Sexuality Happens

I leave this afternoon to go speak at Brown University’s Sex Week. They’ve really loaded it up with awesome sex educators; myself, Oh Megan, Sarah Sloane and more!

What am I talking about while there?

Monday, March 15th

Strap-On 101 w/ Shanna Katz

Time/Location: 12:00pm @ Sarah Doyle Women’s Center lounge (26 Benevolent St.)

Come learn all about the joys and pleasures of strapping it on. Who said harnesses were just for girl-on-girl action? In this workshop, we’ll discuss double-penetration, “pegging,” using harnesses for cuckolding, “femmecock,” and so much more! Ever wonder what the difference is between a g-string and a dual strap? We’ll cover that too! You’ll learn how to properly work a strap-on, contemplate a plethora of positions, and learn about the pros/cons of different types of toys. This class is open to singles, couples and moresomes of all sexes and genders. Never used a harness before? That’s fine – we’ll start with the basics. Plus, everyone will get to try on harnesses with toys to get a feel for the different styles, as well as figure out what works best for them.

SexAbility w/ Shanna Katz (and potentially Marlene Chait, a Brown Post-Doc Research Fellow whose doctoral dissertation is ‘An Exploratory Study About Women with Physical Disabilities: Survey of Their Views on Personal Assistance Services (PAS), Sexuality Education, and Sexual Expression’)

Time/Location: 5:30pm @ Salomon 202

People of all ability levels are sexual beings. Sex is hard enough to navigate and negotiate when one fits in with society’s notions of what a sexual being is, but once you add in the concept of ability, it can become quite challenge. This workshop is discussion-based, and covers issues such as coming out to your partner(s), how to discuss ability levels, new things to try, correct terminology, negotiating sex play (including kink/BDSM play), and much more. Participants are encouraged to share suggestions, trade ideas, etc. Great for people of all ability levels (and their partners) who want to recognize themselves as sexual beings. This workshop hopes to challenge people’s viewpoints, foster discussion and conversation, and open doors towards a shift in the social constructions surrounding sexuality and disability.

Make it Work Outside the Box: Relationship-Mapping & Communication w/ Shanna Katz

Time/Location: 8:30pm @ List 120 (64 College St.)

Description: Communication is key, but how DO we communicate? More importantly, how does communication change (or not) once we break the boundaries of what are considered “traditional relationships”? In this workshop we’ll talk about the different styles of communication, the languages of love, types of non-verbal communication, why communcation is so important, and how to adapt all of this for kinky AND vanilla relationships. We’ll gain an understanding about the basic types of relationships that people have in their lives, how we can map them, patterns to look for, and what we can get out of these maps. Finally, we’ll talk about polyamory/non-monogamy – its various facets, how to get into it, and most importantly, how we can make it work when there are more than two people involved. Bring paper, pen, and an open mind. We will be raffling off two Tantus toys at this event, so make sure you arrive early and get a seat!

Tuesday, March 16th

Feminist Pornography (Out For Lunch) w/ Shanna Katz

Time/Location: 12:00pm @ LGBTQ Resource Center (3rd floor Hillel, at 80 Angell St.)

Are you one of those who has wondered exactly what it is that makes porn “feminist” or “sex positive?” Join us as we talk about definitions of pornography and obscenity, and how sexual pleasure can be recording in a feminist and sex positive way. We’ll discuss current companies who identify as sex positive, and what separates them (or not!) from current, mainstream pornographic productions. By the end of this talk, everyone will still have formed different opinons, but will be more educated as to what this sex positive porn movement is.

When I was in San Francisco, I had four classes and one reading planned. The reading went off without a hitch, and two of my four classes (Vaginal Fisting for One and All and SexAbility) had particapatory, albeit small audiences, and were awesome.

However, two classes just failed. My BDSM 101 class failed because no one had shown up, and I’d gone through all the trouble of lugging floggers, canes, crops, knives, vampire gloves, wartenburg wheels and more from Phoenix to San Francisco, and then from the hotel to Femina Potens.  Alas, these things happen.

But what has shaken my confidence a bit, and taken a while to get over was my Relationship Mapping/Poly 101 class schedule first, on Wednesday night. 

First of all, no one showed up to open the door till 5 minutes till 6. Which really didn’t matter, since no one had shown up by then.  Finally, two people, a couple showed up. I waited a little longer to get started, and then I did. With a class of two.  One of whom told me he’d been around paint fumes all day and was in not mood to be interactive or participate.  Which was great, since this is the class where we all draw relationship maps of our own lives, and figure out what they mean, how they change over time, etc. Ok, fine.  Q was there with me, so she, and I, and the volunteer, and the woman in the couple participated. And then! My friend from Denver who is now going to school in SF showed up. Yay! Another friendly face. I continued in my talk when suddenly, 25 minutes into my presentation, the woman stood up, said “this is way too basic for us. I mean, maybe if you’d been here last year, we’d have gotten something out it, but we’re not interested.” And she and her partner walked out after taking my handouts (that I save for the end of the class).

