Sexuality Happens

A few weeks ago, a new company called Virtually Adult contacted me about reviewing their new product; the Crystal Delights Butt Plugs. 

Now, as many of you know, I’m not the biggest lover of butt play.  Will I try it more in the future? Perhaps.  But is it something that really gets my engine revving? No.

However, these toys are just absolutely beautiful; 100% pure glass plugs with little jewels (available in NINE different colors) on the end. Talk about bling for your butt. How could I say no to this? Plus, so many of my readers ask me about reviewing more anal pleasure toys, because they like a little backdoor action, and would like to see reviews of toys that can help.

So I got smart. Like so many Americans, I outsourced. But instead of going out of the country, I recruited my friends to help me (there will be a silicone butt plug review coming up in the near future too!) review good quality anal products so that I can provide a greater diversity of product reviews on my site AND help out smaller, newer companies like Virtually Adult. 

Glass is a great material that can be washed or sterilized (10% bleach solution on this; I wouldn’t boil it or dishwash it because of the jewel), and can be used with either silicone or water based lube.

Therefore, without any further ado, I give you a review of the Crystal Delights Glass Butt Plug in Fuschia by M and her partner T. Thank for the help you two, and I hope y’all appreciate my new butt play reviews.

-Essin’ Em

My partner and I were both really excited to review the Crystal Delight Anal Plug by Virtually Adult thanks to Essin’ Em. The toy came in a plain black pouch, but was much prettier than the protective packaging that holds it with its jeweled, flared base, and clear glass. It looks fairly simple, yet eye catching none the less.

Last month, I presented a workshop at one of the Fascinations stores in Phoenix entitled “What’s In Your Toybox?” It was recorded, and now is online for everyone to see, in case you missed it, don’t live in Phoenix, etc. Enjoy!

-Essin’ Em

(Special thanks to Matt at Fascinations for rocking out with the video stuff!)

The name of this product alone makes me want to get all sassy and say “you go girl…”

What is it?

It’s the Go Girl, provided to me for inspection and review by Babeland.

It comes in Camo (above, which we got) or pink.  Not so much my thing. What is it? It’s a STP (stand to pee) device, useable for all sorts of things from gender varient people wanting to use urinals to going camping or even rocking out at musical or Pride festivals. It’s an easier way to pee standing up.

Now, I’ve tried something similar before, also from Babeland last fall; the P style (read my review). I was excited to see what made this one different, and hopefully better, and even chatted it up on twitter with the lovely Nina Hartley.

This review may turn into a comparison of the two. Sorry, but I think that is more helpful.

The Go Girl wins for transit, that’s for sure. It’s flexible, so you can roll it up, put it in this cute little tube it came in, put said tube (and TP if you want) in the little Go Girl plastic bag it came with and done. It’s tiny – you can put it in your purse, pocket, back pack, even sock.  Contrast this to the long and fairly rigid P-Style, and Go Girl wins out on transportable-ness.

How about usability? P-Style wins. Hands down. Both Q and I tried the Go Girl….it aims well, yes, and fits fairly well in the crotch-al region. However, we both had our own issue; when she was using it, she over flowed the cup part, and had to work on slowing down/stopping her urination stream, which is not easy to do.  Mine seemed to be ok as far a speed/quanity was concerned, but I somehow wound up dripping it down my leg (perhaps it was trying to use it while wearing a skirt?). Contrast this with the P-style, which was easy to use, didn’t overflow, and was no drip. Plus, with the P-style, the harder surface can be used to wipe excess pee off in a forward motion much more easily. P-style wins on action.

Both are fairly easy to clean, both can be wiped down easily, both have color options.  All in all, I’d say take the P-style if you have room (they make cute little baggies for it), but the Go-Girl if you have a space/packing issue. One last thought; I think Go Girl is a really stupid name to market something that will be very useful to gender variant folks.  Q certainly doesn’t identify as a girl (nor do I for that matter), and I can’t see a lot of trans men and genderqueer people being like “let me just grab my go girl” with it’s pink packaging.  Marketing could certainly have done better on this part.

5 stars for the concept for Go Girl, but only 3 for actual function.

I wonder what Nina thought of it…

Click here to get a Go Girl of your own, or click here if you’re more in the mood for the P Style.

-Essin’ Em

Here is my first fabulous video review (toy and video awesomeness courtesy of Fascinations!). It’s of the really cool aluminum dildo by Tantus, the Alumina Revolve. I liked it a lot, as you can see, and my vulva puppet Viviane makes a cameo as well!

