Essin’ Em

Call for Submissions: Lesbian BDSM Erotica Anthology [Title Forthcoming]
To be published by Cleis Press in fall 2011

Editor Sinclair Sexsmith is looking for hot, sexy, well-written stories about kinky sex between queer women, from bondage scenarios to power play to role play to sadism and masochism to sensation play, for a new anthology of lesbian BDSM erotica. Looking for characters with a range of age, race, sexual experience, gender identity and gender expression: butch, femme, genderqueer, gender-non-conforming, dapper, and others will all be considered. Cis women, trans women, and genderqueer characters who identify with the lesbian community are welcome. Stories should have strong literary voice, characters, tension, and rising action. All characters must be over 18, prose only will be considered. For examples of what I am looking for, see Tristan Taormino’s collection Best Lesbian Bondage Erotica.

Deadline: January 1, 2011

How to submit: Send your story in a Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document (.doc) with pages numbered of 1,500 to 5,000 words to lesbianbdsmerotica@gmail.com. Double space the document and indent the first line of each paragraph. US grammar required. If you are using a pseudonym, provide your real name and be clear under which you would like to be published. Include your mailing address and a 50 words or less bio in the third person. Publisher has final approval over the manuscript.

About the editor: Sinclair Sexsmith runs the award-winning personal online writing project Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Gender, and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top at sugarbutch.net. With work published in various anthologies, including the Best Lesbian Erotica series, Sometimes She Lets Me: Butch/Femme Erotica, and Visible: A Femmethology volume 2, Mr. Sexsmith also writes columns for online publications and facilitates workshops on sex, gender, and relationships. Find her full portfolio and schedule at http://www.mrsexsmith.com.

The lovely and talented Tristan Taormino was kind enough to send me a copy of Rough Sex 2, her newest movie, in order to jill off to it. I mean, review it.

Rough Sex 2 features a freaking fabulous cast of stars, including Dylan Ryan, Madison Young, Adrianna Nicole, April Flores, Claire Adams, Sinnamon Love and more. With a group of amazing performers such as these, you know that this is going to be a fabulous movie.

The first scene is with Mistress Dylan and her submissive Madison, who bakes her a lovely (and vegan) cake. This scene wasn’t really my cup of tea, as I personally am not so much into toe licking or much ass play, and this scene was pretty chock full of both of these. However, if you have a foot, ass, or food fetish, at ALL, this is a super hot scene. I just wanted a slice of cake myself. A fun scene, and a great way to ease into the film, as there wasn’t much in the way of S/M.

My favorite scene is next. Shocking, if you know me, as there is so much fucking pink in this bloody scene, and I am not known for my love of pink. However, the chemistry and laughter between April Flores and Claire Adams is just so incredibly hot…not to mention that there is not one, but TWO hitachis. TWO HITACHIS?!?! How freaking amazing is that? I love the pre-scene conversation between the two, the laughter, the sex, all of it. I wasn’t sure I was going to like it, and rolled my eyes at the pink, but honestly, it’s one of my favorite porn scenes I may have ever scene, and I watch a LOT of porn. Don’t skip this one, despite the pink and “lighter” SM.

One of my favorite pre- scene conversations was that with Madison’s pony play scene. Tristan is such a great mediator for rough sex negotiations, and I loved being able to really see her in her element as she talked with both Pony and owner. Kinksters can definitely takes some of her well directed questions to their own pre-scene negotiations, and I really appreciate being able to see them, in addition to the actual scenes themselves. The scene itself wasn’t so much my fetish, and once the sex started, I kind of tuned out, as it seemed a bit more traditional/mainstream, yet in a barn. However, watching Madison go through her paces, and whiny with excitement was pretty interesting and enjoyable to observe.

Adrianna’s, Bobbi’s and Sinnamon’s scenes were also quite interesting and fabulous — both the negotiations and the actual scenes themselves, and tended to epitomize the concept of “rough sex” in a more traditional light than the other scenes.

All in all, this is a great cross-spectrum look at hot fantasies by real people (who just so happen to be porn stars) living out the rough sex that actually turns them on. There isn’t much of the stereotypical leather and dungeons that people often think of when talking about rough which I love, because it shows diversity of fantasies.  Good job, as usual, to Tristan for her great look at the spectrum of sexuality.

