Sexuality Happens

Lot of people have asked for pictures of my back and ass. And some even wanted to see the marks from Submit (haha. I’m not funny, I know). So now that I am safely back home, I thought I’d upload them and post a few.

So the above picture is what my back looked like about 8 hours after it being pierced. I wasn’t kidding about it being pretty. It bruised a little more after than, but they didn’t hurt or anything, just looked, as my sister said, like I had been run over with a bike. I really did like the design. As I mentioned before, I really wish I had been able to see the needles when they were in my skin.

This is what my ass looked liked, also about 8 hours afterward (before I hopped on the plane). My friend thought it was hilarious, so she was kind enough to take a picture for me. The little bruises are from…um? K’s hand? The slappy=stingy thing?

This is what it looked like on Monday, when I put on my swimsuit. As you can see, I decided to go with the tankini, because it had a slightly skirted bottom. Of course, that blew up the second I stepped outside, so it wasn’t quite as helpful as I had hoped it would be.

I wish I had taken more pictures a few days later. The black faded into a blackish purple, the inside went red, and the outside became a yellow. Quite pretty. As far as bruises go.

I also didn’t get a picture of the bruise on my right shoulder. That was my favorite one…does that seem weird? I liked being able to see it and be reminded of how I got it. When I got on the plane this morning, I realized that it was almost totally faded. My ass is about 95% back to normal too. Oddly enough, I’m sad about that. I wish I took longer to heal.

However, I scraped my elbow on the bottom of the pool yesterday, and hot damn, it hurts! Not a sexy mark. I also hurt my left forearm playing Wii on Wednesday, and then last night, I was fucking someone, and flogging her and her girlfriend, which at the time seemed like a great plan, but when I woke up this morning, my forearm tendons were killing me. WTF?

Anyways, so there is my photo journal of my marks. I can only hope that I get a few more before I go to Colorado.

-Essin’ Em

So last night, I went to a BDSM Munch (a fancy schmancy name for a potluck) and after the snacking, the eating, and the BDSM bingo (I so kid you not!), they had a class on play piercings. No, not like ‘here, pierce your clit hood so you can play with it’ (if it doesn’t reject it and you don’t have to take in out in oh, three weeks!), but piercings as a part of BDSM play.

Now, I went to this with a friend, who is much more into the hardcore BDSM things than I am. I went because I think to be a sexuality educator, you need to be completely open minded and be ready to learn. I have never been into blood play, or really actually into edge play, and the pain I like involves clamps on my nipples, wartenburg wheels running up and down my body, and spankings, hard, on the ass. Thinks that leave long term (or worse yet, permanent) marks are no my cuppa tea. Piercing is not a kink of mine.

But it is a kink of others, and so, like the good little BDSMer/sexuality grad student (1 more class and then I’m done!!!) that I am, I went to the class. I even sat in the front row.

The instructor was very thorough. She talked about everything from how nothing outside of a hospital could ever be actually sterile, but how to practice “clean and safer” play, she had a list of supplies one needs and where to get them, she talked about having water, ice cubes, instant glucose, spray powder, medical shears, etc. Her “toy kit” was ridiculously – you might even call it a tackle box o’ toys. We discussed needle gauges, length, where to get things, how to be sanitary, what to do with full sharps containers; if you needed it for piercing play 101, she covered it.

Then her bottom hopped up on the (stretcher sheet covered!) demo table, baring her legs for us all to see. Apparently, she REALLY like needle play. Hardcore needle play. Mark leaving (for 6 months+) needle play. At one scene (in the past), she had over 100 needles in her body. And she loved it. I must repeat; this IS some people’s kink. It’s not crazy, it’s not anymore unsafe than an ear piercing (and probably safer, given all the prep you go through for this), and some people really freaking enjoy it.

The instructor showed us the proper way to insert needles into her bottom’s thighs, how to do it the right depth, how to “double stick” so that the pointy end isn’t pointing out, how to make designs and rows and all that. She showed us how to play Battleship on a willing bottom with short, 1/2″ long needles, and how to make designs. We learned the nice way to take them out (bevel up!) and the not so nice (and often times, mark leaving) way to remove them. Again, the bottom was loving this. And didn’t flinch at all.

