Sexuality Happens

So I’ve been offered to do a weekly “internet radio show” (ie, a podcast) on sex, sexuality, gender, fucking, language, sex toy reviews, what ever the fuck I want to talk about. No censorship; I can say any words I want, and talk about whatever topics I want. I can have guest speakers, talk about my sex life, bring up touchy subjects, educate, etc.

If you’ve seen my video blogs from EdenFantasys’ blog (mostly posted on here too), you know how awesome and silly and totally out of control I can be. And since you read my blog here (I hope), you know how deep and intelligent I can be too.

I don’t have a ton of free time, so would hate to put a ton of time and energy into it if it turns out no one ever listens…but if I know I have at least a few people tuning in (for free of course), I’d give it my best.

So the question is; would you listen to a weekly podcast by YOURS TRULY about sexuality?

Just wondering…

-Essin’ Em

So I’ve been offered to do a weekly “internet radio show” (ie, a podcast) on sex, sexuality, gender, fucking, language, sex toy reviews, what ever the fuck I want to talk about. No censorship; I can say any words I want, and talk about whatever topics I want. I can have guest speakers, talk about my sex life, bring up touchy subjects, educate, etc.

If you’ve seen my video blogs from EdenFantasys’ blog (mostly posted on here too), you know how awesome and silly and totally out of control I can be. And since you read my blog here (I hope), you know how deep and intelligent I can be too.

I don’t have a ton of free time, so would hate to put a ton of time and energy into it if it turns out no one ever listens…but if I know I have at least a few people tuning in (for free of course), I’d give it my best.

So the question is; would you listen to a weekly podcast by YOURS TRULY about sexuality?

Just wondering…

-Essin’ Em

One friend of mine has a fantasy (nay, a goal), of finding someone who will let him break a finger (of theirs) in a negotiated scene. This kind of creeps me out, and I feel this tightening of my stomach, almost nauseous.

Another friend of mine has a fantasy (nay, a goal) of giving someone a blow job with fish eggs (like salmon roe) in her mouth. I feel the same creepiness, and the same nauseated feeling.

Friend one agrees with me, and thinks the fish egg thing is creepy and gross. However, of course he isn’t a little put off by the consensual finger breaking, because hell, it’s what HE wants to do.

Friend two agrees with me, and thinks that finger breaking might be taking it a little too far, even though she’s all about kink. However, she’s told me that my reaction to the fish eggs is just because I’m a vegetarian, and nothing else.

In the mean time, I hear “fish eggs/roe,” and visualize a bone snapping, or hear “fingerbreaking,” and have a picture of the little orange salmon eggs running before my eyes.

So, a quick and dirty poll:

A – Wanting to CONSENSUALLY break someone’s finger is creepy; fish egg blow job isn’t.

B – Eww, fish egg blow job is just gross, but nothing is weird about wanting to break someone’s finger!

C – They are both creepy, each in their own little way.

D – Neither is creepy, you radical Freudian you. Accept what they like, and leave it at that.

E – I have another answer, and will explain it.

Feel free to elaborate on any of your answers!

In side news, I’m on day 3 of a 4.5 day road trip with two cats and my sister to Colorado.

Best convo from Thursday:

Sister: What did you mean by vanilla, chocolate, or caramel?
Me: Packers.
Sister: huh?
Me: Packing dildos.
*pause*
Sister: Like packing peanuts???

There was also the most intense and amazing thunderstorm I’d ever seen. Ever. In Columbus on Wednesday night. Pouring rain (monsoon style), never a second without thunder or lightening, flashes lighting up the entire sky, the crashes of thunder sounding like bombs going off. There were even tornado warning sirens blaring for an hour or so, but could barely be heard over the heavy rain and thunder. Sigh. I love thunderstorms. Chalk that up to my “Sex I Want to Have” list (that’s sex DURING a thunderstorm, NOT *in* a thunderstorm).

And so we keep on keeping on. 2 more days. Kitties are doing well. Life isn’t to horrible….yet.

-Essin’ Em

A woman in my program (Yolanda Turner, MA, Ed.D ABD) is doing her dissertation on online relationships. More specifically, romantic relationships that are conducted online between people that have never met.

To participate, you must be 18 or older, and be involved in, or have been involved in a romantic relationship with someone you’ve never met in real life.

It’s completely anonymous.

Yeah, that’s about it. If you’re interested, Click Here to take the research survey.

Thanks!

