Sexuality Happens

The middle of this month celebrates my FOURTH year of blogging about sex, sexuality, erotica, gender, identity, nudity, rights, politics, sex toys, silly things, my relationships, sex tips, others’ relationships, and more. Yes, the Sex Blogger Calendar says three- that’s a mistake. It’s been four full years folks.

And what better way to celebrate than with some EPIC giveaways…and I’m talking EPIC. I’ve gotten almost a twenty companies that I’ve worked with over the past four years (or am working with now/in the near future) to donate items for this contest, and from porn to sex toys to accessories, I promise that these prizes are AWESOME!

What can you win?

We start with a gift from HotMoviesForHer.com, a female-run porn site that was the start of my career in the more “adult” industry. What are they offering? TWO 100 minutes packages of porn. That’s a LOT of minutes of porn!

Fascinations, who employes me as their residential sex educator, has been kind enough to offer up a $100 gift card, which is enough to get either a Pure Wand…or a Lelo Siri…or a whole bunch of other awesome sex toys!

Pink and White, whom I love dearly, is offering a Two Month, Level Two memberships to CrashPadSeries.com (I’m on it!) and a Two Months, Level One membership to their new gay boy site, HeavenlySpire.com.

NoFauxxx, the awesome queer porn company run by Courtney Trouble, is putting up a FULL YEAR’s membership to NoFauxxx.com. I’m also on here!

Babeland, one of the first sex positive toys stores and educational places is offering a Mini Morgasm kit — complete with their new book Moregasm, as well as a Fukoku vibrator, a massage candle, Babelicious lube and a Sonic cock ring!

Crystal Delights, creators of those beautiful new crystal plugs (and so to be released wands) is giving me a beautiful Champange crystal butt plug for this!

Good Vibrations, a feminist and sex positive store with shops in CA and MA, and a sex toy website, is donating not one, not two, but THREE rabbit pearl vibrators (made of vinyl)!

NippleCharms.com is offering ONE set off non-piercing needed Nipple Rings, as well as TWO stick on Bindi Charms.

Trannywood Pictures, hot guy on guy porn (with both cis and trans men) is giving away a copy of their BRAND NEW film, Trannywood Gone Wild!

MyPleasure.com is offering up a beautiful vibrator from the Vida line; the Lussuria. It’s supposed to be pretty awesome!

SexToy.com and the lovely Domina Doll are putting together a special giveaway pack for this contest. I have no idea what is inside, but I know it’ll be awesome!

Liberator, the make of amazing sex furniture is thowing a Jaz into the ring. Heck, *I* don’t even have one of these!

More porn from Early to Bed – a rocking feminist sex toy store in Chicago! They’re giving away Special Delivery, a locally made dyke porno…I want to see it!

Also donating a set of rocking Nipple Clamps is the fabulous feminist store Our Enigma in Salem, Oregon!

We’ve got a lovely donation from the Kama Sutra Closet, who is kind enough to provide a Shiri Zinn RED Ceramic dildo to give away! 

Can’t leave out one of my favorite toy makers, the wonderful Vixen Creations. They’ve offered up TWO TOYS! One Caramel Tex and one Purple Johnny. Hurray!

Aloha from Maui Kink, who as graciously given me 3 Toy Bag Guides (Playing with Taboo by Mollena Williams, Clips and Clamps by Jack Rinella and Canes and Caning by Janet Hardy) AND 2 x 15ft lengths of Natural Hemp Rope with Shears

This just in: Lelo is putting in a pair of their silky and smooth Etherea Cuffs, from their brand new accessories line!

Another last minute addition! Stockroom, that fabulous kink site, has thrown a pair of cuffs, and a beautiful flogger into the ring!

Another set of awesome items is dontated from Je Joue — a Sasi and a G-Ki! Each of these vibrators is amazing!

Instead of choosing just one winner for all of this, or trying to make packages, etc, I’m going to just use the random number generator to choose a winner for each item. If someone enters a lot in various ways, they may win multiple items. This way, I can pass on the sex-tastic love to as many people as possible! So there could be 20 winners, or even more!

How do you enter? The contest goes through October 31st (11:59pm PDT). There are lots and lots of ways to enter! For each entry, please post a comment below with a link to it (or your twitter name, FB name, FetLife name, etc), as I’ll be using a random generator to choose the winners. If you already follow/friend/fan me, just post below a comment with the name you use. Free shipping is included for  US winners only (obviously a moot point for the porn memberships/minutes) — international shipping must be paid by the winner.

