex, lubes to use, how to have it more safely, how to make it not hurt, new ways to enjoy it and more.

Like all Let’s Talk Sex Events, it’s 100% free, and each attendee gets a $10 gift card good in store or on FunLove.com. 18+ only. Click the flier for more info.

-Essin’ Em

I’m back again with the super hot, super queer, super smart Loreli Lee.  Last week, I showed her on WaterBondage.com in a sexy and submissive kind of way. Today, I’m showing a little bit of her sexy, dominant, take control, Mistress side of her on MenInPain.com.

This blonde bombshell is beautiful incredibly delicious regardless of whether she’s being submissive or dominant, and I think the pictures from this men in pain scene are incredibly hot.

Click here to see the video and all the photos from this hot, queer, woman in charge scene where Lorlei totally dominants this muscular guy and shows him who is in control. Mmm.

Let me put out there that Q wanted me to write this post. Otherwise, it was just an idea bouncing around in my head that I tended to share everytime certain songs came on the radio.

Do you know who Justin Bieber is? I had no clue until I spend Christmas with Q’s family in Long Island, and her teenage twin cousins gushed about him, how amazing he was, etc. When I first heard his music, it sounded very similar to a lot of dyke performers I’d heard, and so I assumed it was either a women named Justin, or someone trans/genderqueer, etc.  I was told that this wasn’t the case, just someone who had a higher voice. Gotcha.

I heard his songs on the radio occasionally, and never really thought about it again.

Until this website, Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bierber, innundated my inbox, twitter and facebook. There are a lot of dykes out there that look like Justin, and he even tweeted that he’d been ask if he was “that chick from the L-Word” before.

So my thought was this…what if Justin wasn’t a cisgender teenage guy? What if he was someone who transitioned and passed easily as male? Or what if he is someone genderqueer identified? Would it just be wonderfully amazing if this teenage heart throb that teens and tweens (mostly girls, but I’m guess some guys too) are just pining over happened to be genderqueer or trans in some way? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could show the world that lust/love/passion etc is based on looks and “personality” (I mean, do you ever really know the personality of a celeb?), rather than “gay” or “straight” or “man” or “woman?”

I am in no way saying that Justin is trans or gender queer or queer at all. It doesn’t really matter what his gender is in relation to his fame. I was just thinking about how amazing it would be if we could get more awesome genderbending and/or trans people into the lime light, groupies and all, and show the world that people fall in love with the emo look (or the metal look, or the pop look, etc) and the music, and the persona people present, NOT in love with someone’s birth sex/genitalia. I mean, look at the drama about Lady Gaga — people still love her (and I love her for never actually confirming OR denying the story, just saying that it didn’t matter), but they had to tell themselves so many times out loud that there was just no way that she was trans or intersex.

Why the hell should it matter? We love celebs, especially musicians for the art they make, the way they make us feel. I love that Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber and other artists are starting to blur the line of feminitity and masculinity, and slowly but surely change the way our culture looks at people.  Ten years ago, both these artists would have been laughed at, as people tuned to NSync, the Backstreet Boys and other bastions of “proper” male sexuality.

So you go Justin (and all the lesbians who look like you); way to queer pop music just a little, even if you didn’t mean to.

-Essin’ Em

Note: This post was written while on pain meds. Please excuse any ridiculousness.

I love Lelo. Hands down, they are one of my top three favorite sex toy companies. Why? They make mostly vibrators (although they also have a vibrating cock ring, kegel balls, and a butt plug, plus the Ella dildo), and all of their vibrating toys are rechargeable. Yes, they are 100% rechargeable, so you don’t have to worry about batteries ever again. Plus, all of the different chargers fit into all of the toys, so you only need to have one around. Also, Lelo chooses to make only body friendly toys out of phthalate free hard plastic and 100% medical grade silicone.  

One of the only sex toys from Lelo I hadn’t yet tried was the Elise vibrator. I wanted it; it was black, big, and beautiful. It matched my sex toy collection, and I craved it. It was one that I didn’t have.

And now I have it.  It’s made of silicone, so it can be sterilized.  Since it has electrical parts, just wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. Otherwise, washing it with water and anti-bacterial soap should do you fine.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed.  It was a great shape, great length, but the handle made it almost impossible to use. Q and I both liked the shape, but regardless of whether we were using it on ourselves or on each other, the handle was so small, hard to grip, and once we got lube involved? Yeah. There was no way to hold onto something like that.