-Essin’ Em

I was thinking the other day about all the different items I’ve taken that totally were NOT meant to be sexual (just ordinary, everyday items) that I have perverted some how over the years and turned into various sexual implements…

Examples of things I’ve used (and for what):

*Clothespins (nipple clamps)

*Spatula (spanking toy)

*Basting brush (sensation play)

*Electric toothbrush (vibrator)

*Massaging shower head (vibrator)

*Vibrating hair brush (vibrator)

*Markers (dildos)

*Hairbrush (dildo)

*Hairbrush (spanking)

*Fork (sensation play/scratching)

*Saran wrap (bondage, forced orgasms)

*Frozen glass bottles (sensation play)

*Hair ties (bondage)

*Over the bed dorm room storage unit (bondage)

*Spine straightening body pillow (wedge for better angles)

*Hair clips (nipple play)

*Bobby pins (nipple play)

*Fridge magnet clips (nipple play)

*Leopard print bag from Bath and Body Works (Safer Sex Bag for parties)

*Gift bag with Peter Rabbit (Bag o’ condoms, gloves and dams)

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head, but I’m sure there are more. Moreover, I’m sure y’all can come up with some great ones. So what “normal,” everyday items have YOU perverted, all in the name of healthy and fun sexuality?

SHARE!

-Essin’ Em

I taught my Ally Program in New York. It went well.

J has decided to end all contact with me, at least for a few months, because he doesn’t like seeing on Facebook/Myspace/etc that I’ve updated. I said fine. I was a little confused, because not two hours before, he had offered to let me crash at his place in DC when I visit there in June, but sometimes people say conflicting things. I’ve deleted him on my livejournal and social networking sites; whether he continues to read this blog is up to him.

I’m not going to lie; I was a little hurt, although I tried not to let it show. We haven’t talked in about a month, so it’s not like we’re significant parts of each others’ lives, making me feel a little odd about him STILL needed to unfriend me and all that jazz, but hey, it’s not my feelings, and I can’t tell him what to feel or change what he’s feeling. All I can do is acquiesce. So I did. It feels a little odd, as I left the bag with his shirt, a pair of shorts, his okra and mouthwash at home, so I either have to toss it or ship it. It also feels odd to just have someone vanish from my life completely…but again, it isn’t my decision to make.

Chapter of interactions with J (which would have been a year in May, when I first responded to his Craigslist ad) has now come to a close (to possibly be opened in a few months or few years when he’s had his space and decides to look me up again). Whew. That was a wild ride. I don’t regret any of it, but I think it might have (in hindsight) been better to cut ties back in November, rather than putting me (and possibly him as well – I don’t know how he felt throughout this) through a lot of a heartache and drama.

On a lighter note, below is a fun survey.

This is from none other than Curvaceous Dee.

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it, but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme.

1: You must include this link to Sex Talk – Sex Advice for Men.
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.
3. You must tag three people.

Here goes:

1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
Usually, at night. I am not so much of a morning person. Unless it is late morning, weekend sex. Like brunch sex. That then goes all day. In that case, I’ll take THAT kind of sex!

2. Better Sex Music – Sade or Marvin Gaye?
Neither. Ugh. I like something more me. Acapella is good. The Killers are good. Smashing Pumpkins are good. Classical is good.

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?
Pictures. You can then use them to fuel your imagination, naughty stories, etc. Videos are a bit too explicit for me, but that’s my personal view.

4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House?
I don’t know who Ross is, so I’ll go with House. But if we’re talking about TV characters, I’ll choose Abby from NCIS please.

5. Vibrator or Dildo?
I can haz bowth? I like both a lot, but if I had to have ONLY one, it would be the Hitachi Magic Wand…bet you didn’t see that one coming. Right?

6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?
I like some lights, but only full on bright light occasionally, like during elevator sex, or some topping scenes. Occasional dark sex is fun too, and feels naughty, but I definitely like to be able to see my parters face when I do things to them :)

7. Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt?
Cunt. Hands down. Pussy is growing on my, but still creeps me out a bit (and reminds me of my cats, so seriously, wtf?). I mean, I reclaimed the word before I had heard it negatively, and I think it holds way more power and awesomeness than pussy. Plus, it’s less gendered.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?
Um, can I reverse that? I ONLY like to be spanked in a spanking specific situation (over the knee, bent over the bed, etc). I think being spanked in the middle of sex would be odd and distracting. However, being spanked really turns me on, so I really kind of need to come after; hands, lips, mouth, vibe, you name it, but I need to get off somehow.

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane?
I’ve done some in an elevator, and that was fun. I will not EVER have sex in an airplane bathroom; EWWWWWWW. I prefer balcony sex. Or restaurant sex.