1. MANDATORY: Please comment here with the top three items above that you’d like to win most! (1 Entry)

2. Become an Essin’ Em fan on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/EssinEm. (1 Entry)

3. Comment on my Essin’ Em fan page. (1 entry per day)

4. Follow me on Twitter. (1 entry)

5. Tweet about this contest on twitter — must include my @ name and a link here. (1 entry per day)

6. Friend me on FetLife. (1 entry)

7. Update your status on FetLife with a link to this page. (1 entry per day)

8. Write a blog post about this contest (5 entries, only one per person).

9. Visit the above sponsors’ sites and tell me what your favorite thing that they sell (besides what they’re giving away) is. (1 entry per sponsor, total).

10. Donate to my paypal, buy me something off my amazon wishlist, send me a present, etc (15 entries, and my eternal gratitude).

Contest begins now, so get started, and don’t forget, there are so many ways to enter, so get going!

-Essin’ Em

While spring certainly isn’t sprungy, and fall isn’t quite making its way into the hot and deserty state of Arizona, flowers are always welcome in my life…and that includes orchids! More importantly, that includes the Orchid G vibrator, which is a slim line vibe with an awesome bulb at the end for fantastic G-spot stimulation. And thanks to Babeland, I’m giving one away! Thanks y’all.

How do you enter to win an Orchid G vibe? I need you to help my blog bloom with flowers, because I love them so much.

1st. Be 18+ (which you should be if you’re reading this).

2nd. Know that shipping is free only in the US – other wise, winner must pay.

3rd. Comment below with your favorite flower or flower combo (1 entry)

4th. RT this on twitter and then post here to show you’ve done so(1 entry per day). Example:

@EssinEm’s blog is blooming with her Orchid G giveaway (from @babeland_toys): http://essin-em.com/2010/09/giveaway-an-orchid-g-vibrator/

5th. Post link to here on FB. Comment here that you’ve done so (1 entry per day)

6th. Post link to here on FetLife. Let me know here you’ve done so (1 entry per day).

Deadline: September 21st, 2010, 11:59pm PDT.

And it’s time to bloom!

-Essin’ Em

This week’s review is of something I never thought I’d try, none the less like. It’s from Babeland (thanks for the free product yo!) and it’s a stimulation gel. You know, the stuff you put on your bits (usually your clip/labia, although it can be used externally as well) to give them a bit more of that tingling senstation.

What is it? It is Sliquid Organics Stimulation O Gel. That’s a mouthful, I know!

To be honest, I never thought I would ask for something like this.  Once, Arkadia send me some of their “arousal gels” and I tried it out. It didn’t work as planned, and I actually wrote a post about using it all kinky like, in D/s play. However, definitely not its intended use, and clearly, it wasn’t something I needed. Until the beginning of this year, I never had an issue being horny, sexual, aroused, you name it. Think teenage boy hiting hormones, and multiply it.

However, starting about January, my sex drive started to zero out. I was depressed, broke, and then I had a cervical cancer scare. I did not feel sex or sexual, and I didn’t let myself or Q touch me (although I did try to make sure I was still fucking Q fairly regularly) for at least a month, and then maybe once a month since then. It’s been frustrating me to no end; porn doesn’t turn me on as much as it used to, and my poor Hitachi was being under used, and looked all lonely.

So when this came up as a review option, I figured why not. I was desperate. It’s 100% vegan, it’s natural (although not condom compatible — it contains at least two types of oils), and I like a lot of the Sliquid products.

This gel has changed my sex life. Period.  When I use it, I actually stop whatever else is going on in my brain, and concentrate on the fabulous feelings on and around my clit. In the past week, I’ve used it 3 times, and have had sex (if you count masturbating, which I do, especially since I haven’t done it much at all lately) 3 times. Pretty good odds.

Now, I don’t think it’ll work for everyone. A year ago, I probably would have turned up my nose at this. However, if you are looking for a little extra boost, a little tingle, an extra dimension to your sex life, or something to get you out of your sexual funk, I’d suggest this. I almost didn’t try it, and am so glad (and am sure Q feels the same way) that I did.

