Sexuality Happens

I’ve been back in Arizona for the past few days, and it is exceedingly hard not to fall into a depression. Why? Because of my time in Colorado. I had a taste of my friends, my chosen family, the thunder storms, the vegan seitan wings, the green trees and mass of parks, the light rail, the laid back attitude, all of the things I love. And then, I had it taken away.

Arizona has my job, which I love. I love Fascinations, and my co-workers are awesome. I like our condo that we’re renting. We have made a few friends out here that we really enjoy. I am trying my hardest to find things to do and people to spend time with here, but it’s so hard to go somewhere that just *feels* 100% like I’m home…and then leave.

When I’m in Denver, I have less migraines. I feel less stress, less anxiety. When I start feeling anxious, I just spend some time looking at the beautiful Rocky Mountains, and I can literally feel my body and mind relax. It’s this amazing feeling that I’ve never been able to replicate (although I got close when I lived in Germany). It’s so calming, just to lean up against a tree full of green, starting at the mountains, take in a deep breath, and just live and enjoy it.

When we were there, people from all different communities we’ve been a part of told us how much they wanted us back. Kinksters, queers, friends, former co-workers, former cohorts, musicians, family, you name it; everyone we met (even our favorite waitress at one of our favorite restaurants) told us how much they would like us to come home, home meaning Colorado. It’s so heartening knowing how much we are missed, how much people want us back. Hell, even my orthopedic surgeon told me how much he missed seeing me on a regular basis.

On the contrary, when we were gone, no one from Arizona told us we were missed. No one took the time to fetlife, or facebook, or just text and say “hey, I know you’re in CO, but we’re looking forward to having you back.” We have one set of friends that helped me to find an emergency room when I got back, but that was it. There is no sense of love, caring, friendship or community here. We still feel predominantly like interlopers, annoying people into tolerating us.

Within a year or two, we hope to make it back to Colorado.  Q can’t leave her job just quite yet, as she’s making huge strides in the LGBTQ community, rights, conversation, etc on that campus.  My work has agreed when I moved to transfer me, which is great, since I love it. It’s just so hard to have to wait. To visit, and have that feeling of community, have that feeling of love from others, of the calmness of nature…and then to have to leave it.

Colorado, my heart still belongs to you,

-Essin’ Em

Inspired by the Slutty Friend, I’ve decided to make a list of things that turn me on, that make me say “oooh” or “ahhh” or “mmmm.” These are in no particular order.

-Essin’ Em

*Ties (especially gender queer/butch people wearing them)

*Q, especially when dressed up, and properly mohawked

*Eyeglasses

*Lighting

*Massages

*Thunder

*Dark Chocolate

*Ice Cream

*People passionate for social justice

*Corsets/Cinchers

*Gender queer-ness/Gender fuckery

*Other people packing

*The Hitachi Magic Wand

*Duct Tape on my Moose

*Kisses on my neck

*Knives

*Vampire Gloves

*The smell of books (especially old books)

*Black nitrile gloves

*Vaginal Fisting

*Queer Porn

*Introspective Tattoos

*Train rides

*Hotel beds

*Hot tubs

*Pools

*Being submerged

*Snow/rain/fog

*Fire

*Lilac/magnolias/lily of the valley/gladiolas scents

*Leopard print

*Certain music

*Pedicures (this is new, as of last week)

*Having my head pet

*Cuddling

*Grasshoppers (the drink)

*Breasts

At Thunder this weekend, before all my knee drama, I had two scenes planned, one with my moose, and one with a woman who had contacted me on FetLife.

I needed to do it up. I missed getting dressed up for local scene parties in Denver, which I have yet to find the same of in Arizona I miss doing it up, being silly, adding on the theatrics. So I did it up, and went as Super Queer, cape and all. I punished my moose for not masturbating for FIVE whole days while wearing rainbows and glitter and my Super Queer cape. There had even been plans to cock beat her with her own cock.  It was pretty fabulous.

And so, see above the upper half of my Super Queer outfit (more to be published in the future).

-Essin’ Em

As most of you know, I have epic epic epic knee problems.

Friday, I got a new version of SynVisc (synthetic viscosupplementation) injected in my knees. It didn’t really work 2 years ago, but was worth a try since it was covered. The difference? Two years ago, it was 2ccs per knee, one time a week, for three weeks. Now it was 6ccs per knee, all at once.

