Sexuality Happens

A Single Tail

I have tried a whole bunch of different fairly “traditional” kink stuff. I mean, the stuff you see being bandied about on an average dungeon play night. I’ve bottomed to almost everything you see on a regular basis, and learned to top on most of these things too. I’m talking rope play, bondage, fire play, violet wand play, flogging, TENS unit e-stim, spanking, punching, caning, piercing/needle play, service, fisting, orgasm control, humiliation play, paddling, rope suspension (haven’t topped with this), etc. 

One of the few things that I see on a fairly regular basis, that I have never ever tried, is a single tail. They scare the hell out of me. I mean, you spank someone wrong, and they’re going to have trouble sitting for a week (and some sore ligaments).  You humiliate someone in a way they don’t like, and you probably never play again (and they made need therapy).  But you fuck up with a single tail? You can literally flay someone in half and kill them.  And there are a lot of people in the kink scene who say they know what they’re doing, and don’t; that is how many many many accidents of all types of play happen.

For a while, my moose was dating someone who was actually pretty good with single tail, whipping in general. He had a lot of them, he’d gone through training by many people (including members of my kink family), and lots of people I trusted also trusted him. I told him more than once that if I ever decided to try out a single tail, he’d be the one I’d let do it to me.  And then he did somethings during his relationship with Evey that I didn’t find particularly trust worthy, or ethical, and decided that I was never going to let him touch me with his whips.  This was an activity where I needed a lot of trust, and I just didn’t have it in him.

So I’d put single tails out of my mind for a good, long time. I decided I wasn’t anti-single tails, just anti single tails for *me.*

And then, at Thunder in the Mountains, I watched an amazing single tail scene. It wasn’t about pain, or leaving bloody marks; no no. It was almost a dance. This woman, who I’d never seen before, and probably might not have noticed in any other context, was dancing, almost in an entrancing manner, as her partner single tailed her. She stared him in the eyes as she walked towards him, making him back up. Then she swayed into the hits, almost rhythmically taking them. She danced as he hit her, and she made him dance as he lashed out against her. While not particularly attracted to either member of this couple, nor to the type of play at hand, I thought it was one of the most beautiful scenes I’d ever watched, almost a dance rather than a scene.

Does this mean I’m ready for someone to bust my single tail virginity? Not yet, no. But it certainly put it in a whole new perspective for me.

-Essin’ Em

Passionate Bonds: Creating EmPowered D/s Relationships

Do you want to make your D/s relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?

http://www.fhp-inc.com/passionatebonds.html

Instructed by Midori & Laura Antoniou
Join Marketplace series author Laura Antoniou and educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers & needs in the context of the real world

Event Dates: July 30th through August 1, 2010.
Location: Private Location, Downtown Toronto
Registration now open!
Cost: $450 first person in the order, $400 for each additional individual.
Class size will be strictly limited to allow for a unique quality experience emphasizing individualized attention. Through the unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquette and codes of conduct.

Tired of searching for the ultimate guide to your D/s or SM relationship? Do you want to make your BDSM relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?

Join Marketplace series author Laura Antoniou and internationally acclaimed educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want bring a level of authenticity and quality to their relationships.

Students will learn about the many styles of relationships we enjoy, and, through guided lessons and exercises, will discover their own unique relationship needs and systems. The instructors work closely with each student to help them learn and explore, and there is plenty of time throughout the weekend for personal reflection as well as pure fun!

There are no requirements for experience or expertise; anyone who desires or engages in relationships in which dominance and submission or the expression of power exchange is welcome. Full engagement and participation in the workshop is required; communication and a willingness to fully explore the work is of vital importance. This weekend is excellent for those already involved in such relationships or households of 2 or more people; it’s also ideal for the individual who wishes to gain a clearer concept of their own needs and desires on a solo basis.

In the past year, year and a half, I’ve begun to realize how many sides there are to my sexuality. When I first started to figure out who I was, I was a bisexual submissive. I’ve turned into a queer pervert.

I am a bit sadistic sometimes. Not in the way that you hear/read/see about with serial killers. Not in an evil kind of way (although I do laugh a lot, which might make me seem a little bit more evil). I don’t like hurting people that don’t like being hurt.