Then it was our turn. If we wanted to, we could go through the prep process, and try giving a piercing ourselves onto the bottom (who was all about this, given her smile). A few people went, and I watched. One or two messed up, but the bottom was just chilling; she almost didn’t seem to feel it. Finally, I got up the courage, heart pounding, adrenaline pumping overtime (who knew you could get so many endorphins from actually being the piercer??), and I gloved up. I was so freaking nervous, I was halfway to passing out myself. Why, you may ask, did I subject myself to this anxiety?

A few reasons. Firstly, I get stuck by needles (the non-tattoo variety) A LOT. Usually more than once a month (I have a lot o’ health issues). At one point, they took 14 vials of blood for testing. I kind of wanted to see what it was like to be on the other side, sticking someone. Secondly, how freaking often am I going to get the chance to attempt a play piercing on a willing bottom, in a brightly lit room, with an experience instructor looking on and helping? I’m thinking about as often as Haley’s comet visits the atmosphere above Earth. So I decided to do it.

I’m left handed, so I had to do the reverse of everyone else, but after introducing myself to the bottom, decapping the needle, I grabbed the skin, being careful of where I placed my pointer finger, and slowly, and VERY carefully, I placed the needle in a sub-dermis manner, and double stuck it. The instructor said I did very well. I almost passed out once I had my gloves off. I don’t even like roller coasters, but it felt like I had been riding one.

The woman teaching the class played in the blood after she removed the needles (still wearing nitrile gloves of course), making smiley faces and hearts, and signing her name. After this, she poured hydrogen peroxide over the bottom’s thighs, making them sizzle with bubbles. After wiping her down and cleaning her and the area up, she asked if anyone wanted to try being pierced.

I figured in for a penny, in for a half pound (in for a quarter, in for a Sacajawea?). I had my upper arm cleaned and santitized, and an inch and a half long needle stuck through the skin, double stuck, and played with.

Well…

To be honest, it did nothing for me. But I think that’s because of my medical history. I used to HATE needles when I was younger, but I was always having to get shots/get my blood drawn/have IVs put in (and I have like NO veins, so it’s usually in the wrist or top of the hand, and it’s been known to take more than 7 sticks), so I developed into dealing with them. I have techniques, and clearly, I don’t hate them anymore. I just deal. So having this needle placed through my skin wasn’t sexy, or hot, or horrible, or anything. I just felt like I was getting a shot or something; very medicalized. Now, granted, I might feel different should it happen in a scene, but it’s really not that big of a turn on for me in general. By the way, 24+ hours later; my arm is FINE, and you can’t even tell, just for the record.

All in all, I’m really glad I took the class, I’m really glad I got pierced (although it didn’t do anything for me), and I’m super duper freaking glad I had the chance to try piercing someone (although it almost gave me a heart attack because I’m terrified of seriously/medically hurting someone, like jabbing through a corroted or femoral artery) because a) it’s something to cross off my list, b) I understand more about this kink/the culture and practice of it, c) I’m probably never going to get the chance to do that again, d) it pushed my own boundaries and challenged me immensely, and e) I’ve learned something new to help me be a better sexuality educator.

What’s next? Perhaps a fire play class? Cupping? Branding? Who knows!

Warm fuzzies and cold pricklies (to those who like it!),

Essin’ Em

Donate here to help fight against sexual assault. Tell them I linked you (Essin’ Em or my blog name) and it’s for GBBMC2008

GBBMC2008 info

So last night, I went to a BDSM Munch (a fancy schmancy name for a potluck) and after the snacking, the eating, and the BDSM bingo (I so kid you not!), they had a class on play piercings. No, not like ‘here, pierce your clit hood so you can play with it’ (if it doesn’t reject it and you don’t have to take in out in oh, three weeks!), but piercings as a part of BDSM play.

Now, I went to this with a friend, who is much more into the hardcore BDSM things than I am. I went because I think to be a sexuality educator, you need to be completely open minded and be ready to learn. I have never been into blood play, or really actually into edge play, and the pain I like involves clamps on my nipples, wartenburg wheels running up and down my body, and spankings, hard, on the ass. Thinks that leave long term (or worse yet, permanent) marks are no my cuppa tea. Piercing is not a kink of mine.

But it is a kink of others, and so, like the good little BDSMer/sexuality grad student (1 more class and then I’m done!!!) that I am, I went to the class. I even sat in the front row.