I love this stuff — to get your own bottle, just click here!

-Essin’ Em

Ok…so this contest is mostly for the boyz. When I say boy/boi, I mean someone who has a body part that they’d like to use the freaking awesome Tenga Egg on (or a partner for such). On the other hand, it’s been pointed out to me on the Tenga Egg page at Babeland.com (contest sponsor!) that you can even turn the egg inside out and use it on a Hitachi as a fun bumpy cover, so really, it is for anyone and every one.

It’s simple to enter. Just comment and tell me your favorite food/story/word that involves eggs. Think humpy dumpty, eggs benedict, who knows!

Deadline: Friday, August 27th at 11:59PM PDT.

Shipping included for US residents. Must be 18 or over to win. That’s about it for the small print.

Here is a picture of the different individual insides of the Tenga Eggs, whether you use them as male masturbators or Hitachi Magic Wand covers.

And that’s all for now folks. It’s a pretty EGG-citing contest, so comment away!

-Essin’ Em

I love love love massages. Not just for the relaxation, but massage is one of the few things I’ve found (aside from my epic amounts of seizure medication) that can significantly impact my migraines. I try to get one a month. Expensive? Yes, but it really helps cut down my migraines from 2-3 a week to 4-5 a month, which really really helps. I wish I could get them more, but they are too pricey.

Sometimes, Q will rub my shoulders and neck. She has strong hands, but I really need deep tissue massage to make a difference, and that takes a lot of oomph that is hard to get after a full day at work.

The Jimmy Jane massage stone has revolutionized my health. Really.

Why? It’s very easy to use/hold (it’s actually super disability friendly, as you don’t need to grab onto it tightly — you can just rest your hands on it and push it around…great for days I’m having nerve pain in my hands), so you don’t need to grip tightly, or even really exert that much energy to use it. It feels ok on just the plain skin, but add a little lotions (or oil from a massage candle), and suddenly, it’s almost like a professional level massage in bed, or on the couch, or wheverever you’re doing it.

I didn’t expect to love it, really. I thought it would be like the multitude of massagers I’ve tried that didn’t do diddly squat, and ended up in the graveyard of unwanted toys. I mean, it doesn’t even vibrate, so why would it do anything for me?

I don’t know, but it is AWESOME. Really. Q loves it too, both using it and having me use it on her back.  The coolness of it is super refreshing here in Arizona, but I also really likes how it warms up to the body.

I wish I had cons. You all know I always try to put cons in a review.  But I mean, the packaging was nice (and reusable to store it), the massager did the job it was supposed to, and did it far better than I could have imagined, it’s easy to clean (soap and warm water, or you can boil it/dishwash it as well). I just can’t find anything less than stellar to say about this piece of ceramic.

Oh! Maybe if it came in black, you know, to match everything else. There you go.

Five glowing stars for this toy/massager/thing of awesome. The end. Thanks Babeland!

Click here to choose one ofthe Jimmy Jane massage stones in various shapes!

-Essin’ Em

There have been a fuck ton of posts this week about what’s currently going on, and has been going on for years at Eden Fantasys. They are written by bloggers, reviewers, educators and former employees. More keep popping up. Who’s writing these?

AAG

Ask Garnet

That Toy Chick

Sarah Sloane

Sarah Bear

Epiphora

Brit Is Shameless

And others. I, of course, wrote one solitary post on them back in 2008, and then was accused of libel and slander, despite what I feel was a fairly upbeat ending. When that happened, AAG and That Toy Chick and I seemed to be alone in our plight, supported by a few others (including those associated with the sex blogger calendar, and whose info was leaked), and I was ridiculed via email for caring that a company that wanted to re-sell generic Chinese sex toys as brand name, who was angry at me for having a blog outside of work (which I had before I started), for taking a friend/victim of domestic violence to the ER, you name it. I was told I was being silly.

And now, it has all surfaced again.  EF has banned, with seemingly little reason, one of their top reviewers/forum participants from everything.

I’ll put out this: I do not know Epiphora. I respect her as a reviewer, and a blogger.  However, we haven’t ever chatted much, I don’t always read her site, and while I know of her and about her, I wouldn’t consider her a friend. This post is not written in anger of her banning (although I strongly feel she deserves to know exactly why, and aruge for reinstatement if she’d like, and at least her affiliate money), but more so, this post is  just reminding people of this history behind this company of silencing and screwing over members of OUR sex-positive and OUR blogging community.