When I play with my moose, I like to play rough. I get a little bit more sadistic. Why? Because she makes the most delicious noises when I run my knife across her smooth skin, when I smack my hand across her perfectly formed ass, when I rip the duct tape bonds from her…whenever I do something that I don’t think I’d much like on myself, she makes she squeaky, happy coo-ing noices. She laughs, she smiles, she makes me feel like I am fulfilling her.

When I am with Q, I am a different kind of a sadist. Q doesn’t like pain really, although she occasionally likes her nipples pulled. No, no, I’m much more of a situation sadist with her. Playing with her nipples is a) an instant way of making her horny, but b) is a great way of frustrating her…I like to play with them right before we leave the house, doing it sneakily while we’re out and about, play with her right before we fall asleep. Even though it’s not a pain situation, she makes these delicious moans and squeaks and tries to push me away and we tussle and I love trying to best her. She wins about half the time, I win the other half.

I never really thought of myself as a sadist. I mean, compare me to K, or someone who leaves someone bloody from time with a single tail. No, I’m not in that category.  But that doesn’t *not* make me a sadist per se. I can be sadistic (and very much ENJOY) being sadistic when in the right situation. When I’m teasing Q to the extreme and making her want me and know that she can’t have me at that point in time (because she knows that she can always have me in the end), I feel a rush. When I have my moose in front of me and I’m hitting her or biting her or tickling her, I feel a rush.

I’m not always ready for that side. It’s not always a part of me. It comes and it comes, and a lot of it is based on who I am playing with in that moment in time. Q and Evey (le moose) tend to bring it out in me more than anyone else ever has, and I’m slowly, but surely, learning to embrace this side of myself, this fun, amusing, laughing, fun loving, rush-filled sadistic at times side of me.

Guess who is coming to visit me in Phoenix today?

Why, my favorite moose of course! That’s right, my secondary play partner/primadary friend from Denver is coming to visit this weekend.

Did I ever tell you how I met? I was having dinner with two members of the kink community; one in Denver, one visiting, and I mentioned I liked fisting.  The gentleman I was with suggested one of his partners was kind of queer, and would probably like fisting.  I smiled and nodded, and kind of let it go.

Later that night, I went to a play party at the RACK Room, to play pinata with my visitor from Utah. We put candy all over her, and beat it off her.  Afterwards, I met Evey, my soon to be moose.  It was one of those “ohhhh, so you’re the girl your partner wants me to meet and possibly fist, right?” moments of complete awkwardness. Remember, I’m incredibly awkward. 

She let me do a spanking and paddling scene with her. It was fun and entertaining.

Since then, we’ve built our relationship in various directions. We’ve played together, I’ve played tic tac toe on her with a knife, we’ve had sex, I’ve tied her up, she’s cleaned my apartment, we’ve cuddled, hugged, chatted, cupped, fired, talked, and much much more. I love her to death, and view her as a partner, even though we’re no longer sexually active.

I can’t wait to see her, and spend the weekend with her. I have many a plan, and look forward to enacting them.

She writes her own blog; Voyeur on Display – you should check it out!

And with that, I’m off to go have fun with my moose! I have some surprises in store.

-Essin’ Em

PS.  Isn’t she adorable?

We’re back for Eye Candy this week with one of my favorite queer-tastic, kinky as fuck and sexy as anything queer porn star Madison Young. This red head runs her own kinky bondage site, but also models for other sites, such as Hogtied.com, which is where this week’s pictures are from.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet and hang out with Madison multiple times, and she is just as sexy in real life. Add that to her ridiculous sexy brain and cutting wit, and you’ve really got the full package. I’m in awe of her and her life in general, and this shoot just shows off how much she loves what she does, plus her incredible kinkability.

Click here to see the rest of the pictures and the video from this hot bondage shoot with Madison Young.

I’m back again with the super hot, super queer, super smart Loreli Lee.  Last week, I showed her on WaterBondage.com in a sexy and submissive kind of way. Today, I’m showing a little bit of her sexy, dominant, take control, Mistress side of her on MenInPain.com.

This blonde bombshell is beautiful incredibly delicious regardless of whether she’s being submissive or dominant, and I think the pictures from this men in pain scene are incredibly hot.