The instructor was very thorough. She talked about everything from how nothing outside of a hospital could ever be actually sterile, but how to practice “clean and safer” play, she had a list of supplies one needs and where to get them, she talked about having water, ice cubes, instant glucose, spray powder, medical shears, etc. Her “toy kit” was ridiculously – you might even call it a tackle box o’ toys. We discussed needle gauges, length, where to get things, how to be sanitary, what to do with full sharps containers; if you needed it for piercing play 101, she covered it.

Then her bottom hopped up on the (stretcher sheet covered!) demo table, baring her legs for us all to see. Apparently, she REALLY like needle play. Hardcore needle play. Mark leaving (for 6 months+) needle play. At one scene (in the past), she had over 100 needles in her body. And she loved it. I must repeat; this IS some people’s kink. It’s not crazy, it’s not anymore unsafe than an ear piercing (and probably safer, given all the prep you go through for this), and some people really freaking enjoy it.

The instructor showed us the proper way to insert needles into her bottom’s thighs, how to do it the right depth, how to “double stick” so that the pointy end isn’t pointing out, how to make designs and rows and all that. She showed us how to play Battleship on a willing bottom with short, 1/2″ long needles, and how to make designs. We learned the nice way to take them out (bevel up!) and the not so nice (and often times, mark leaving) way to remove them. Again, the bottom was loving this. And didn’t flinch at all.

Then it was our turn. If we wanted to, we could go through the prep process, and try giving a piercing ourselves onto the bottom (who was all about this, given her smile). A few people went, and I watched. One or two messed up, but the bottom was just chilling; she almost didn’t seem to feel it. Finally, I got up the courage, heart pounding, adrenaline pumping overtime (who knew you could get so many endorphins from actually being the piercer??), and I gloved up. I was so freaking nervous, I was halfway to passing out myself. Why, you may ask, did I subject myself to this anxiety?

A few reasons. Firstly, I get stuck by needles (the non-tattoo variety) A LOT. Usually more than once a month (I have a lot o’ health issues). At one point, they took 14 vials of blood for testing. I kind of wanted to see what it was like to be on the other side, sticking someone. Secondly, how freaking often am I going to get the chance to attempt a play piercing on a willing bottom, in a brightly lit room, with an experience instructor looking on and helping? I’m thinking about as often as Haley’s comet visits the atmosphere above Earth. So I decided to do it.

I’m left handed, so I had to do the reverse of everyone else, but after introducing myself to the bottom, decapping the needle, I grabbed the skin, being careful of where I placed my pointer finger, and slowly, and VERY carefully, I placed the needle in a sub-dermis manner, and double stuck it. The instructor said I did very well. I almost passed out once I had my gloves off. I don’t even like roller coasters, but it felt like I had been riding one.

The woman teaching the class played in the blood after she removed the needles (still wearing nitrile gloves of course), making smiley faces and hearts, and signing her name. After this, she poured hydrogen peroxide over the bottom’s thighs, making them sizzle with bubbles. After wiping her down and cleaning her and the area up, she asked if anyone wanted to try being pierced.

I figured in for a penny, in for a half pound (in for a quarter, in for a Sacajawea?). I had my upper arm cleaned and santitized, and an inch and a half long needle stuck through the skin, double stuck, and played with.

Well…

To be honest, it did nothing for me. But I think that’s because of my medical history. I used to HATE needles when I was younger, but I was always having to get shots/get my blood drawn/have IVs put in (and I have like NO veins, so it’s usually in the wrist or top of the hand, and it’s been known to take more than 7 sticks), so I developed into dealing with them. I have techniques, and clearly, I don’t hate them anymore. I just deal. So having this needle placed through my skin wasn’t sexy, or hot, or horrible, or anything. I just felt like I was getting a shot or something; very medicalized. Now, granted, I might feel different should it happen in a scene, but it’s really not that big of a turn on for me in general. By the way, 24+ hours later; my arm is FINE, and you can’t even tell, just for the record.

All in all, I’m really glad I took the class, I’m really glad I got pierced (although it didn’t do anything for me), and I’m super duper freaking glad I had the chance to try piercing someone (although it almost gave me a heart attack because I’m terrified of seriously/medically hurting someone, like jabbing through a corroted or femoral artery) because a) it’s something to cross off my list, b) I understand more about this kink/the culture and practice of it, c) I’m probably never going to get the chance to do that again, d) it pushed my own boundaries and challenged me immensely, and e) I’ve learned something new to help me be a better sexuality educator.

What’s next? Perhaps a fire play class? Cupping? Branding? Who knows!