A list?

Let’s see. AAG had to take them to court to try and get the remainder of her pay which they denied her, and then they screwed her over by sending an expensive lawyer to the midwest to try and prove that she had to sue the company rather than the owner, and do it in NJ. I promise that cost them a lot more than the $1200 they owed her, but they did it. AAG STILL hasn’t gotten her last 2 weeks of pay.

They tried to get out of paying me hundreds in affiliate money, claiming they had shut my account months earlier. When I sent them screen shots taken that day of my open account with money in it, they had their current affiliate manager sending me a strongly worded hurtful letter, accusing me of slander and libel.  Everything I said could be backed up by other employees, and I told them this. I got paid.

The Cock Wrangler, who was my replacement, was screwed over by them.  He’ll be putting up a post on AAG’s blog shortly.

That Toy Chick had to get multiple people involved to get her back pay. A woman from the government helping out TTC recused herself from TTC’s case because the owner (Fred Petrenko) was so vile and misogynistic to her.

Sarah Sloane left her full time position. I don’t know why, but I know Sarah and I know she is very dedicated to any job she does, so I’m going to assume (not say, but assume) that she fell victim to Fred’s common “I say one thing, in writing, and you do it, and I change my mind, and get angry at you” ploy, or to the “I’m not going to pay you what you’ve earned” schtick, or something else equally frustrating that many (not all, but many) EF employees have to put up with at some point..

Matthew, so I hear, needed to take emergency time for family. I’m not sure of the details, nor will I share them if I hear them. It doesn’t matter – family emergencies fall in the same category as domestic violence emergencies in my mind.  He was fired, just as I was yelled at for taking my friend to the ER and to file a police report (having told the boss I was doing so).

Delilah Douglas was there before I was — she hired me to help her out. She was “let go” randomly one day, about 4 months after I started. Why? Because he thought I was doing a better job and she was being “lazy” by fact checking and editing reviews, articles, etc.

That’s a lot of people who actually worked for them, aside from reviewers, members, etc.

I worked there for 1.5 years. I took my work home with me, and put in multiple extra hours on the weekends, I promoted it everywhere, I used my blog status to get other bloggers involved. I gave my heart to EF. I was instrumental in creating the profiles online, the online forums, the ability to be ranked, the have vrooms and bees, to learn about materials.  I wanted EF to be the best.

And it is the best site out there as far as functionality. I would never argue that point. Their custom made platform (made by web designers back in Moldova, at least while I was there) is rivaled by none. Fred’s son used to take the pictures, do the video, etc. I don’t know if he still does. Fred’s partner/girlfriend at the time used to be the head buyer, as well as run much of customer service, etc.  I don’t know if she still does. Keeping it in the family, and using cheaper out of county labor makes it much easier and cheaper to create an amazing site.  Giving people raises, and then taking it away a month or two later due to the “economy” (which happened to me and TTC, way before the recession), makes it cheaper. Adding things to job descriptions does the same. I was hired on as a review editor, and left as the PR Liason/Review Program Manager/Affiliate Manager/Community Outreach Educator…with no change in pay.

So no. There are no other sites that rival EF’s forums and searchability and materials listings.  Many don’t offer as high payouts on affiliate programs (although Fascinations just launched their affiliate program last week with 30% payout at GoFunLove.com and GoodVibes offers 25% for brand ambassadors with exclusivity). But other programs treat their staff well.

Babeland is known for doing so. Good Vibes is known for doing so. Smitten Kitten is known for doing so. Early to Bed, Tool Shed, Oh My, Enigma, Sugar, etc — they all have positive employee history. Heck, most of my Fascinations co-workers have been working for the company for between 4 years and 15 years.  At EF, very few non “in the family” people were there more than 9 months or a year.  What does that say?

There has been comment drama on other sites about phthalates. Lots of sites sell jelly toys. That is no what this is about.  This is about a company that treats their employees well, that treats the community well.

Not only did he blatantly outright lie in 2008 about never having had google docs (which I know multiple former employees will attest to), but then he said this, in the forums:

“I can tell you that there are far more efficient ways to spend an advertising budget than via community support. You might be surprised by how insignificant the business generated by affiliate deals with sex blogs actually is.”