Click here to see the video and all the photos from this hot, queer, woman in charge scene where Lorlei totally dominants this muscular guy and shows him who is in control. Mmm.

I like pretty. You know this, I know this, the whole world knows this. I’m really into matching things; red, black, white and animal print. Now, granted, I have some toys that fall outside this color scheme. When people send me free stuff, all I ask is that’s not pink; if it’s free, I know I can’t really be choosy. So I have a turquoise Form 6, and a purple Fun Factory Curve, and an orange Ina.  In the case of the Ina, they only make it in bright colors! 

However, these cuffs? They’re perfect. They are beautiful wrist restraints made in black with red scalloped edges. Not only that, but they have matching ankle restraints (and collars!). How cool is that? I’m all about looking sexy through color/style coordination, and Stockroom (who makes these) really knows how to make a submissive/bottom look sleek, sexy and sassy.

Let’s talk about the cuffs themselves.  I have a lot of kink/fetish products, but these are some of my favorites. They are absolutely goregous, fit a variety of wrist sizes (yay for fat friendly items), and just look stunning on wrists; mine, Q’s, or anyone elses. Plus, they are lined with fleece, to keep from rubbing and add a little comfort during play, if that’s your thing.

Now, Q and I have another pair of fleece lined cuffs we’ve used before, but they leave black marks on her wrists post sex because she sweats (I’m doing a lot to her — you’d sweat a lot too!) and then the dye comes off. Not a problem with these cuffs. They’re obviously VERY good quality, so no dye issues. However, they’re also still pretty affordable (get both wrist and ankle restraints for under $100!), which I love. I hate the concept that you have to be super rich to get a ton of kink toys.

What can you do with them? Let’s see. I put them on her, then tied her wrists together all tight and such with bondage rope and teased her with a variety of sex toys. Later, I attached the cuffs with snap hooks to my lovely Under the Bed Restraint System, cause their “restraints” suck, but the concept is brilliant, so I just use nice cuffs with it, and it makes it a much better, super awesome and totally not as pervy as the rest of my house set up.

I liked them a lot, and am considering getting the ankle ones as well, for a complete and beautiful set. Q liked them because they were comfortable, looked good, and could be worn for a long period of time.  We were both very impressed, and I’d give these lovely and affordable cuffs 5 stars (out of 5)!

Click here to get pretty wrist restraints, and click here to get pretty ankle restraints!

I love porn. We know this.  This love has included being in it before, including this particular DVD, which is taken from scenes on CrashPadSeries.com. 

This particular DVD is entitled “Crash Pad Series Volume 5: Revolving Door“, and is starring Stacy Staxxx, August, Rex, Me, Red, Cyd Loverboy, Kuma, Julie Warren, Shawn and Mickey Mod. Thanks Babeland for sending it to me to review :)

The big talk about this DVD was the last scene, the one between Shawn and Mickey Mod. Why? Because Micky is a cisgender guy (his gender matches the sex his body was signed at birth; the opposite of transgender). He’s the first cisgender (and may still be the only cisgender) identified guy to be on crash pad, and so this scene was talked about a lot for whether it was queer or not (oh, I sure as hell think that is is), whether a cisgender guy should be allowed on a queer porn site (I hate that cisgender men seem to not be allowed to identify as queer sometimes?), etc.  So now I’ve covered the discussion centering around that scene, and am going to move on to discuss the rest of the DVD. If you’re interested in reading more, just google “Crash Pad Series Revolving Door” and you’ll get other reviews discussing it.

I loved the first scene with August and Stacy. There is just something there about the sweetness, the connection, the almost innocent power exchange, the hotness (and pervertedness) of dripping birthday candle wax on someone, the loving way they played with each other, the femme-tastic-ness of Stacy, the light bondage, the “plot” of celebrating a birthday…I loved it all. Was it full of hardcore S/M? Nope.  Lots of fisting? Nope. It was just sweet, sexy, hot queer porn, and honestly, I fucking love that.

My scene? Obviously I enjoyed it.  As some people joke, I may have broken the sound barrier with some of my screaming…but I *am* known for being a bit loud in bed, and else where.  Rex and I had only met once before, and hadn’t even really kissed, so it was really interesting figuring out our chemistry and interaction on camera. I enjoyed seeing that aspect a lot.