Warm fuzzies and cold pricklies (to those who like it!),

Essin’ Em

Donate here to help fight against sexual assault. Tell them I linked you (Essin’ Em or my blog name) and it’s for GBBMC2008

GBBMC2008 info

I just took a couple of quick pictures before I took my piercing out, just so I’d have them. Since a couple people asked for a picture, I thought I’d put one up. What you can’t really see is that the top barbell has a red gemstone (CZ), since I decided to bling my thing.

It still isn’t healed right, even though I took it out more than 2 weeks ago. As J says, it looks kind of like a tranny cock. I don’t think it looks as much like that, as just like it’s reading for a piercing…basically, so much scar tissue built up so fast that it is still in the same shape as though a barbell was still in it, raised in a vertical way. It’s kind of weird, and still stings sometimes…but oh well, what can you do.

It’s so frustrating. I’m horny, but orgasms (or sexual stimulation in general) bring on these death migraines. So I couldn’t masturbate for a like 4 weeks because of this damn clit hood piercing, and now I can’t masturbate for fear of getting a death migraine. Am I never going to be able to have orgasms again? Will I remain sexless for the rest of my life?

Has anyone else suddenly started to have super bad migraines because of sex (and orgasms?) I mean, I used to get migraines when I was like 13 and masturbating, because I held my breath when I orgasmed, and that triggered them, but now I’ve changed my breathing patterns, and it hasn’t been a problem up until recently…but in late August, I started getting normal migraines, and now I’m getting literally the worst headaches of my life (that’s how the 5 day long one was triggered; playing with J and the magic wand). Suggestions? Advice? Anything to help me until I get into a doctor? And how the hell to do explain this to a doctor?

Oy. That’s all I have to say

I gave up. It hurt more than 3/4 of the time. It was stinging and burning randomly. It hurt to touch it to wash it. I was fucking horny…and was supposed to be able to masturbate now, but I still could barely function! My PT exercises were extremely painful to do. It was starting to scar, and the piercers weren’t sure if it was going to go away.

When it first was done, and was tender all the time, I went back in, and apparently my original barbell was too short. I got a new, longer one.

Then the burning started. And the stinging. And the having to pee all the damn time (which never happened before…and the piercer said there is no way it’s related…but HELLO – new barbell right above my urethra…having to pee all the time…connected? I think it’s possible). I waited a few days, and went back in. They said the soap (the special soap I BOUGHT FROM THEM) was irritating it. I bought new vegan Naked soap from them. They said I had to be more careful with my salt water rinses, and mix them more carefully. I used a measuring cup for the 8oz and measuring spoons to get my 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Not only did the stinging and burning continue, but the bump that they said was something like hydro trophic scarring or something has gotten bigger. I had originally said I was going to wait till Wednesday…but it hasn’t gotten any better, and I’m visiting J this weekend, so I would like to be able to be at least partially sexually active without stinging pain.

Yes, it felt good. There was definite sensation from it…but no spontaneous orgasms, and all the work and pain and extra peeing? Sooooo not worth it. My hitachi can get me off just fine with out it…as can J.

Taking it out was an adventure. I tried with my fingers, with pliers, with latex gloves – the bells would not come off. I finally called the piercer, and wound up trying with gloves AND pliers, and I got it off. Oh the drama. And then I sea salt soaked it, just to be cautious.

I’m just wondering how long it’ll take to heal. It didn’t bleed…and the hole is still there and fairly obvious, probably because I had it pierced with a 10 gauge…any ideas? Most importantly, can I have sex on Friday???

I finally sucked it up and went back to the piercing place on Monday night. I saw a different piercer who agreed with my assumption that my barbell was too short, and gave me another, longer barbell. She also went with a straight one (not curved) since she said it went better with my anatomy.

I could feel the difference right away – not more pinching or stinging, and even just driving home from the store, the cobblestones felt marvelous.

Sadly, this morning, I broke my favorite shot glass (a double sized Maleficent “Disney Villains” one) while putting it on the counter after sea salt soaking my piercing :(

Otherwise though, it’s healing so much faster and feeling soooo much better than before.

Just thought I’d let you all know the current situation

Sorry! I know I’m quite late to the game this week, but better late than never. You get a lovely ass shot to make up for it :) I’ll try to be more timely next week.