I sat there in shock for a moment, and then, to my chagrin, I burst into tears.  Thank goodness for the volunteer, and Q, and my friend, and the next speaker, Catherine Toyooka, who all comforted me, and said that they were clearly just looking to pick up another poly couple, and that they were rude, and that some of the questions they had asked indicated they might be a bit homophobic.  None of these answers made me feel much better, but having a little group of people, only half of whom I knew, trying to comfort me, that in and of itself was comforting.

Did it shake my confidence? Oh yes.  I have NEVER had anyone walk out of a class/workshop before…regardless of whether there were 50 people or 5.  I was a little angry, because purposely put 101 in the class name, so that people who have all the basics don’t accidently show up (likely why no one came to my BDSM 101 class). But more so, I was hurt.  Was I really that bad a presenter that people couldn’t even hang on till the end of the presentation to leave? Was I so bad it was worth being rude to me?

The next day, I did my fisting demo.  I had almost 15 people, which again, while small, created an interactive and intimate audience that was wonderful. I was a little nervous and shakey to start, but I had Q and the lovely Alphafemme in the audience, and a plethora of strangers asking great questions and being really engaged. I felt revitalized and excited and so happy to be educating again.  It helped that Roxxie of Cyber-Dyke was my brilliant demo bottom.

So where do I stand now? I fly to Brown University on Sunday to present 4 classes/workshops on Monday and Tuesday.  I’m doing a cunnilingus class here in Phoenix in April. I was on Kink on Tap last weekend and felt that Sarah Sloane and I rocked the casbah. So clearly, some people/groups like me and want to hear what I have to say.

But every time I present now, I know I’ll have that tiny little worry of “what if?”  What if people walk out? What if people want to walk out but are too polite to and just sit through a horrible class? What if I can never “make it” as a sex educator?

And that, my dear readers, is my most recent story of sex educator fail.

-Essin’ Em

Last month, I presented a workshop at one of the Fascinations stores in Phoenix entitled “What’s In Your Toybox?” It was recorded, and now is online for everyone to see, in case you missed it, don’t live in Phoenix, etc. Enjoy!

-Essin’ Em

(Special thanks to Matt at Fascinations for rocking out with the video stuff!)

A friend of mine, Audacia Ray, is doing some great research along with some other researchers in regards to what people can access at public libraries on the internet, including both websites and using search terms.  It’s really sad that in many places, things that are put in place to “protect” us then wind up hindering us from finding important information. I remember in High School, the library blocked the term breast as pornographic, so you couldn’t look up breast cancer, or anything about self exams. On the same note, when I was in a class where I had to do a presentation on contraception, and one on Tay-Sachs, I couldn’t find a lot of the information I needed, as many search terms were block. 

Many people cannot afford their own computer or internet access in their place, so they use public libraries to ascertain information. By blocking them from getting information about abortion decisions, anal health, and transgender/transsexual identities, we are doing the public a HUGE disservice.  Below is information on the study; all you have to do in order to help out is go to your local library, type in www.infoandthelibrary.org and fill out the survey on the site.

I hope if you have a free moment, you participate in this very important research.  It’s an easy way to give back and help support sex positivity with very little time and no financial obligation.

-Essin’ Em

We are investigating the use of content filters on public library computers with Internet access. The priority research areas are access to information about sexuality and sexual reproductive health. We need help with this work, and request that people all over the United States visit their local public library and do some simple searches. In places with filters, the items that are filtered are not standard across systems. Filtering today cannot be fine-tuned to exclude only pornographic or violent content rather than health information. For example, in a large east coast city, only the word “anal” seemed to be filtered, which prevented people from gaining access to information about anal cancer as well as any potential sexual content. www.infoandthelibrary.com

Note: I don’t actually have this suitcase, although I really wish I did!

This afternoon, Q and I are leaving to the wonderous city of San Francisco. I’ve only been once, and she’s never been, so it should be very excited.

I’m teach on Thursday, Friday, and most of the day Saturday. Click here to see what classes/workshops I’m doing when and where. I’d love to see you!

Additionally, I look forward to meet up with Dr. Charlie Glickman, Carol Queen, Jiz Lee, Madison Young, Ian Sparks,  Margaret and T of They Belong to Us, Mollena, and hopefully a variety of other awesome sex-positive people while in the Bay Area. I’m going to hook my essinem at gmail dot com email up to Q’s phone, and I should have wireless in the hotel, so if you don’t have my number, and would like to meet for coffee/tea/drinks/veggie friendly food, just shoot me an email or DM me on twitter with your number

Hoping for good weather, safe travel, low pain, full classes/workshops, and a great time all around.

See you on the flip side!

-Essin’ Em

This is a repost from ShannaKatz.com for the most part. For those who don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, I’m heading to San Francisco this week. Q will be at a higher ed conference, and I’m going to put on some classes/workshops, as well as meet up with some of my favorite sex positive people.

Hope to see you there!

-Essin’ Em

I’m heading out to one of my favorite cities this week; beautiful San Francisco. While out there, I’ll be presenting not one, not two, not even three, but four classes/workshops AND I’ll be reading erotica with the lovely Rita Seagrave and dashing Patrick Califia.