Click here to get your own copy of Tristan Taormino’s hot porn Rough Sex 2.

-Essin’ Em

Tonight, I’m doing a demo called “Kink Games People Play” at the Venus Tent (women/trans area) at 5pm. If you’ll be there, come say hi.

I’m hoping I get to see Mollena too — she’s one of my favorite San Francisco people, and she’s International Ms Leather, so she’ll be running around being awesome.

I’m a little nervous…sometimes I feel like I’m told that I’m not “kinky enough” because I don’t do nearly as much power play as people. And sometimes, I’ve been uncomfortable in kink settings because they’ve been very heterocentric, cisgender centric and queeraphobic. However, at the very least, I know that will NOT be the case here (I mean, look at where we are), and so I shall go forth, kinky and queer pride held high, and enjoy this hopefully awesome of awesome festivals.

May the kink be with you,

Essin’ Em

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There are no requirements for experience or expertise; anyone who desires or engages in relationships in which dominance and submission or the expression of power exchange is welcome. Full engagement and participation in the workshop is required; communication and a willingness to fully explore the work is of vital importance. This weekend is excellent for those already involved in such relationships or households of 2 or more people; it’s also ideal for the individual who wishes to gain a clearer concept of their own needs and desires on a solo basis.

I am a bit sadistic sometimes. Not in the way that you hear/read/see about with serial killers. Not in an evil kind of way (although I do laugh a lot, which might make me seem a little bit more evil). I don’t like hurting people that don’t like being hurt.

When I play with my moose, I like to play rough. I get a little bit more sadistic. Why? Because she makes the most delicious noises when I run my knife across her smooth skin, when I smack my hand across her perfectly formed ass, when I rip the duct tape bonds from her…whenever I do something that I don’t think I’d much like on myself, she makes she squeaky, happy coo-ing noices. She laughs, she smiles, she makes me feel like I am fulfilling her.

When I am with Q, I am a different kind of a sadist. Q doesn’t like pain really, although she occasionally likes her nipples pulled. No, no, I’m much more of a situation sadist with her. Playing with her nipples is a) an instant way of making her horny, but b) is a great way of frustrating her…I like to play with them right before we leave the house, doing it sneakily while we’re out and about, play with her right before we fall asleep. Even though it’s not a pain situation, she makes these delicious moans and squeaks and tries to push me away and we tussle and I love trying to best her. She wins about half the time, I win the other half.

I never really thought of myself as a sadist. I mean, compare me to K, or someone who leaves someone bloody from time with a single tail. No, I’m not in that category.  But that doesn’t *not* make me a sadist per se. I can be sadistic (and very much ENJOY) being sadistic when in the right situation. When I’m teasing Q to the extreme and making her want me and know that she can’t have me at that point in time (because she knows that she can always have me in the end), I feel a rush. When I have my moose in front of me and I’m hitting her or biting her or tickling her, I feel a rush.

I’m not always ready for that side. It’s not always a part of me. It comes and it comes, and a lot of it is based on who I am playing with in that moment in time. Q and Evey (le moose) tend to bring it out in me more than anyone else ever has, and I’m slowly, but surely, learning to embrace this side of myself, this fun, amusing, laughing, fun loving, rush-filled sadistic at times side of me.

Why, my favorite moose of course! That’s right, my secondary play partner/primadary friend from Denver is coming to visit this weekend.

Did I ever tell you how I met? I was having dinner with two members of the kink community; one in Denver, one visiting, and I mentioned I liked fisting.  The gentleman I was with suggested one of his partners was kind of queer, and would probably like fisting.  I smiled and nodded, and kind of let it go.

Later that night, I went to a play party at the RACK Room, to play pinata with my visitor from Utah. We put candy all over her, and beat it off her.  Afterwards, I met Evey, my soon to be moose.  It was one of those “ohhhh, so you’re the girl your partner wants me to meet and possibly fist, right?” moments of complete awkwardness. Remember, I’m incredibly awkward. 

She let me do a spanking and paddling scene with her. It was fun and entertaining.