I *will* point a REAL entry at some point soon – I’m currently writing one on “I love you” vs. “being in love” and the language of love in general. Just with work (normal hours, plus one hour commute each way), plus school starting, and all that jazz, I’ve been super busy! And tomorrow I have PT, my 4th HPV shot (it’s a long story…the third one was from a fridge that had a broken thermometer, so I apparently, according to the CDC, need to have a 4th one. My doctor happens to about 90 minutes from my new place…so you can see why I haven’t gotten in there yet), new grad student orientation (I intend to make a cameo), Human Sexuality Education students reception, and a welcome party at Ashley’s. Then on Saturday, my friend and I are driving up to Mass (stopping NY to see J!) to see Pioneer Valley Roller Derby play. We’ll crash there, and drive back Sunday. Exciting last weekend before school begins for shizzzzzle.

So HHNT and I *will* post soon, promise! Don’t give up on me!

Update on the piercing: it hurts less, still sore though. Ugh.

Because it’s a pretty big part of my life right now.

Last night J called, being cute and sweet and what not. I’m trying to be sweet and sexy-ish. Thank god for the phone…why? Picture me, lying on my bed in a tank top and underwear, legs splayed open, ice pack on my vulva. Flashbacks to The Cutting Edge anyone? (PS, I love that movie, figure skated for 12 years then played ice hockey, totally identify with it, and evidently need to buy it. Put it on my to do list, somewhere above being fisted and below taking over the world). Not sexy. Very funny looking.

It still hurts. Especially after I have been sitting a while (like for 3 hours and 45 minutes in traffic on the way home from my new job last night after a tractor trailer overturned) and then get up. I’m salt water soaking it in the morning, washing it with medical soap in the shower in the evening. It still hurts. WHY? How long? I need advice!

I keep thinking it’s been so long, that I should call the shop to see if it is infected….but then I realize it’s only the third full day. How long should I wait until I get worried?

It DOES feel good and stimulating, under the pain and soreness. But not enough to make it worth it should it get infected. I am such a newbie in the world of piercings (particularly genital piercings), as I just have 6 ear lobe holes and 1 cartilage hole. I just don’t want to mess things up. And I want to masturbate god damn it.

However, it does look really pretty :)

More on it later, but I am LOVING my new job (minus traffic issues). The people are nice, the company is awesome, they’re fulfilling their end of the deal, and we’re really working towards creating a sex positive community. w00t!

-Essin’ Em

And because now I’m remembering how much I love the Cutting Edge, here’s a little taste for those of you who forgot about/have never seen it:

So I’ve tried something else new.

I got a clitoral hood piercing…vertical to be more specific. Pictures to come in a few weeks when it’s all healed and what not.

I went to a very well known and reputable salon in Philadelphia…a bit more expensive than the local shop, but I figured for having needles near my vulva, it was worth the investment.

Two of my friends went with me (yes, we bonded over having my naughty bits pierced – I’m aware I’m an odd one), and I honestly think they were more nervous than I was. I mean, I’ve had 6 ear lobe piercings, one cartilage piecing, 3 tattoos (plus touch ups) and oh yes, I like being spanked and having clothes pins on my nipples. The only two things I was worried about were either screaming or passing out. It would seriously hurt my tough “I can take anything” cred.

The piercer was awesome – amusing, respectful, and totally put me at ease – he made it an almost relaxed situation, well, as relaxing as it can be with someone you don’t know between your legs, shoving sharp objects through my clitoral hood.

He told me it would hurt about the same as an ear lobe piercing…it hurt more, but certainly not as much as cartilage being pierced. A sharp pain, and then not too much. When I went to look at it in the mirror, one of my friends only passed out from the fact that there was some blood. I, on the other hand, was fine, and totally stoked at how awesome it looked.

It’s tender of course, but oh my god, it feels AMAZING. No spontaneous orgasms, and it definitely stings a bit still, but walking through CVS to get panty liners (to deal with the blood for the next two or three days), I was so aroused. Which I guess sucks, since I can’t masturbate or have sex for 2-3 weeks (interestingly enough, I’m going to visit J in 3 weeks…how perfect!). But it feels gooooood.

Does anyone have a hood piercing? How long did it take to stop bleeding a little? To heal? What problems did you have? Advice? I have special medical anti-bacterial soap, and sea salt (and a shot glass) for sea salt soaks – anything else I should be aware of?

Thanks in advance for tips :)

It really is pretty, by the way….

-Essin’ Em