What’s the 411 on what’s going on? Well, you can always check my schedule, but I’ll break it down for you here as well.

February 25th – I’ll be at the Center for Sex and Culture talking about Relationship Mapping and Poly 101. Click here to get more info.

February 26th – I’ll be presening my famous Vaginal Fisting for One and All at the CSC. Click here to get more info.

February 27th – Today is a busy day, as I’m part of Sizzle at Femina Potens. At 2pm, I’m talking about BDSM 101 (click here for info/tickets). At 4pm, I’m presenting Sexability, about sex and dis/ability (click here for info/tickets). Then at 8pm, I’m reading erotica (click here to get info/tickets).

There you go folks; 5 opportunities to come learn, chat, grown and talk about sex with me. I’ll be available after each class/workshop to talk more one and one, and I certainly hope to see many of you (of those in the Bay Area) at one or more of these events!

As many of you know, I’ve been working for Fascinations as their online media specialist and resident sex educator.

This Thursday, Feb 18th (aka, tomorrow!), I’ll be putting on a free workshop at one of our Scottsdale, AZ stores called “What’s In Your Toy Box.” It’ll be a great sex toy 101 on what toys are designed for, how they can be used, the care, storage and cleaning of sex toys, other ways you can use them, etc.  Should be lots of fun.

For more information, click here for our blog post on the subject. Would love to see you there!

Lots of people have been asking me about how my new job at Fascinations as their Resident Sex Educator and Online Media Specialist is going. The answer? Just swimmingly.  As you can see above, they got our sex ed department a full sized vulva puppet, who we’ve named Vivian the Vivacious Vulva. Side note: a reader bought me a mini vulva puppet, who is ADORABLE, and who I’ve named Veronica, for when I do my own sex ed classes.

Anyways, the above picture is at a Let’s Talk Sex open house. We’ve been doing some sex ed classes, with Tristan Taormino and Oh Meghan, and are really looking to expand this spring.  We’ve got a whole list of awesome educators that I can’t tell you about till they’re confirmed, but it’s going to be super cool.

Obviously, I went to Vegas for the AEE and AVNs.  It was awesome. But we’ve already talked about that.  Let’s talk about new things.

We’ve stopped selling anal eaze, shrink creams and numbing balms on our site. You can read about it here.  Taking it out of stores will be a longer process that involves educating the customer, but we’re on that too.

We’ll be working with Sex 2.0 on sponsorship of this awesome event.

We’ll be doing video reviews on our blog.

We’re sending out other items to be reviewed and or given away on other blogs.

We’re consistantly rocking out on our facebook and twitter, including giveaways.

In many of our stores, we now carry Good Releasing titles, and will have them online soon!

Soon, we’ll have an awesome new affiliate program where we’ll have a 30% commission payout! (info coming on that).

We’ve brought some great sex education writers on board as well.

I got to go give an awesome safer sex/general sexuality talk to a dorm on the ASU campus…including tons of free condoms, lube, some dams, and toy giveways.

I also got to go with Q (not pictured obviously) to the Arizona Fetish Ball, as seen below:

Plus, we’re giving members of local kink organizations in AZ and CO 10% off of all in store purchases.

Yeah. While the whole getting up ridiculously early to get to work thing is frustrating (my ideal work schedule; 10am-7pm), I do love this job, and I’m so excited about the change we’re enacting at FunLove.com.

-Essin’ Em

Photo Credit: Hawksdream

To those of you who may have missed the multiple but sometimes not attention grabbing memos, I am, when not writing under this pen name, Shanna Katz, M.Ed.  Sexuality Educator and fisting faciliator and all that jazz.

In order to find out where I’m going to put on classes/workshops/trainings,etc, to hire me to teach/consult/train/lecture/etc, to learn about me, to find out about sex coaching I can provide, to contact me regarding sexuality education, etc…

I’d like to present the new, and oh so improved (thanks to the lovely AAG!), and accented with leopard print (of course!),

ShannaKatz.com

That is all. Please enjoy. I have some blog posts there (more educations/news based/informative) than the ones on here, I have my schedule, contact info, and so on.  Have fun, and enjoy your Saturday.

Do you live in the Phoenix area? If so, what are you up to tonight?

Why:

Tonight, I, along with representatives from Wet, Tantus and Fun Factory, will be running the open house at the Fascinations in Tempe, AZ. Come chat with me, talk toys, ask sex/uality questions, meet our new vulva puppet (oh yes, she talks!), and much more.

Where:

838 W. Elliot 
Tempe, AZ 85284
Ph: 480-222-0040 

When: 

6pm-8pm

How:

No reservations needed, and no cost. Just show up, learn more about lubes and toys, and talk with a sex educator.

Who:

Me, of course (www.ShannaKatz.com), and reps from many of your favorite toy companies. It should be fun, informations, and hopefully everyone will get something interesting out of it.

Want more info on Fascinations? Visit www.FunLove.com, or check out the Fascinations Fun Love Blog.