In case you forgot about it, last week was the end of my glass butt plug contest. I had tons and tons of entries, both at the original post (in comments) and of course, on twitter. Thanks to everyone for entering this one!

The winner of the contest is Aida, who blogs over at Rainbows and Riding Crops and tweets as the Pledgemistress (currently locked, so I’m not linking).

If you didn’t win, SexToy.com has a ton of other awesome glass butt plugs and other rocking sex toys. Make sure you check them out to thank them.

Also, I’ll have another awesome contest in March.  I can’t give it all away yet, but it looks like it’ll involves some awesome porn. And I mean, really, who doesn’t love good porn?

Thanks for entering, and hope to see you back!

-Essin’ Em

I was really excited about this book, and not just because I have a bit of a fetish for collecting every sexuality based book IN THE WORLD (ok, not really, but close). Moregasm is Babeland’s new Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, written by the owners/founders of the lovely Babeland (who sent me this book to review. Take that FTC).

Why was I so excited? Because I was really for an all-encompassing, queer and straight friendly, monogamous and non-monogamous, rocking sex ed book, ready to take the world by storm. As a whole, Babeland is a great company, providing accessible and inclusive sex education to people of various genders, identities, backgrounds and more.

Maybe I hyped it up too much in my own mind, but I do have to say that I wound up being disappointed.

Some parts were great. I loved that they showed different XX bodies; women, genderqueer, gender fuckers, different races, different sizes, etc. Awesome.  They also showed lots of different vulvas, showing that everyone is unique. Again, awesome. They did a great job with talking about cuntacular/vulvar plumbing.

But then the poor pensises didn’t get that kind of love. There weren’t pictures of lots of different XY bodies.  Nor were there pictures of different types of pensises, to help normalize different sizes/shapes/circumcized/uncut.  I remember the first time I saw an uncut penis in a text book in college, and it was a whole different world to me.  Lots of people have never seen one, or are concerned about their size, whether they are curved or not, etc.  I thought it was kind of sad that they chose not to show the awesome variety of men out there.

So I started thinking that maybe this should be called the Queer Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, which, in my mind is a needed book, and that would be awesome.  Yes, Babeland is women focused, but the poor cis guys were getting the short end of the stick here.

Never fear; the chapters on blow jobs and intercourse completely reinforced hetero-normitivity.  All the illustrations showed a traditional looking woman (pretty hair and all) with a traditonal looking man (biceps and all).  Cause you know queer people don’t give blow jobs or have sex.  The strap on section was ridiculous short, and not as inclusive as I had hope.

What did they do well? I thought they showed off a great variety of sex positive toys in all of the chapters. The one exception to this was the lube chapter, where they ONLY showed Babeland lube. Now, Babeland carries other awesome lubes, like Maximus, so it wouldn’t be promoting something they don’t carry, and I know I personally get yeast infections from their Organic Babeland Lube. Ergo, I don’t know why they didn’t expand that chapter.

The book itself is beautiful; I love the color, the pictures inside, the quality. I love the list of resources in the back. I love the relaxed tone they use to talk about sex (although I’d say that lots of women/gender queer people with cunts, myself included, don’t like being refered to as “babe” but I totally get that it IS “Babe”-land).

I think this book would be good for an open minded straight couple, or maybe a therapist working with lots of hetero couples. I’d give it 2 or 3 stars (out of 5), because it is well written, but I was just really sad not to have an inclusive book coming from such a great company.

Click here to be the owner of your own copy of Moregasm.

-Essin’ Em

As many of you know, I’ve been working for Fascinations as their online media specialist and resident sex educator.

This Thursday, Feb 18th (aka, tomorrow!), I’ll be putting on a free workshop at one of our Scottsdale, AZ stores called “What’s In Your Toy Box.” It’ll be a great sex toy 101 on what toys are designed for, how they can be used, the care, storage and cleaning of sex toys, other ways you can use them, etc.  Should be lots of fun.

For more information, click here for our blog post on the subject. Would love to see you there!

One of my favorite sex educators, the lovely Tristan Taormino, has just published another fabulous book.  Now, I hold her book Opening Up on various types of relationships (both non-monogamous and monogamous) to be the best in the field, and her book Down and Dirty Sex secrets is one of my favs.  I’m happy to say that her newest book, the Big Book of Sex Toys, does NOT disappoint, and I think is absolutely stunning.

In the past, there have been one or two other books on sex toys. However, the sex toy field has definitely evolved and changed drastically in the last decade, and we needed new material.  Moreover, we needed from someone who knows toys, loves toys, works with and is around toys on a regular basis. Thanks Tristan for stepping up to the plate.