He doesn’t care about the sex blog community.  I was used to bring in bloggers on board because I could and because it helped get him traffic. AAG was the same way. Then they realized they could bring in big name bloggers by wooing them (see AAG’s post above) and get them to bring in other community members for free, without having to actually pay someone. How many people promote EF/Eden Cafe/Sexis on their blogs, on twitter, on facebook, as they are writing for them, or trying to win a toy, etc? Tons. For free.

Now all sites have similar review programs, contests, etc. It’s the age of social media. But how many sites also say publicly that they don’t care about the community, don’t need the community, lie about members of the community, block reviewers/forum posters without any information, etc.

Just take a second, and think about how many complaints you’ve heard about Babeland and their treatment of the community. How many have times have you heard something negative about Good Vibes and their community relationships? Have you ever heard of these places blantantly fucking over members of the community? I haven’t.

Yet there are countless people who have been mistreated by EdenFantasys, and those are only the vocal ones. The ones with blogs, the ones willing to stand up.  I’m sorry, but what does that say about a company?

I don’t shop at Walmart. Why? Because people spoke up about their mistreatment of employees, and I don’t support that. I try to shop local or at least regional whenever I can, because I can enquire as to how people are being treated. I no longer trust any claims that Walmart might try to make, because they’ve been proven to screw people over…over and over again.

I don’t shop at Eden Fantasys. Why? Because people (myself included) spoke up about the mistreatment of employees, and I don’t support that. I try to shop smaller sex toy stores/sites, where I can enquire as to how people are treated. I no longer trust any claims that EdenFantasys might try to make, because they have been show to screw over people, members of my community none the less, over and over again.

I am not telling you what to do. I’m just giving my opinion. I don’t judge those who shop at Walmart, and I don’t judge those who shop at EF. Just educate yourself first.

-Essin’ Em

I love porn. We know this.  This love has included being in it before, including this particular DVD, which is taken from scenes on CrashPadSeries.com. 

This particular DVD is entitled “Crash Pad Series Volume 5: Revolving Door“, and is starring Stacy Staxxx, August, Rex, Me, Red, Cyd Loverboy, Kuma, Julie Warren, Shawn and Mickey Mod. Thanks Babeland for sending it to me to review :)

The big talk about this DVD was the last scene, the one between Shawn and Mickey Mod. Why? Because Micky is a cisgender guy (his gender matches the sex his body was signed at birth; the opposite of transgender). He’s the first cisgender (and may still be the only cisgender) identified guy to be on crash pad, and so this scene was talked about a lot for whether it was queer or not (oh, I sure as hell think that is is), whether a cisgender guy should be allowed on a queer porn site (I hate that cisgender men seem to not be allowed to identify as queer sometimes?), etc.  So now I’ve covered the discussion centering around that scene, and am going to move on to discuss the rest of the DVD. If you’re interested in reading more, just google “Crash Pad Series Revolving Door” and you’ll get other reviews discussing it.

I loved the first scene with August and Stacy. There is just something there about the sweetness, the connection, the almost innocent power exchange, the hotness (and pervertedness) of dripping birthday candle wax on someone, the loving way they played with each other, the femme-tastic-ness of Stacy, the light bondage, the “plot” of celebrating a birthday…I loved it all. Was it full of hardcore S/M? Nope.  Lots of fisting? Nope. It was just sweet, sexy, hot queer porn, and honestly, I fucking love that.

My scene? Obviously I enjoyed it.  As some people joke, I may have broken the sound barrier with some of my screaming…but I *am* known for being a bit loud in bed, and else where.  Rex and I had only met once before, and hadn’t even really kissed, so it was really interesting figuring out our chemistry and interaction on camera. I enjoyed seeing that aspect a lot.

Cyd Loverboy and Red’s scene is full of hot cock sucking, fucking, and a little anal action; all hot, and having the two gender fucking queers fuck was pretty arousing to watch. Seems like Cyd’s porn career is starting to take off a bit now, and I look forward to seeing where that goes next.

Lastly was the scene between Kuma and Julie Warren; Kuma is quite the dapper leather daddy (I love the look he starts with!) and Julie Warren is such a lovely blonde.  I really loved this scene, but please note that what I love it for are things that often make people nervous; knife play, chest hitting, canes, stocking ripping, floggers and more. I liked seeing this heavier SM side of CPS, and really enjoyed this scene.

