Sexuality Happens

Today, I fly out to Florida to visit my grandfather, my aunt, and her partner. It’s going to be a very interesting trip. Why? Well, for a few reasons.

1. Sometimes my mother is cool, politically active, and involved. Sometimes, she makes me cry and has chosen to not support me in pretty much anything (work, school, medical issues, moving to other states) I do/have done over the past few years. Sometimes, I worry about her health (she’s in her 60s, often tells me the same thing 3-4 times, forgets things, and has some medical issues). It’s an interesting relationship dynamic. We haven’t been close ever, but much less since my father died, and then since I went to grad school in 2006.

2. My sister and I also have an interesting relationship. It can sometimes be fine, other times very rocky, but I don’t know if it’s ever been defined as a “good” relationship. We’ve started saying “I love you” on the phone for the first time this year. We’re sharing a room.

3. My aunt’s partner is having a double masectomy and reconstructive surgery for an aggressive tumor the day before we get there. My aunt is a wreck, and keeps apologizing for messing up our trip. I keep explaining that this is what family does, and we’re happy to be able to help.

4. Said aunt is the one who, when I emailed her that Q and I were engaged, called my mother and told her we shouldn’t rub it in people’s faces, and that our relationship/sexuality needed to be a private thing. Very very very hurtful, and bit unexpected. That said, I think her partner’s illness is making her more open to our open-ness.

5. Despite me breaking down and using the term girlfriend (rather than the preferred “partner”) to refer to Q, I don’t think my grandfather understands that Q and I are dating/fucking/together. He may still think we’re roommates. I plan to explain our relationship as “just like my aunt and her partner” and see how that goes.

6. My grandfather’s current partner (my grandmother died before I was born) is emotionally and mentally abusive. And she refuses to let my aunt in my grandfather’s condo. So all interaction with us + aunt + grandfather takes place in restautants or our hotel.

So as you can see, while most people would be excited about a trip to Florida for four days, and find it relaxing, this is just going to be a ball of stress, diffusion and care-taking for me. I’d really love a real vacation, but for now, this is what I’ve got. 

Wish me luck. I’ll be around on Twitter for sure, so keep in touch there!

-Essin’ Em