As usually the numbing needle and draining needle hurt worse than the insertion needle. Q, who hates doctors, was a trooper and held my hand. I have been using a cane since then, and taking it easy; not walking much, not lifting ANYTHING, etc.

Yet somehow, while my right knee is stiff, yet ok, my left knee is now completely unbendable, bigger than a cantelope (literally- I will take pics) and can support no weight at all. Spending my last day at Thunder looking for a kinky nurse/doctor/EMT. Flying this afternoon will be interesting.

-Essin’ Em

So sometimes, things supposed to “help” my knees just make them worse. And then what do you do?

-Essin’ Em

So here’s the deal folks.

Buy one day, send me a copy of your confirmation at EssinEm at Gmail Dot Com, and you get a little erotica poem from me to you (custom).

Buy three days,  send me a copy of your confirmation (see above), get a custom sexy picture (tell me your favorite body part/colors/etc).

Buy five days, send me a copy of your confirmation (see above), get 2 pictures and a custom piece of erotica written about you.

Buy anymore than that, and I’ll give you all the above, PLUS send you a “prize!” Perhaps lube, perhaps edible body paint, perhaps kegel balls, perhaps a toy…depends on how many days you buy.

To get all of these (or any), just head on over to the Sex Blogger Calendar page and purchase your day(s) — don’t forget, you can buy me days as presents too (I’d love love love that!). Then email me at EssinEm at Gmail dot com with a copy of your confirmation of purchase, and a little bit about you so I know what to write/take pictures of (if you bought more than 5 days, I need your address too!).

Proceedes go to the Woodhull Foundation to support sexual freedom — how can you argue with that?

That’s all – go forth!

-Essin’ Em

Thanks to AdultSexToys.com for this sex toy to review. What is it? Why, the Vixen Outlaw of course (made of Vixskin). This is the biggest (length wise, and probably girthwise) silicone dildo available on the market.

Now, I love me some dildos, even the big ones, but when I saw the size of this (almost my forearm), I knew exactly who should review this toy; my lovely moose Evey. She is a size queen extrodinaire, and this was THE perfect toy for her to try out. So I’ve gifted it to her, and the review the follows is from her. It’s 100% medical grade silicone, so you can sterilize it (10% bleach solution, top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it 3-5 minutes), but make sure you only use water based lube with it. It comes in vanilla, chocolate and caramel, so you have a nice color selection (if only they were flavored that way!

And with no further ado, the review from Evey.

-Essin’ Em

When Essin’ Em handed me my new toy to review, I couldn’t put it down. I probably held it for a good 20 minutes until I finally let go. I’d heard a lot of hype about the Outlaw by Vixen Creations, how it was HUGE and too big for some people. It is a staggering 8 ½ inches long and 2 inches thick of 100% sterilizable, silicone goodness. I was so ready for the challenge when she asked me to do the review for her! I’ve never met a cock that was “too big”. I’m a purebred size queen, through and through. Squeezing, stroking and touching it, it felt so realistic in my hands. It had give and felt like it pushed back to my firm grasp just like a real cock does you hold on tight. All of a sudden, I understood why everyone loves VixSkin so much. I loved how thick and substantial it felt in my grasp. THIS was a
cock I could fuck.

The first time I took it for a test drive was my second night back home in Denver. I was stressed from the beginning to what was starting to look like a long, challenging work schedule and hadn’t had sex in weeks. So I sat down on my couch, my trusty netbook full of porn and pink pocket rocket by my side. I don’t often use non-vibrating toys, and never alone that I can recall. I lined up a few videos and began warming myself up. Once I’d gotten close, I figured I was ready. I grabbed the Outlaw and slowly began pushing it into my pussy and it took a while. But once in, I pressed the tip of my vibrator into my clit and began fucking myself with the Outlaw. I had been edging and coming down for a good 20 minutes when I was ready to cum. So, I fucked myself harder as the vibrations on my clit started sending me over the edge. What happened next was completely unexpected and something that I’ve never done before. As I was cuming, the muscles in my pussy clamped down (which IS usual.. I’ve been known to push guys out with my orgasms). I responded by pounding the Outlaw into myself even harder and faster. Finally, the cock pops out of me and a gush of liquid shoots across my couch. It was such a release! I quickly shoved the Outlaw back into my pussy- because getting fucked really hard after my orgasm is one of my favorite parts of sex. No less than 10 seconds of more hard fucking and I had pushed it out again and sent another gush onto my cushions. I did this about 5 more times before I stumbled off the couch and grabbed a towel to clean up. I have squirted EVERY TIME I have used it.