All in all, I’d say this is one of my favorite CPS compilations, and not just because my scene is on it. It’s one of the DVDs I actually see myself watching and enjoying again. 5 stars (out of 5).

-Essin’ Em

Click here to get your own Crash Pad 5.

The name of this product alone makes me want to get all sassy and say “you go girl…”

What is it?

It’s the Go Girl, provided to me for inspection and review by Babeland.

It comes in Camo (above, which we got) or pink.  Not so much my thing. What is it? It’s a STP (stand to pee) device, useable for all sorts of things from gender varient people wanting to use urinals to going camping or even rocking out at musical or Pride festivals. It’s an easier way to pee standing up.

Now, I’ve tried something similar before, also from Babeland last fall; the P style (read my review). I was excited to see what made this one different, and hopefully better, and even chatted it up on twitter with the lovely Nina Hartley.

This review may turn into a comparison of the two. Sorry, but I think that is more helpful.

The Go Girl wins for transit, that’s for sure. It’s flexible, so you can roll it up, put it in this cute little tube it came in, put said tube (and TP if you want) in the little Go Girl plastic bag it came with and done. It’s tiny – you can put it in your purse, pocket, back pack, even sock.  Contrast this to the long and fairly rigid P-Style, and Go Girl wins out on transportable-ness.

How about usability? P-Style wins. Hands down. Both Q and I tried the Go Girl….it aims well, yes, and fits fairly well in the crotch-al region. However, we both had our own issue; when she was using it, she over flowed the cup part, and had to work on slowing down/stopping her urination stream, which is not easy to do.  Mine seemed to be ok as far a speed/quanity was concerned, but I somehow wound up dripping it down my leg (perhaps it was trying to use it while wearing a skirt?). Contrast this with the P-style, which was easy to use, didn’t overflow, and was no drip. Plus, with the P-style, the harder surface can be used to wipe excess pee off in a forward motion much more easily. P-style wins on action.

Both are fairly easy to clean, both can be wiped down easily, both have color options.  All in all, I’d say take the P-style if you have room (they make cute little baggies for it), but the Go-Girl if you have a space/packing issue. One last thought; I think Go Girl is a really stupid name to market something that will be very useful to gender variant folks.  Q certainly doesn’t identify as a girl (nor do I for that matter), and I can’t see a lot of trans men and genderqueer people being like “let me just grab my go girl” with it’s pink packaging.  Marketing could certainly have done better on this part.

5 stars for the concept for Go Girl, but only 3 for actual function.

I wonder what Nina thought of it…

Click here to get a Go Girl of your own, or click here if you’re more in the mood for the P Style.

-Essin’ Em

I was really excited about this book, and not just because I have a bit of a fetish for collecting every sexuality based book IN THE WORLD (ok, not really, but close). Moregasm is Babeland’s new Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, written by the owners/founders of the lovely Babeland (who sent me this book to review. Take that FTC).

Why was I so excited? Because I was really for an all-encompassing, queer and straight friendly, monogamous and non-monogamous, rocking sex ed book, ready to take the world by storm. As a whole, Babeland is a great company, providing accessible and inclusive sex education to people of various genders, identities, backgrounds and more.

Maybe I hyped it up too much in my own mind, but I do have to say that I wound up being disappointed.

Some parts were great. I loved that they showed different XX bodies; women, genderqueer, gender fuckers, different races, different sizes, etc. Awesome.  They also showed lots of different vulvas, showing that everyone is unique. Again, awesome. They did a great job with talking about cuntacular/vulvar plumbing.

But then the poor pensises didn’t get that kind of love. There weren’t pictures of lots of different XY bodies.  Nor were there pictures of different types of pensises, to help normalize different sizes/shapes/circumcized/uncut.  I remember the first time I saw an uncut penis in a text book in college, and it was a whole different world to me.  Lots of people have never seen one, or are concerned about their size, whether they are curved or not, etc.  I thought it was kind of sad that they chose not to show the awesome variety of men out there.

So I started thinking that maybe this should be called the Queer Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, which, in my mind is a needed book, and that would be awesome.  Yes, Babeland is women focused, but the poor cis guys were getting the short end of the stick here.