Cyd Loverboy and Red’s scene is full of hot cock sucking, fucking, and a little anal action; all hot, and having the two gender fucking queers fuck was pretty arousing to watch. Seems like Cyd’s porn career is starting to take off a bit now, and I look forward to seeing where that goes next.

Lastly was the scene between Kuma and Julie Warren; Kuma is quite the dapper leather daddy (I love the look he starts with!) and Julie Warren is such a lovely blonde.  I really loved this scene, but please note that what I love it for are things that often make people nervous; knife play, chest hitting, canes, stocking ripping, floggers and more. I liked seeing this heavier SM side of CPS, and really enjoyed this scene.

All in all, I’d say this is one of my favorite CPS compilations, and not just because my scene is on it. It’s one of the DVDs I actually see myself watching and enjoying again. 5 stars (out of 5).

-Essin’ Em

Click here to get your own Crash Pad 5.

Behold, I have rope. More specifically, Japanese Bondage Rope, thanks to the folks at SexToy.com.

Why rope? Well, as we all know, I’ve always loved stuff of a kinker variety, and of all the BDSM/Fetish toys I’ve tried, I’ve never really done rope. Yes, I’ve review a few rope bondage “how-to” books like Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes and Midori’s The Seductive Art of Japanese Rope Bondage. I’ve tied up, I’ve even been suspended a time or two back in Denver…but honestly, rope has never held much of an allure for me.  I like things that get stuff going quickly (like pretty restraints) so that it is both fast and easy to get someone (usually Q) restrained, and then just as fast and easy to get them undone at the end.

But I like the look of rope in some of the decorative ways, and I really like that this rope is already black, so it matches everything I have, no dying needed. Plus, I recently attend Lee Harrington’s basic ropes class at Fascinations. And it was cool. And I wanted to learn more about ropes and playing with them, and all that jazz.

So while I usually review sex toys, this week, I’m reviewing rope.

The rope itself isn’t hemp or nylon and anything shiny and fancy like rope enthusiasts tend to love. That’s ok; I’m a rope newbie, and I’m not willing to spend $10 a foot for some rope of fancy-ness before I figure out if I even like the damn stuff.

It’s 32 feet long, which seems like an awkward number, since most of the rope books I’ve read require lengths of 10, 15, 25, 50 feet, etc. I haven’t seen a lot of “32 feet” or “16 feet” lengths required. So basically, I wish it had been 50 feet, so I could cut it into more useful and more managable lengths of rope. However, better 32 feet than some of the cheap-o rope I’ve seen for sale that is all of 8 or 10 feet, with which you can do very little.

My other problem was that the ends were fraying. Now, with my nylon rope, I just burn the ends, voila.  However, with natural fibers like cotton, it’ll just light up on fire. There is some special way to end ropes by wrapping string around them, but you know me; when it comes to bondage, I’m more of an instant gratification kind of gal.  Ergo, I just tied really small knots. Did this make it a little more difficult to actually use the rope? Yes. But it was easier and quicker and I just got the damn thing done.

As far as using the rope, I made some pretty gauntlets on my arm, and then I used it for quick bondage; speed cuffs, tying Q’s wrist restraints together, and those kind of things.

The rope is great beginner rope. Obviously, it’s nothing amazing, and so if you’re going to be a rope slut, I might go invest in some high quality, frou frou stuff. However, for someone just starting in? This rope is brilliant, it comes in black, purple or red, which I LOVE, and it’s a decent amount. I’d give it 3.5, or maybe even 4 stars, out of 5.

Click here to get your own length of rope!

Sorry this one is going up late, but it’s been a busy week. However, to make up for it, I’m giving you not just eye candy from ONE hot queer, but TWO. Two of my favorite queer femmes are up on Everything Butt, one of the kink.com sites dedicated to awesome anal. While I’m not so much into butt play, I know I’ve had some requests for butt play pics.  Y’all, these are for YOU!

Who are they? Why, it’s Madison Young and Dylan Ryan, queer and kinky porn goddesses, and recent winners of some Feminist Porn Awards to boot!

So without any further ado, here is some eye candy from their scene together.

Click here to check out their whole shoot together!