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?
Guy: Jack Lawrence. Gal: Nina Hartley. Transguy: Dex Hardlove.

11. Word Preference? Cock or dick?
Cock. Dick makes me think of my college president. Plus, cock makes more sense in my sitch.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?
Nina Hartley. Duh.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape
Hmmm…I’ve never gotten to use rope (but want to…just saying’). So tape?

14. Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?
Neither. I’m not so much into getting anal anything, and I think giving, I’d prefer to finger or fuck.

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?
Stripping in a not-skanky bar, or as a call girl for normal people.

16. Which Threesome – Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?
Why not F/F/F, or all female bodied???? This WILL happen to me. One day. I am determined.

17. Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil?
Oil? Um…can we just go with flavored lube?

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?
Neither? That’s the great thing about fucking female-bodied people.
However, if we’re talking vaginal lubrication and female ejaculatory fluid, either is fine. I don’t mind the taste, and don’t mind getting it all over me. It’s sex; it’s gonna be messy.

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex With a Stranger?
The former. I don’t think I’d have STI tests or trust with a stranger.

20. Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew’s Cross?
I’ve never been tied to a St. Andrew’s cross…but that could be fun. However, I really like being tied to the bed. A hell of a lot, so we’ll just go with that.

Tagged: Miss Avarice, Lady Brett Ashley and Sinclair. So there. Anyone else can do it if they want.

As many a blogger as pointed out, it is Question/Answer month.

This means that you can email me any questions you may have about anything, and I will answer them.

This is for all requests, other than requests for personal/identifying information, or things like “will you fuck me” and “why are you a fattie”…the answers to those are “No, not if you approach it like that” and “because I’m Eastern-European, I like food, I’ve had three knee surgeries, and because I don’t listen to society telling me to try and ruin my life by thinking about being thin all the time.

So send your questions to me at essinem at gmail dot com (link to the right), and I’ll start answering! I suppose you could also just comment here. And I’ll answer them publicly, in blog posts :)

Essin’ Em

After talking last night to Miss Avarice about the Vagina Monologues (which I have been in three times, for those that care), I’ve decided my monologue this year shall be a group monologue, similar to Wear/Smell/Say.

I ask of you, my readers, if your vagina was celebrity (famous author, movie star, musician, scientist, etc), who would it be?

Answers I have thought of:

*Audrey Hepburn
*NOT Britney Spears!
*Agatha Christie
*Nina Hartley
*Amelia Erhart
*???

Your turn!

Hey everyone. One of my classmates is working on her dissertation, and is doing it on females who decided to abstain from PIV sex (penis in vagina) until marriage. She’s having a lot of trouble finding people to interview, so I told her I’d help her out. She’s super nice, and I think will do an excellent job with this. Below is all the info on her study.

Please contact her using the info below; I have no further info myself. Feel free to repost :)

Essin’ Em

Hi,
I’m asking for some help with my dissertation. I am looking to interview women
who abstained from intercourse until they were married.

I’m a graduate student working on a doctorate in clinical psychology and a
master’s in human sexuality at Widener University, which is outside of
Philadelphia. I spent a year doing sex and relationship therapy at the
Institute for Sex Therapy (part of Council for Relationships) here in
Philadelphia. Since college I’ve been interested in female sexuality and it’s
been the focus of almost all my research as a student. So that’s where this
dissertation comes in– women who abstain from intercourse until marriage are
in a minority (albeit a significant one!) of women who chose to abstain until
marriage. There is NO research on women like you! So I want to fill that
hole. I want to know how you think about sexuality, what it was like for you
to choose to abstain and follow through on that decision, what it was like to
get married and start being sexual with your husband. I will be doing
interviews, either in person or on the phone. If you are interested in seeing
my approved application for research, I would be happy to send it. Before I
do any interviews, I need informed consent anyway. Everything will be done
anonymously and confidentially; your name and identity will not be linked with
your responses in any way.

To get in touch and participate, please email me at rebecca.whitten@gmail.com
Thanks!
Rebecca

I checked with the person running this study, and interviews can be done via phone, so they are recruiting from all over the US (maybe further?). Please repost.

NOTE: I am reposting this from elsewhere, so please do not contact me with questions; please email the address listed below.

-Essin’ Em

PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY
Call for volunteers:
Looking for trans-identified and other individuals on the female-to-male spectrum to share stories and experiences for a research paper about language use. Particularly looking for gay-identified female-to-male individuals, however all help will be appreciated. No compensation for time spent (about one hour), however participation will provide incredible help to a developing body of research. If interested please e-mail me at inselman@colorado.edu.