Never fear; the chapters on blow jobs and intercourse completely reinforced hetero-normitivity.  All the illustrations showed a traditional looking woman (pretty hair and all) with a traditonal looking man (biceps and all).  Cause you know queer people don’t give blow jobs or have sex.  The strap on section was ridiculous short, and not as inclusive as I had hope.

What did they do well? I thought they showed off a great variety of sex positive toys in all of the chapters. The one exception to this was the lube chapter, where they ONLY showed Babeland lube. Now, Babeland carries other awesome lubes, like Maximus, so it wouldn’t be promoting something they don’t carry, and I know I personally get yeast infections from their Organic Babeland Lube. Ergo, I don’t know why they didn’t expand that chapter.

The book itself is beautiful; I love the color, the pictures inside, the quality. I love the list of resources in the back. I love the relaxed tone they use to talk about sex (although I’d say that lots of women/gender queer people with cunts, myself included, don’t like being refered to as “babe” but I totally get that it IS “Babe”-land).

I think this book would be good for an open minded straight couple, or maybe a therapist working with lots of hetero couples. I’d give it 2 or 3 stars (out of 5), because it is well written, but I was just really sad not to have an inclusive book coming from such a great company.

Click here to be the owner of your own copy of Moregasm.

-Essin’ Em

I LOVE chocolate.  Particularly GOOD chocolate. Milk chocolate is ok, and I’m not a fan of white, but a good piece of dark or bittersweet can really rev me up, and provides almost as much pleasure as a night with the Hitachi.

So when I first saw this new Nomi Tang vibe with the name “Better than Chocolate,” I did a double take. NOTHING is better than chocolate.  I mean, perhaps it was “close to as awesome as chocolate,” or even “on par with the amazing-ness of chocolate,” but certainly not BETTER than chocolate. I HAD to have one in order to verify these claims, and Babeland was kind enough to oblige my curiousity.

What is this new toy that claims to be superior to the cocoa bean? It’s a futuristic stingray shaped, ergonomic (would be great for people with varied motor skill abilities) vibrator that distains the traditional button system, and instead allows you to control your level of vibration as well as type of vibrating stimulation by a fancy schmancy little slider bar.  You slide it one way to increase vibration, the other way to decrease, and you tap the blue NT (NomiTang) logo to change the type of vibration you’re getting. It doesn’t stop there; once you figure out exactly how you like the buzziness, you tap the other end of the slider for two seconds, and it locks it on your setting. Impressive? Yes.

Currently, the color selection is purple (kind of a magenta) or blue (deep, dark blue). Thank goodness – I was afraid I’d fall in love with this new toy, and that it would be pink. [new readers: I am incredibly allergic to, and HATE the color pink]. It’s made of elastomer, which is phthalate free (although I don’t think it is sterilizable – any yays or nays on this?), and feels absolutely delightful. I always love sex toys that you WANT to touch and feel and put on your naughty bits.

It takes AAA batteries, which after having reviewed so many rechargeable toys(like the Form Six and the Delight), we had to actually scrounge to find them. Totally worth it.

I like this toy a lot. Which surprises me. I don’t usually like vibrators unless they can blow up a nuclear missile. While the BTC probably will never be ever to get me to climax, it felt good. Really damn good. I enjoyed having it hug my clit, and tease me. It was tantilizing.  And Q? Ha! Q loved this toy.  She loved it when she put the batteries in, she loved it when I ran it over her body, and while she didn’t really form actual words while I used it on her cunt, I’m pretty sure by the noises she DID make that she loved it there. Its shape is brilliant, and actually let me stimulate both her clit AND her cunt opening at the same time.

I also really appreciated the box it came in, and the little cloth carry bag (similar to the idea of the one that comes with all Lelo toys). They actually made a big deal about not using plastic in the packaging to be more earth friendly.  Marketing schtick? Perhaps, but it sure got me to notice and be impressed.

While I’m not sure that this toy is in fact better than chocolate (because really, even the Hitachi is a tie), it is pretty damn close.  It’s been very hard finding a vibrator that BOTH Q and I like, since we have so varied tastes, but we both give this one 5 stars. It’s eco friendly, body friendly, pink haters friendly, and has an interesting concept with great vibrations options. I can say that despite my expectations of wanting to pick it apart, I actually really do like this vibe.

Click here to get your very own, pretty damn close to as satisfying as chocolate vibrator.

-Essin’ Em