But wait… there is MORE. Not only is the outlaw one of the best cocks I’ve had in me. Oh no- it’s also become my new favorite impact toy. I was at one of my local fetish clubs the weekend after I got home from Phoenix and had started an impromptu spanking scene with The Redheaded Slut. I got bored with my canes and paddles so I pulled out my cock (freshly sterilized and ready for play!). The look on her face when she looked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of whichever toy I’d pulled out next was priceless. I proceeded to cock slap the shit out of her ass and, being the naughty little slut she is, she loved every thuddy moment of it!

More in my series of weights and stretches.  I danced ballet, tap and jazz for 12 years, and figure skated for 8 years.  For a long time, I was pretty flexible. I’ve lost a lot of that, and so I’m trying my hardest to regain much of my flexibility.  This involves the few non-knee centric yoga stretches I can do, as well as lots of nude stretching every morning or evening, depending on when my schedule allows. I’ve even bought my first ever yoga mat a few weeks back to help facilitate my stretching progress.

I also use my lowboy to stretch out, and here is a picture of me stretching out my lower back and hip joints by putting up my leg on lowboy. Enjoy!

Happy HNT to you!

-Essin’ Em

Are you in the Denver Metro Area? Would you like to hear me talk about full spectrum sexuality and sensational sex toys? I’ll be speaking at the Fascinations in Arvada, CO tomorrow night at 7pm.  It is free to all attendees, and every one who sits through the class will get a $10 gift card, as well as refreshments and an entry in a raffle.

Sexuality is so much more than just sex acts, than identity, than why lube is love. It is all these things combined and so much more, and I hope to help you expand your knowlege of sexuality, and of course, what sex toys are designed for, which ones are body safe, and so much more.

Hope to see you there!

-Essin’ Em

This week, we have some more deliciousness from Cocksexual for our yummy eye candy, featuring queer porn stars of all sexes, genders, and identities.

I love Cocksexual, because you have such a diversity of hot models, from Miss Calico to Dylan Ryan to Sadie Lune (and Kimberlee Cline, and Billy Castro, and Jiz Lee, and Bella Vendetta, and Syd Blakovich) and many many more all strapped on and wearing and using cocks. Each scene (whether solo or with partners) has both photos and video.

I like the first two pictures, because I think sets with just one person rocking their cock can be extremely hot, and of course Dylan Ryan and Calico (two fierce femmes) have got that well practiced. Then Sadie Lune getting a hot cock blow job from Gloria? Mmmm. Do queer blow jobs get much more delicious than that?

Enjoy the pictures, and see more picture and video by click here and joining Cocksexual!

Hey all!

Good Vibes is letting me giveaway this fabulous Fancy Me Kit, complete with bubble bath, massage oil, massage lotions, a massage candle and more. I mean, as we hit the middle of the summer, who doesn’t need a little help creating sensual relaxation, either by themselves, or with a partner/lover/fuck buddy/friend. Take care of yourself, mind, body and soul, and it all begins with a little pampering of yourself.

How to enter? Two ways!

1) Leave a comment here. Tell me what amazingly delicious fantasy you have around using this kit. Perhaps it’s a day alone in the bath, away from work and kids and all of those distractions. Or maybe, a romantic getaway with your love, and it involved an evening of sensuous pampering. Just leave it here.

2) Post in on twitter. Needs to include a link here, my twitter name (@EssinEm) and the GV twitter name (@GoodVibesSF).  Here is an example:

Win a Fancy Me Kit for relaxation from @EssinEm and @GoodVibesSF. http://essin-em.com/2010/07/giveaway-fmk/ RT to Win!

You can tweet once per day.

All comments and tweets will be entered now through July 20th, at 11:59 PM PST. Winner must be contactable (via email or twitter), and be willing to give their mailing address to Good Vibrations in order to have their item shipped. Must be 18 or over to win (which you SHOULD be if you’re reading this blog).

Ready? Set? Relax!

-Essin’ Em