Since then, we’ve built our relationship in various directions. We’ve played together, I’ve played tic tac toe on her with a knife, we’ve had sex, I’ve tied her up, she’s cleaned my apartment, we’ve cuddled, hugged, chatted, cupped, fired, talked, and much much more. I love her to death, and view her as a partner, even though we’re no longer sexually active.

I can’t wait to see her, and spend the weekend with her. I have many a plan, and look forward to enacting them.

She writes her own blog; Voyeur on Display – you should check it out!

And with that, I’m off to go have fun with my moose! I have some surprises in store.

-Essin’ Em

PS.  Isn’t she adorable?

I’m not actually sad in this picture; I was just getting out of the shower, and all my eye make up had smeared down my face. It reminded  me just a bit of this really really really hot video that a certain Fierce Kitty made a couple of months ago.

I don’t think crying is sexy, although I’ve hear many a person tell me that they think it is so hot. When I was doing a lot more of submissive scenes, people always told me how hot it would be if I could cry, streaming make up down my face. It never worked; I was a very stoic submissive, or at the least, very snarky.

But I love the look. I lovethe smeared make up look. To me, it looks less like crying, and more like epic sex look. I had so much hot sex that my make up sweated down my face (this has happened before) and I just look a hot mess…key word hot.

This picture, right after I stepped out of the shower, accomplishes this look.  Q thought I looked awful, like I stepped out of a horror movie.  I guess everything is in the eye of the beholder.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

-Essin’ Em

I’ve been lucky enough to meet and hang out with Madison multiple times, and she is just as sexy in real life. Add that to her ridiculous sexy brain and cutting wit, and you’ve really got the full package. I’m in awe of her and her life in general, and this shoot just shows off how much she loves what she does, plus her incredible kinkability.

Click here to see the rest of the pictures and the video from this hot bondage shoot with Madison Young.

This blonde bombshell is beautiful incredibly delicious regardless of whether she’s being submissive or dominant, and I think the pictures from this men in pain scene are incredibly hot.

Click here to see the video and all the photos from this hot, queer, woman in charge scene where Lorlei totally dominants this muscular guy and shows him who is in control. Mmm.

I like pretty. You know this, I know this, the whole world knows this. I’m really into matching things; red, black, white and animal print. Now, granted, I have some toys that fall outside this color scheme. When people send me free stuff, all I ask is that’s not pink; if it’s free, I know I can’t really be choosy. So I have a turquoise Form 6, and a purple Fun Factory Curve, and an orange Ina.  In the case of the Ina, they only make it in bright colors! 

However, these cuffs? They’re perfect. They are beautiful wrist restraints made in black with red scalloped edges. Not only that, but they have matching ankle restraints (and collars!). How cool is that? I’m all about looking sexy through color/style coordination, and Stockroom (who makes these) really knows how to make a submissive/bottom look sleek, sexy and sassy.

Let’s talk about the cuffs themselves.  I have a lot of kink/fetish products, but these are some of my favorites. They are absolutely goregous, fit a variety of wrist sizes (yay for fat friendly items), and just look stunning on wrists; mine, Q’s, or anyone elses. Plus, they are lined with fleece, to keep from rubbing and add a little comfort during play, if that’s your thing.

Now, Q and I have another pair of fleece lined cuffs we’ve used before, but they leave black marks on her wrists post sex because she sweats (I’m doing a lot to her — you’d sweat a lot too!) and then the dye comes off. Not a problem with these cuffs. They’re obviously VERY good quality, so no dye issues. However, they’re also still pretty affordable (get both wrist and ankle restraints for under $100!), which I love. I hate the concept that you have to be super rich to get a ton of kink toys.

What can you do with them? Let’s see. I put them on her, then tied her wrists together all tight and such with bondage rope and teased her with a variety of sex toys. Later, I attached the cuffs with snap hooks to my lovely Under the Bed Restraint System, cause their “restraints” suck, but the concept is brilliant, so I just use nice cuffs with it, and it makes it a much better, super awesome and totally not as pervy as the rest of my house set up.

I liked them a lot, and am considering getting the ankle ones as well, for a complete and beautiful set. Q liked them because they were comfortable, looked good, and could be worn for a long period of time.  We were both very impressed, and I’d give these lovely and affordable cuffs 5 stars (out of 5)!

Click here to get pretty wrist restraints, and click here to get pretty ankle restraints!