Like all the other Lelo vibes, it has a great set of functions, from different levels and different types of stimulation. While we always enjoy trying all of these out (the on-off one, and the roller coster settings are pretty fun), we always end up back at the more traditional constant stimulation to really get the job done. Again, the shape is great, but it’s just so difficult ot actually use because of the handle size/angle, etc.

All in all, a good vibe. I’d give it 3.5 stars (more if you can figure out how to work the handle).  But if you’re going to invest in a Lelo toy, there are a whole bunch of better ones that I’d suggest, such as the Lelo Iris.

Click here to get your own Elise, but I think you’d be better with a Gigi or a Iris.

-Essin’ Em

Decided to put up another picture of my favorite body part; my eyes.

They say eyes are the window to the soul, but I think they’re so much more than that.  They convey emotions; happiness, confusion, anger, love, passion, frustration, desire, need, and more.

Even when I’m feeling self-conscious about myself, about my hair, my body, anything, my eyes are always there, always perfect. It doesn’t matter what color they are (they change color with my moods); they are always my favorite body part, always perfect, always full of information and emotion and amazingness.

What is your favorite body part? What part of you do you always love, always makes you feel hot and sexy and beautiful and powerful and handsome and amazing?  Please share either in a comment, or a post of your own.

And Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

I just found out this past week that one of my pictures has been selected to be part of the 2011 (New York) Sex Blogger Calendar. Unline in previous years that featured only NYC bloggers, this year they did a model search that was national…and models this year include people from CA, WA, AZ, and more! Way to represent.

I’m only one of many sexy and awesome bloggers who will be on the calendar.  See the list here. (Did I mention Jiz Lee and Nina Hartley are also models?!?!)

What is this calendar for?  It’s a fundraiser. In the past, proceedes have gone to many groups, most towards Sex Worker Awareness and Advocacy.  This year, they go to the Woodhull Foundation in the pursuit of sexual freedom.

Why is this important? Because we all rely on having sexual freedom, regardless of whether your monogamous or poly, kinky or not, queer, straight or something else. The fact that there are still states that have laws criminalizing the purchase and/or sale of vibrators, and laws regarding sodomy (did you know in many states, blow jobs and cunnilingus are technically illegal, although these laws aren’t often used to prosecute people). Because lots of students are graduating high school having never heard of a condom, none the less a dam. Because queer youth have an incredibly high suicide rate, and represent more than 25% of homeless youth, despite being 10% of the population. Because people are hated on for expressing their sexuality (what they wear, how they act, holding hands down the street). Because everyone should have the right to be free to be who they are, without fear of intolerence, opression, legal reprocussions, etc.

Sexual freedom affects you when you go to buy contraception/birth control (hormonal, condoms, etc). Sexual freedom affects you when you place your relationship status or “interested in” on facebook. Sexual freedom affects you when you choose to get married or not, or want to get married, but legally can’t. Sexual freedom affects you when your insurance won’t cover a presecription related to sexual health (BC, for STIs, vulvar pain disorders, etc). Sexual freedom affects you when your child’s school refuses to teach them anatomy or even basic safer sex. Sexual freedom affects you when you feel like to have to cover up a facet of yourself.

We HAVE to protect sexual freedom, as it affects each and everyone of us. Without groups like Woodhull and the NCSF, you probably wouldn’t even be able to read this blog.

What can you do? Soon, you’ll be able to purchase days on the calendar. Your birthday, your favorite masturbation day, your blogiversary, your lover’s birthday, the day you adopted your pet, whatever day you’d like. They’re incredibly cheap, and a great way to both support sexual freedom AND advertise yourself/your blog/celebrate life at the same time.  Then, come this fall, you should buy a calendar (and maybe one for each friend?), and possibly even come to the calendar release party in NYC October 1st to meet all the models (including Jiz Lee and Nina Hartley!), get them to sign their page, meet bloggers and educators, and more.

But for now, hold tight, and just think for a moment what sexual freedom means to you. I smell a contest coming up!

-Essin’ Em

I saw a copy of this painting in a local art gallery in Scottsdale.  It’s called the Chameleon, by an artist name Lumbars.

I love it. I want it in my house. No way I have the thousands of dollars to buy a re-production of it.  But they were kind enough to send me a small Jpg so I could look at it.

I think I like it because it brings together the outside and the inside, the self and the projection that you give to others.

This chameleon seems to embody sexuality and energy and beauty and self. 

What do you see?

-Essin’ Em