This book talks about toys as a whole, breaking down categories, talking about materials, going from the broad to the specific, covering everything. I didn’t see as much as I would have liked on either kegels/sex toys for kegels, or on sex toys that are great for disabilities, but other than that, I was incredibly impressed by the amount of both breadth and depth of this book.  Tristan really knows her stuff (and knows how to research) and it shows.

My one issue with the book is that while there are absoultely stunning color pictures throughout, with close ups of the toys (although some pictures are used multiple times), and while these pictures contain some racial diveristy, there is certainly no gender or orientation diversity, none the less size and ability diversity.  However, I don’t fault Tristan for this; I know that certain publishers like certain looks for their books, and sometimes go over the author’s head regarding the photography.  Sad, yes, but it happens.

That said, this is an amazing reference book, and while I think anyone would do well to have it, I would specifically and emphatically recommend it to  sex bloggers/sex toy reviews, sex therapist/counselors, sex educators, and anyone who works with people in the field of sexuality. It’s important to know about toys, about materials, and the back of the book has an excellent reference guide pointing out great sex toy stores, sex toy companies, and much.

I give this book 4.5 stars (out of 5). It loses half a star for a combo of the lack of diversity/little bits of missing info I’d like, but I HIGHLY recommend this book, and will definitely be giving it as a present to many of my friends in the future.  Hats of to Tristan for yet another great book!

Click here to get your own copy of the Big Book of Sex Toys!

-Essin’ Em

Thanks to the oh so lovely site VibeReview, I’ve gotten a set of Fun Factory Bendy Beads to review.

Now, if you know me, or have read me for any time, you know I’m not a huge fan of the butt sex. I’m certainly no Tristan Taormino.

I’ve tried. I have. J and I gave it a go (both directions), as did F and I.  With J, it involved some epic emotional release on both our parts, and while that was much needed, we just didn’t go there again.  F and I were interested in trying to explore more, but then with all the trust issues and breaking up, that obviously didn’t happen.

However, while chatting with Jiz Lee last January in San Francisco, I got convinced that I wanted to try some actual anal, at some point.  Not because I think it’s hot or awesome or the end all be all of sex, but because it seems like some people have a ton of fun with it. And because I’m adventureous and like doing new things.

So I asked for some anal beads. I figured they’d be a good start.  And they were. However, a large line of black bendy beads was a little intimidating to me and my little butt home.

They’re made of 100% medical grade silicone (so it means to clean, you wash them in soap and water. To sterilize, boil them 3-5 minutes, wipe them down with 10% bleach solution, or dishwash them on the top shelf with no soap).  However, as a reminder, make sure you use water-based lube with them, as silicone-based can reacted badly with the other silicone.

I’m still working on these. Apparently, I have a shy butt. Add to that a new job, not a ton of alone time, and stress, and getting things in my ass has become a little difficult.  I’ve been able to get the first two in. And you know what, for me, that’s a success.  This is definitely going to be a process.  However, that’s ok.  If anything, it’s good for people do know that not everyone goes from butt virgin to anal queen over night.

This is a good product. It’s actually probably a great product.  I’ll let you know as I get to test it out more.  I might also invest in a Flexi Felix, as I think he’s a little bit smaller and less intimidating.

And that, my dead readers, is the first step of what may become an epic anal adventure.

Click here to get your own set of Bendy Beads.

Hey all!

It’s been a while since I’ve had a contest on here – my apologies! Luckily for you, SexToy.com has provided a rocking blue glass butt plug for a giveaway.  Now, as we know, I’m not the biggest butt person, but a lot of you have been asking for more anal giveaway prizes, so here you go.  Tristan, this one is in honor of you, oh anal loving goddess!

What is it? If you win, you get this lovely blue glass plug (if you’re out of the states, you must pay shipping):

How can YOU win this very awesome plug (which, by the way, I think looks bigger in person than the picture does)?

Three ways! And yes, that means you can enter THRICE!

1) Tweet this phrase on twitter: “Holy moly! @EssinEm is giving away some butt love. http://essin-em.com/2010/01/glass-plug-contest. RT to enter and win!”

2) Become a fan of me on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/EssinEm, and then invite your friends by posting about the contest on your page, linking to my fan page (hint: you can use the @ trick, or put my fan page URL in it).

3) Leave a comment here about why you want to win a buttastic prize.

And I love you so much, I’ll even through some lube in there as well, so you get going as soon as you get it.

Deadline: Feb 14th, 11:59pm MST.

Three ways to enter, all super easy. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your lovers.

New to anal? Check out my anal basics post here.

-Essin’ Em